Chapter 32
Later that afternoon, Lily and David were seated in Captain Sherman’s office, waiting for the doctor to arrive. She told David about the event that had taken place earlier in the day—when Robbie had kicked her out of the room.
“He’s not himself. You understand that, right? He’s going to be okay, Sis, I know it. Robbie is tough, he’ll get through this.” Lily nodded in agreement but couldn’t stop thinking about the terror she had seen on Robbie’s face.
Captain Sherman walked in, shook their hands, and sat down behind his desk.
“When Dr. Rosen first arrived, we performed a thoracotomy. We needed to contain the hemorrhaging, remove the bullet, and repair the damage to his chest cavity and lungs. Even though the recovery from that surgery is usually difficult and painful, it was a necessary resuscitative procedure. Infection is always a major concern and right now his white blood cells are slightly elevated, so we are monitoring him closely.
“How long will it take for him to be well enough to go home?” David asked
“If he lived nearby, I would say ten days to two weeks. Since he has to travel to the States, we’re going to keep him here longer so he is healthy enough to withstand the long trip.”
He folded his hands on his desk. “That brings me to our other concern. When Dr. Rosen is weaned off the pain medication, our psychiatrist Captain Tremont will see him and conduct a psychological evaluation. With patients who have been in hostage situations, especially with terrorists involved, the physical damage can be bad but often the psychological wounds can be far worse. These patients often suffer from PTSD— post-traumatic stress disorder. If they are not treated properly with psychotherapy, they can suffer devastating consequences.
You have to understand that talking about the events that occurred may be extremely difficult for victims of hostage situations. Without the proper care and therapy, coping from a significant event of this enormity, is almost impossible. Without help they may isolate themselves from friends and family because they feel that no one they know has ever had the same experience—and they are usually correct in this assumption. They may act fearful and mistrusting and angry to family, friends, and strangers. Or they may turn inward and suffer from self-loathing or lack of self-esteem. So it’s important to know this in order to understand the stages that Dr. Rosen may go through and to encourage him to continue therapy after he leaves the hospital.”
Thirty minutes later, David and Lily left the doctor’s office and walked in silence to the hospital restaurant. Their heads were spinning and they gave each other the space to process the information.
Seated at the table, David broke the silence, “Like I said, he’s tough; I know he’ll be all right.” It sounded to Lily as if David were trying hard to convince himself. “We’ll make sure he gets the right help so he can move forward with his life.” David sounded confident but inside he was riddled with doubt. He knew from his own therapy that psychological demons could last a lifetime.
“Of course he will. We’ll make sure he feels our love and support.” Lily smiled at David and wondered if he had any indication just how scared she was.
Even though Lily was hesitant about going back into Robbie’s room after his earlier outburst, she wanted to check in on him before she went back to the hotel for the evening.
When she walked into the room, Robbie was asleep. Lily sat next to his bed and took his right hand in hers. It looked swollen. She looked at his left hand and it too looked as if it had become puffy since her earlier visit that day.
Lily walked into the hallway to see if any of the nurses were available. When she couldn’t find one, Lily walked to the nurse’s station and saw a clerk talking on the telephone. As Lily approached her, the clerk held up her index finger to let Lily know that she would be right with her. She hung up the phone and smiled at Lily.
“Can I help you, Miss Lockwood?”
“I don’t know if I’m imagining it or not, but Dr. Rosen’s hands look like they’ve swelled up since earlier in the day.”
“Okay I’ll ring for his nurse, Patricia, to have her check on him. Meanwhile I must inform you that visiting hours are over, you really must leave.”
“Yes I understand, I’ll go as soon as I speak to Patricia.” Lily turned around and headed back to Robbie’s room before the clerk could respond.
Within a few minutes, Patricia walked into the room, nodded to Lily, and went over to Robbie’s bed. She picked up Robbie’s hand and pressed the top of his hands with her thumb. She then examined his fingers, separating each one from the other. She removed his blanket so she could see his feet. She pressed his ankles.
“You’re right, his hands and feet look swollen. It looks like he may be retaining water. I’ll let Captain Sherman know after I take his vitals.
Patricia wrapped the blood pressure cuff around Robbie’s left arm and pumped. After she had marked down the results she took out the ear thermometer and pulled his left lobe down. Her demeanor changed and she appeared concerned.
“What’s wrong?”
“Well, he’s running a temp of 102 and his blood pressure is lower than usual. I’ll be right back.” Patricia walked out of the room.
Lily moved her chair closer to Robbie and put her hand on his forehead; he was burning up. When Patricia returned, she was carrying a bag of fluids that she hung on the pole. She removed the bag that was previously dripping medicine into the intravenous line and connected the new one.
“Captain Sherman is starting him on antibiotics. We’re going to take blood and urine to determine where the infection is coming from.” She put her hand on Lily’s shoulder as she walked by. “Listen, visiting hours are long over, so why don’t you go back to the hotel and get a good night’s sleep? I’ll be here until the morning, so I’ll take care of your man, here. He’s in good hands.”
Chapter 33
At 6:00 a. m. the phone rang in her hotel room, piercing the veil of slumber. Without opening her eyes Lily reached for it, and, in the process, knocked over the pitcher of water that the housekeeper had left for her on the nightstand. The water spilled on to the bed, soaking the sheets, blanket and Lily.
“Shit, piss, and corruption!” Lily said angrily. It was Daisy’s favorite “go to” curse whenever she was frustrated. Lily had happily adopted it after her mother’s death. She clicked on her phone, put a few pillows against the headboard to support her back, and sat up.
“Hello?” She scooted over to the left side of the bed, pulling all the pillows with her, to avoid the puddle that was rapidly invading the right side.
“Hey Sis, it’s me,” David said.
“David! What’s up? What time is it?” She squinted so she could see the clock.
“It’s about Robbie—”
“Uh oh, what’s going on?”
“Look, don’t get excited— promise me you won’t panic.” David had been with Lily before and witnessed, first hand, what she was like when she was on the verge of an anxiety attack. His sister was a conundrum. When things got rough or complicated, she could go two ways: fly off the handle and become paralyzed with fear or charge in like a bull and take control of the situation. Hopefully today the latter would prevail, because the last thing he needed was to expend his energy talking her down.
Lily’s heart began to race. “I promise, now tell me.”
“Well, the nurse called me at the hotel a couple of hours ago. I didn’t want to disturb you because I know you must have gotten in late. She let me know that there was a problem. Robbie’s white blood cells were elevated, his blood pressure had dropped really low, and he was running a high fever. He had been put on antibiotics earlier and now they were increasing his meds. I rushed over to the hospital and when I got to his room, I saw that Robbie was breathing really fast and was shaking. They said they’re bringing him to I.C.U. in a few minutes.”
Lily remained silent for fear of breaking down. Her heart raced and she felt tingles of perspiration on her fo
rehead and under her arms.
“Hello? Are you still there, Sis?”
Lily struggled to compose herself. She wiped her face and took a deep breath, “Yes I’m here. Just trying to process everything. So what happens next?”
“I think they just keep on doing what they’re doing until he comes around.” David said.
“I’m going to get dressed and will be right there.” David breathed a sigh of relief.
It was past noon and Robbie had already been back in the I.C.U for more than six hours. The swarm of nurses and doctors going back and forth in the past hour increased and David and Lily learned that Robbie’s condition had taken a turn for the worse. When Robbie opened his eyes he was so delirious that he did not recognize anyone. One of the nurses instructed David and Lily to leave the room and stay in the waiting room where Captain Sherman would be with them shortly.
Soon thereafter, Sherman joined them. “Robbie developed an infection that we’ve been treating for the past couple of days.” He reached into his brief case and extracted a thick manila folder, glanced at the pages, then looked back up at David and Lily.
“Unfortunately he has not yet responded to any of the antibiotics or steroids we’ve given him. They’re working overtime in the lab trying to figure out from his blood and cultures where the infection is originating and what kind it is. Unfortunately it rapidly progressed into sepsis which is extremely serious. Basically the infection travels through the blood to all the body’s organs. The danger is that one by one it affects each organ and shuts it down.
The doctor thumbed through Robbie’s hospital file. “If you remember, this morning, you signed a consent allowing us to put a central venous line in his jugular vein. Which we did. I just want to make sure that you understand its function. It’s a catheter that will allow us to get the medicine delivered into his heart faster and more efficiently.
“I don’t understand why you can’t figure out where the infection is or even what type it is. They have to—he’s been through so much already!” Lily stared into the doctor’s eyes as if her sheer will would somehow motivate him to uncover the one thing that would insure Robbie’s recovery.”
Captain Sherman pulled his chair closer to Lily. “I understand, Ms. Lockwood, but we are doing everything in our power for him.”
He turned the pages of the file until he had found the data he had been searching for. “Robbie’s creatinine level is high; he has low urine output and edema—all indicators that his kidneys have stopped functioning properly. The plan is to start him on dialysis as soon as they stabilize his blood pressure. I want you to know sepsis can be fatal if we cannot isolate the source of the infection and treat it. Unfortunately, because all the organs are involved, things can deteriorate rapidly. I want you both to fully understand the gravity of the situation.
Lily did not respond. She appeared shocked and sat silently wringing her hands. David realized that his brother was in deep trouble.
“We understand. We’ll be back in the I.C.U. with Robbie, if you need us for any reason.” David shook hands with the doctor.
When they stood, Lily stumbled and David grabbed her arm. While Captain Sherman was speaking Lily’s color had grown pale. Now she appeared frail, as if she had aged twenty years in the past ten minutes.
When the doctor began talking, Lily felt that familiar feeling—the room spun and she became lightheaded. When she stood, it was like being on that Tilt-a-Whirl ride at amusement parks.
Lily sat back down and looked at David, who was more than a little concerned. She didn’t know how much more either one of them could take. Just when they thought Robbie was out of the woods. . .
“I just need to sit down for a few minutes. Can you bring me some water, please?” Lily asked. David seemed relieved to be given a task.
When Robbie was brought back into the I.C.U, everything started feeling all-too-familiar for Lily. Memories of Daisy’s last days flooded back to her. How her mother’s condition seemed to get worse as each hour passed. Lily remembered all the meetings she had had with Daisy’s doctors. How each time she met with them the test results and condition were less encouraging than the time before. Until finally there was nothing more to discuss, no more tests to administer and no doctors to speak with. The final act was the admission of her mother into hospice care. The flurry of activity that had surrounded her mother the weeks after the accident ceased abruptly. Lily found the hush to be much more unsettling than the commotion had ever been. Once her mother was settled on the hospice floor, it was either one of the nurses or social workers, she couldn’t recall, who gave her a palliative care handbook. She remembered how surprised she had been when she read all about “active dying” describing, in detail, the last stages of life. She learned a person actually goes through different physical phases during the dying process. Their breathing changes, as does their color. . .
Lily began to panic. Robbie’s symptoms mirrored those of her mother during the last days of her life. Was Robbie dying? How could that be? Would Robbie, who had survived the abduction and unimaginable torture in the hands of the terrorists, die because of an infection? It didn’t make sense.
David returned with the water and Lily took the cup from him with trembling hands. She pressed Kleenex against her eyes and said, “David I need to go to a chapel to pray.”
Lily closed her eyes and folded her hands:
Dear Heavenly Father, I cannot believe that this happening—that you and I are here again. Please help me to understand why this is so. Is this some grand plan of yours? I cannot imagine it would be, because it seems so senseless and wrong. You know that Robbie is a good man who heals the people that most of the world has forgotten. How could you allow him to be kidnapped, tortured, and then, with your intervention, be rescued—only to die in a hospital bed?
Please, dear Lord, heal Robbie. I understand that everything is your divine will. I get that; I really do. But please, oh Lord, use all your power and love to make him well. Take pity. He is such a good man. All he wants from life is to heal people and make the world a better place. There is so much more that he has to give and so many people he could help.
You must know that Hannah just buried her husband. How could she survive the death of her son, too? This will kill her, but then you know that.
Please don’t leave me alone in a world that has no Daisy and no Robbie. When my mother died, my life went from oil colors to pastel. If you take Robbie those colors will be gone and I will be left with nothing but black and white.
While his sister was praying, David closed his eyes. But he did not pray. He needed to determine what he would say when he called his mother to tell her that Robbie’s condition had taken a turn for the worse. How could he prepare his mother for the possibility that her youngest son may very well die.
David needed a drink—bad. He had been sober and working the program faithfully. At home, he attended at least four meetings a week—more when he was going through a difficult time. It had been weeks since he’d attended a meeting and he knew he needed to call his sponsor. Maybe that should be his first phone call before he telephoned home. He opened his eyes and looked at his watch. Dallas was eight hours behind, which gave him plenty of time to make both phone calls.
His sponsor would help him put together a plan. But who would help him cope with the guilt weighing heavily on his soul? He looked over at his sister who was praying so fervently, hands clasped, eyebrows furrowed. How could he have put her through all this grief?
How in the world would he ever come to terms with the shame that weighed so heavily on his conscience? There was a time when he almost wished that Robbie would not be rescued so that his mother and Lily would continue to look to him for support and advice. David thought that once Robbie was back in the picture, he would be forgotten and cast aside. But now, Robbie may not survive. And how could David ever live with the guilt?
I could really use a Scotch—just one shot to calm my nerves and to be able to talk
to Mom. One shot, I can handle it. It doesn’t mean I’d have to take a second. No way—one shot, done. Then when I get back home, I’ll get right with the program. I don’t need to tell Lily. No need for her to worry. One drink is shit, I could handle that, easily. And who knows, this could be a test. If I could handle it, maybe I could be like everyone else—a normal drinker. Keep it under control. Get home from work, have dinner, a drink or two and go about the rest of the night. I could be cured, and unless I test it, how would I ever know? As soon as I leave here, I’ll go out for one drink.
Once he’d made the decision to have a drink, the thought of it became encompassing. Everything else faded into the background.
When she was finished with her prayers, Lily reached for David’s arm to help her rise from her kneeling position. She faced David and knew that he felt the responsibility to be strong for the both of them. She looked at his face— tired beyond his years—with eyes that mirrored the anguish and worry he couldn’t dare reveal.
Lily held her arms up and David walked into her embrace. Even though David stood a good foot taller than his sister, she reached for his head and pulled it down to rest on her small shoulder.
“Robbie and I are lucky— you are a wonderful brother.”
David licked his lips. He could taste the Scotch.
Chapter 34
After leaving the chapel, Lily and David returned to the I.C.U. to check in on Robbie. His condition had improved slightly and the lab technicians planned to bring in a portable dialysis machine. David left suddenly, saying there were a few loose ends that he had to take care of. He told Lily that when she was ready to leave, she should text him and he would pick her up in the car he had rented the day before.
Lily had a suspicion about why David had left so abruptly. She felt the thought of dialysis probably brought back terrible memories for David. After the car crash in which he and Daisy had been involved, David’s both kidneys were damaged. For the few weeks before he was the recipient of a kidney transplant, he had been practically tethered to the dialysis machine to keep him alive.
The Silver Cord: The Lily Lockwood Series: Book Two Page 21
