There was no way the fault would lie with a potent male like Jett. Her mother’s disease wasn’t genetic but River might have inherited that insatiable heat issue. Cass too. She needed to call her sister—and tell her what? She couldn’t even talk to her mate without falling apart. “I have to talk to Cass. She might inherit the heat problem. Too.”
“Fuck me.” Jett pulled out of her and she winced. She was soaked and no doubt her clothes were ruined again. Her bra was stretched around her waist and her nice top seemed to be in pieces.
He knelt beside her and peeled her out of her remaining clothing, kicking free of his jeans. That monster cock crouched along his thigh and she tore her gaze away in case it woke up again. She felt sated for now but damn tender. When he mopped her up with a wad of tissues, she wanted to put a pillow over her face. The intimacies were something she might never get used to.
“Listen to me.” His tone brooked no disobedience.
She looked him in the face and paid attention.
“Do you even know if it’s hereditary?” he asked.
“Uh, no. But I hadn’t even heard of it until now.”
“Exactly. River, you have a brain. You’re smart when you aren’t reacting from some place in your gut that stores all the scary things. Just so you’re aware, it’s not actually that common, at least not in our pack.”
“That you know of.”
He hesitated, as though choosing his words carefully. “I do know, River. I’m the Alpha, remember?
She frowned. “I’d have thought you’d hold the female responsible.”
Jett slumped back and threw his forearm over his eyes, muttering about needing strength. She cautiously felt her neck, where the bite throbbed a little, and he somehow knew. “Did I hurt you?”
“No. If anything, it made me … come harder,” she admitted.
“That’s something then.”
He was teasing her again. She was figuring him out—and she kinda liked it. “Something.” Take that.
“Wench.” He wrapped her up and rolled her partially under him, staring into her eyes. “Now, listen. You have this unbalanced take on male and female roles in regard to mates. Yes, the male becomes more dominant, and obedience by the female—submission and surrender—is a huge turn on for us. At least in the bedroom. Females embrace our protection and the nurturing because historically we were all that stood between them, the pups and the big, bad world.
“But blame isn’t levied about the mating heat. You don’t cast blame on nature. We do whatever is necessary to assuage that need, and if we fall short, we fix it. Is it a slam to the ego? It could be if the male is arrogant enough to think he can circumvent a natural issue, something beyond control, but generally, a male doesn't think that way. He’ll do anything for his mate. Can’t you see that? The mating heat has ensured our survival for centuries, River, and if we let ego and blame get in the way, we’re dooming our species.”
“I feel like I grew up under a rock.” Though she still couldn’t even entertain the idea of another male touching her.
“I’ll bet there’s an explanation for that. What happened after your mom died?”
“My dad forgot about us. For a long time. Oh, he took care of us financially, but it was like he couldn’t even stand to see us. It was really hard on Cass.”
“Not you?”
“No. I already had a bad opinion of him and his rejection was okay.”
“Really?”
A sudden rush of tears burned her eyes. “No. I guess not. If I let myself really consider it I felt totally abandoned. But I had Cass to worry about, so I coped.”
“You were fucking well ten years old. A baby in shifter years. You lost your mom and you miss her no matter how confused you were about some things you overheard. Christ sake, River. Give yourself some credit.”
“It’s done, Jett.” It hurt too much to do more than hear his words. She would do some thinking over the next while—cautiously.
“But you can give it some thought and see what you lost and maybe we can replace some of that.”
He was a freaking mind reader. Tears escaped and she snuffled into her hand. Jett passed her some tissues and rubbed her back. Her wolf relaxed into his touch and … so did she. “I’ll try.”
“I’ll help. Because I’m not letting you slip back.”
As she settled, he posed another question. “So you learned about mating and wolf intimacy from your mom as much as she could share at that age?”
“Right. Generalities only, but I knew what I heard those nights. Then I heard things at school. Humans are quite different than wolves and the freedom their females experienced drew me. I guess I was so busy avoiding wolf sexual culture that I confused myself.”
“I’d say so,” he said drily. “And from here on in, you’re going to ask me. And what I don’t know—from the female side of things—I’ll have an older female fill you in.”
“Maybe your Mom? If Desiree hasn’t already made her hate me.”
“Leave Desi to me. She’ll have her own issues to deal with tomorrow.”
“Why?”
He sighed and she again regretted how she hadn’t acted like an adult given the huge burden he carried. They could have talked it out before he’d… Ah, and now she was accepting they’d have sex before or after or whenever. She still felt a twinge of resentment he had interrupted her foray into independence, but it was being consumed by other, more interesting feelings. Maybe more palatable ones. And then there was the issue of being considered a rogue…
“Desi has her heart set on Tahl.” Jett pulled her into the present.
“I know,” she agreed. “She told me.”
“So you did connect.”
“We did until I freaked out about helping those females. She must think I’m a terrible person and not fit to be your mate.”
“My sister is spoiled and a bit self-absorbed, and doesn’t always consider all the implications before she reacts.”
Like me. She was glad he didn’t make the comparison and focused on his next statement.
“But she has a good heart and will come around. Maybe you could share a bit with her, because despite her other failings, she absolutely can keep her mouth shut.”
“We nearly touched on my … issues today, but life intervened. So why is she going to be upset?”
“Tahl doesn’t want her.”
“Oh, no.” She felt Desiree’s anticipated pain. “Oh, dear.”
“He’s heading to another pack and if the female is amenable to his claim he’ll remain there.”
“Another female? Poor Desi.”
“He hasn’t led her on, River. Not at all. It’s all one-sided.”
“I don’t know if that’s better or worse. And he’s not coming back? I thought he was your lieutenant? Are you going to tell her?”
“No. Tahl is. He believes it’s the right thing to do. And as for losing him, think of what it would mean if I denied him leave.”
She couldn’t imagine how that was going to play out tomorrow and wished she didn’t have to be around to see it. But she was the alpha’s mate and needed to start thinking that way. “I’ll see if she’ll help me with a plan for those seventeen women. It might ease her a little. Distract her.”
Jett nodded, but she felt his worry. Desiree was going to be broken hearted—and humiliated. The younger female had over a year to her mating heat, however, and hopefully, by then, someone worthy would catch her eye to replace Tahl. He’d claim her and it would all be good. Like with her and Jett.
Totally shocked, she shoved up to a sitting position and dragged her tangled hair out of her face. Jett stared back at her.
“What?”
“I … I had this thought. That someone good for Desi would claim her and it would all work out. Like us.”
His craggy features softened and he reached to place his hand over her heart. The warmth of his callused palm sank in deep. “It will work out, little River. Have faith.”
“My mother may not be the best choice to answer your questions, sweetheart.”
“Why’s that?” she asked drowsily, not really caring.
“Because she’s human.”
All weariness gone, she again heaved up and stared.
“Conversation stopper, eh?” He watched her warily before his gaze dropped lower. If it wasn’t for the bombshell he’d just dropped, she might have smiled at the way he dragged his gaze back to communicate with her. Very reluctantly. She might be a pretty ordinary shifter, but Jett found her to his liking.
The implication of his mother’s humanness hit hard. “Maybe you could have told me tomorrow. Or another time in the far future. My head is going to explode.”
“You’ll meet her tomorrow in all likelihood and you’ll see it. I didn’t want to withhold.”
“Right. Okay. So, Jericho mated a human.” Her oh-so-traditional former Alpha.
“Not exactly mated. He had sex with her and she conceived. Not unheard of, but pretty damn rare. And here I am. And my birth changed something in her makeup because she connected with another wolf—my sisters’ father, afterward. That was closer to a true mate bond.” His face tightened. “It was fucking hard that he died while defending my territory.”
There was so much to take in, but she focused on Jett. “Desiree is proud of him for doing his job, if that’s any consolation.”
“Some. My mother feels the same, but it weighs heavily on me.”
Her heart pounded in her chest at the way he was opening up to her, and she tried to build a little distance so she wouldn’t get all emotional and be unable to say the right thing. She wondered what his lineage was, given his parents. “So that makes you…”
“Part wolf. More human. And something else.”
“Something else?” she whispered. So much for distance.
“My mother must have Fae blood, though there’s no overt evidence of it and it’s not like we have anyone to ask. The Fae have been gone from this realm for over a century. But whatever she passed on to me, I was destined for alpha status from day one. I walked, talked, and developed quicker than any of my peers, in addition to other things.”
“How old are you?” There was so much she didn’t know about him.
“Thirty-two.”
“What? No!” She’d pegged him to be in his late forties, although it was difficult to know a wolf’s age because they didn’t seem to get older after forty or so. “You’re so … mature.”
He shrugged. “Partly my upbringing, partly my genes. I finished college—I earned a degree in politics and what might be loosely called war mongering from a military institution—when I was seventeen. They thought I was twenty when I enrolled and doing five years in three isn’t unheard of. Life experience is a great teacher too.”
“I have to sleep on this, Jett. I can’t seem to keep my eyes open.” It was true. Her brain was shutting down as though someone was throwing light switches, one by one.
“We’ll talk tomorrow,” he promised, tucking her in beside him and dropping a kiss on her cheek. His cock throbbed against her hip, at full mast, and she felt a stirring of response. She made a mental note to ask him why he hadn’t chosen a mate before now, and then mental exhaustion pulled her under.
****
Waking, she registered the empty space beside her. Considering how she’d never actually shared a bed with anyone before, she thought she could get used to it. But only if it was Jett sleeping there. Not just sleeping.
Arousal pricked the length of her spine and she chewed her bottom lip. Damn wolf. There were a few days to go before her hormones settled, but she was certain the need had leveled off to some extent—after yesterday’s sex. Before it had simmered in the background where she’d been viscerally and painfully aware of it despite all efforts to distract herself. Now it was more like a sweet, anticipatory thrum. Perhaps it had been the education bestowed on her by her mate, settling her brain.
She’d processed a considerable amount overnight. At some point, in the not so distant future, she needed to talk with her father. Not that she was going to open up that untouchable subject with him—no kids wanted to talk about sex with their parents. But maybe she could view him differently and perhaps they could connect in a healthier fashion. She wasn’t going to give a moment’s thought to being in the same position as her mother.
Today promised to be one full of heartache of all sorts, and she resolved to put her own issues aside and stand with Jett. Desiree was another consideration, and she hoped she and her sister-in-law might repair the blow to their burgeoning friendship. And then there was Jett’s mom… Well, she’d form her own opinions when she met the woman.
Slipping from the bed, she located her robe and pulled it on, the plush fabric easing the chill of the room. Wolves ran hot and their homes were usually kept at a temperature below that of what humans found comfortable, but the bedroom was chilly by anyone’s standards. Smoothing back her hair, she wandered to the head of the stairs and confirmed the faint noises she’d heard were confined to the kitchen.
Jett stood at the stove, poking at the bacon frying in the big skillet. Coffee gurgled into the pot on the counter beside him, the comforting sound warring with the aggressive sizzle of the meat, and a carton of eggs sat at his elbow.
“You cook too?”
He set the fork down and came to her, a pair of low slung shorts clinging to his hips. Every muscle and ridge on his torso stood out starkly and the ‘V’ framing his chiseled abdomen made her breath shorten.
Cradling her face between his big palms, he kissed her nose. She breathed in the smells of bacon and a freshly showered Jett, not that the soap masked his heady underlying scent.
“I’m a wolf of many talents, though breakfast is pretty much the ceiling as far as food goes. Morning, sweetheart.” He drifted his fingers over her robe. “Lambs? Really?”
White sheep on a pink background had amused her, so she bought the cozy garment. “You’re seeing my dark side.”
With a chuckle, he pinched the fabric and drew her to the island. “Sit. I’ll pour you a coffee and then scramble the eggs if that suits you? Toast is in the oven, staying warm. I thought you’d sleep forever.”
“I need a lot of sleep. Always have. And scrambled is fine.”
“Good to know. And you needed the rest.”
She blushed, and he laughed again, stirring the eggs. “You’ve had a few nerve-wracking days, River. Although I did work you hard last night.”
Would she ever get used to his plain speaking? Not to mention how his reference immediately set off her imagination. Her wolf was already awake and pacing, merely from seeing him. She reminded herself of what this morning held and held out her cup for more coffee, shoving everything else to the back of her mind.
“What time are we going to see the families, Jett?”
“Mid-morning. The last wolf, Johann, pulled through.”
“A blessing,” she said, and he gave her a small smile that didn’t hide the pain he carried over the loss of the others.
They ate quickly, and he sent her up to shower and dress while he cleaned up. Her father hadn’t lifted a finger in the house since her mother died, and River thought Jett’s obvious domestication was something she could get used to. When she emerged from the bathroom, he was already dressed.
He approved of her simple suit, one she’d purchased to wear for her new job. “You look extremely professional. Like a serious librarian.”
“Maybe I should wear my reading glasses.” She showed him the dark rimmed specs.
A wicked curl lifted the corner of his mouth. “I’m envisioning you, out of that suit and in nothing but those glasses. My fantasies include sexy librarians.”
Holy crap. Her wolf panted and she barely kept herself in check as her own imagination soared. “We don’t have time for your teenage infatuations.”
With a low laugh, he escorted her out to the car, the light pressure of his fingers at her elbow sending shivers of want up her spine.
The drive to the first home was made in relative silence and she resolved to do her best. Despite how grief-stricken the family members were, their respect and affection for their Alpha was apparent, and all she had to do was offer her condolences and stand supportively beside him.
It wasn’t until the last home they visited that the pattern changed. An attractive female opened the door to them and her attitude was blatantly hostile. Jett bore it stoically as he spoke with her and a small child who gazed at them both in confusion. They weren’t offered a seat, instead standing awkwardly just inside the door. The blonde heard them out and there was nothing else to do.
“You had no right sending Trevor,” she gritted as she watched them leave.
Jett immediately turned back and held out his hand. “There weren’t enough single males to rout the rogues, Marsha. We all had to pitch in.”
“This pack doesn’t have the reputation so many of the others do, Jett. That’s why those rogues are sniffing around. If you set a firmer standard they’d move elsewhere.”
“Not true—”
Marsha shut the door on his quiet protest, and River grabbed his hand. “She’s hurting and saying things she doesn’t mean.” Though she wondered about firmer standards…
Squeezing her fingers, he walked her back to the SUV. “Maybe so. In any event, I’ll open the pack books for you and have you set up a trust fund for her and the other families. They won’t do without.”
Being without a loved one couldn’t be solved by money, but not having to worry about finances could lift some of the burden. “I can do that.”
“My laws aren’t as stringent as some, River. That’s what Marsha meant. I prefer to view it as being progressive and forward thinking, encouraging pack members to think for themselves when appropriate, but some view it as weakness. That I’m not in control and can be usurped, hence the rogues sniffing around.”
Bound by Destiny (Blue Star Shifters Book 1) Page 10
