by Kaia Bennett
Luca was shivering, thrusting erratically as he spent himself inside of her. This was the second night in a row they’d made love. There was a sense of relief in that, a sense of accomplishment that took some of the bite out of her sadness. They had finally leaped the last hurdle that had been making her doubt their relationship. Of course, the sex was going to be a little awkward and out of sync after so a long dry spell. But she could handle it. She could try harder to get the satisfaction she used to get with Luca. There was no one to stand in the way of her doing that now.
Gia kissed his shoulder, his neck, and his lips. They were the gentle kisses of his girlfriend, a girl that had been missing for quite some time. Her hands were trying to recapture the familiarity of his body, memorizing the strength of his back, his arms, and the softness of his hair. Even in the dark she could see the flecks of gold and green in the hazel eyes smiling down at her. Especially the green.
He rolled off of her and she followed him, snuggling into the crook of his arm. Slowly, but surely, the steady rhythms of sleep started to take him over and it made her afraid. When he fell asleep, she would be alone with her thoughts.
"Luca?"
"Hmm?" he said drowsily.
"I'm glad you came over. I really missed you." She paused, waiting to see if he was going to say anything, then continued. "I know it's my fault we haven't really spent much time together."
She felt the rise and fall of his chest under hers, heard the deep exhale of breath.
"We've both been busy, Gigi. Don't feel bad."
She looked up at him with a smile, and in response he kissed her forehead.
"I missed you, too," he said. She could hear sleep coming to claim him.
"Luca?"
"Yeah?" There was a slight edge in his voice. He would be more apt to talk in the morning, but, right now, she was intruding on his post-orgasmic slumber.
"I love you." She wondered if he could hear the desperation in her voice, the need for something to fuse them together even tighter than their bodies could.
But, she knew he didn't. He couldn't possibly know what she had been through to get to this moment, and how badly she wanted some small inkling that things would return to the way they were.
"Love you, too," he murmured.
And then she was alone again. She lay against his warmth as long as she could stand before his peaceful slumber started to unnerve her, even piss her off a little bit. She wanted to sleep too, but instead, she laid awake, her mind turning and her body wanting something more.
A loud buzzing on the nightstand and a little flash of lights drew her gaze. Luca's phone was vibrating with a text. She quickly grabbed it off the hard surface it was grinding against before it made any more noise.
Luckily, Luca was a deep sleeper. She’d learned that fact one night when she fell out of bed because he’d pushed her off in his sleep. A loud scream and a thump on the floor hadn't woken him; it had taken a good smack to the head for him to come back to the land of the living and groggily apologize. Gia lay in bed laughing slightly at the memory, at the memories that had become the little bricks that made up her relationship. All the great sex in the world couldn't compete with those real moments.
The smile was still on her face when she looked down at the screen of Luca's phone and saw Ashley's name. She was leaving him a message. At one twenty-three in the morning. Gia’s smile slowly melted, the light dimming in her eyes as she stared down at his phone. Her mind went through the standard litany of excuses for why a girl that obviously liked her boyfriend could be calling at this time of night.
Common sense made her scoot out of bed, slip on a t-shirt, and pad into the bathroom with his phone.
She turned on the light and closed the door, squinting into the glaring brightness. Sitting on the toilet while her eyes adjusted, Gia rubbed her feet together against the cold tile as she opened the screen to his phone and stared.
Now what?
She’d never felt the need or desire to invade his privacy this way. She thought situations like this only happened to other people, or in bad R&B songs. What should she do? What should she check first? If she read this new message he would know she was snooping around in his phone, right?
Maybe it didn't matter that Ashley was calling because he only saw her as a friend. Of course, it was obvious Ashley wanted to be more than friends, but could Gia really blame her? Luca was gorgeous, funny, athletic, and friendly; he was the life of the party wherever he went. She had felt the same way about him years ago, when she was just a quiet girl watching him from afar.
Her train of thought had the exact opposite effect on her nerves. Instead of comforting her, it reminded her why she’d suspected their relationship was in danger, even before the mess with Flynn. Nothing could make a hot guy’s stock go up the way being unavailable could.
Fear propelled her into action, and she read the new message.
i miss u. can i c u 2morrow nite?
Gia stared at the words and forced herself to read another meaning into them, a different meaning. When she couldn't, she took a deep breath. And then she laughed. As if it was actually funny.
How sweet, she thought. She knows he's busy tonight with his girlfriend, so she asked for tomorrow instead.
From there a quick perusal of his texts showed Ashley had been "missing" him for quite some time. Luca’s outgoing and incoming calls confirmed their habit of talking. It should have made her angry; she should be leaving the bathroom to confront him. Instead, she laughed again, leaning forward with her head in her hands, her tears dripping down her wrists and onto that telltale phone.
It was the irony that killed her, the sheer weight of the knowledge that the thing she had wanted most—her perfect relationship—was never hers to begin with. She had struck up the deal with Flynn to protect Luca and it had been for nothing. Luca was blatantly flirting with the girl he was screwing behind her back
Gia wanted to be angry, but all she could feel was sadness and her own remorse rising to the surface again. She was no less guilty than her boyfriend, despite the fact that he could sleep soundly in the other room while she couldn't.
This was the bad karma she had been afraid of, and now that it was here, she couldn't figure out what to do next. It would be so easy to let her pride win, and let him know that she wasn't his fool anymore. But, hadn't she just told herself she would try harder, that she would fix what she had helped break? Now, when she was faced with the task, was she just going to give up?
She sat quietly sobbing in the bathroom, and for the first time in a long while, her mind was completely blank.
***
When Luca woke up the next morning, Gia was sitting in her desk chair with her knees tucked into her chest, staring out the window.
"Hey," he said, stretching out under her sheets. "How long you been up?"
"A little while. I couldn't sleep."
He laughed and rolled over. "Was I snoring again?" he joked.
She smiled lightly and turned to him. Something lit up in his eyes when he looked at her, and a quick glance showed that his eyes weren't the only thing that was happy to see her.
"Come back to bed," he said.
She stood, walked to the bed and sat down on top of it.
He touched her face lightly, pulling her in for a soft good morning kiss. Her lips were gentle as they touched his; her fingers ran lovingly through his hair. Luca pulled away to look at her and seemed as if he was about to say something about repeating last night, but he stopped.
"Babe? What's wrong?"
Her face looked so sad, so torn, but her eyes were dry. Her voice was steady when she spoke.
"I can't do this anymore," she whispered.
CHAPTER NINE
It was Wednesday again. It always ended up coming around so quickly. Flynn had wanted to skip class, but this professor liked to hold her students hostage with attendance, so he didn't have much of a choice.
It was a shock to the system when he w
alked through the door and saw Gia for the first time in more than a week. She looked up and immediately met his eyes, even though he had entered with a small group of others scrambling to get seated on time.
Their eyes locked, and it seemed like someone had clicked on the slow motion button in his life. He caught every movement she made; from the way those dark eyelashes fluttered closed and opened, to the way her body tensed and her lips parted in slight surprise. He wondered if that was how he looked to her, before he forced himself to turn away and walk up the steps towards the back row.
Gia felt her stomach actually lurch when Flynn cut the ties that bound their gaze and walked to the back of the room. It had been such an abrupt glance, as if she were some complete stranger his eyes could simply pass over. She hadn't meant to stare, but when he walked in, she swore she could feel the air shift. It was the way her body always felt when he was near, like she was being led around by the throbbing between her legs.
Her mind, however, was screaming in anger. The cause for all of her angst, and for the horrible break up with Luca just days before, was probably in the back row catching an afternoon nap. She could have ignored her conflicting head and body if last week had been the last time they were ever going to see each other. But there was still class, and the project to deal with. Gia clenched her jaw, and turned her attention to the head of the room. She would have to endure for just a little longer.
Flynn was wide awake and staring at his watch. This had to be the longest and most tortuous hour and fifteen minutes he had ever endured. More than once, he thought about just getting up and leaving early. And then, he would glance down to the front row, and watch Gia’s dark hair swish back and forth in her ponytail while she took her over-achiever notes. He would stare at the soft golden brown skin peeking out of her sky blue tank top, and he literally felt himself grimace at the prospect of leaving.
He wasn't going to let her drive him out of class just because he couldn't stop thinking about her tight pussy clamped around his cock. He wasn't going to let some nice curves and a pretty face turn him into a little bitch. He was going to sit there, and take it, and not care.
As soon as class was over, Gia turned to see Flynn already halfway down the stairs and headed out the door. She’d planned to talk to him about the project but he was out the gate like a racehorse. He was acting like she had the plague or something, and it was pissing her off. And the fact that it pissed her off made her angrier.
She’d told herself the whole point of sleeping with him was so he could do what he was doing right now—pretend she barely existed. So, why the hell was she so angry he was keeping up his end of the bargain? She didn’t have an answer, and she honestly didn’t want to think too hard about the reason she was so upset. She had something she had to ask, and she was going to find his sorry ass and talk to him about it.
Flynn had to consciously tell himself to slow down as he turned the corner to head towards the exit. What the fuck was he running from? Gia was just a girl, and she’d already made it perfectly clear she wouldn't be chasing him anytime soon. He realized then that he wasn’t running from her; he was trying to escape the almost insane urge to break his word, grab her and take her to the nearest vacant room and rip off every stitch of...
He went to push open the door that would at least free him from the science building, if not from her. He was halfway out when he felt a hand on his back, and he turned to see whom the hand belonged to.
Gia hadn't meant to touch him. She had been in the process of calling out his name when she finally caught up to him. Before she knew it, she was behind his broad back, watching the muscles fan out under his shirt as he made his way out the door. How weak was she that she couldn't even resist touching him? She would say his name if only she could speak. Her brain was screaming at her to say something.
"H-hey," she managed.
He paused in his tracks, stealing a glance out of the corner of his eye. She had snatched her hand away, but she was still there, staring up at him with those big brown eyes. She was indeed talking to him. A nod served as his greeting when he turned to face her head on.
She was finding it hard to breathe again. It couldn't be natural, or healthy, to have this kind of response to another human being. But, here it was again, this unmistakable ache that seemed to both increase and ease with proximity to him.
"You mind if we get out of the doorway?" he asked. "I need to smoke. "
She nodded, and waited for him to walk out. Instead, he held the door open for her.
He had to suppress a smile as she walked warily through it, studying him like he was a hawk about to swoop on her, the defenseless mouse. Watching her hips sway in those white shorts, and her long, creamy legs made him think that wasn't too far from the truth. He would have to make this quick.
Outside now, they walked in silence to the sidewalk and Flynn pulled out a cigarette and lit up. An expression of mild relief crossed his face as he inhaled, and he turned his attention to her. He squinted through his hair and the smoke billowing in front of his face, like he was staring into her, through her. He should be able to see her heart thumping with eyes like those.
"Need something, Gia?"
"No. I mean, yeah...,” she stammered. "It's nothing real important or anything, I was just wondering if you have a minute. If you don't, that's fine. I just, you know...wanted to talk to you about the project. For a minute."
She tried to stop herself from babbling, but it wasn't working. Everything was so screwed up. His eyes were clearly saying he didn't care what she had to say. As usual, he was completely unaffected by her.
"I thought it would be easier to talk about it after class," she finished, when he frowned down at her.
Flynn exhaled and turned away. "I got work soon, so..."
"Oh, okay. I understand," she said, before he could finish. She shuffled from foot to foot smiling in a way that managed to be both shy and bitter. "Look, I'll just handle it on my own. See ya."
She felt mortified as she put one foot in front of the other, walking farther and farther away. At least his cool demeanor had stopped her from making another stupid mistake. She hadn't really needed to talk to him that badly. She could've done this whole fucking project with her eyes closed, and from now on that was just what she was going to do.
"Gia!" Flynn called.
She stopped as if her feet had brakes. His voice hadn't been very loud, but it carried to her as if her ears were tuned into his frequency. She turned, gripping her book bag like a life raft.
"You walked to class, right? I can drop you off before I head to work. It'll give us a chance to talk," he said, walking up next to her.
Gia looked up at him warily. She didn’t like the idea of being in closed quarters with him. He, of course, read her look fluently, and sighed.
"Just talk. You don't need to be afraid of me. I promised, remember?"
She could tell that he meant it. There was something in his eyes, a restraint which made her both relieved and...
What was the other feeling? Could it be disappointment?
After a moment of contemplation, she nodded and said, "Okay."
They trekked to his car in relative silence, passing other students who were heading towards their next class or lunch break. A few times Flynn passed someone he knew and gave them a pound or a nod. She watched random girls ogle him as they passed and it made her stomach churn. He was in a simple forest green v-neck shirt, dark jeans and sneakers, and yet he couldn't seem to avert attention. What was she doing, thinking he was consciously making an effort to ignore her? How could she think he gave two shits about her when the world seemed to buzz around him?
They made their way to his car and, in a strange little twist, he unlocked her door and opened it for her while he tossed his cigarette. It was chivalrous, and unlike the guy who’d made her masturbate in front of him. Just thinking about it made Gia smack her hand against her forehead as he circled the car to get in. What the hell was she doin
g?
Flynn got behind the driver’s seat, and they sat for a moment. All was quiet and still.
"I'm just guessing," he said, mercifully breaking the silence, "but you live close by, right?"
She nodded, looking at her knees and her hands shaking slightly over them. He started the car and she pointed in the direction he would have to drive to get to her campus apartment.
"You know, if you live around here, it's already bound to be a short conversation. Might want to start talking now."
Gia nodded again, gathering up her courage. "Umm...I had a question to ask you. I...well I needed to know..."
She found that the words lost momentum and lodged in her throat. He turned to look at her, his brow slightly furrowed and the corners of his lips twisted up in a quizzical smile. He was obviously wondering what the hell she was trying to say.
To her own horror, she started talking about poster boards and possible group activities for the rest of the class, spouting off things she hadn't even been considering doing. She was rambling, trying to fill up this unnecessary get-together with stuff that sounded unimportant, even to her. She knew how she must sound - like a girl grasping at straws just for the opportunity to talk to him. If he noticed, he didn't say so.
"So what do you think? You haven't said anything?" she asked after a moment.
"I don't care. Do whatever you want," he said, and then, "Do I turn left or right at this light?"
She wanted to smack herself again. Of all the stupid reasons to break their perfect silence, she just had to use something as mundane as project stuff. She could have typed up what she’d said and emailed him in less time than it had taken them to walk to his car. Gia knew at that moment she’d done this just to prove to herself she could handle her own in his presence. No, more than that; she’d done it to prove to him that she was unaffected.
