“Oh, that’s right.” I’d forgotten all about him leaving. I walked over to the old roll-top desk near the hallway, where I knew Rita kept phone cords. “Have you been all right here alone? I know it’s a big house,” I said as I rummaged through a drawer.
“I love this house. I haven’t been here in so long. Since…well, Rita’s been great. She said to make myself at home.”
“That’s my sis. Did you—”
“I have something to show you.”
I had my hand on the cord and shut the drawer. “Sure. Just let me plug this in first.” I reached under the desk for the outlet and plugged in the charger and then set the phone on the desk.
“Over here,” Alyssa said, Granger sticking by her side as she walked out of the living room.
I followed her down the hall, wondering if she had been exploring or gone into Jessica’s bedroom. In her frame of mind, that would have been a mistake.
“What is it?” I asked with curiosity. Though I was anxious to get back out to search for Gray, I kept my patience. Alyssa didn’t need to feel unimportant to anyone else. We passed the bedrooms and bathroom and stopped at the end of the hall. She opened the door to the bonus room and gestured with a suggestive up-tick of her head. “There.”
My gaze followed her line of sight into the room and over to the floor-to-ceiling window. Gray stood with her back to us, facing the window.
Too unbelievable to be true, I wouldn’t trust the sight in front of me. “Gray?”
She turned my way; her sparkling eyes found mine. “Daniel.”
We both eased toward each other until we met in the middle of the room. She watched timidly for my reaction.
A flood of emotions took me. I exhaled in relief and elation. “I can’t believe you’re here,” I said, just before pulling her to my chest.
Alyssa eased the door shut behind us.
That ache in my chest grew stronger in those moments I held her in my embrace. My hands grasped the back of her shirt and pressed into her. I felt her hands run up my back and cling to my shoulders. Our desperate hold on each other continued an immeasurable length of time, until my heart slowed and I forced myself to loosen the grip I had on her.
“Are you all right?” I pulled back to give her face and body a once-over. Then I grabbed her hands and touched her fingers to my lips. A large bandage covered the side of her right hand. “Your hand?” A grumble roared from me. “Did Kevin—”
“No.”
Recollection hit, and I remembered the blood I’d seen in the sink. “The mirror,” I said softly.
Her eyes narrowed in perplexity. “You were there?”
I nodded and brushed a hand down her cheek when I spotted the hesitance in her eyes. “It’s okay…I’m just glad you’re okay.”
Slipping her arms under mine, she placed her head on my chest. I held her in silence, breathing her in, giving us both time to feel each other again. Questions flooded my mind, but I kept them at bay. If talking pushed her away, then I’d keep her next to me, quietly, and never let her go. The longer I held her, the more my emotions released and ran through me. My breathing labored; a lump formed in my throat. I’d almost lost this love, and the only thing I knew with certainty was that I’d never let that happen again.
“I’m sorry, Daniel,” she whispered in my ear.
A low, choking sound escaped me, taking me by surprise.
Gray pulled back and looked at me, tears puddled in her eyes. “Oh, God, I’m so sorry I did this to you…to us.”
I took her face in my hands. “You don’t have to apologize. Yes, you scared the hell out of me, and I’m happy you’re safe. But this…this is my doing, too. I wanted so badly to help you. I thought I had to do it my way so I pushed you too hard, too fast.”
She blinked, sending small drips of water down her cheeks. “Everything you did and said was because you love me. But I only saw darkness. I deemed myself a horrible person that didn’t deserve you anyway.”
“Don’t ever say that.” My stern words came with a decidedly firm grasp on her shoulders. “I’ll never judge you, and I’ll never push you again.” I narrowed my eyes on her. “That doesn’t mean I don’t think talking things out is important. Hell, it’s my livelihood. But it does mean that I’m here when you’re ready. I’ll always be right here, Gray.” I pressed my lips to hers, infusing her with all the passion my commitment to her held. Her lips parted for me, heat disseminating from her mouth into mine as our lips and tongues moved together.
After a moment, Gray’s hands grasped my arms. “I want you to know that no matter what, I never stopped loving you. That wasn’t what this was about.”
“I know,” I said. Then I felt my own eyes fill with liquid. “I was just so afraid you weren’t coming back.”
She took a deep breath while locking her gaze on mine. “A part of me always felt like running. In a way, my lies were me running. I ran from my mother’s death. I ran from what happened with Noah, and I ran from what my father told me. One way or another, I couldn’t face what I’d done…who I’d become.” Her hands slid to my cheeks. “But what I realized is that you…and Alyssa…have loved me through it all. You didn’t just love pieces of me. Because when you love someone, you love all of them...the whole and all the broken pieces.”
I took hold of her wrists as she held my face. “I’ve said this before, Gray, and I’ll keep saying it until you believe me: you are not broken. I got a taste of my world without you, and I never want that feeling again.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. Letting that downward spiral take hold didn’t change anything except make me understand what I was risking and how much pain I would cause you. No matter what I went through, you still needed my love, too. I was so damn selfish, letting myself get buried in my own pain.”
I let myself feel some relief, allowing a grin to slide across my mouth. “I do need you to love me.” I bent her head down and kissed her forehead. Her pain caused an irrational reaction, but her selflessness was what ultimately stopped her from continuing down that path. For that, I had faith in her strength and love for me.
“And I need you, Daniel. I know I have a long way to go, but I won’t do it alone...not without you.”
We both turned toward a scratching noise at the door. I strode over and opened it; Granger trotted in, followed by Alyssa.
“Sorry, I tried to keep him away.”
“It’s okay,” Gray said with a smile that warmed me. “I want you to stay with us.”
Alyssa gave me a sly grin like she’d pulled off a grand surprise.
“Did you enjoy leaving me hanging?” I asked her.
“Well, I did try to call you and tell you. Can I help it if you let your phone die?”
I turned my smile in Gray’s direction. “What I don’t understand is how you knew to come here and how you got here?”
“Just before my phone died, I got a text from Alyssa telling me she was here.”
Alyssa sat on the couch, pulling her knees up “And I told her what happened with my mom and that she better get her ass over here because I needed her.”
“I’d had my phone on silent until that moment.” Gray’s apologetic eyes watered again. “I’d been sitting in this park for hours, just thinking about all I’d been through. I realized I’d made a huge mistake. I was going to call you, and then I saw Alyssa’s text.”
I wrapped my arm around her shoulders as she spoke.
“I didn’t know what to do or how to fix it. I just knew I had to get back here as soon as possible.”
“Yeah, about that,” Alyssa said, looking at me. “One of you owes your sister sixty-eight bucks for cab fare.”
I chuckled as Gray leaned her head on my shoulder. “I can definitely handle that.”
EPILOGUE
--------------------------
Gray
Granger took off at lightning speed, wet sand flying up from his paws. He cut through the whitewash and pounced on the foam ball Alyssa had thrown for his retrie
val. She stood ankle deep in the water, wearing cut-off shorts and a bathing top. Granger continued to frolic in the waves, ignoring her calls to bring the toy. Daniel, who waited a few yards behind her, put his fingers to his lips and whistled. The dog’s ears perked up, and he went galloping back to the shore. I sat lazily back on the sand, watching the euphoric scene play out, the sun kissing my skin like a warm blanket.
It had been almost four months since that day I’d shown up at Rita’s house full of regret and determination. Of course, they’d all taken me back with open arms, but I needed to prove myself worthy…to them and to myself. In the beginning, I’d walked away from Daniel, intent on being my own hero. But it was their love and commitment that had saved me that day I’d almost thrown it all away. I’d spent every moment since then working toward a better life. My heart still hurt when I thought of Noah. That pain and regret wouldn’t easily fade, but I had to acknowledge it and learn to live with it in a way that didn’t destroy every other relationship I had. Accepting love had been my first step, the foundation of everything good in the world.
Alyssa chased Granger over to Daniel. She squealed when the dog shook his wet fur and doused her with seawater. She’d been staying with Rita since the day her mother took off. It turned out to be the perfect distraction for both of them while I returned to AA meetings and counseling with my father. I’d forgiven Becca for forcing him to tell me the truth, but he still struggled to get past it. I didn’t know if those two would make it, but I no longer made it a concern of mine. Rita had found out she was pregnant a few days after Elliot had left on his final tour. She experienced horrible morning sickness, and Alyssa made the sweetest of nursemaids.
I smiled as Daniel and Alyssa came back to our little picnic spot on the sand. Granger ignored my “no paws on the blanket” rule and decided to claim a spot for himself.
“Thanks a lot, fur-face,” Alyssa said, grabbing a tiny edge of the blanket to sit.
Daniel took the chair next to me and then set his hand atop of mine. His palm, cold from the water, still warmed me and my heart. He looked over at me, squinting against the sun, his midnight blue eyes piercing through the small windows of his lids. I’d never felt more loved and secure in all my life. It wasn’t just about loving someone. It was about learning to let them love you back—even the parts you couldn’t imagine deserved to be loved. I reached over, placing a small kiss on the side of his mouth.
“Jeez, really?” Alyssa said.
“Excuse me,” Daniel said with a mock stern voice. “I do believe I saw you do the same thing to Austin the other day.”
Austin had seen her through the end of the school year and helped her breeze through finals, despite the stress of her mother being gone. It turned out Alyssa’s trouble in school had less to do with her ability and more to do with her attitude. Starting her senior year on an academic high left her without the need of a tutor. But they continued to become friends, study together, and apparently more.
Alyssa’s mouth flew open, eyes forming giant circles. “You saw that?”
“I sure did.”
She gave him a head tilt and a dirty glare.
“I wasn’t spying. I just happened to be walking by.”
“Right.”
“But if he gets out of line, you better believe I’ll take care of it.”
Alyssa tried to hide her satisfied grin, turning her attention to the bag of sandwiches on the blanket behind her. She pulled out each individually wrapped sub and tossed one to me and one to Daniel.
As we dug into our lunch, Alyssa gave Granger a bone to keep him busy. “Good boy,” she said.
Then Daniel started grilling her about her plans for the future. I hadn’t thought to bring it up with her until then. Taking one day at a time tended to make you live in the moment.
“Are you thinking about college?” he asked her.
Her focus turned down to the sandwich on her lap. “Um…sort of.”
“Have you applied to any colleges yet?”
“No.”
“You still can,” I said, wanting to be a part of the conversation. “It’s the perfect time.”
“I don’t know…” She took a bite of her sandwich and gazed out toward the water.
“Why not?” I asked.
“I don’t really know how or where to start.”
Daniel and I looked at each other with sympathetic understanding. Even if her mother had stuck around, I doubted she’d have been guiding Alyssa into a successful future. I opened my mouth to offer her help, but Daniel jumped ahead of me.
“Alyssa, I’d be happy to help you apply to some colleges.”
Her head flipped back to us, her face beaming with excitement. “You would?”
“Of course. You’re a bright girl, and you’re extremely capable. I know of a lot of scholarships you could apply for. I’m sure you could qualify for financial aid, too.”
“Yeah, how could they not give money to the pathetic girl with no mother, right?”
Daniel and I cringed and paused. The intention of the conversation began to veer in the wrong direction.
“I’m sorry,” Alyssa said, catching herself. “Thank you for the offer, Daniel. I don’t want to put you out, though.”
“It’s not an imposition at all. In fact, I’d be very excited to work together and see what we can make happen for you.”
I reached out to rub his arm, so grateful to have such a caring and generous man in my life. He glanced over to me, and I gave him a questioning look. He nodded his affirmation, and Alyssa caught it.
“What?”
We both smiled uncontrollably.
“What are you guys smiling about? Did you win the freaking lottery or something? You’re going to create my own little scholarship, right? The Smart-Ass Teen Vagabond Award.” She threw a fist in the air. “I’ll take it. How much?”
“No, that’s not it,” Daniel said.
Alyssa turned in my direction with a creased forehead.
“Daniel and I are planning to move to Santa Barbara sometime next year.”
Her brows raised, but I saw distress in her eyes. “Oh.”
“We’ve talked about it quite a bit,” Daniel said, taking over. “As you know, Alyssa, it would be difficult at best for Gray and me to try to be together here. It’s a complicated situation.”
“And we really just want a fresh start somewhere new. So we don’t have to worry about anything.”
She nodded solemnly. “I understand. You two deserve to be happy.” She turned her attention to Granger, patting him on the head. “I’m glad for you.”
I glanced to Daniel with a knowing grin. “There’s just one more thing, Alyssa.”
Her eyes came to mine, but she left her hand on the dog.
“We want you to come with us.”
“What…what do you mean?”
“Daniel’s going to head out first, look for a place, and then work on setting up his practice. Then you and I can join him.”
“Really?” She wagged her head between me and Daniel, grinning from ear to ear.
We returned the gesture, but a moment later, her smile faded.
“Are you sure? You guys are starting a new life together. Why would you want some teenager in the middle of it? You’re supposed to be having babies and shit.”
“Who says we can’t have it all?”
I raised my eyebrows when Daniel glanced to me. We’d never once talked about children.
“The point is, Alyssa, that we can’t imagine not having you with us,” Daniel said, turning more serious. “I know we just talked about college, so that could change things. Maybe you’ll get accepted to a local college there, or like any other teen, you might leave home for college.”
“Right, but we always want you to think of our home as your home,” I added.
“And we’ll be close enough to visit Rita and the baby,” Daniel said.
“Exactly.”
Alyssa appeared stunned and emotional, an e
xpression I didn’t think I’d ever seen on her. “I don’t even know what to say. I can’t believe this. I mean, I love it at Rita’s, but I had sort of hoped…Well, I missed being with you, Gray, and now…wow, this is just freaking amazing. Thank you.”
We stayed until the sun dipped into the ocean and disappeared below the horizon.
Alyssa had plans with Austin that night. Daniel and I had a quiet dinner at his house. We cooked together, relaxed as an old married couple. Things were not perfect…yet. They just felt…right. I still caught those glances from Daniel, him checking me for some sign of reversion. I didn’t blame him for his lack of confidence. It would take time. And while Daniel didn’t ask me to cut Nathan from my life, I knew he thought it would be best for me. I sensed it was what he wanted, too. Nathan and I hadn’t spoken much since that final night, but I couldn’t turn my back on him when in the end he tried to make things right. Besides, where would I have been if those who cared about me had done the same thing?
As I pulled silverware out of the drawer, strong arms came around my waist.
“I loved seeing Alyssa so happy today,” he said quietly.
“Me too.” I twisted in his arms to face him. “And what about that ‘having it all’ comment when she mentioned babies?”
“Oh.” His eyes darted playfully to the side. “Did I presume too much?”
The idea of me as a mother did give me butterflies, both from fear and excitement.
“Well, you skipped a few steps in there, but we never did follow the rules.” I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck. “I actually like it when you presume.”
“Hmm.” He lifted his brows before he planted a kiss on my lips. “There’s potential in that.”
I giggled. “Oh yeah? What else have you got?”
Then his face grew serious.
“Gray, I look at you, and I do see it all: you, me, Alyssa, and someday…a baby. The love I feel for you is like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I want to capture it and savor it and never take it for granted. As long as I have you, there’s nothing we can’t do.”
Every word he said flowed through me in a channel straight to my heart and soul. I had the ultimate trust in the man I loved, and no matter what tragedies I’d been through or what else was to come, Daniel and his love would be my strength to face it all. “You do have me, Daniel. You have all of me, here, now, and forever.”
Liar Page 20
