“Oh god, Tracey, I’m so sorry,” I told her as my heart ached with sadness.
Christik glided into the room quietly. Moving past me; she softly sat on the bed right next to John and Tracey. None of us said a word as Christik’s hands began to glow their bright, white shimmering glow. She placed her right hand on Tracey’s trembling shoulder, and I could see her power flowing into my heartbroken friend.
As Tracey’s sobs and shaking settled, Christik placed her left glowing hand on John’s still form. John looked so peaceful as if he was just sleeping; his face looked so relaxed that he even appeared younger.
Tracey looked up from where she knelt, her eyes and mine were watching Christik’s glowing hand as it hovered a few inches away from John’s still chest. It was as if time stood still as we waited for Christik to say something, anything. We watched as her power flowed into John’s body and then appeared to flow back to Christik’s hand.
“I am afraid John's heart stopped beating, Tracey,” Christik said gently as she looked into Tracey’s waiting gaze, “There was nothing anyone could have done to stop this. It happened very quickly, and no one could have predicted it.”
“I could have done something if I’d have been here with him,” Tracey wailed as her emotions heightened again, “I know CPR, I could have got his heart going again!” She cried out.
Christik’s hand flowed bright in Tracey’s shoulder, her power helping to soothe Tracey’s broken heart and her guilt.
“Tracey, please trust me,” Christik said softly, “Your husband's body formed a blood clot for some unknown reason, which moved into his heart. There was nothing that you could have done.”
I could feel strong emotions coming from behind me, feelings of despair and frustration. When I turned my head to look behind me, Akhenaten was stood in the doorway to the bedroom, looking as if he didn’t know what to do with himself. The golden angel was conflicted. I could feel his need to hold and comfort Tracey, but I could also feel his resignation. He knew that now wasn’t the time.
Akhenaten's feelings of love towards Tracey had grown, but he was obviously old enough and experienced enough to know that she would need time to grieve for the husband who she still loved, even if it was a more platonic friendship love. I gave Akhenaten a knowing and sympathetic smile. I understood what a difficult situation he’d found himself in, and I hoped that he felt my compassion.
Christik’s hands were beginning to dim as I looked back towards her, and as Tracey continued to sob quietly, Christik stood back up.
“Tracey needs you more than me at this time,” Christik said as her peacock sapphire eyes looked deeply into mine.
I nodded as she passed me, making her way to the cabin’s main room. Kneeling down next to my distraught friend, I took Tracey into my arms, and I held her tightly. Her body shuddered within my grasp as her tears flowed freely.
“I should have stayed, Mel,” she sobbed, “I should have been here.”
You saw John’s face Tracey, he passed away at peace,” I soothed. “He knew you loved him, and I know he loved you, and he certainly wouldn’t want you torturing yourself with unwarranted guilt,” I added.
“The angels could have saved him, if I’d have been here,” Tracey stated as if trying to convince herself that her statement was true.
I stroked her back as I held her tightly.
“You would have been sleeping too, Tracey,” I told her, “You wouldn’t have known it was happening, even if you had been here.”
I could feel her rationalizing my words as I held her, and her body began to slump as she admitted to herself that I was right. The angels and elders were patient as I consoled my friend. None of them saying a word. It wasn’t until I heard James’ voice that I started to release Tracey from my arms. I knew that the angels couldn’t move John until Tracey left the bedroom. James’ voice was full of worry and concern.
“Where are they?” I heard him ask the angels as he burst into the cabin.
“They are in the bedroom, James,” Christik replied calmly.
Tracey and I rose from the floor as James entered the bedroom. I could feel his protectiveness towards not only myself but our friends as well. Within moments, James had his arms wrapped around both of us.
“I’m so sorry, Tracey,” James said softly into Tracey’s short curly hair.
I could feel Tracey nodding her head at his words.
“Let’s get you to our cabin,” he told her.
James was always calm and levelheaded in a crisis, and we let him lead us to the cabin that he’d shared with our kids while I’d been sleeping.
Christik, Akhenaten and the elders stayed behind, and I assumed they would move John once they knew what Tracey’s wishes were for his body.
James escorted us into the cabin, and it was a relief to be away from John’s lifeless body. Neither Tracey or I wanted to leave him, but I knew we had to eventually, and it would have only got worse if we had stayed longer.
Tracey sat herself down on the small couch, nestling her body on the corner. She brought her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them.
“I think we could do with some hot drinks, James,” I told my husband.
James nodded his head, and he left the room, I assumed to speak with Hulaz.
I sat next to Tracey, not knowing what to say to the woman who had lost everything, her home, her kids, and now her best friend and husband. I sat back in the couch and began to go over everything in my mind.
“I can’t believe this is happening, Mel,” Tracey said so softly I barely heard her. “I’m wondering what I did in a previous life to deserve all this.”
I took a slow deep breath to try and control my own feelings of frustration and sorrow.
“I’ve always believed that everything happens for a reason Tracey,” I told her gently. “John is with your children now, and maybe that was what was supposed to happen.”
Tracey looked up at my words as if realization had hit, her eyes suddenly wide with hope.
“You think that’s true?” She asked with hope, “that John is now with Martin and Ashley?”
I did believe it.
“Yes, Tracey, I do,” I told her confidently.
As soon as I spoke the words, Tracey slid from the corner of the couch, back into my arms, and I let her cry her pain away as I waited for James to come back.
When James and Hulaz arrived with a stone tray of honey, coffee and water, Tracey and I were still in the same position. Tracey was no longer crying, but both of our faces were still damp. As James laid the tray on the small table in front of us, Hulaz used her power to move two more chairs next to it.
It felt good holding the coffee between my hands, feeling the heat soak into my palms and fingers. Tracey had sat herself up and was back in her previous position, now hugging her coffee cup between her own trembling hands.
“Had you and John ever discussed what you would both want, should either of you pass away, Tracey?” James asked, delicately.
I couldn’t believe he was asking the question so soon, but then; we didn’t have anywhere to put John's body respectfully for any decent length of time. It was a tough question for James to ask but necessary.
“Tracey’s eyes were red and puffy when she looked up and held James’ gaze. James’ eyes were full of compassion and empathy.
“Yes, we talked about it years ago when we lost John’s mom,” Tracey said as her lips trembled.
“What did John say he wanted?” James asked.
“He wanted to be cremated and have his ashes buried with a tree planted on top,” Tracey answered, her voice breaking with emotion.
“Did he say where he’d like his ashes buried, Tracey?” I asked softly.
“Next to a beach because we liked to do beach walks with our twins and our dog,” Tracey said.
James discreetly touched the com on his wrist as he reached for his coffee. ‘I don’t think she should be alone for now, Mel’ I heard in my mind as he loo
ked at me. ‘I agree, she can stay with us on the main craft,’ I replied. ‘Me and the kids can stay here in the cabin for a few days,’ James said as he gave me a loving smile. ‘You ladies can rally around her then. I’ll let the girls know,’ I told him, ‘I love you, baby.’
James gave me a knowing and loving smile before his attention turned back to Tracey.
“Tracey, Hulaz and Mel are going to take you to the main craft. You’re going to stay with Mel if that’s ok with you,” James stated.
All Tracey was capable of doing was nodding her head in agreement. I saw James touch his com again as I sipped at my coffee. When I went to place my cup back on the stone tray; Hulaz walked into the room with Akhenaten.
“We will take you back now,” Hulaz said kindly.
The moment Akhenaten laid his eyes on Tracey, his body’s white shimmer glowed a little brighter. As he was older and more experienced than most of the angels, he obviously had a lot more control over his emotions than Nalik. I could see the concentration on his handsome, chiseled face that he was reining his affection in. His body started to dim back down as I watched.
When Christik entered, I knew it was time. James took the arm of Hulaz, I reached for Christik’s arm, and Akhenaten gently took Tracey’s hand in his. The moment Akhenaten made contact with Tracey’s skin; blue electric sparks burst from their touch. Tracey’s eyes looked wide in surprise as she turned her attention to Akhenaten.
The golden angel looked down on Tracey with understanding as he softly held her trembling hand.
“I can be ...just a friend to you,” he told her quietly.
Tracey was so stunned by the reality of everything that had recently happened, that all she was capable of was a nod of her head. Akhenaten was the first to disappear with Tracey, then Hulaz flitted with James, and Christik and I were the last to leave the cabin.
When we arrived at our room inside the main craft, Trudy and Mimi were waiting for us. James walked over to me, and he took me in his arms.
“You’ve got this, baby, but you only have to call me, and I’ll come back, ok,” James said quietly next to my ear.
“Thank you,” I replied. “I love you, James,” I added with all the love in my being.
Losing someone you know always seemed to give you a better appreciation of those who were still in your life. And after everything we’d been through and now losing John, our good friend, my appreciation of my family and friends was growing again.
James walked over to Akhenaten, who was still staring at Tracey, and he touched the angel’s forearm.
“Could you take me to my kids please,” James asked, breaking the angel’s concentration.
Akhenaten broke his gaze as if he’d been in a deep daydream. After nodding at James, they both disappeared, leaving us ladies alone with Hulaz and Christik. I assumed because Evest and Lindaz stayed at the holding structure, that they had offered to transport John’s body, allowing Christik to be with us, her friends.
The rest of the day and through the night was a mix of emotions with all of us listening to tales of John’s life, the good, the bad and the funny. We all knew that Tracey needed to talk about John and begin her grieving process. Sometimes, we listened quietly, and sometimes, we cried, especially when she was talking about her cancer. Sometimes, we laughed so hard that we cried and nearly peed ourselves because of the funnier stories Tracey told us.
It was as if we were all riding Tracey’s emotional rollercoaster. By the early hours of the next morning, we were all asleep. Tracey and Mimi had fallen asleep on my bed. Trudy and I had taken two of the kids’ beds, and the two angels slept quietly in the seating area in the comfy chairs.
None of us woke until late morning when Lindaz arrived with a tray of drinks and food. I think we were all grateful for the refreshments, and it wasn’t long before we were all tucking in. Hulaz and Christik looked as perfect as ever, with their beautiful shimming hair in place and their sparkling sapphire eyes. On the other hand, we humans looked like we’d all been through an assault course. Our hair was all over the place, and our eyes were pink and puffy from all the crying and laughing.
“I understand the ways of humans,” Lindaz said to us all as we ate and drank. “We would like to help you cremate and honor your husband, Tracey.”
“Thank you, Lindaz, I’d appreciate your help,” Tracey replied with a crack in her voice.
“I am afraid that, due to the Marilians’ imminent arrival, we do not have the luxury of time,” the elder stated softly.
We all found ourselves nodding in understanding, and we all knew that as harsh as that was, she was right. We didn’t have the luxury of taking our time. The Marilians could arrive anytime, and we needed to honor John quickly, but with the utmost respect that he truly deserved.
“I know you’re right, Lindaz,” Tracey told her. “I’ve never been one to muck around anyway. I’d like to get it over with, so John’s ashes are safe.”
“We will make preparations for you, Tracey, contact me through your com to tell me what you would like us to do,” Lindaz told her.
Lindaz and the angels graciously left my room, leaving us girls alone, and I was the first into the shower, desperately needing to freshen up. When I came out of the bathroom, Mimi and Trudy were nowhere to be seen. Tracey was sat on one of the chairs while staring at the round window, and her hand was touching her com around her neck.
“Are you doing ok?” I asked quietly, not wanting to make her jump.
“I’m doing ok, I think,” she said with tear-filled eyes. “I was just telling Lindaz what John would have wanted. I’m glad she offered to sort it out for me because I don’t think I’m capable right now,” Tracey added.
“I don’t think I’d be capable either, if I were in your situation, honey,” I told her honestly.
Tracey jumped from her seat and walked toward me.
“Thank you for being such a good friend, Mel,” she said, with so much feeling it nearly brought me to tears again.
“You are so very welcome, Tracey,” I told her sincerely.
Tracey released me, and she headed for the bathroom.
“The girls are getting showers; they’ll be out in a few minutes,” Tracey said before disappearing into the bathroom.
Just as my butt touched the seat of the chair next to the window, Hulaz reappeared with some drinks and breakfast. She sat down next to me, and we small talked until all the others had finished getting ready. It was nice to shoot the breeze and discuss less heartbreaking topics. Before long, the others had joined us, and we were all looking more human again.
As we finished our food, Hulaz suddenly stood up with concentration all over her face for a moment, before looking down to us.
“It is time,” she said, “the elders and the others are ready, Tracey.”
Tracey’s face was one of utter surprise.
“Knock me sideways, that was quick,” she squeaked.
We were all stunned at how quickly John’s cremation had been organized, but these were ancient angels we were dealing with, and with their power, they could do or organize anything in a flash.
“Are you ok to do this, Tracey?” I asked nervously. “I can always tell them that you aren’t ready.”
“Yes, I’m ok. I want to get it done before the Marilians can mess it up,” Tracey said bluntly.
“We will take a small craft to the location. We do not want you all to be shivering when we arrive,” Hulaz said with a smile.
The quick journey in the craft was a quiet one. None of us felt like talking much, and even though I’d eaten some breakfast, my stomach was churning as if I’d not eaten for days. I supposed it was nervous stress that I was feeling. Let’s face it; no one wants to say a permanent goodbye to someone they cared for or loved.
We landed softly in a beautiful area near some rolling sand dunes and a stunning beach. The sky was clear and blue, and the sun was making the waves glisten before they turned white and lapped at the golden sand. We all
looked and admired the scene as we disembarked the small craft. It was heavenly to feel the sun on our faces while listening to the waves crash.
As we glanced around, we all became aware of a group of people standing in the nearest meadow. They were quietly talking between themselves and in front of them was a circle of angels, which included the elders and our angel friends.
In the center of the angel’s circle was John, dressed in white trousers and smock. He was laid on top of a beautifully carved, pale-colored wooden altar, and over his still form was a thin golden sheet, thin enough where John’s features could still be seen.
Chapter 13
The lush wild grass was soft on our feet as we were walking towards them all. Tracey walked with purpose, and I could tell she was trying to be strong. All eyes were on her as she walked up to our group of friends, coming to a halt before them. One by one, everyone took turns to say how sorry they were and to give her a hug. It was clear how grateful Tracey felt to have them all there and how much she was liked and loved.
After all the hugs and condolences were finished, Tracey turned towards the circle of angels, and her eyes widened at the sight of John’s motionless body. James and I automatically flanked Tracey, and we both took her hands in ours.
The angels and elders looked beautiful stood in their circle with the sun making their shimmering hair glisten even more than usual. Lindaz, Evest and Akhenaten were either side of Christik, who was obviously going to officiate the ceremony. Our other angel friends in the circle all looked just as saddened as the rest of us, and when Tracey’s eyes met theirs, they all gave her a knowing sad smile.
Christik began to raise her arms to waist height with her palms facing the blue sky. One by one, the elders and angels followed suit before Christik began to speak.
“Losing one of our own is losing part of ourselves,” Christik said with reverence. “John was a part of us and earth. He gave respect, strength and purpose to everyone he met.”
Christik looked to Tracey, and with a wave of Christik’s hand, we were all suddenly holding flowers of various kinds. Tracey looked down at the sprig of beautiful blue orchids she now held in her hand, and she began to walk towards her husband’s still body.
The Marilians Page 14
