by Haley Cass
“It is,” she explained, “My grandmother doesn’t like anyone; when it comes to people romantically involved in her grandchildren’s lives, she likes you the most. Her liking you the most just also entails her being critical. She never willingly invites Dean to lunch,” she reminded her, and it was all the honest truth.
Clearly the situations were miles different.
She knew that Sutton didn’t necessarily see it, but Charlotte knew that her grandmother had started to be won over by Sutton bit by bit after the first year.
After Sutton had proven time and time again that she wasn’t backing down, after she’d grown more poised in the face of the media, after she’d
weathered a few lunches with Elizabeth and hadn’t wilted like the wallflower her grandmother expected her to be.
There was this warm feeling inside of her at that, deep in the pit of her stomach. It was pride in Sutton, partially. Because God only knew that it took someone special to handle her grandmother, and she’d known how special Sutton was from the very beginning, but it didn’t make the reminders of it any less wondrous.
But it was that… that despite Charlotte’s long hours and oftentimes borderline obsession with work, her critically demanding grandmother, and the fact that everything was so public, Sutton never wavered. She was always solidly by Charlotte’s side, and she was so utterly lovely that –
Charlotte wanted to give her everything back, in spades. Sutton had, for all intents and purposes, won over her grandmother, which made Charlotte feel so incredibly happy.
And she wanted to win over Katherine, too, if for no other reason than for Sutton to know that her mother, whose guidance, support, and approval meant the world to her, approved of Charlotte, too.
There was another reason, of course, being that Charlotte could not stand the fact that her girlfriend’s mother disliked her. She didn’t mind being disliked by certain people. Political rivals, those who foundationally opposed what she stood for and what she was fighting for – they could go to all hell. Sometimes she even reveled in their disdain.
But when it came to other people, there was the drive in her that she couldn’t get rid of to win them over. Which was typically just fine, because typically Charlotte didn’t have trouble winning anyone over!
Was it so wrong to want the woman she was in love with’s mother to like her?
The thought made her groan, dropping her head back and landing on Sutton’s shoulder, the stress and frustration she only allowed herself to openly feel with Sutton on display. “I just don’t understand it.”
Her voice held an exasperation edge that she didn’t even like to hear from herself, before she pushed forward to spin and face her girlfriend.
Sutton’s face was a vision of sympathy, as she ran her hand up Charlotte’s spine. “What?”
“Why doesn’t she like me?” She hated that those words even came out of her mouth, but she couldn’t help it. “Like, I understand her loving Jane.
She’s known her for almost ten years now and is the mother of her grandchild. But what about Chris?”
She knew Sutton was trying to hold back a laugh and she was barely doing a decent job. “What about Chris?”
“He lives in Manhattan, too! She sees me just as often – if not more –
than she sees him. He and Alex only just became official, after dating for years. And yet she loves him!” The whine in her voice was apparent and if she was talking to literally anyone else in the world it would have shamed her.
Sutton gave her a gentle smile. “Um. Well, I mean, Chris really doesn’t have anyone, you know? He’s sort of like this little lamb that my mom feels she needs to take care of.”
Charlotte considered it, and begrudged, “Fine. I don’t want to be a little lamb,” she grumbled, thinking she would take polite coolness above that. But still. She narrowed her eyes, knowing unequivocally that she had her next point in the bag, “Isla.”
The chuckle that broke from Sutton’s lips before she could stop it only spurred her on.
“She likes Isla! Isla, who swears more than anyone else I’ve ever heard and gave Ethan a knife last year for Christmas?” She challenged, tossing her hands in the air. “I mean, come on!”
Sutton was full-out laughing now, the laughter making her cheeks flush, her eyes sparkling, and it made Charlotte want to smile just watching her, even as much as she held onto her pout. “It’s not funny.”
Sutton managed to quell her laughter, but was still smiling widely at her, as she reached out to pull Charlotte even closer. “I love you.”
She moved against Sutton, pressing against her, looping her arms around Sutton’s neck. “I love you, too, which is why this isn’t funny.”
But a small smile tugged at her lips as Sutton continued to smile, ducking down to press their mouths together. Slowly, lightly at first, then a bit more insistent.
It wasn’t funny, but… it could not be funny while she lost herself in Sutton.
It was a couple of hours, a luxuriously languid heated making out with Sutton, and a dinner with all of the Spencer family full of those politely warm smiles from Katherine while seeing how she gave everyone else at the table the real thing, that found them cuddled up in the den, on the couch
in front of the fireplace, which happened to be Charlotte’s favorite place in the house.
Despite having forgotten her gift for Katherine, Charlotte was – for now, though she knew her discontent about the situation would return come morning – too content to care. She was comfortable and relaxed and so warm, sitting on one of these cushy couches, wrapped up in one of the blankets from Sutton’s bed that smelled so perfectly like her. As Sutton’s head was pillowed in her lap, and she lightly stroked her fingers through her hair.
The holidays, she’d learned with Sutton, for any of the other stressful moments, were good for this. For these soft, quiet times.
“Tell me more about your conference,” Sutton broke off from humming quietly along with the holiday music playing from her phone, her voice slow and lazy, the way it always got when she was cuddled and comfortable past eleven at night.
Charlotte shifted slightly, careful not to dislodge Sutton from where she rested against her, before blowing out a quiet, considering sigh. “I viscerally felt the way my grandmother has often described these conferences – that they go on forever when, if everyone was focused, we could have been finished in half the time.” Sutton hummed in half agreement and half amusement at Charlotte’s eyeroll, even if she couldn’t see it. “But, it was all right.”
She felt Sutton shake her head just a bit. “You said there was something you wanted to talk about from it? With me,” she clarified, and her voice was dipping into the low, slow rasp she got when she was sleepy.
It was actually one of Charlotte’s favorite sounds, the way Sutton’s voice curled over the words as they formed in her mind, and she wrestled against falling asleep.
“Mm,” she thought for a moment, slipping her hand under the neck of Sutton’s sweater, running her nails lightly over her shoulder blades. “The first thing is that I finally got some backing for the youth shelter proposal I’ve been trying to push through.”
She paused for a moment, weighing the thoughts that had been constantly in the back of her mind since she’d heard them a few days ago, before she murmured, “The second is that I found out that Mathew Rowan isn’t running for re-election as Governor because of his health; he’s announcing it in less than a month.”
She drew her hand up, massaging over the back of Sutton’s neck, enjoying the feeling of her warmth so close. “Which means there will be a serious election next year.”
“And I know it’s a few years sooner than I planned to run for anything again, but I can’t help this feeling that – I want it. It worked before, after all, to get into the House. Running a bit earlier than I had planned, and look at us now.” She smiled before she took in a deep breath and held it, thinking over all of the possibilities and outc
omes and options.
“So, I think I want to do it. I think I’m ready for the race.” At the very least, more experience under her belt could only be a good thing.
Her eyebrows drew together, though, the negatives of a campaign coming to mind. “But we need to talk, first. Obviously, a campaign is –
trying. The hours and the work and the publicity is going to be even more of a circus than it was the last time.” And even though the dust had certainly settled in the past couple of years, this would just kick it all up again.
Brown eyes drifted down to watch her own hand as she toyed with the hair on the nape of Sutton’s neck. “I need to consider your time constraints, with the courses you’re taking on. And if you’re ready, yet, for a big election, together,” she caught herself just voicing her thoughts as they came to mind, rambling almost exactly like Sutton. “We have some time to think about it and talk it over, of course. I want you to take your time with this. Well, as much time as we have to decide, anyway. If right now isn’t good for you, then we’ll wait until the next election. Okay, darling?”
She stroked her fingers slowly through Sutton’s hair as she looked down after a few beats of silence went by.
And found bright blue eyes closed, her breathing coming softly, with her fingers curled lightly into the blanket just under Charlotte’s thigh.
The firelight moved gently over Sutton’s features, and she shook her head slightly, a smile tugging at her lips as she gently traced her fingertips over Sutton’s forehead, then ever so lightly down her nose, “So beautiful,”
she whispered to herself, hearing her own wistfulness, before she settled back into the couch, her eyes growing heavy with the warmth around her and Sutton against her.
She wasn’t surprised to be alone when she woke up the next morning.
They’d moved from the den to Sutton’s room after she herself had dozed off for a few minutes – and by the time they’d gone into Sutton’s old room,
they’d both woken up enough to make up for the two weeks in which they hadn’t been together.
And despite the fact that they’d been tangled up in one another until nearly three in the morning, it was typical for Sutton to be awake before eight the next morning. Especially on holidays, when her entire family full of morning people were also already awake.
It was also typical for Sutton to tiptoe around and let Charlotte sleep for as long as she possibly could, even when Charlotte wouldn’t have minded getting up.
Still, it was just after nine and she knew, as it was the day before Christmas Eve, that the Spencers and their significant others would be engaged in annual holiday snowball warfare. She, having never been one who enjoyed even gym class let alone… that, but especially as someone who would rather not be out in the cold for any extended amount of time, gave Sutton her ideas for strategizing a win for her team, and would remain indoors, abstaining from the fight at hand.
She wrapped the throw blanket that she knew Sutton had tucked around her before she’d gotten up over her shoulders, rubbing at her still slightly bleary eyes as she made her way down into the kitchen.
After some coffee and checking her work email, she figured she would probably align her schedule in time for Sutton to come in from snowball warfare and they could shower together.
And she nearly groaned when, as she walked through the doorway into the kitchen, she realized she was not as alone as she’d thought.
She’d only pulled her hair up into a tangled, curling bun without even brushing it first, wearing Sutton’s sweatpants that she frequently stole at home and had to curl at the waist so that they didn’t drag on the floor, and was looking generally as un-put-together as anyone who was not her girlfriend ever saw her.
And of course, this would be the only morning she’d ever spent in the Spencer home where Katherine was both home after eight in the morning and wasn’t upstairs in her writing office.
It wasn’t as though Charlotte dressed up on typical days spent at Sutton’s family’s home. But unless it was a rare morning when everyone else was already up and about and busy, she generally always showered and dressed before she saw anyone who wasn’t Sutton. No matter who you were with, she knew, the appearance you gave off mattered.
She’d gleaned from her own powers of observation that Katherine always left the house bright and early to run any errands she had to do, or took the time to get to work. And there were times where she’d set up shop at the breakfast nook in the kitchen, but those times had always, in the past, been in the evening. And those were times that she’d often welcome interruptions or input from her family. Charlotte’s input on her writing had never been something she’d asked for.
As it was, Charlotte took a breath and stood up straight; she certainly wouldn’t hide from Katherine, as she didn’t hide from anyone. And it was too late to turn without looking odd.
“Good morning, Charlotte,” Katherine’s expected greeting came.
Only… Charlotte gave her a small smile, receiving one in return – and her mind may have been playing tricks on her, because it seemed a modicum warmer than the one she typically got?
“Good morning,” she echoed curiously, padding over to the coffee maker. When Katherine didn’t say anything, Charlotte bit back a sigh; she supposed she had been reading into it. “I’ll be quick, I don’t want to disturb you.”
She poured her coffee into a mug, only pausing slightly when she saw from the window that she had been right, and it was snowball warfare time.
The Spencers were spread out through the visible yard, and their home bases were already built and fortified – and she saw that Sutton’s had a trench dug off to the side of hers, which had been Charlotte’s suggestion to hide in – and it made her smile indulgently.
It was then that Katherine cleared her throat. “Actually, I’ve been hoping to catch a moment with you, if you wouldn’t mind having a seat.”
Shock raced through her, because never once in three years had Katherine actually seemed to want to spend much time with her. She wasn’t sure whether or not to feel excitement or trepidation, and instead remained on the fence, as she cradled her mug and moved to join her. “Of course. Is there something on your mind?”
She vaguely wondered if somehow Katherine knew she’d left her Christmas present at home. Truly, she had no idea what she could want to talk about, and she wracked her brain. Three years, three Christmases, dozens of trips Kate had taken to Manhattan, sporadic times Charlotte had joined Sutton on smaller trips to Boston… and not once had she expressed
interest in having genuine conversation with Charlotte that was beyond perfunctory.
“Still not one for the cold?” Katherine asked, a small conspiratorial grin that had never been directed at her was on her mouth, as she gestured at the blanket pulled around Charlotte.
And she found herself tugging it closer, a surprised grin mirroring back. “Yes, I’m sorry to say, I doubt I’ll ever find myself wanting to have a snowball fight.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that. I’ve gotten used to the weather, but I do prefer the indoors during these winter months, especially. Trust that I certainly did not play many snowball fights with the children.”
Charlotte cautioned a smile, despite the fact that she’d heard many stories of Katherine putting up with the cold in order to walk through the trails with her children and even play with them in the snow. “I’m sure I’ve heard some tales to the contrary. Sutton’s told me many about what adventures you would think up for them.”
Her voice was measured, casual, even as her mind still wondering what this was about.
Before Katherine sighed and the smile on her face dropped a bit as she tapped her fingers against her own mug of what Charlotte was sure was tea.
“I love all of my children more than life itself.”
It was far from what Charlotte had been expecting her to say and she blinked for a moment, getting into the right headspace.
“Yes,” s
he nodded. “I think anyone who has ever seen you with them could see that.”
It brought a ghost of a smile back to Katherine’s face, as she tilted her head as if to say touché. “I would do anything for all of them. Maybe because my own mother died so young, I’ve never taken my chance to be a mom for granted. To know them all as individual people. Which also means that I know very well what I truly believe they need in a partner,” she paused, looking up across the kitchen for a moment as if searching for words.
“Alex, for instance. Has always needed to march to the beat to her own drummer. To push harder, be stronger, tougher than anyone who challenged her. And for her to truly thrive, she would need to find someone who understood that, who would challenge her but understand that she needs independence. Chris so clearly knows that. I’ve never doubted it for a
second,” she turned then, eyes no longer searching for the words. “And Sutton… my Sutton, has always been a romantic. Big hearted, and willing to strike out in search for her own purpose. Which means she’s always opened her heart entirely to those she’s fallen for. She can devote herself so much to someone that I’m worried she’d forget herself, with the wrong partner.” Those blue eyes landed on her, as if appraising her on the spot.
“And she’s never fallen for anyone the way she has for you.”
Ah.
Charlotte took the words in, feeling pinned down by them, by the utter knowing conviction in her tone, and she narrowed her eyes in defense.
“Sutton does have the biggest heart.” She acknowledged, because it was so true, and she got to revel in it every day. “And I know I don’t have the same quality. But I do love her.”
It was a promise she made with conviction, because it was true. She wouldn’t dare say she possessed the same kind of open heart that Sutton did, but she knew that no one had ever made hers full in the way that Sutton had.
And perhaps, then, if her devotion to Sutton was what had kept Katherine from accepting her, then maybe they could resolve this once and for all.
