He dipped his head in acknowledgement though his thoughts weren’t on work. The same feminine fragrance he’d noticed as she ducked under his arm at the bakery followed him into his office. Now his mind scrambled to find a way to spend more time with her. Too bad she didn’t want a job. His receptionist intended to leave and care for an ailing mother at the end of the year. Besides, if Madeleine channeled any of the perfectionist traits of his accountant, she’d prefer order. He glanced at her perfectly groomed nails with a clear pink blush.
Best he concentrate on getting a date, not hiring her. Surely, she’d feel sorry for a one-armed vet and say yes to anything he offered. That is if she didn’t resent him being alive. “Have you had lunch yet? I’ll take you for a bite to eat in thanks for this.” He held up the check with the artificial hand. Damn. Why must he bait her into showing revulsion toward the gesture? He had a real hand in which to hold the check. That one horrible dating experience made him push for a reaction before he made any overtures for a real date, that’s why. See if any shock remained after observing the hand last Saturday. Madeleine’s poker face made her a hard read.
“Thank you, but I’ve got to get back. I usually eat at my desk.” Again, she dug into her cavern of a purse and pulled out ten addressed white envelopes paper clipped to ornaments from his tree. “These are notes for each guy.”
His jaw went slack. A more thorough look at the check saw two-hundred dollars not twenty written there. “How did you get those names? Crystal didn’t—” He pushed to his feet.
“No, no. Sit. Nothing like that. I stopped by on my way to work this morning and picked nine more off the tree. I was in and out before anyone could catch me.” She gave him a shy grin. “I did the cards yesterday at home and then added the names this morning.”
“But—”
“No buts, Jess. I decide what I donate not you. Sorry to be so blunt.” She lowered her eyes.
Here was a pleasant surprise. He suspected Madeline’s quiet demeanor by no means covered a wimpy woman. It made him crave to learn about every surprise that lurked beneath her calm exterior. Open them like presents on Christmas morning. Since he stood behind his desk, looming tall and threatening, he decided to be gracious and sit as she had suggested. “Thank you. That’s very kind of you.”
“It’s the least I can do. My husband served in Iraq.”
“I know.” He held her steady gaze.
“Danny was killed.”
“I know.” Jess broke their eye contact to flick a glance at her suddenly parted lips. Well, there you have it. She was surprised he knew about Danny’s death and thought it would shock him but it backfired. Emotion closed her throat as she lowered her eyes to stare into her lap. He swallowed the lump in his own throat, recognizing he and Madeleine weren’t a whole lot different. Each tried to flush out the other’s insecurities and, on his part, any squeamish disgust she might harbor toward his missing arm. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too.”
Jess’s mind raced. Was this how survivors of war managed foreplay? By challenging the other with their baggage before they got brave enough to take a chance. Share a cup of coffee or a simple lunch. In his case, it seemed to be working. He not only wanted a date, he wanted to kiss her and hold her close to comfort her. Protect her from the harsh realities of life.
His gaze fell to the full bottom lip she bit down hard on to keep the tremble at bay. Danny had been gone almost two years yet she still hadn’t accepted the loss. His old demons made a smothering swoop and rattled his confidence. Would one arm hold her close enough to erase her pain when all her memories involved two?
She cleared her throat. “I should go.”
So much for a fresh start. He nodded. Enough damage had volleyed between them. He rose when she stood and gave him a weak smile. “I remember you now, Jess. You were two years ahead of me. I looked you up on the computer last night on Lincoln High’s alumni site,” she confessed then turned to leave.
“Madeleine. Hold up.” Jess rushed around his desk into the main office almost emptied for lunch. Nancy, the receptionist leaving at the end of the year, still remained. Madeline’s hands were on the front door by the time he made it into the cramped lobby. She turned to face him square. No screamed from every inch of her pale face before he could even ask his question. He forged on not knowing what drove him headlong into rejection. “I’m involved in a support group for injured vets. We’re having a Christmas party Saturday night. Would you like to go with me?”
Pink bloomed across her colorless cheeks as her jaw dropped. It made him wish he could pull it back. Obviously, he’d misjudged her. His first instincts were accurate. He represented everything she tried to forget. He had trapped her, but he’d be damned if he would feel regret for a sincere invite made in a moment of impulse.
“I’ve not really dated since...well, you know.”
Yeah. He knew. Since the day you stopped feeling whole. He’d talked to many a war widow but this one carried her love tight to her heart with a roll of barbed wire around it, unwilling to chance further hurt. “Think about it. I’ll give you a call. Tomorrow?”
“That won’t be necessary. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Think about it,” he called after her. “I’ll call.”
He stood in the lobby unable to take his eyes off her as she hurried inside her tiny car. He worried it wasn’t safe on the slippery roads. The windshield wipers mocked him with a capable sweep to remove new fallen snow, revealing her face pinched into a frown. Seeing him wait for her to drive off, she waved, then disappeared down the road.
Logic spun in his brain. A hand wave wasn’t “yes” but it wasn’t “no” either. He turned to go inside, nearly toppling the tree. When would this stop? His ears heard the rustle and scrape of the stand against tile floor. He caught the tree and uprighted the beast before it crashed to the floor. Would he ever get used to bumping into objects he couldn’t feel? And more important was one arm strong enough to hold and protect a woman for a lifetime?
Madeleine leapt to the forefront as being the first female who made him want to find out. She had managed to catch his eye in high school. Unfortunately, her sights were firmly set on Danny, and Jess didn’t mess with another man’s woman. Even more distasteful was the idea of wrestling her from a dead man’s arms.
Jess sat at his desk and stared where her Mini Cooper left small tire tracks. He wondered if unfortunate circumstances were giving him the chance he never had in high school. The intensity he felt toward a woman he didn’t really know baffled him. He longed to hold her close. Tell her he understood her pain. Make love until she only saw his face. He swiveled around to face his desk. “Best work on getting a date, Romeo.”
He laughed at how far ahead of the game his little brain made his big brain jump. Sex hadn’t been a top priority of late. Keeping his father’s business running smooth after his sudden death took all his energies. He eyed the red light blinking on his phone and acknowledged Nancy, who stuck her head around his doorframe. “Rick from R&J is on the line.”
He gave her a head nod. “Rick, what can I do for you?”
****
Christmas spirit filled the VFW hall with its twinkling Christmas tree, decorated tables, happy voices, and Christmas music wafting over the gathering crowd. Thanks to a jovial DJ dressed like a hip Santa.
This was a dress-up affair. The men wore everything from suits, like Jess, to nice slacks, shirt and tie, to the occasional pair of jeans and tee. All the women wore nice dresses or slacks outfits. Madeleine opted for the latter. Her outfit consisted of a glitzy silk multi-colored brocade jacket over black dress slacks. She even wore high heels for the first time in ages in spite of icy sidewalks that made her cling to Jess’s steady arm.
When Jess took their coats, her gaze darted around the room. She regretted letting Grams and her mom convince her this party would be good for her. Especially since she’d been unable to form a coherent thought since he picked her up, or quel
l the churn of anxiety in her stomach. She had entered the VFW hall not knowing what to expect or how to loosen up. Thoughts of Danny’s mangled body dominated her fears. A body too damaged to view. Would every injured vet send her deep inside her private hell?
Her immediate fears were validated. How do you have fun in a room filled with amputees in wheel chairs, leaning on crutches and other obvious injuries without breaking down and crying? Of course, she’d only spotted a couple such severe cases when Jess seemed to notice her rigid posture.
“You okay?” His hand rested warm at the small of her back, sending reassurance to her very bones. She couldn’t remember the last time someone stood at her side lending male protection and support. Okay, Grams and her parents. Her friends. All female. But it was Jess’s strong presence making her realize how much she missed the zing of attraction with the opposite sex. It anchored her to another human being, a temporary stability she appreciated, so she didn’t have to be alone and adrift in a crowd.
He pulled her closer in a show of possession. However, she saw dark uncertainty in his eyes. He gave her a tentative lopsided grin. Did he realize how sexy it made him? He tilted his head near her ear and brushed away a dark curl from her neck with warm fingertips, sliding his hand down her spine to rest again at the small of her back. Pinpoints of pleasure trailed his touch. “Relax, Madeleine. These guys are great.”
“And girls.” Her gaze settled on a beautiful one-legged woman dressed in stylish aqua chiffon. Her cocoa-colored skin and extreme short hair framed an oval face alive with a wide smile of white teeth. She stood with the assistance of arm crutches and a metal leg decorated at the ankle with a delicate Christmas bow in colors to match her dress. A wheel chair hovered near, as did a short wiry black man. Husband? Boyfriend? Husband she decided upon catching a glint of sparkle from a wedding ring as the woman adjusted her weight on the crutches.
“That’s a very special girl to me. I’ll introduce you later,” Jess whispered and stuck out his hand to the man approaching. Chilly air replaced the heat of his hand, and she stiffened again. More introductions became necessary as several other men came to greet them. Each introduction helped set her at ease.
It didn’t take her long to see past the few badly injured men or women laughing and having a good time. Most had no sign of outward damage. But she understood that kind of trauma best. The kind no one sees.
“Hi, I’m Tamara.” Madeleine turned at the dull clicking sound crutches made against wood floor and a flurry of aqua came into view. “You must be Madeleine from Belmar Bakery. Love that place.”
“Thank you.” Madeleine beamed back a smile as warm as the one she was receiving. “How do you know my name?”
“Jess. He’s been flappin’ his jaw about you.” She leaned in to whisper while Jess remained occupied with the man next to him. Madeleine saw Jess send Tamara a silent warning with his flashing blue eyes. “He’s afraid I’m telling you he didn’t think you’d come. Love it when he’s wrong.” She turned her head to be sure Jess was still occupied. “Anyone here will tell you Tamara’s not shy about askin’ or tellin’, but Jess...man, you need a crowbar to get him to talk about his love life.”
Madeline grinned. “I’m hardly Jess’s love life.”
“You will be if he has any say.”
“No. We’re just friends. But thanks. I’m honored.” Honored and scared witless over tonight’s leap of faith. Okay, so Grams had pushed her off the ledge more than anyone. Nonetheless, tonight represented her first date since high school; the first anything with the opposite sex since becoming a widow one year, eleven months, and ten days ago.
That wasn’t all that scared her. Jess sent waves of awareness over her skin when he came near or so much as made a gentle touch with his hand or eyes. That alone sent her brain into deep freeze. She wasn’t ready for tingling attraction for anyone other than Danny. The wedding ring she still wore stated that fact. Any sexy thoughts about Jess could be banished if she simply let her thumb touch the gold band.
Admittedly, she did make the effort to remove the ring prior to the date. When half off, she decided to leave it on so Jess understood her presence meant friendship and nothing more. These thoughts helped her to relax and decide to have a good time.
The evening flew by but Madeleine noticed Jess never asked her to dance and wondered if the artificial arm might be the reason. Although he rarely left her side, he seemed adept at finding ways to be in deep conversation or inviting her back to the buffet table or getting a drink or something; anything but dance. She loved dancing. When a favorite slow number spun out over the room, she forced the issue. “Care to dance. I promise not to step on your toes.”
He tipped his beer to his lips to avoid an answer. When she let her hand rest on the prosthetic arm, he stiffened with a quick reply, “Next time. There’s a guy over there I need to catch before he leaves.” He took off in the direction he pointed the beer bottle where a bent elderly man shrugged into a jacket held by his wife.
The night had gone well until that point. Alone for the first time since arriving, she glanced around the room. Tamara waved her over to the table where she sat in her wheel chair. “Finally,” she said as Madeleine approached. “Girl talk.”
“Love the color of your dress.” Madeleine pulled out a folding chair and settled next to Tamara.
“Thank you. It reminds me of the waters around the Middle East. Incredible color.”
“What did you do in the military?”
“Special Ops. Army.”
“Really. How brave of you.”
“Uh-huh.” She pushed out a laugh. “Not always, hon. Didn’t feel too brave when an attack about ended my life. Luckily, I only lost my leg thanks to a band of Marines nearby with big-time artillery. They drove off the insurgents and got me on a helicopter. Jess. He’s former Marine. Field lieutenant. Saw lots of action.”
“We’ve not talked about his time in the military.”
“That’s Jess. Doesn’t talk about that either. Most guys don’t. Us girls are more open, but that’s our way.”
“You must be glad to be home.”
“Not sure.” The honesty of the answer made Madeleine still to listen close to Tamara’s reply. “Oh, I like being safe and all. Just can’t find my groove. Biggest perk is being home with Baby. That’s my husband, Jamal,” she said with a show of white teeth and a head jerk toward the man who had been hovering near Tamara earlier. “He’s gets his jollies working high-rise construction. That man can stand on a girder sixty stories up and enjoy the sight while sneezing. I don’t need that much excitement but can’t seem to find anything that’s somewhat physical. You know, something to get my juices going. Right now, I’m working in a dental office as a receptionist to keep busy. Uh-huh, boy, you talk about excitement.” She laughed.
“Kids?”
“Nope. Can’t have kids. Collateral damage you might say, but all’s cool. Between Jamal and me, we’ve got more nieces and nephews than time to entertain. How come you wear a wedding band? I somehow thought you were single. I’ve got to admit I’m a little confused.”
Madeleine fanned her fingers. “My husband was Army, too. Died in Iraq.”
“Aw, honey. So sorry. Jess didn’t mention that part. Uh-huh. See what I mean. Where’s that crowbar so I can take it upside his head. Um, um, girl. And here I thought you were a newbie to all this injured vet stuff.”
“Well, I am. Sorta. Never joined a support group.”
“You should. No one understands like we do.” Tamara assessed Madeleine for a moment. “Jess is a good guy, Maddie.”
Madeleine blinked. No one called her Maddie other than a few high school friends. “I know. I like him. As a friend.”
“How long you widowed?”
“Two years the week before Christmas.”
“Um, um. That’s a bitter pill. Sorry.”
“I’m coping.” Madeleine saw Tamara make a pointed look at her wedding ring.
“Uh-huh. Well,
trust me, all the sorrow in the world won’t change a thing. So I try to look ahead with a smile. Did you know studies show the act of smiling sends these crazy-party endorphins jumpin’ and a jivin’ into the blood stream? Jess, he’s got a great smile.”
“I’ve noticed.”
“Well, if you’re ready to move on, you’ll not do better than Jess. That boy’s downright nice from all angles. Inside and out. Jess, he thinks I’m worse off without a leg, but honestly? He’s worse off. All I do is walk with my leg, and I pretty much got that covered with this.” She patted her titanium leg with affection. “But an arm and hand! Um, um. That sounds like major frustration to me because I love to cook. Nope. I’m better off. I’m tellin’ you that boy’s got determination.”
Madeleine sipped her wine and glanced Jess’s way. No one would find her saying different. And so opposite Danny in looks and body stature, which surely was a good thing. The love of her life since sixth grade had met her at eye level. It felt odd being with a guy so much taller than her average self. She put Tamara’s advice to work with a big smile when Jess eased into a chair next to her, snagging the tablecloth with his prosthetic arm. Wine spilled into Madeleine’s lap. A small gasp left her throat as she scooted back her chair.
Jess cursed under his breath and grabbed a napkin, then halted his instinct to help dab up wine from her crotch. His eyebrows shot up right before he gave her the most mischievous grin.
“I’ll handle it.” She grinned back, pressing the white napkin into her upper thigh and between her legs.
“Sorry about that.”
“It’s nothing.”
“You ready to take off? See if that wet spot freezes to your leg.”
She let out a hearty laugh. Between Jess and Tamara there had been no shortage of opportunities to pump crazy-party endorphins into her system. “It wasn’t very much. I think it’s already dry.” She pressed the spot again and showed him no red wine stained the napkin.
They said their goodbyes. Madeleine promised Tamara they’d stay in touch. Do lunch or a Java Hut caffeine run sometime.
Operation Christmas Page 4
