With a rustle of pink pleated fabric, Cynthia appeared suddenly at my side. Her crimson locks were neatly combed and arranged in a thick braid that curled down her shoulder. She stood stiff and tall, her grey eyes locked on me expectantly.
For a second, I waited for her to speak, though it became apparent quickly enough that she wasn’t going to break the silence first.
"Yes?" I mumbled, dropping my head in my hands and rubbing at my temples.
My head throbbed just from looking at the woman who could be carrying my child and my heart ached just as painfully. I'd never once imagined having children or a committing to a real relationship, but one look at Emily's beautiful face and suddenly that was all that I wanted.
We could never be together, and I was aware of that, but I didn't want my having a baby with another woman to be the defining factor in that. I wanted it to be us who made that decision, who put a stop to every dream that I had for us.
Even though I’d never wanted a child, I would take care of any that were mine. I would be as active in their lives as I could. I would never want a child of mine to ever feel as though I disowned it, as though I didn't want it just because I didn't get along with its mother. I had lost so much time with my own father, there was no way that I would ever make the same mistake with a child of my own.
"Can we talk privately?" Cynthia muttered, shooting a nasty glance around the bar and then scowling at me, "I don't want everyone to know about what’s going."
"Fine," I muttered back, "but I have to get Em some food.
"She’s just your sister, Jaxon, come on! I'm the one who's carrying your child! I deserve your attention right now, not some girl who you’ve only known for a few days."
"She is more than just my sister, Cynthia—" I began before forcefully cutting myself off with a grimace, "And I don't know for sure that it's my child you're carrying."
Her face drained of color, her eyes going wide in shock that I found to be just a bit too practiced.
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that we never discussed being exclusive and I find it hard to believe that I was the only man you were seeing."
Her cheeks flamed red, her eyes narrowing dangerously on me, "You're a real ass, Jaxon. I'm pregnant, you saw me take a test with your own eyes!"
"If that child is mine, then I will take care of it. It will never want for anything, Cynthia. You hear me? But that won't make me love you. That won't make me want you. I’ll be the best damn dad I can be, but I won’t be in a relationship with you."
"It's your baby!" she wailed abruptly, her face red and angry, "I'm pregnant with your baby!"
"Wait!" Lucas gasped, almost falling out of his chair, "Cynthia, you're pregnant?"
Cynthia turned toward him in shock, her lips parting and then clamping shut.
I turned toward Lucas, brow furrowing.
"How many weeks?" he asked, rushing forward toward her, "Remember two months ago when that condom broke—"
Cynthia whirled on me, eyes huge and teary, "It's yours, Jax, really! I know it is!"
I took a step back, holding up my hands as though I could build a wall between myself and the redhead with the desperate eyes.
"I was always careful, Cynthia," I whispered. "You and Lucas had a condom break?"
Lucas looked at me apologetically, though I couldn't have cared if I tried. It didn’t bother me at all that she was sleeping with someone else on the team. Hell, she could’ve been sleeping with everyone else on the team, even Coach, and I wouldn't care.
"I know it's yours!" she repeated, "I can feel it—"
"Like I said. If it's mine, I'll take care of that baby, Cynthia. But until anything is proven, I don't want to hear from you at all."
"Are you going to run back to your room to Emily?" Cynthia screeched, hands balling into fists, "I was just up there. You want to tell everyone what's going on behind that closed door, Jaxon? You want me to tell them how you spent all of last night?"
Lucas stared at me with shocked green eyes, the rest of the team going quiet as they each turned to watch the situation melting down. Coach Dalton looked on in sage silence, half a tomato slice still caught between his lips.
My throat went suddenly dry, like I was trying to swallow sand from the desert. Every breath was scratchy.
"Cynthia..." I began slowly, main reeling as I tried to come up with some way to quiet her down, but I could see it in her eyes that she wasn't going to be quieted.
"You want to explain to me and everyone here why she's covered in hickies and half naked in your sheets?"
"Is that true?" Lucas asked in shock, "Jax, is something going on between you and your sister?"
I turned slowly, taking in the eyes of everyone watching.
There was no point in lying. There was no point in trying to play it off. Though Cynthia was cruel and catty, it was obvious that she wasn't making this up. Plus, I was so tired of the lies, of the things I was hiding. I was just tired of all of it.
I couldn’t handle any more. I had no choice but to tell the truth.
"Cynthia is right," I whispered, shoulders sagging, "I've been in love with Emily for a long, long time. She and I spent the night together."
"And she's your sister?" Dalton spat, standing up from the bar and hurling his napkin down on his plate, "You're banging your sister, Hart? For how long has this been happening."
"Stepsister," I said quickly, "We only met when we were thirteen. We haven't seen each other in fifteen years. It only started during this trip."
Dalton wavered, looking at the rest of the team. Finally, he settled back down on his chair and took a long bite of his grits before turning black eyes toward me.
"Jaxon, you may be the best damn player I’ve got. If the team is fine with it, then so am I."
"They're not even blood related," Lucas piped up, turning to face the others, "They barely knew each other even when their parents married. Steve, you married your first cousin, didn't you?"
Steve, a wide receiver, shrugged and tipped his head back to take a long gulp of his bloody Mary.
"To be honest, Jax can play better than the rest of y'all," Steve sighed, "Plus that girl is dang hot. Did you see her come in last night?"
The team suddenly began murmuring and clamoring in agreement. I wasn't sure whether to be pissed at how they were talking about Emily or happy that it seemed to be going well. I decided on just letting them say whatever they wanted to say, for now, if it meant that they would accept us.
I still wasn’t sure what this meant for our future, but at least we would be able to contemplate having one now.
"Seriously?" Cynthia cried, "You're going to just let him have this? You're going to pretend that it's fine that he's with his sister?"
"Stepsister," Lucas corrected before taking a step toward Cynthia and patting her arm, "Add me to the paternity list you'll be making." He continued with a smirk before turning and walking back to the bar.
He settled down onto the stool, taking a long sip of his drink though he kept a curious eye on Cynthia and me.
Cynthia whirled on me, and though I expected to feel her palm slap across my cheek as hard as she could, she stood stiff and solemn instead.
"I am sorry," I offered, though I knew it wouldn't help any matters at all, "I never meant to hurt you. These few months that you and I have been spending time tighter, it’s been helpful for me."
“It was her all this time, wasn’t it?” She asked, hands limp at her side, “I could always tell that there was something… someone holding you back. It was Emily.”
“She is the only woman I have ever loved, Cynthia,” I whispered.
"Is that true then?" she asked instead, waving away my question, "You really love her?"
I chuckled, stuffing my hands in my pockets, "I do. Definitely. More than myself or football or anything in the world."
"She's beautiful," Cynthia whispered, her lips curving downwards.
Tears sparkled in her ey
es, real tears, I noticed. She wasn't playing anyone right now. For once, Cynthia was being sincere.
"You know I've got two sisters back home. Our parents died when I was eighteen and I took them in."
I tried to keep the pure surprise from passing over my face. She'd mentioned that her parents were out of her life, but I hadn't asked any questions about it. If I had, I would've had to answer questions about my own familial situation.
"I didn't want you to pity me," she sighed, her fingers stroking over her stomach.
Dutifully, I remained quiet, letting her tell me as much as she would like. I owed her that at least.
"I just wanted to marry someone so they could take care of me. Of us. I thought for sure that you would go for it." She laughed and shook her head, "I guess I was wrong."
"There's someone out there for you, Cynthia," I began, taking a step toward her though she held up a hand and closed her eyes.
"I'm just trying to say that you shouldn't be sorry. I'm just as much at fault here. I never bothered to get to know you, I just hoped you'd like the sex enough to lock it down."
She paused and stared at her palms on her ever so slightly swollen belly, then cocked her head to the side to gaze at me.
"It's not yours, by the way," she murmured, gesturing toward her stomach, "I'm sorry."
"Don't be." I replied honestly, perhaps with the most sincerity that I had ever offered the woman before me.
She smiled and stepped to the side, jerking her chin toward the elevator.
"I think she's probably waiting for you."
Forgetting even the breakfast I promised to get, I gave Cynthia a final, warm hug and ran toward the elevators.
There was so much that I wanted to say, and so little time to say it.
Chapter 16
Emily
Oh my God.
A baby.
Jaxon was having a baby, and here I was lounging in his sheets. I dropped the blankets in disgust, staring down at them as though they were suddenly scorching hot against my skin.
Emotions whirled inside of me, traveling so fast through my body that I could hardly keep up. There were so many that bubbled to the surface that I wasn't even sure how to describe them all.
At first, I was angry.
I sat down on the corner of the bed and stared at the carpet and wished that everything could change, that I could blink my eyes like that old school television genie and start this week over again.
But I couldn't blink my eyes and start time again and I couldn't stay angry for long.
I knew that was what he'd been trying to tell me when I showed up last night. I knew that was what he wanted to talk about again this morning.
It was me who pushed away the conversation, it was me who told him that I didn't want to talk. It was me who slept with the father of another woman's child.
Who had I become so recently?
Cheating on my boyfriend, breaking my family's heart, making out with my stepbrother?
I barely recognized myself. I felt foolish now, realizing that I had actually believed that I was doing something that I could take pride in. I was so happy for myself for standing up to Rick, I was so happy for finding what true passion could be, but now I realized that I could not have any of those things.
Jaxon was going to be a father, and whether or not he was with Cynthia, it didn't change things. There was no way that he would be able to raise that baby while seeing his stepsister. Even though we had never spoken verbally about the possibility of staying with one another, and even though I knew that it would not really be possible, it seemed so sudden for it be put to an end like this.
If I spoke to him, he would tell me that we would work it out, that we would be fine. But I knew I had to be the one to handle this situation. I had to be the one who took myself out of this complicated equation.
Finally mustering up the strength to stand, I pushed the tears out of my eyes and gave a long sweep of the room. Ralph had curled back on the couch, giving light little yaps as he dreamt.
I tore through the room as quickly and quietly as I could, trying to find both my socks and my bra, though it was my panties which were proving the most difficult article of mine to find. In the end, I gave up the hunt and slid into the clothes that I was able to track down quickly enough.
I had to get out of here. I didn’t want to see his face, not because I didn't still adore it or want it, but because I didn't think that I would be able to control myself.
All it would take was one gaze deep into those gorgeous eyes and I would be under his magnificent spell again.
I couldn't let that happen, I had to leave for me and him and our parents and his future child.
Swallowing the thick lump in my throat, I began to walk toward Ralph when the door to the hotel room creaked ever so slightly open.
Biting my lip hard, I turned back to face Jax as the door cracked open, but it wasn't my stepbrother who walked in.
Rick stood in front of me, his face dark and stormy, his mouth a hard line. He pushed the door firmly closed behind him, flipping the lock from inside.
"What... what are you doing here?" I whispered, gaze instantly turning toward where Ralph sprang down form the couch he'd been peacefully dreaming on.
"I told you that you weren't allowed to do this to me, Emily." He growled, his voice low and animalistic.
I shrank away from him, eyes wildly searching for anything I could use to protect myself.
"No, Ralph!" I cried as the dog lunged toward Rick, who grabbed hold of the small dog’s body and hurled him through the open door of the bathroom.
The dog crashed with a whine, turning to lunge back at the dark-haired man when Rick slammed the bathroom door shut in his snout.
Ralph scratched desperately at the door, howling as loud as he could.
"Rick..." I said slowly, holding up my hands in what I hoped was a calming gesture.
The man before me was different than I’d ever seen him. His chest heaved, his hands clenched tight at his sides. Pure terror rippled through me as tangible as a breeze.
He stormed closer to me and I let out a startled cry, my hands pushing outwards toward his chest.
Slapping away my palms he grabbed hold of me and dragged me against him as I began to struggle and kick. I finally managed to slap him as hard as I could across the cheek, the sound echoing with such a loud slap that even Ralph quieted in the bathroom where he was confined.
Instantly, Rick dropped me though I landed awkwardly on my feet and stumbled backwards, tripping over the tangled sheets laying on the carpet.
A single drop of blood smeared over his upper lip as he glowered down at me his eyes glowing with rage.
"You belong to me, Emily. You've always belong to me. You don't get to decide when this is over."
"I already decided!" I cried out, "I already picked Jaxon!"
"What do you mean you picked Jaxon? He's leaving you Emily. He's going back home and you're going to be all alone. You think I’m going to let you come crawling back then?"
"I won't come crawling back," I hissed up at him, starting to climb up to my knees, "I won't be coming back to you at all."
His hand struck my cheek so fast that I don't remember it happening.
All of a sudden there was a crack of flesh on flesh that pierced through my brain like a shockwave, sending me flying across the bedroom. I rolled against the bed, my head hitting the hard metal.
Limply, I lay on the ground, dizzily watching as Rick's feet approached.
He bent, scooping me up into his lean arms. I tried to struggle or push him away, but my brain was still recuperating from being thrown around. Instead of a push, I managed to weakly press my hand against his chest.
He took the small gesture wrong, thinking that it was affectionate rather than an act of repulsion. He smiled down at me, clasping the hand over his heart.
"I knew you'd see it my way, Em. Why don't you come home with me now?"
"No," I whi
spered, my throat raw, "I won't."
The slight calm on his cheeks passed, replaced with renewed fury as he crushed my hand underneath his own.
I cried out faintly, trying to pull free, but he held me captured against his chest.
"I will tell everyone about what's happened here. I will tell your mother and father about your tryst with Jaxon. I will tell his coach. I will tell the news. I will tell anyone who will listen to me."
"No!" I cried out, straining harder to pull from him, "You can't do that! You'll ruin his life!"
"Then come back with me. Be mine, Emily, belong to me again."
I wanted so badly to argue with him, to shove him away from me, but what was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to let the only man I’d ever truly cared about get hurt because of my actions?
It was because I hunted Jax down that we were in this mess now. had I left him alone like my parents urged me to, this never would have happened. Neither of us would be put in this dreadful spot now.
"Come on, Em," Rick murmured, stroking my face with what was an attempt at a gentle hand.
Even the slight touch made me feel nauseous, like my stomach was going to burst out through my mouth all over his polished loafers. Unable to help it, I flinched away from his hand.
He roared in anger, dropping me onto the ground as he stood and began to pace. He circled the room, his hands shoved deep in his pockets.
"I can't believe that you'd try and leave me. Me! I'm the only one in this town, on this planet, that would be able to love you, and you're trying to throw it all away..." He trailed off, rambling to himself.
My eyes squeezed shut as I listened to Ralph scratch and beg to be let free. How had I gotten us into this mess?
My options were quickly vanishing.
I would have no choice but to go back with Rick. I would absolutely not allow Jax to sacrifice his career just because of me. I would never let that happen, I loved him too dearly.
With a start, my eyes shot open once more, staring blankly at the high hotel ceiling.
I loved him.
I loved Jax.
That was the feeling that swelled in me every time we kissed, every time his name even just passed through my mind. I wanted to cry from joy and grief. Even though I'd only just realized it, it would never mean a thing. Not with his baby on the way and with me getting back together with Rick.
Stepbrother The Hard Trainer: A Stepbrother Romance Book Collection Page 23
