This is Improbable

Home > Other > This is Improbable > Page 34
This is Improbable Page 34

by Marc Abrahams

Gordon, Christopher J., and Elizabeth C. White (1982). ‘Distinction Between Heating Rate and Total Heat Absorption in the Microwave-Exposed Mouse.’ Physiological Zoology 55 (3): 300–8.

  Krause, D., D. Ick, and H. Treu (1981). ‘Successful Insemination Experiments with Cryopreserved Sperm from Wild Boars.’ Zuchthygiene.

  Liu, Bing, Liang-Ping Ku, and Wynne Hsu (1997). ‘Discovering Interesting Holes in Data.’ Proceedings of Fifteenth International Joint Conference on Artificial Intelligence, Nagoya, Japan: 930–35.

  McVeigh, Brian J. (2000). ‘How Hello Kitty Commodifies the Cute, Cool, and Camp: “Consumutopia” Versus “Control” in Japan.’ Journal of Material Culture 5 (2): 225–45.

  Oppenheimer, Daniel M. (2006). ‘Consequences of Erudite Vernacular Utilized Irrespective of Necessity: Problems with Using Long Words Needlessly.’ Applied Cognitive Psychology 20: 139–56.

  Ortmann, C., and A. DuChesne (1998). ‘A Partially Mummified Corpse with Pink Teeth and Pink Nails.’ International Journal of Legal Medicine 111: 35–37.

  Pories, Walter J. (2001). ‘The Cow with Zits.’ Current Surgery 58 (1): 1.

  Seiffert, H. J. (2000). ‘A Cute Characterization of Acute Triangles.’ American Mathematical Monthly 107 (5): 464.

  Smith, Geoff P. (1995). ‘How High Can a Dead Cat Bounce?: Metaphor and the Hong Kong Stock Market.’ Linguistics and Language Teaching 18: 43–57.

  Smith, Thomas J., Bruce E. Hillner, and Harry D. Bear (2003). ‘Taking Action on the Volume-Quality Relationship: How Long Can We Hide Our Heads in the Colostomy Bag?’ Journal of the National Cancer Institute 95 (10): 695–97.

  Spears, A. S. (1994). ‘Attempted Suicide or Hitting the Nail on the Head: Case Report.’ Journal of the Florida Medical Association 81 (12): 822–23.

  Stitt, W. Z., and A. Goldsmith (1995). ‘Scratch and Sniff: The Dynamic Duo.’ Archives of Dermatology 131: 997–99.

  Thompson, D. G. (2001). ‘Descartes and the Gut: “I’m Pink Therefore I Am”.’ Gut, 2001) 49: 165–66.

  Witts. Richard (2005). ‘I’m Waiting for the Band: Protraction and Provocation at Rock Concerts.’ Popular Music 24 (1): 147–52.

  N.A. (1974). ‘The Case of the Burly Wee Man’ (published in the Archives of Environmental Health 28 (5): 297–98.

  May We Recommend

  Anders Barheim and Hogne Sandvik (1994). ‘Effect of Ale, Garlic, and Soured Cream on the Appetite of Leeches.’ BMJ 209: 1689.

  Bollinger, S. A., S. Ross, L. Oesterhelweg, M. J. Thali, and B. P. Kneubeuhl (2009). ‘Are Full or Empty Beer Bottles Sturdier and Does Their Fracture-Threshold Suffice to Break the Human Skull?’ Journal of Forensic and Legal Medicine 16: 138–42.

  Bolt, Michael, and Daniel C. Isaksen (2010). ‘Dogs Don’t Need Calculus.’ College Mathematics Journal 41 (1): 10–16.

  Bubier, Norma E., Charles G. M. Paxton, P. Bowers, D. C. Deeming (1998). ‘Courtship Behaviour of Ostriches (Struthio camelus) Towards Humans Under Farming Conditions in Britain.’ British Poultry Science 39 (4): 477–81.

  Coventry, K. R., and B. Constable (1999). ‘Physiological Arousal and Sensation-Seeking in Female Fruit Machine Gamblers.’ Addiction 94 (3): 425–30.

  Griffin, John M., and Jin Xu (2009). ‘How Smart Are the Smart Guys? A Unique View from Hedge Fund Stock Holdings.’ Review of Financial Studies 22 (7): 2531–70.

  Griffin, Michael J., and R. A. Hayward (1994). ‘Effects of Horizontal Whole-Body Vibration on Reading.’ Applied Ergonomics 25 (3): 165–69.

  Hopton, Robert, Steph Jinks, and Tom Glossop (2010). ‘Determining the Smallest Migratory Bird Native to Britain Able to Carry a Coconut.’ Journal of Physics Special Topics 9 (1).

  Krippner, Stan, Monte Ullman, and Bob Van de Castle (1973). ‘An Experiment in Dream Telepathy with “The Grateful Dead”.’ Journal of the American Society of Psychosomatic Dentistry and Medicine 20: 9–17.

  Miller, Geoffrey, Joshua M. Tybur, and Brent Jordan (2007). ‘Ovulatory Cycle Effects on Tip Earnings by Lap Dancers: Economic Evidence for Human Estrus?’ Evolution and Human Behavior 28 (6): 375–81.

  Nirapathpongporn, Apichart, Douglas H. Huber, and John N. Krieger (1990). ‘No-Scalpel Vasectomy at the King’s Birthday Vasectomy Festival.’ Lancet 335: 894–95.

  Pennings, Timothy J. (2010). ‘Do Dogs Know Calculus?’ College Mathematics Journal 34 (3): 178–182.

  Randall, Brad (2009). ‘Blood and Tissue Spatter Associated with Chainsaw Dismemberment.’ Journal of Forensic Sciences 54 (6): 1310–14.

  Stephens, Richard, John Atkins, and Andrew Kingston (2009). ‘Swearing as a Response to Pain.’ Neuroreport 20: 1056–60.

  Traub, Stephen J., Robert S. Hoffman, and Lewis S. Nelson (2001). ‘Pharyngeal Irritation After Eating Cooked Tarantula.’ Internet Journal of Medical Toxicology 39: 562.

  US National Institute of Health (1993). ‘Fatalities Attributed to Entering Manure Waste Pits.’ Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report 42 (17): 325–29.

  Willan, Derek, ed. (1994). Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers. N.P.: Hellenic Philatelic Society of Great Britain.

  An Improbable Innovation

  Bodnar, Elena N., Raphael C. Lee, and Sandra Marijan (2007). ‘Garment Device Convertible to One or More Facemasks.’ US Patent no. 7,255,627, 14 August.

  Imai, Makoto, Naoki Urushihata, Hideki Tanemura, Yukinobu Tajima, Hideaki Goto, Koichiro Mizoguchi, and Junichi Murakami (2009). ‘Odor Generation Alarm and Method for Informing Unusual Situation.’ US Patent application no. 2010/0308995 A1, 9 December.

  Keogh, John (2001). ‘Circular Transportation Facilitation Device.’ Australian Innovation Patent no. 2001100012, 2 August.

  Li, Zhengcai (2007). ‘A Tittle Obliquity Measurer.’ International Patent application no. PCT/CN2007/003282, 6 December.

  Miller, Gregg A. (1999). ‘Surgical Method and Apparatus for Implantation of a Testicular Device.’ US Patent no. 5,868,140, 9 February.

  Nutting, William B. (1971). ‘Kiss Throwing Doll.’ US Patent no. 3,603,029, 7 September.

  Scruggs, Donald E. (2011). ‘Edged Non-horizontal Burial Containers.’ US Patent no. 8,046,883, 1 November.

  Smith, Frank J., and Donald J. Smith (1977). ‘Method of Concealing Partial Baldness.’ US Patent no. 4,022,227, 10 May.

  Call For Investigators

  Bax, Ad, David Max, and David Zax (1992). ‘Measurement of Long-Range 13C-13C J Couplings in a 20-kDa Protein-Peptide Complex.’ Journal of the American Chemical Society 114 (17): 6923–25.

  ‌

  ‌Illustration Credits

  Grateful acknowledgement is made to the many researchers and inventors whose work is illustrated in these pages, sometimes with illustrations, sometimes without.

  Selected steps from ‘Method of Concealing Partial Baldness’ (p. 20) from US Patent no. 4,022,227

  From ‘Garment Device Convertible to One or More Facemasks’ (p. 30) from US Patent no. 7,255,627

  Height vs. distance for footballs kicked on Earth (solid line) and Mars (dashed line) (p. 44) adapted from ‘Association Football on Mars’ by Calum James Meredith, David Boulderstone, and Simon Clapton

  X-ray of a road-kill green woodpecker and schematic of woodpecker at work (p. 53) from ‘A Woodpecker Hammer’ by Julian F. V. Vincent, Mehmet Necip Sahinkaya, and W. O’Shea

  Geometric division of an elephant from ‘Estimation of the Total Surface Area in Indian Elephants (Elephas maximus indicus) (p. 65) by K. P. Sreekumar and G. Nirmalan

  Fish’s stroke frequency vs. swimmin‌g velocity in six platypuses (p. 66) adapted from ‘Energetics of Swimming by the Platypus Ornithorhynchus anatinus’ by F. E. Fish, R. V. Baudinette, et al.

  N.B. Lizardfall plummets in December adapted from ‘Arboreal Sprint Failure’ (p. 71) by William H. Schlesinger, Johannes M. H. Knops, and Thomas H. Nash

  Detail from Egede’s monstrous account of 1741 and North Atlantic right whale penis of 2001 (p. 75) from ‘Cetaceans, Sex and Sea Serpents’ by C. G. M. Paxton, Erik Knatterud, and Sharon L. Hedley. Photograph rep
roduced by permission of the New England Aquarium, Boston, Massachusetts.

  Sheep personality vs. location adapted from ‘Effects of Group Size and Personality on Social Foraging’ (p. 80) by Pablo Michelena, Angela M. Sibbald, Hans W. Erhard, and James E. McLeod

  Distance between two cows during grazing phase (p. 83) adapted from ‘How are Distances Between Individuals of Grazing Cows Explained by a Statistical Model?’ by Masae Shiyomi

  Figure: ‘Comparison of amount of faeces accumulated under the lavatory seats in a lavatory at the Antarctic’ (p. 96) from ‘Review of Medical Researches at the Japanese Station (Syowa Base) in the Antarctic’ by H. Yoshimura

  Digestive damage to a surviving shrew humerus and surviving shrew tibio-fibula (p. 105) from ‘Human Digestive Effects on a Micromammalian Skeleton’ by Brian D. Crandall and Peter W. Stahl

  How to generate a shock pressure wave for tenderizing an article of food (p. 112) from US Patent no. 3,492,688

  Figure: ‘The relationship between craving, built, and the eating of chocolate bars …’ (p. 115) adapted from ‘The Development of the Attitudes to Chocolate Questionnaire’ by David Benton, Karen Greenfield, and Michael Morgan

  The long and short of bartenders’ pours (p. 130) adapted from ‘Shape of Glass and Amount of Alcohol Poured’ by Brian Wansink and Koert van Ittersum

  Fig. 1 of 13… (p. 147) adapted from US Patent no. 7,266,767

  Figure: ‘Two-way interaction of number of meetings and perceived meeting effectiveness to predict job satisfaction’ (p. 156) adapted from ‘Not Another Meeting!’ by S. G. Rogelberg, D. J. Leach, P. B. Warr, and J. L. Burnfield

  The patented Kiss-Throwing Doll (p. 168) from US Patent no. 3,603,029

  Figure: Types of mounts, with and without mobile phone (p. 180) adapted from ‘Effects of Exposure to a Mobile Phone on Sexual Behavior in Adult Male Rabbit’ by Nader Salama, Tomoteru Kishimoto, Hiro-Omi Kanayama, and Susumu Kagawa

  Changes in beard growth during a short stay on the island (p. 185) adapted from N.A., ‘Effects of Sexual Activity on Beard Growth in Man’, Nature 226 (30 May 1970): 869-70

  Evidence of a huge Parisian tooth-yanker (p. 196). Courtesy of the Wellcome Library, London.

  Dr Bean’s twenty-year nail chart (p. 203) from ‘A Discourse on Nail Growth and Unusual Fingernails’ by William B. Bean

  Number of deaths from myocardial infarction, French men vs. French women (p. 208) adapted from ‘Lower Myocardial Infarction Mortality in French Men the Day France Won the 1998 World Cup of Football’ by F. Berthier and F. Boulay

  Figure: ‘A tractor backhoe using a square section clamping gripper driver to hold, revolve and press a casket into a pre-bored or augered hole’ (p. 229) from US Patent no. 8,046,883

  The eponymous number of clasp knives (p. 231) from ‘Account of a Man Who Lived Ten Years After Having Swallowed a Number of Clasp-Knives, with a Description of the Appearances of the Body After Death’ by Alex. Marcet

  Figure: ‘The knife cut which divides the ham into equal area portions’ (p. 236) adapted from ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ by M. J. Kaiser and S. Hossaien Cheraghi

  Facial representation of financial performance (p. 242) adapted from ‘Facial Representation of Multivariate Data’ by David L. Huff, Vijay Mahajan, and William

  The tittle obliquity measurer (p. 246) from International patent application no. PCT/CN2007/003282

  The centre point – the intersection of common sense and the Peter Principle… (p. 250) adapted from ‘The Peter Principle Revised’ by Alessandro Pluchino, Andrea Rapisarda, and Cesare Garofalo

  As feature in Perception vol. 35’s ‘Last But Not Least’ (p. 256) adapted from ‘Eye-witnesses Should Not Do Cryptic Crosswords Prior to Identity Parades’ by Michael B. Lewis

  From ‘Net Trapping System for Capturing a Robber Immediately’ (p. 258) from US Patent no. 6,219,959

  Underarm stab action’ demonstrated (p. 267) from ‘An Assessment of Human Performance in Stabbing’ by I. Horsfall, P. D. Prosser, C. H. Watson, and S. M. Champion

  Os, sampled (p. 270) from ‘Quantification of the Shape of Handwritten Characters’ by Raymond Marquis, Matthieu Schmittbuhl, William David Mazzella, and Franco Taroni

  Note from study: The label ‘Hetero’ refers to ‘heterosexual intimate relationships’… (p. 285) adapted from ‘Dude’ by Scott F. Kiesling

  ‘Audience members overwhelmingly agree that the man on the left is named “Tim” and the man on the right is named “Bob”’ (p. 287) from ‘Who Do You Look Like?’ by Melissa A. Lea, Robin D. Thomas, Nathan A. Lamkin, and Aaron Bell

  ‌

  ‌‌About the Author

  Marc Abrahams is the editor and co-founder of the science humour magazine Annals of Improbable Research and a weekly columnist for the Guardian. He is the founder of the Ig Nobel Prizes, which honour achievements that make people laugh, and then think, and which are presented in an annual ceremony at Harvard University. Abrahams and the Ig Nobels have been widely covered by the international media, including the BBC, ABC News, the New York Times, Daily Mail, The Times, USA Today, Wired, New Scientist, Scientific American, and Cocktail Party Physics. He and his wife, Robin, a columnist for the Boston Globe, live in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

 

 

 


‹ Prev