“I knew I had to have you,” he growls. “I didn’t know who you were at first. I thought Lena must’ve come to Malta with some friend. The last time I saw you, you were a kid with braces and a shy look on your face. Now you’re… Fuck, Kelly, now you’re twenty and you’re curvy and you’re so damn womanly you make me want to roar.”
I grip the edge of the table to stop my hands from shaking, to try and stop the lust from making a scorching path through me, but it’s difficult as all my nerves start to pulse.
Signals flare in my mind, telling me to leap across the table and sit on his lap, grind my still-wet sex against his manhood, let him feel how desperately I want to give myself to him.
“But it wasn’t just lust,” he says firmly. “It was so much more. I can’t explain it. I’ve never felt anything like this before.”
I stare, captivated, the sunlight resting on his face, making his eyes glint with even more feral fury.
“What else?” I whimper, my voice shivering as much as my body, as my resolve.
It’s difficult to keep Lena at the forefront of my mind, to remember all the thousand moments we’ve shared that should make this impossible.
I remember how she wept when her mother died, how I held her on the playground and made a daisy chain to try and cheer her up.
“I knew I had to own you.”
He clenches his fists, leaning forward like he’s ready to hurt any man who’d try to come between us.
But what can he do about Lena?
“It wasn’t just my need to claim you, to push inside of you until I can feel how hungrily your body wants to cream for me. It wasn’t just my desire to bend you over and stroke my cock against your clit until you’re begging for it…”
His smirk twitches when I make a moaning sound, squeezing my legs together.
It’s like he triggers something inside of me every time he speaks, as though he’s reaching into my mind and tugging at the threads of my fiercest desires, repeating them back to me in a way only my lifetime lover could.
My forever man.
Mine.
Does he want the same?
“It’s so hard not to get carried away with you.” He sucks in a shivering breath. “The second – and I mean the moment – I laid eyes on you, I knew we were going to be a family. I knew we were going to be together forever. I knew we were destined to have children and… and it’s a fucking compulsion inside of me, Kelly. It’s like something ancient and primal is roaring at me to paint your womb with my seed.”
He trails off, laughing, shaking his head.
“Does that make any goddamn sense?”
“Yes,” I cry, nodding firmly. “It does. Of course, it does.”
“Of course?” He raises an eyebrow. “It doesn’t seem so obvious to me. And that, and that…”
His chest is heaving, every part of him primed like a hunter from thirty thousand years ago, stalking a shadowed forest as though he’s getting ready to take down a giant beast all by himself, as though he’s getting ready to drag a fresh kill back to the cave and feed me, us, our family.
“And what?” I whisper.
He reaches across the table and takes my hand, squeezing it as softly as he’s able. But even so, I feel all the pent-up pressure in his touch, as though any second he could drag me back to the couch and bend me over.
Then he’d drive up inside of me, even as I tell him I’m not ready, even as I tell him I don’t want to disappoint him.
Even as I tell him we’re betraying Lena.
The messiness of this situation thunders into me as he stares, eyes intense and dreamy, pinning me in place.
“Your virginity makes me want you more,” he snarls. “It means no other man has ever got to feel your precious pussy. It means that when I take you – hard, like the fucking beast I am – I’ll be the only man you’ll ever feel inside of you. When I say I’m claiming you, sweet Kelly, I mean it. I mean you belong to me. And your slit most of all.”
I gasp and squeeze down.
“This is the part where you call me crazy,” he says.
“No.” I shake my head firmly. “Those thoughts, those crazy thoughts you say you’ve been having… I’ve had them too. It’s like this swirling need inside of me. It’s like my body is sending me messages. How crazy is that, Kane?”
“I would’ve thought I was bat-shit before I laid eyes on you.” His thumb strokes tantalizingly across my knuckles. “But now? Not so much. I don’t know what’s happening between us, but it’s big. It’s important.”
I try to fight the tears that spring to my eyes, that rise and start to slide down my cheeks. But it’s impossible as a thousand memories of Lena swell up inside of me, as I relive the million moments that made us best friends.
“Kelly, Kelly.” Kane drags his chair around the table, wrapping his arm around me and squeezing me close to him. “What is it?”
I cry into his firm chest, the sobs tearing a jagged path through me, tearing me up inside. “I’ve had a crush on you for so long. I’ve always dreamed of this moment…”
“You have?” he growls, his fingers moving through my hair.
“Forever.” I sob. “But I always thought to myself, well, it can never happen because he’d never want me. And then you went missing. But now you’re telling me my dreams could come true.”
“They can.”
I throw myself back, staring up at him. “How can you say that? Do you think Lena’s going to throw us a freaking parade when she finds out? And you said you couldn’t even tell her you were alive. Which means – what – you’re going to leave Malta and disappear back to God knows where again? Is that it? You haven’t explained how any of this could work, Kane.”
“Kelly, calm down—”
I leap to my feet, slicing my hand through the air. “Don’t tell me to calm down.”
He follows me and grabs my shoulders, pushing me up against the wall and kissing me with rough force, kissing me so that I have no choice but to listen to the lust inside of me and kiss him back. Even now, in the midst of my anger and sadness, I find my body tingling at his touch.
Groaning, he slides his hand up my leg, further and further until he’s almost at my sex.
It takes everything I have to break it off and spin away from him, turning with my hand raised.
“No, Kane. You don’t just get to kiss me and stop my questions. None of this makes any sense.”
He sighs darkly. “I know, Kelly. I fucking know that. But it doesn’t change how I feel.”
“But what about your daughter? What about my best friend?”
He runs a hand through his hair, a gesture I recognize from my lifelong crush on him, a gesture that means he has no freaking idea how to answer the question.
Returning to the table, he drops down with another sigh, shaking his head. “All I know is I can’t let you go.”
Chapter Ten
Kane
Kelly wanders over to the table and drops down, drawing my eye to the way her breasts quiver despite the circumstances, despite how important this discussion is. We could be standing on the edge of a volcano and I still wouldn’t be able to stop myself from studying her flushing skin, from drinking in the way her eyes glimmer.
“If you can’t come back to life,” Kelly says, “then how the hell are we supposed to have a future?”
A thought occurs to me, but it dies as soon as it arises.
“What?” she says, reading my face.
Because of course my woman can read my expression, dissect the emotions moving across my features.
“I was going to say you could disappear with me, but…”
“But that would mean leaving Lena without her dad and her best friend, not to mention how much it would hurt my parents.”
I nod. “Exactly.”
We’re silent for a time, a soft rare breeze purring against the window. Someone strums a guitar elsewhere in the city. My phone sits quietly at the edge of the table, letting me kno
w Jocko hasn’t encountered any problems yet, that Lena is safe.
“But I really can’t let you go,” I snarl, passion flaring up inside of me. “This feeling, it’s not… I don’t just want you. I need you. I’ll go insane if I can’t spend the rest of my life with you, Kelly if we can’t build a home together and fill it with children and laughter and happiness. With song. Do you still sing?”
Her features shift in that shy-sassy way of hers, a constant battleground being played out on her face each moment. It’s the way I imagine her looking when I push inside of her for the first time, her virgin-tight hole gripping me firmly, so tight my helm will sizzle with sensation.
I repress a groan, tightening my fists to stop myself from reaching over and palming her breasts.
“Yes,” she says after a pause. “I mean, sort of.”
“What does that mean?”
“I sing to myself. Sometimes I’ll sing in front of Dad or Mom or Lena. But I still haven’t worked up the courage to go on a stage yet. Or record any of my music. It’s like my throat closes up anytime I know somebody’s going to actually hear me.”
I reach over and stroke my hand along her cheek, savoring the way she shivers, the way her eyes flicker with lust, and something else, something beyond mere affection.
The beast in me howls.
“Maybe you could sing for me one day.”
She reaches up, touching my hand as though she’s done it countless times before. “Maybe. If I’m not sick with nerves.”
“You never have to be nervous with me. Haven’t I made that clear? I’ve never felt this before, but I know it means I’ll always protect you. And that includes even from yourself. I won’t let you tear yourself apart with nerves, not when you’re expressing yourself, not when you have the courage inside to follow your passion.”
“You’ve really never felt like this before?” she murmurs.
I drop my hand and so does she. I wonder if she does it for the same reason – to stop her primal desires, to stop from crossing the line that would betray Lena.
She’s right. What we’re doing is wrong.
But it feels so, so right.
“Never. Why?”
“Not even with…” She trails off, her eyes flitting to the floor and then back to me. “Not even with Lena’s mother?”
I narrow my eyes. “You really want to talk about this?”
“I’ve only ever had one crush, Kane. You. But you have a history.”
“If you want the truth, I’ll tell it. But it might make you think less of me.”
She shakes her head, causing her hair to jostle alluringly around her shoulders.
I could spend hours running my fingers through her hair, listening to her soft songlike breath.
“I won’t. Unless you did something awful to her. And I know you’d never do that.”
“Of course not,” I snap. “That’s not what I mean. Unless you count staying with a woman you don’t love as awful.”
She gasps.
“Lena doesn’t know she was an accident… the best accident a man could’ve asked for. I’d die before I called her a mistake. Because she’s not. It kills me, Kelly, eats me up inside I’m not able to be with her.”
I see a question emerge in her eyes. She still doesn’t know why I had to disappear. But then she nods understandingly, deciding to table that concern for now.
“So you stayed with Lena’s mom because she got pregnant?”
I nod. “I was on leave and I’d just gotten back from a tour. We met in a bar and we got drunk and… God, this is fucked, but I didn’t even remember it. Next thing I know she’s pregnant. When a man gets a woman in a position like that – I don’t care how old fashioned it sounds – he has to do the right thing and support her. So that’s what I did. I stayed with her and I did my best to care, did my best to give her what she needed, and I think we became friends.
“But I never felt this, Kelly. I never felt like there was this force inside of me, compelling me to claim her, compelling me to be with her forever. I want to be with you long after we’ve left Malta. I want to put a baby in your belly and make you mine, truly make you mine, for the rest of our lives.”
She paws at her cheek, wiping away a tear.
I reach over and catch the next one for her, brushing it away with my thumb. “Are these happy tears or sad tears?”
“A mixture, I guess.” Her voice croaks. “I want everything you just said. But it doesn’t change the fact that Lena is going to freak if she finds out… both that you’re alive and what’s happening between us. And you haven’t even told me why you had to disappear. You haven’t told me why the Bratva is after you.”
I run a hand through my hair.
“Stop that.”
She giggles through her sob, slapping my hand playfully.
I laugh, stunned at how quickly she can draw us out of the pain of the conversation into brighter moments. “Stop what?”
“You always stroke your hand through your hair when you don’t know what to say. But you can’t not know what to say here. I need answers. Otherwise, we have no chance.”
“The Bratva take a very grim view of people discussing their business. If they ever found out you knew why I was exiled—”
“I’m hardly going to tell them, am I?” she says fiercely. “I promise I won’t.”
I study her, chest tight at the idea of some tattooed goon causing her harm.
“Okay.” I interlock my hands and squeeze tightly, feeling the tension move through me in waves as I try to figure out where to start. “When I retired from the Army, I started a series of gyms, both self-defense, and exercise.”
She nods, watching me closely. “Yes, I remember.”
“And then one of my childhood buddies told me about—”
I cut off when my cellphone blares from the table, letting out an angry sigh. It’s bad enough having to revisit these memories, but doubly difficult to have them interrupted, to be pulled so violently in and out of the past.
But the only person who has this number is Jocko, which means it’s important. He wouldn’t call me on a whim.
“I have to take this,” I tell my woman. “It could concern Lena.”
Her face pales at my daughter’s name, and I can’t blame her. Guilt is roaring through me like a damn train. It’s just that my desire and my primal possessiveness for Kelly is even louder.
“Yes?” I say, answering.
“It’s me.” Jocko’s voice is even gruffer than usual. “Sergey wants to meet.”
“What?” I snap. “How do you know?”
“They must’ve spotted our cameras. Or at least they know we’re watching the entrance to the city. He sent one of his men to the gates with a note on a placard. Kane. Rabat. Ten minutes.”
“When was this?”
“Less than a minute ago.”
“Shit.” I bite down, considering. “It could be a trap. But if I don’t go…”
“He might send in the cavalry.”
“Exactly.” I tighten my hand on the phone. “Okay. Get an exit strategy prepared. If the shit hits the fan, I want to be able to leave within five minutes, tops.”
“Already on it. But shouldn’t I be there with you?”
“No. I have to go alone. I need you here to watch Lena and Kelly.”
“Be careful, Kane.”
I laugh darkly. “Yeah, no shit.”
“What’s happening?” Kelly asks, her voice pitched high with anxiety as I lay the phone down.
I leap to my feet. “There’s no time to explain. I’m taking you back to your apartment and then I have to go.”
She must hear the urgency in my voice, her eyes widening as she stands up. “Is it bad?”
I think about Sergey, the fact that the leader of the Bratva has come himself. He must be more unhinged than I thought. “It’s not good.”
“What can I do?” she asks.
“Try to keep Lena in Medina. If you’re both here, it�
�ll be easier for Jocko to watch you until I get back.”
I don’t tell her I might not come back, that Sergey Abramov might have a couple of his Bratva men slit my throat the second I walk into the village of Rabat.
Chapter Eleven
Kelly
“Nice walk?” Lena says as I enter the apartment, twisting in her balcony chair to aim a loving smile at me.
I try my best to force my lips into a returning smile, but I can’t stop the thoughts flurrying around my mind. Everything crackles like lightning – the fact that Kane feels the same as me, the closeness we shared, the shivering orgasm, and the darkness which entered his eyes when he suddenly had to leave.
He trailed me through the city as he escorted me back to the apartment, sticking to the shadows, watching me like a silent guardian. And even then, when I should’ve been thinking about what a traitor I was, or how serious this situation with the Bratva was, my skin tingled under his gaze.
I want you more now that I know you’re a virgin, he’d snarled, making my sex tingle in anticipation.
“Kelly?” Lena walks into the room, taking my shoulders in her hands and looking at me with profound kindness on her face. “Are you feeling okay?”
I force a nod, hating myself. If she knew her dad was alive, I could tell her now, about the kiss and everything else, but it’s too much to throw at her all at once.
Or is that just an excuse?
“I feel much better,” I say. “How’s writing going?”
She throws her hands up. “I’ve hit a block. I’m going to head into Valetta and do a little exploring, refresh my mind. And I’m pretty sure I want to set the climax there. So I need to do some on-the-ground research. Do you feel like a little tourism?”
I remember how gruff and serious Kane became when he told me to keep Lena here, his strong jawline tense and his muscles throbbing at whatever he’d discussed on the phone like he was going to let out a roar and charge at me…
Charge at me and grab my hips and pull us close again so that I could feel his manhood against me.
Only this time there would be no nerves, no uncertainty stemming from my inexperience.
Malta with My Best Friend's Dad: A Steamy Standalone Instalove Romance (A Man Who Knows What He Wants Book 256) Page 5
