“Thank you,” I whisper.
We stay like that for a long time, simply holding each other, our bodies feeling like they could melt and become one at any second.
But all too soon Kane has to leave. We don’t even discuss it.
He just gives me this look, as if to say, You know what could happen if I stay.
Of course, I know.
Lena could catch us.
Everything could come crashing down.
And yet I don’t long for the previous seven days when we kept everything on the surface. When I was left to wonder if he still felt for me as I feel for him. Because no matter what happens, we belong to each other.
Forever.
There’s no going back.
Chapter Eighteen
Kane
Jocko and I stand on the rooftop of the house, looking across the open water to the Sicilian shore.
It’s the morning after my willpower crumbled and I stalked down the hallway into Kelly’s room, the morning after I unleashed myself on her because fighting the urge was starting to eat me up inside.
A strange peace settles over me as we stare at the glittering water, infused with the early-morning sun, and yet keep our gazes swiveling back and forth over the landscape to make sure no Bratva is going to appear.
The effort of holding myself back these past seven days – even with the welcome distraction of reconnecting with my daughter – has put me on edge, making every part of me feel taut.
But now I have the memory of her moans in my head, the way she shivered for me, and the glorious writhing of her body as I brought her to orgasm.
“I’ve got news,” Jocko says into the silence.
“Yeah?”
“Had word from the States. You know how you asked me to put a call out onto the airport, to check if any of the Bratva returned?”
I nod, remembering back to a few days ago when we formulated all our plans, working our asses off to try and get out of this bind. The obvious answer was to go to the police, but the authorities here aren’t as trustworthy as I initially thought. A deep dive via Jocko’s Stateside connections taught us that they’re friendlier with the Russians than we previously thought.
“Sergey has returned?” I say, hardly daring to let hope flare into my voice.
If Sergey has returned to America, it means we can take the women back there and I can get some true privacy with Kelly.
Shit, that’s a selfish thought to have, especially as my first, but I can’t deny the truth of it as it whirs inside of me.
Not being able to take her on a date, to be alone with her, to tame her curvy body and push up inside of her – it’s eating me up inside.
“Not Sergey,” Jocko says. “But most of his men have. Without him.”
My interest spikes. “Did you…”
I don’t need to finish the sentence, not where Jocko is concerned. “Yeah, I’ve done my research. The same as you’d do if our buddies knew you were alive. The Bratva has grown tired of Sergey’s pride, of his personal vendetta. We made the right call waiting this thing out.”
“But Sergey is still in Malta somewhere?”
Jocko nods gruffly. “With a few of his men, maybe four or five. He must’ve promised them a damn bounty if they’re sticking with him once the others have withdrawn their support.”
“Yeah, I’d say so. I think it’s about time we started making travel arrangements.”
“I’ve looked into that,” Jocko says.
I chuckle. “Of course you have, you efficient motherfucker.”
He grins, a rare sight for him. “Like I said…”
“I know, I know.” I laugh. “I would’ve done the same if I wasn’t supposed to be dead. So, what are our options?”
“I think we should take the ferry to Sicily and work our way to one of your European safe havens from there. We can get you the right papers to return to the States and…”
“And Sergey won’t be able to cover the airport and the ferries, at least not as well as he could when he had all his men.”
“Exactly.” Jocko nods. “It’s going to take me a day or so to do the proper security checks. And there’s this other thing.”
“What?” I ask.
He looks at me for a long moment, his eyes hard. “Are we going to talk about you and Kelly?”
I return his stare, fire pulsing through me. “How the fuck do you know about that?”
“It was a guess, but you’ve just confirmed it. Come on, Kane, I’ve seen the way you two have been looking at each other. Maybe Lena’s blind to it. But I’m not.”
I shake my head, unable to stop the note of pride from whirring through me. “You’re too clever for me, you bastard. Yeah, something is happening there, Jocko.”
He blows out a long breath. “With your daughter’s best friend? What the hell are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking I’m obsessed with her. I’m thinking I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I’m thinking she’s the woman I’ve been waiting for, for a long damn time. I’m thinking she’s… she’s everything to me, Jocko. Everything. It’s the only way I can explain it.”
He tilts his head at me, the prospect that I may be insane flitting across his eyes.
“I don’t understand,” he says.
I nod. “Yeah, I know that feeling. I hardly understand it myself and I’m the one who’s experiencing it.”
Jocko pauses, staring patiently, the same way he always looks at me when he’s waiting for me to explain something. Something about being in the military makes moments like these easier to handle, smaller almost because they’re so much less catastrophic than what we’ve been through.
“Do you remember how clear your mind was in combat?”
“Of course I do,” he says.
“It’s like that, man.” I run a hand through my hair, a smirk touching my lips when I think about how my Kelly teases me about the gesture. “When I saw her climb out of the taxi outside Medina, I was convinced Lena must’ve brought somebody else. I didn’t recognize her at first. But I knew.”
“Knew what?”
“That she was the woman I was supposed to be with. I know how that’ll sound to a grim bastard like you.”
I grin, letting him know I’m joking, even if there’s a shred of truth in it. Jocko has always been the distant type, never staying with the same woman for long. He’s always said he’s afraid of opening himself up to a woman, and until recently – very goddamn recently – I agreed with him.
“So you want to be with her, what, forever?” he asks.
“Exactly. And I knew this the second I saw her. I know it doesn’t make any sense. I know I’m probably insane. But that’s the truth and I can’t fight it anymore. And what’s even crazier is that she feels the same. We both felt it, this instant connection, the moment we laid eyes on each other. If it wasn’t for the fact she’s Lena’s best friend things would be so, so easy between us.”
Jocko sighs heavily. “I’m not going to lie and tell you I’ve ever felt anything like that. But I’ve never seen you so passionate before, not even close. I can tell this girl means a lot to you.”
“She means the world to me,” I say firmly. “But so does Lena. That’s my problem…”
I trail off, chuckling, shaking my head as a thought occurs to me.
“What?” Jocko prompts.
“I’m just thinking about this crazy suggestion Kelly made. She said we should go on a date to try and make each other lose interest. But I know that’d never happen.”
“But you want to take her on a date. Or at least have some alone time with her.”
“Of course I do. But we’ll have to wait until we get back to the States for that.”
Jocko bites down. “Not necessarily.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know how Lena’s been asking to go back to Medina as soon as it’s safe, so she can do some more research for her novel?”
Excitement flares t
o life inside of me, followed a second later by a pang of crippling guilt. “Yes.”
“With Sergey’s men deserting him, I’m confident I could keep her safe for a few hours. You know I’d never let anything happen to her. That girl’s like a niece to me. And who knows, maybe Kelly is right. Maybe you can work this out of your system and Lena never needs to find out.”
Primal defenses roar awake inside of me, the beast within battering his chest and yelling no, no, fucking no. I can tell what Jocko’s implying as I read his steady expression.
He thinks that sleeping with Kelly will make it easier to forget her. He can’t comprehend how big and all-consuming my need for her is.
I can’t blame him. Jocko’s never felt anything like this, and to him, it probably seems the same as obsessive sexual attraction.
But it’s so, so much more.
“How confident are you you can keep my daughter safe?” I snarl. “I’m asking as one professional to another.”
“Damn-near a hundred percent. Sergey doesn’t have the men. He has no clue where we are. If he tries anything, I’ll have ten exit strategies. I’ll die and kill before I let anyone hurt your family, Kane. You know that.”
Our eyes meet for a moment.
His are hard, but beneath their solidity, I detect a glimmer – a glimmer that holds all those battles we fought together, all the times I saved his ass and he saved mine in Ramadi.
I should tell him no, no damn way. This makes me a terrible father. I can’t betray Lena like this.
I should roar no.
But my soul sings and my heartbeat picks up at the thought of being alone, truly alone, with my princess.
“Okay. Let’s do it.”
Chapter Nineteen
Kelly
I stand at the window and watch as the plain-looking car drives down the road, alongside the ocean and out of view. Nerves swirl around in my belly, but I can’t deny the shiver of excitement that shimmers beneath it all, as my body sends whelming contentment, heat, and passion surging through me.
We’re alone, completely alone, for the first time in a week.
I turn to find Kane standing on the other side of the living room, wearing a blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up, his forearms tense and throbbing like he’s ready to charge across the room at any second.
“Are you ready for our date?” he asks, stalking across the room, his movements measured as though he doesn’t trust himself to act too quickly or he’ll snap.
“Are you sure she’s safe?” I murmur.
“I wouldn’t dream of putting my daughter at risk,” he says quickly. “Jocko is one of the most highly-qualified SEALs I know. He’ll hole up and call me if it comes to that, but it won’t. He knows what he’s doing. All we have to worry about is…”
He trails off as he comes to a stop bare inches from me, so close I can feel the heat of his body radiating from him, sending warmth cascading through me.
“Us,” I finish in a whimper.
“Us,” he repeats in a growl.
Reaching up, I grab onto his chest and dig my fingernails in, feeling how his muscles bulge. I’ll never get tired of how solid my man is, how every part of him pushes against me like he’s carved of stone.
It’s hardly midday yet, so it’s too early for dinner. But Kane takes my hand and leads me over to the table which overlooks the small enclosed garden, the high walls blocking out the rest of the world. The flowers are fragrant and the creepers are wild, giving the garden a jungle look, as though mirroring the entanglement in my heart.
As we sit, Kane leans forward and strokes his fingers along my face. “Don’t worry, Kelly. Jocko’s going to text me every fifteen minutes to let me know everything’s okay.”
I reach up as the tingles dance through me, pushing his hand firmly against my face, savoring the feeling of his touch. “It’s not that.”
“I know.” He nods. “But the only other choice is to tell her, and you said you’re not ready for that.”
Fear flutters through me and I find myself smiling – smiling away the discomfort and the responsibility and the pain. I put everything into this moment, closing everything else away, not letting myself think about it lest it tear me to pieces.
“What I said was we need to try and get bored of each other,” I sass, reaching for some of the Maltese bread he’s laid out on the table. I begin to butter it as I arch an eyebrow at him. “So maybe we should get to work.”
He chuckles, shaking his head, his eyes alight.
It’s crazy how we can do this to each other, pluck us out of the anxiety of what we’re doing, of the line we’re crossing, so that we don’t have to think about how truly messed up this is.
When we’re together, nothing else exists, nothing else matters.
And even if that’s a traitor’s thought, this feels like destiny, a secret voice whispering that it’s so tantalizing that my dreams have come true.
I just hope my nightmares don’t come true as well when we tell Lena. If we tell Lena.
“Kelly?” Kane says, in a tone of voice that tells me it isn’t the first time.
“Sorry,” I murmur. “I was off in the clouds. What did you say?”
His eyes darken for a fraction of a second, as he reads me – as he reads where my mind drifted off to.
But then it’s my turn to read his expression, and I watch as he visibly decides to put that issue aside for now.
“I said I don’t think you could ever bore me,” he growls, as he butters a slice of Maltese bread.
“Oh really?” I banter. “What if I started talking about my favorite color, really droning on and on about it?”
“What is your favorite color?” he asks, leaning forward with a smirk touching the corners of his lips.
“You’re not really interested.” I giggle. “I was just purposefully trying to be boring.”
“It turns out I’m less interesting than you, then,” he says, with heavy irony in his voice. Nobody could ever call Kane Konstantinov uninteresting. “Because I want to hear every little thing about you, Kelly. I could listen to you talk about your favorite color for hours.”
“Maybe I’ll really test your patience then.”
“So?” He chuckles huskily, making me think of the way his breath picked up last night when I had his manhood in my mouth. “Are you going to tell me or not?”
“It’s red, because—”
“Because that was the color of your karaoke unit when you were a kid,” he interrupts.
My heart gives a flutter, dancing around inside of me, sending motes of joy surging through me.
“I’m right, aren’t I?” he says, staring at me as though nobody and nothing else exists.
“Yes. You are. How did you know?”
“I don’t know.” He shakes his head slowly. “There’s lots I don’t understand about the way I feel about you, Kelly. I’m done questioning it. You’re just… you’re perfect, and I need you, and if I can’t claim you I know I’ll never be able to stand it.”
“What about you?” I whimper, as my lips tingle and my heartbeat thunders at his words.
“My favorite color?”
I nod.
“Military-green,” he says. “That color will always be special to me. I wore that uniform for so many years. And I was proud of it, so damn proud. People think you have to be in Special Forces to really see some shit, but the men and women I served with were the best of the best. We worked alongside Special Forces, SEALs, you name it… But we were always Army when you got right down to it.”
My heart expands as I study his face, reading the passion there, the way his voice booms and fills the room.
“You should be proud,” I murmur. “Lena used to talk about how you got some of your medals. I remember she said how you carried two of your friends across an open road, under enemy fire, to get them to safety.”
His jaw tenses and for a moment look flashes across his intense eyes. “Yeah, that was one motherfucker of a
run. But I had to do it. I couldn’t leave them out there, screaming for help. But luck was on my side that day.”
I reach over and grab onto his hand, unable to fight the emotion whirring around me, making it impossible for me to think about anything outside the preciousness of this moment, this breath, us.
“It wasn’t luck,” I whisper, squeezing tighter and hoping he can feel all the pride and affection surging through me. “It was you, Kane. You don’t have it in you to let anybody get hurt. You might be gruff and… and a freaking animal. But you’re kind too.”
Part of me screams to whip those words back, to tame the love surging through me.
That’s what this is, and I can’t deny it anymore.
Love, love, love.
Touching every part of me, flaring to life and moving around me so that I can’t fight it, can’t even try to fight it.
But I won’t allow myself to say it, to cross that line and possibly destroy what we have…
Even if destroying it might be the most responsible thing I could do.
For Lena.
Chapter Twenty
Kane
“Have you ever thought about having children?” I ask, unable to stop the question from bubbling up. “I mean… I know we’ve agreed that’s what we both want. But before that?”
We’re sitting on the roof, away from the edge so the people on the street below can’t see us. But we can still look over the glittering ocean to the Sicilian coast, taking in the majesty of it.
I’ve got my hand on her leg, squeezing softly so I can feel the lust burning up and down her body. My princess is wearing one of those tempting summer dresses that do carnal things to me, twisting me up inside and making me want to howl.
I can hardly stop myself from smoothing all the way to her sex and palming roughly, possessively until she has no choice but to cream and whimper.
But somehow I stop myself.
For now.
“Yes,” she murmurs and then turns her gaze away, the afternoon sunlight coming to rest on her flushed cheeks.
Malta with My Best Friend's Dad: A Steamy Standalone Instalove Romance (A Man Who Knows What He Wants Book 256) Page 9
