by Dakota Rebel
“Pretty much.” I scrubbed my hand over my face and fought a sigh.
“And you guys have no suspects?” she asked, blinking tears from her eyes.
“Nothing,” I admitted. “Like you said, it could literally be any asshole with a credit card and the internet. Kyle is talking about bringing in some help from the state.”
“That must have pissed Todd off,” she said with a laugh.
God, she knew my family so well. Of course, she’d been a part of it for most of her life, even before we were married. And she’d never stopped being a part of it once we divorced.
“Yeah,” I agreed, smiling at her. “He’s not thrilled. But we’ve got a collective nothing between all of us. And Kyle is convinced it’s just going to continue to get worse.” I finally gave in to the heavy sigh that had been sitting in my chest. “I just hate not being able to help.”
“You are helping,” she argued. She walked around the table and sat on my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck and burying her face in my shoulder. “We’re all scared. But knowing you’re there, working with rescue, helps me sleep at night.”
“Why?” I scoffed.
“Because, you’d never let anyone hurt me,” she whispered, her lips soft against my throat.
I held her tightly. God I’d missed her. There’d been a few nights over the past five years that we’d found comfort in each other. She was the only woman I’d ever been with, the only woman I ever wanted to be with. And I think I was the same for her. We loved each other, that would never change. But I’d hurt her, and I just couldn’t forgive myself for it.
“Let’s go to bed,” she suggested, standing up and reaching for my hand.
“Abby—”
“Danny, let’s go to bed,” she repeated firmly, shaking her head as if not willing to entertain any argument from me.
I got to my feet and let her pull me toward the stairs to our bedroom. It was the one room in the house I still considered ours. Even if I didn’t sleep there anymore.
Chapter Six
~Abby~
It had been a long time since Daniel and I had made love. I didn’t know if I always wanted it more than him, or if he just had nerves of steel. But on the rare occasions I could get him to stay with me, it seemed as if I were the only one between us who ever initiated intimacy.
I never believed he didn’t want me. It never even crossed my mind that he didn’t love me. But he thought he didn’t deserve me, or my bed, so he never asked.
Tonight, I needed the comfort of my husband. We’d both had a rough time, and it was his birthday. The least we could for each other was distract ourselves for a little while.
“I’ve missed you,” I whispered as he settled over me.
“I’ve missed you, too,” he admitted.
He kissed me, and as it always had, it felt like home to me. My fingers threaded through his hair, holding him against my face as his fingers trailed up my sides, pulling my tank top up with them.
We shifted in unison, disrobing in tandem like a dance we were well versed in. We weren’t anymore, but the muscle memory would always be there between us. Making love to Daniel had always been beautiful. Whether it was slow and sweet, or rushed and rough, this was the one thing we’d always been good at together.
Coming back together in the dark, his hips settled between my thighs as I carded my fingers through his hair, pulling him back to my mouth, my body canting up to meet his. My whole body was burning to welcome him home, and I was impatient as hell to feel him inside me.
I wanted him, needed him, ached for him to take me. I’d missed the weight of him on top of me, the soothing heat and comfort that I’d only ever received from Daniel like a balm for my lonely soul.
It was on my lips to ask him to come home, to stay with me and stop this maddening separation between us. But his mouth closed over mine, stealing the words with his kiss as he pressed forward inside me. Claiming me as his…as if he needed to. I was his, only his, in every way possible.
A gasp sounded in the dark, and I couldn’t have said which of us made the sound. We were moving as one, rocking against each other, hands and mouths and skin connecting everywhere it could.
He was so sweet, so gentle, so…Daniel. I felt tears prick at my eyes and closed them, fighting to stay in the moment with him, and not ruminate on all the wasted years that we should have been together.
He was here now. With me. Loving me. Touching me. This was all that mattered. Our bodies joined in a union that no piece of paper could ever change.
Daniel shifted his hips, his body reaching for that spot deep inside me that he knew would have me seeing stars. His hands slid under my ass, tilting my hips higher, until my breath hitched in surprise at the intense feel of him stretching me, filling me, pushing me higher toward release.
When his speed increased, I cried out, my nails digging into his shoulder as I fell over the precipice of orgasm, my muscles clenching and releasing around him as I shook.
“Abby!” he cried, his rhythm faltering, hips snapping quickly against me until he shuddered and filled me with wet heat.
We fell back to the mattress together, his lips finding mine again, our bodies still joined as our hearts beat the same frantic pace.
“I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you, too,” he answered.
We lay there for a minute, staring at each other by the dim light of the moon outside. Volumes of words unspoken, unnecessary between us.
He shifted, then gathered me into his arms and I lay with my head on his chest, the music of his heartbeat drumming some sort of sad song against my ear.
We loved each other. That was enough for now. But one day soon, he was going to have to actually come home.
Chapter Seven
~Daniel~
Waking up with Abby in my arms was like a double-edged sword. It reminded me how much I loved her, and it reminded why I didn’t deserve her. After everything I’d done in my life, this happiness was not meant for me. Not anymore.
“Good morning,” she whispered as she burrowed closer to me. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I confirmed, leaning over to kiss her head. “I’ve got to get to the office soon.”
“I know.” She sounded disappointed and it felt like a fist around my heart. I hated disappointing her. “Do you have time for breakfast?”
“Just coffee if you don’t mind.”
She rolled away and got out of bed, her naked body even more beautiful than I remembered in the soft light already filtering through the curtains. She grabbed a robe from her closet then looked back at me, smiling softly before heading into the hall.
I blew out a sigh. I was so late, but I didn’t want to leave. I wanted nothing more than to grab Abby and drag her back to bed. To keep her here all day. Worship her and make love to her for hours.
But there was too much…everything. I didn’t want to give her false hope that we’d get back together. There was an arsonist loose in our town that we seemed no closer to catching. And I should probably get to a meeting at some point today.
After having such a rough day yesterday and giving in to the temptation that was my ex-wife, it would probably be a good idea to ground myself a little.
I climbed out of bed and got dressed in dirty clothes I’d worn the day before, then headed downstairs in search of the coffee I could already smell.
“You’ve got some mail in that drawer,” Abby said when I reached the kitchen. She pointed at the sideboard drawer she kept my things in.
I tried to open it, but had to yank a few times before it finally gave.
“Sorry,” I said, remembering that I’d promised to fix this last time I was here.
“It’s fine,” she promised. “I don’t use it much and forget it’s broken most of the time.”
I wiggled the drawer, trying to get it loose, then finally sat on the floor, opened the cupboard beneath it and reached up, shoving from behind while pulling from the front until th
e damn thing finally came free.
An envelope fell into the cupboard, wrinkled and torn as if it had been jammed in the mechanism.
“I think this was the problem,” I said, holding up the letter.
“What is that?” she asked, walking over and handing me a mug.
I turned the envelope over and I heard Abby’s breath hitch. It was the apology letter I’d written to Bill Critch as part of my twelve steps. I’d sent it to him at his address at the prison, but judging from the faded red “deceased” stamp on the front, it hadn’t made it in time.
“I’d forgotten that was returned,” she whispered. “It must have gotten stuck in the back of the drawer and it just slipped my mind.”
“It’s okay,” I said, shoving the envelope into my back pocket. I collected the few other bits of mail that had been in the drawer, then reassembled everything. Testing it, the drawer slid in and out smoothly now. “All fixed.”
“I’m sorry,” Abby said, laying a hand on my arm.
“It’s okay,” I repeated, smiling at her. “I should probably get to the office.”
I stepped around her and set my cup on the counter. When I turned back she was standing in front of me.
“Daniel,” she started cautiously. “Why didn’t you send me a letter?”
Wow. Okay, so we were going to do this now? I took her hands in mine and stared into her gaze. She didn’t look angry or hurt. She just stared back at me, her expression more curious than anything.
“Those letters are apologies. And an apology is really just a request for forgiveness.” I dropped her gaze, staring instead at our hands. “And I don’t deserve your forgiveness, Abby. It’s certainly not because I’m not sorry. I’m sorry every single day for what I did to you. What I did to us. I’m sorry for everything we lost. The years. The marriage. The love.”
“Daniel.” Her words were sharp enough that I looked back up at her. “We never lost our love. Not ever.” She pulled a hand away to rest her palm against my cheek. “I will never stop loving you. And the only thing stopping our marriage now is your stubbornness. I’ll go to city hall with you right now and marry you again.”
“Abby—”
“I’m not pressuring you. I’m not giving you some sort of ultimatum. But you are my husband, Daniel. Now and always. When you’re ready, I’ll be here.” She leaned up and kissed me softly. “Go to work. And if you’d like to come home at the end of your day…well, I’d like that, too.”
“I don’t deserve you,” I told her.
“But you’re stuck with me.” She smiled. “Go.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I stuck my hands in my pockets, one finger lightly tracing the V on my sobriety chip as I walked down the hall and out the door. The clock in the truck let me know that I was seriously late, and going to home to change probably wasn’t an option.
The whole drive to the office I wondered what would happen if I did go home after work. Would she really welcome me back? Could it be that easy to just get married again and go on with our lives like the last five years hadn’t happened.
I didn’t think we could, but damn if I didn’t want to try.
****
“Did you sleep in your truck…or somewhere else other than home last night?” David teased before I even had the office door closed behind me.
“Mind your own business,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I knew I should have gone home first.”
“Well, you’re already an hour late,” Kyle reminded me.
“Which is why I came straight here,” I said.
“From where again?” David asked, trying to sound casual.
“I was at Abby’s,” I snapped. “Happy?”
“Extremely,” David confirmed. “You two finally back together?”
“We’re…shut up. It’s complicated.” I blew out a sigh and dropped into my chair. “Hey, guys, do any of you know what actually happened to Bill Critch?”
“What are you bringing that dirt bag up for?” Todd asked, his tone sharp.
“I found a letter that had been returned after he died,” I said, hoping they’d let me gloss over specifics. “And I realized that I don’t really know how he died.”
“Are you okay?” David asked, walking over and perching his hip on my desk.
“I’m fine,” I promised him.
“Well, you crawl in here late, wearing last night’s clothes. It was just your sober anniversary and Corrine was hurt pretty bad…you were with Abby last night, right?” David asked, his tone cautious.
I wanted to be angry at him for doubting me. Unfortunately, I’d lost any right to indignation a long time ago. When you spend years lying and stealing and sneaking around looking for a fix to feed your addiction…you don’t get to be angry later when your motives are questioned.
“David, I swear to you I was with Abby all night. I haven’t been drinking.” I met his gaze, forcing myself to stay calm and not let him see any anger on my features.
“I’m sorry,” he said quickly.
“It’s okay,” I promised, reaching out and putting a hand on his arm. “I get it.”
“No. It’s been five years, Daniel, I have no right—”
“You have more right than most,” I argued.
“You two gonna make out?” Todd teased, breaking the tension as only he could.
“Fuck off,” David said, getting to his feet. “Kyle, go ahead. Tell Daniel what happened to Critch.”
“It was a fire at the prison,” Kyle said softly. “His block was destroyed by an electrical fire that caused a machinery malfunction.”
“The whole thing was so weird,” Todd added. “They’d just installed automatic cell doors and there was a short in the system. It wasn’t just a fire. It was damned explosion.”
“Oh my God,” I said. “Are they sure it wasn’t arson?”
“What?” Kyle looked at me. “You can’t think this was connected. That was four years ago. In a prison.” He shook his head. “They have everything on tape, man. There’s no way our fires are connected to that one.”
I wasn’t so sure. It was pretty strange coincidence that we were dealing with a fire bug, and there was such a massive fire in the prison.
“Are you sure we shouldn’t look into this?” I looked over at Todd. “It could be the first connection we’ve found.”
“I can ask around.” Todd shrugged. “But Kyle’s probably right. Eight inmates and a guard died in that fire. They investigated the shit out of it. If there was anything weird, they’d have found it.”
“Why didn’t you guys tell me?” I asked, hoping I didn’t sound accusatory.
“You were a year into recovery,” David said. “And, to be honest, none of us were sorry he was gone. So, we thought, one day, you’d find out and maybe it wouldn’t be a big deal.”
“It’s not,” I agreed. “I hold no fond feelings for that man.”
“For now,” Kyle said, clearing his throat as he got up and walked over to the huge white board we’d been using for the case. “Can we go over some of this again?”
“I’ve got to get to physical therapy soon,” Todd reminded us. “So, let’s focus on last night’s fire first. See if we can find anything new.”
Suddenly I wished I’d at least drank the coffee Abby had offered me that morning. It was going to be a long fucking day.
Chapter Eight
~Abby~
I’d hoped Daniel would call me at some point before I’d had to leave for work, but no matter how many times I looked at my phone, he didn’t.
It was fine. I knew he was at work, and probably too distracted with the arson case to be worrying about texting me. But it would have been nice to hear from him. He’d had a long, strange birthday, and while I knew he wasn’t going to start drinking again…well, old ghosts die hard.
As soon as I got to the hospital I headed to the burn unit to check up on Corrine. Her parents must have stepped out, because she was alone. Glancing over her chart, I saw that Corrine was stil
l being sedated, but that everything looked good. Her heart rate and temperature were fine and the burns were healing on schedule. I slid her chart back into the wall file and headed off to do my actual rounds.
“How’s my favorite sister in law!” I turned to see Todd smiling at me, then he walked up and pulled me into a hug.
“I’m none of those things,” I said with a laugh.
“Whatever. Daniel is as good as a brother to me.” Todd shrugged.
“Fair enough,” I laughed.
“Speaking of Daniel,” Todd said. “I noticed he sauntered in wearing last night’s clothes.”
I felt heat creep up my cheeks and I reached out and swatted at him.
“A lady never kisses and tells,” I said.
“Damn. Neither does Daniel.” Todd grinned. “He did say he was with you last night. But no details were shared.”
“Good.” I rolled my eyes. “You don’t see me calling Sarra and getting her to dish on you, do you?”
“Go for it,” he challenged. “I’m a stud.”
“You’re something.” I sighed. “Have you been in with Corrine?”
“Nah. Doc doesn’t want too many different people in there. Clean suits are cool and all, but no need to risk bringing anything in there. Especially since she wouldn’t know the difference right now.” Todd looked around the hall, as if making sure no one was around to hear us. “Hey, Daniel was talking about Bill Critch this morning.”
“Yeah.” I sighed again. “He found a letter that had been returned to the house. Is Daniel okay?”
Bill Critch was a nightmare, and good riddance honestly. But he and Daniel had been friends, and drinking buddies, so I wondered if memories of Bill were going to be an issue.
“Yeah, he seems fine. You know, Bill died in a fire at the prison.”
“I’d heard that,” I said, nodding. “You don’t think that fire is connected to our fires, do you?”
“Daniel suggested it was worth looking into,” Todd admitted. “I’m going to see if I can find anything. It’s the only lead we have, to be honest. Even if it’s a shit one, I don’t want to leave it hanging. Just in case.”
