by Amy Sumida
“This has been such a fun day,” Sam grinned over her duck pizza. “Thanks for inviting me.”
“We all needed this,” I dunked my cheese toast happily.
I'd stayed away from Moonshine since my fight with UnnúlfR. Not because of any bad feelings but because I'd gone past the partying stage in my heart healing. I'd cried my eyes out, check. Toughened up and accepted things, check. Partied up and reaffirmed my attractiveness, check. Now I was just trying to relax and get used to being alone again.
Sometimes the phantom pains of a relationship were the hardest to get rid of. Waking up in the middle of the night because something just didn't feel right and realizing it's because no one's lying next to you. Turning to laugh with someone who wasn't there anymore. Buying more groceries than you need or buying something you'd never eat. All the little things you don't realize you do when you're part of a couple. People don't know how much they change to fit someone else into their life, until that person is gone.
So now I was trying to readjust and I was finally beginning to feel like I was walking on solid ground again. As much as I tried to be this tough as nails Godhunter, I was a girl at heart and I loved to go shopping. Being out with Sephy and Sam was therapy for me. For all of us, I realized as I looked at their shining faces.
“You look like you're having fun,” Demeter's voice called the therapy session to a halt. We might be needing some professional therapy after this.
My stomach dropped to the floor. I was completely unarmed, thinking I'd be safe in the company of a werewolf and a goddess. Shit, I knew better than that. Always be prepared is a good motto, those boyscouts know what they're talking about. I looked over the table and discreetly palmed Sephy's steak knife.
“Mother,” Persephone didn't look concerned but then Demeter wouldn't hurt her. “What are you doing here?”
“You never return my calls,” she slid into the seat next to Sephy. “You've forced me to trail you like a miscreant.”
“What do you want, Mom?”
Sam and I held our breaths as we watched mother and daughter face off. This could go bad quickly and we were in a very public place. Was it wrong that I was more concerned over the possibility of being black-listed from Nordstrom for fighting, than I was about the fight itself? I looked at my bowl of soup sadly. Was this the last bowl I'd be able to enjoy? Sigh.
“I want my daughter back.”
“Well I'm not coming back,” Sephy lifted her chin. “This subject is closed. I'm done talking about it and that's why I won't answer your calls. Now go away.”
I gaped. Visions of sending in covert operatives(werewolves) to smuggle me out tomato soup, started to form in my head. Oh but the shoes. I have to try on shoes. I couldn't just send someone else in to get them for me. Shit. Goodbye, Nordstrom. I will miss you, my friend.
“I understand that,” Demeter said reasonably. “I'm willing to accept your living arrangements. I'm willing to compromise. I miss you.”
I gaped more. I had to move my soup, so my chin wouldn't land in it. At least it wasn't going to be my last bowl. I distractedly ladled another spoonful into my mouth, since it was already open.
“What?” Persephone was just as surprised.
“I miss you,” Demeter smiled and it looked like she was really making an effort to appear genuine. Did that mean she really was genuine and just hadn't had a lot of practice at it or did that mean she was faking? “Will you spare some time for your mother?”
“I have to think about it,” Persephone didn't seem too convinced either. Demeter's eyes flashed for a second before she controlled herself.
“Okay,” she patted Sephy's hand. “Call me when you're ready.” She got up gracefully, her cornflower blue suit crisp even though she'd been sitting. She didn't even look at or acknowledge me and Sam as she left. It didn't matter. I couldn't have spoken anyway, my mouth was full of soup.
“Wow,” Sam said it for all of us. “Do you think she meant it?”
“Not for one second,” Sephy frowned and sighed. “Which means she's up to something.”
“Not to sound conceited,” I grinned, “but it's probably some horrifying plot to cause me more pain.” I laughed mirthlessly.
“What's so funny?” Sephy looked concerned for my sanity.
“It's just that I used to think all those people were so egotistical when they'd say 'Why is God punishing me?' I mean how could one person be so important that a god would sit around trying to come up with ways to torture them?” I snorted. “Now here I am, faced with the reality of a goddess, who probably spends quite a bit of time sitting around, thinking of ways to torture me. Should I be flattered?”
“I won't let her hurt you,” Sephy took my hand and I smiled at her.
“Thanks, Sephy,” I reached over and took Sam's hand too. “Look at us, we're the power of three.” I giggled. “Either that or we're a bad joke.”
“Excuse me?” Sam pulled her hand back and acted affronted.
“You know,” I laughed, “a witch, a werewolf, and a goddess walk into a restaurant.”
We got our good mood back instantly, laughter chasing away the dread, Demeter's presence had brought. I was so relieved. I didn't want my day spoiled. We hadn't even made it to Sephora yet.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
“So I have to ask,” Sam eyed me over her cappuccino.
We'd made it through Sephora, Dior, Juicy, and Victoria's Secret, where I'd bought a brand new bra and panty set, with the hope that I'd soon be able to decide on who got to see it. I'd also bought some new lipstick because a new lipstick always seems to make things better and a new perfume because a life change always required a new signature scent. I went with Clean's Provence, a nice fresh-start of a fragrance.
“Go ahead,” I sipped my own coffee and seriously considered another Madeleine cookie.
“Why, by all that is good and holy, are you hesitating on jumping Trevor's bones?”
I sputtered and nearly spilled hot coffee everywhere.
“Yeah,” Persephone smirked. “What she said.”
“He's so hot,” Sam sighed. “If he'd even once showed some interest in me, I wouldn't have looked twice at UnnúlfR. I would have done that boy anywhere and anytime he wanted.”
“Here, here,” Sephy nodded with a sultry smile.
“You're both sluts,” I whispered in my horrified schoolteacher voice before I chuckled. “I know he's amazing but so was Thor. It had been a long time since I was with anyone before I got together with Thor and it took me a long time to let him in. Once I did, I was gone. I loved him and once I love someone, that's it, I love them for life.”
There was a sudden clenching in my stomach, followed by a shiver that had nothing to do with Thor. It was almost a premonition, a feeling that there was more for me. That my love for Thor was nothing compared to what I was soon going to feel. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it wasn't a premonition at all but a memory. I frowned. Not possible, I'd never loved anyone like I loved Thor. Maybe it was some strange side effect of housing love magic. It could be the magic's memory or the magic's potential.
“Vervain?” Samantha tilted her head to look up into my face. “You okay?”
“Ah, yeah,” I shook my head free of the temporary weirdness and smiled. “Sorry, fazed out for a second there.”
“Yeah, that happens when I think about UnnúlfR sometimes,” Sam grimaced. “Uh, Vervain, we got something to tell you.”
“What is it?” I looked back and forth between her and Persephone's worried expressions.
“We weren't sure if we should tell you,” Sephy bit her lip, “but I'd want to know.”
“Thor's been whoring around the God Realm,” Sam blurted and then hunched over a little with a horrified expression on her face.
“Excuse me?” My coffee had turned to lead inside my stomach.
“She's right,” Persephone sighed. “Thor's been dating lots of goddesses lately. I think he's actually settled on one though, Epona.
That's why I thought you should know. He's moved on, so it's okay for you to.”
“Thanks,” I smiled, even though it felt like my face was cracking. It's never fun to discover that you're easily replaced. “You were right to tell me. I really appreciate it, guys.”
“I knew you'd want to know,” Sam nodded. “Oh, and I broke up with Kurt.”
“What? Why?” I tried to let go of my awkward feelings in light of her distress.
“It was fun but it's really hard to be with a human,” Sam shrugged. “I guess there's a reason we all mate Froekn. We don't have to hide what we are or explain things to each other. I bit him during sex and he kinda freaked on me.”
“Over a little love nip?” I looked at Sephy and she shrugged.
“It was more than a nip,” Sam blushed. “I just got a little carried away. Anyway, it made me realize that I didn't want to be with a human. On top of everything else, one day he's going to die and I won't.”
My body went cold. There it was, my main issue with Thor. It wasn't an issue with Trevor, only because he was bound to me and would die when I did but that in itself was an issue for me. Not only would all my new friends outlive me but I'd take Trevor down to the grave with me. Sam seemed to realize her mistake and put her coffee down to take my hand.
“I'm so sorry, Rouva,” she paled. “I didn't think. Forgive me.”
“Hey, don't go all Rouva on me,” I squeezed her hand before letting it go. “You've just brought up a great point and I think it's good that you realized this before you got in too deep with Kurt. He served his purpose anyway, he made UnnúlfR jealous.”
“Yeah, I think he did,” Sam grinned. “He's been calling me.”
“Really?” I brightened up. “What did he say and why haven't you mentioned this already?”
“I haven't answered,” she giggled. “It's been so much fun avoiding him and I'm not really sure I want him anymore. After being with Kurt, I know how I want to be treated and I don't think UnnúlfR is capable of treating me that way.”
“Wow,” I sat back. “Good for you. I wish I could figure out what I want so quickly.”
“You know what you want, Vervain,” Sephy put her hand on my shoulder. “You're just scared that you might get it.”
“I just have this feeling that as soon as I decide on Trevor, something earthshaking is going to happen in my life,” I frowned, trying to recapture the premonition.
“Yeah,” Sam grinned, “sex with Trevor.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“This show is ridiculous,” Trevor glared at the TV.
We were watching Glee in my living room, the cabinet doors of my antique Moroccan armoire, pulled back so the TV was visible. He was beside me, an arm thrown over the back of the couch behind me, as I snuggled into his side. We were trying a night alone together and so far it had gone well. I sank right into a feeling of comfort with him. There was a Vervain shaped dip in his side, almost as if he'd been made to cuddle me.
Thor had always been a little too large. Too large to snuggle with well. Too large for my bed. Too large for my life. Trevor fit just right. I smiled as I rubbed my cheek against his fresh cotton shirt. Nick was curled up against his other side, my cat taking to my wolf like they were litter mates. It was so perfect, it was scary.
“I love the ridiculousness of it,” I laughed as Puck was thrown into a dumpster by the jocks that used to be his friends, just as he'd done previously to the geeky members of glee club.
“I guess it's amusing,” he chuckled a little.
“You just don't understand, because you've never had to go through high school,” I popped some Pirate Booty cheese puffs in my mouth. “And if you had, you'd probably be one of the popular jocks.”
“I resent that assessment,” he moved his chest so it jostled my face. “I could have been a theater geek.”
“Are you seriously arguing with me over being popular, Wolf Prince?” I sat up and raised a brow.
“Things weren't always as they are now,” he looked a little serious and a little sad. I frowned. I didn't like sad Trevor.
“I know about how your father lived.” I thought about what I'd seen in Fenrir. “Are you saying you lived it with him?”
“They didn't stop hunting Fenrir until we established a power base,” he nodded. “It wasn't until the second generation of Froekn was born, that we were strong enough to stay in one place. For many years, it was constant hiding and fighting. I remember being afraid for most of my childhood. Then one day, we were an army and the fear was gone. It was incredible. All of us from the first generation, swore we'd never live in fear again.”
“You are so not the man I thought you were,” I whispered in awe.
“Who did you think I was?” He smiled his lopsided grin and tucked some hair behind my ear.
“I don't know,” I felt like I'd been so wrapped up in myself, I hadn't noticed anything beneath Trevor's surface. I had a part of his soul bonded to mine. I should have known. I should have seen that he was more than the frivolous Prince who just bought a club to please his mate. “I guess I just didn't think. I didn't see beyond the now, didn't consider that you had a past that shaped you.”
“Everyone has a past, Vervain,” He so rarely used my given name, it seemed even more intimate when paired with the intense look in his eyes.
“Not like yours,” I was amazed.
To practically come out of the womb fighting for your life. To never have the security of home. To never have a mother's love. That he had taken such obstacles and used it to become this healthy, happy man was mind-blowing. The strength of spirit it would take, the perseverance and determination. The Froekn's love of life and luxury all made sense now. I'd revel in it too, if I'd been denied it for so long.
“Or yours,” he whispered and it finally occurred to me what he was talking about, what past he was urging me to let go of.
“Wait,” I was stalling but something was bugging me. “How did you get a second generation of Froekn without mating outside the family?”
“We mated inside the family,” he smiled at my horrified look. “They were all from different mothers, raised together on the run. It's not as disturbing as you may think. When you share such a traumatic life with someone, you can't help but bond with them.”
“So the first Bindings were made between brother and sister?” I still couldn't get past it. I thought of my half-brother TJ and almost threw up a little in my mouth.
“It was a long time ago, between savage wolves on the run,” he looked disappointed that I couldn't understand. “We found comfort where we could and magic happened. The Binding was created and our pairings became pure, right.”
“I'm sorry,” I took the hand that he'd let fall to his leg. “I have no right to judge. I'm looking at it from a modern perspective.”
“I never found my mate,” he smiled a little at our joined hands. “Father just accepted that it wasn't for me but you're right. Some part of me couldn't accept a sister for a lover. Then the years past and more generations came but I still couldn't find a wolf who was right for me. I guess I always knew my mate would be different. Special.”
“I'm glad you waited,” and I was. The wolf inside me was rejoicing and I was surprised to realize that the rest of me agreed with her. Even my Nahual.
I had every chance to turn away as he slowly lowered his face to mine but I didn't. I didn't want to and with the first touch of his lips, I knew I'd never turn away from his kisses. My whole body reacted to the slight pressure on my mouth. A delicious shiver rolled through me, sending my hands jolting to his shoulders. He groaned and deepened the kiss.
He tasted like the ginger ale he'd been drinking, sweet and sharp, but beneath it, he tasted rich. He tasted like full moon magic, bright and tempting with secret knowledge. A whisper of satisfaction within grasp, of the fulfillment reached at the end of ritual. As a witch, the call of magic wasn't new to me but it was impossible to resist in Trevor. It bowed my back, my body curvin
g into his automatically, and pulled sounds from my throat I'd never heard before.
Trevor's hands roamed my back, pulling me further into his lap, but he kept them in respectable places. There was no push from him, no feeling of anxiety that I might have to pull back and slow him down. He just kissed me thoroughly, slowly, as if he savored every second, and then gently pulled away and put his forehead against mine. We were both breathing heavily, so it took a moment for him to speak.
“I know you need time, Minn Elska,” he whispered, “but I can't hold back much longer if you keep kissing me like that.”
“Sorry,” I pulled away but I was pretty sure the smile on my face belied my words. Sure enough, he laughed and pulled me back to snuggle against him again. Poor Nick must have run off during the make out session because he was no where to be found.
“Don't ever apologize to me again for something so incredible,” his hand was stroking my hair and it felt like something we'd done together all our lives. I'd never felt so immediately comfortable with anyone.
“Deal,” I said into his chest.
“Now where were we?” He waved at the screen that had turned to blue after the dvd had turned off. “You wanna watch another episode?”
“I wouldn't dream of torturing you like that,” I angled my head up so I could see him. “How about you pick a movie?”
“Okay,” he reached over and picked up the movie list folder. “I have to admit, I've never seen anyone with so many movies, they had to make a list just so they'd know where they all were.”
“And it makes it easier for guests,” I stuck my tongue out at him.
“Don't point that thing at me unless you intend to use it, Godhunter,” he growled playfully and nipped at my lips.
I laughed, free and happy, completely unburdened of the pain I'd been shouldering since Thor left me. It was the turning point, the moment when everything changed again for the better. The moment I'd been idiotically dreading. What was wrong with me?
