At first she'd been concerned. Now that he was essentially in charge, did he intend not to see her other than for business purposes? She told herself that's what she should want, but for the life of her she couldn't mean it. Getting to know Jordan—really getting to know him—was heaven and hell.
At some point she was either going to have to come clean about her real identity or finally have the courage to pull the fake file she'd prepared. Either one would destroy something inside her. But something else had become apparent: No matter how much it hurt her, she wanted to hurt Jordan even less.
Noah had given her a small reprieve, but Eden still wasn't sure she'd use it.
“You just going to stand in the door and stare? Do I look that strange in this chair?”
Eden mentally rolled her eyes. She was rarely an introspective person, but with Jordan it seemed she was constantly thinking inside herself, measuring every step and every word. She gave herself a short and sweet lecture as she glided inside and sat across from him. Get your head out of your ass, Eden!
Jordan's eyes darkened as he watched her legs cross, and hot zings of sexual awareness shot through her. She forced herself to concentrate on business. “How does the chair feel? Like you were born to it?”
“Hell no. Noah's slouch has ruined this chair. I'll probably have a bad back by the time he returns.”
“Have you heard from him?”
“No … don't really expect to, unless he needs some backup. This is his deal, his baby. He may call you, though. He mentioned you had a way with deep cover. He thought he might need some help later on.”
Eden nodded, not wanting to go into detail about just how good she was at deep cover. Another day, another time.
“So, anything on our agenda or the radar I need to know about?”
Jordan turned to look at Noah's computer monitors. He was logged into links all over the world, showing missing persons and suspected kidnap victims.
“Nothing we've been called in on.” He looked up at Eden in wonder. “How hard is it for Noah to not go after every one of these people, especially the kids?”
“I think he still struggles with it from time to time, but he learned his lesson. Usually within minutes of the abduction, the local police and other officials get involved. Noah tried numerous times to offer a helping hand, but it wasn't appreciated.
“Now he mostly just waits until LCR is contacted and that's usually after all other avenues are exhausted. We're known worldwide, but we don't necessarily get appreciated by certain agencies.” She shrugged delicately. “Our actions aren't always legal or ethical, but they're effective.”
“And I'm assuming by the time LCR is contacted, most people have given up on all other avenues and don't give a damn about legalities.”
“Exactly. Or sometimes, the person abducted isn't known to the police.”
“You mean it's not reported?”
“Yes, as was the case with Christina Clement. Her family is heavily involved in a variety of illegal businesses. When their daughter was kidnapped, they knew it was the Larues, who are one of their main rivals. They assumed the case would either not get the same attention as other kidnap victims, or they would have to give up something. They came to LCR, and we were able to help them.”
“That doesn't bother you … knowing you're helping the scum of the earth?”
“The children we rescue are innocent. What their parents do or don't do is up to them and their maker. And it's a lucrative practice for us. They pay highly to get their children returned to them.”
“Drug money.”
“Drug money that would be spent on many other things if they kept it to themselves. Because of such money, we've never had to turn anyone away because they couldn't afford our services. We've helped innumerable people with that money, no matter where it comes from.” Her brow furrowed. “Did Noah not explain all of this to you?”
He grinned like a precocious kid caught stealing a cookie. “Yeah, I just wanted to get your take on it.”
“So do you think the end doesn't justify the means?”
Jordan gave an emphatic shake of his head. “When I worked for the government, I dealt with some of the lowest people in the universe, often catered to them. I've paid millions of dollars to the sickos, using money that I have no idea where it came from. It didn't matter to me. I saved lives and prevented a lot of damage. You don't have to like or admire someone to do business with them. If it serves the purpose—a good purpose—I'm all for it.”
“That's good, because chances are, before Noah returns, you'll get another opportunity to work with these people.”
“Does it bother you to work with such scum?”
“As you said, for the greater good. I'll admit I do much better if I'm undercover. If I can be a completely different person, then it's much easier for me to forget and just do what needs to be done.”
“You were undercover when I first met you. With one of the Larues. Tell me about that case.”
As afternoon flowed into early evening, Eden found herself describing how she grew her cover as Claire Marchand. She explained the despicable things Georges's brother, Marc, was responsible for and how, as much as she wanted, she couldn't get to Marc because she wasn't a teenager.
“So you went after his brother instead.”
“Yes, Georges wasn't the perverted sick bastard Marc was, though to say he was a good person would be incorrect. From what I can tell, the Larues have little goodness in them. Georges's intense love of beautiful women was a weakness we discovered and could exploit. My cover was of a young woman, married to a much older and wealthy man who was an invalid. I arranged to meet Georges at a party. He took me out for a drink and from there we established a friendship.”
“How long did you have to do this before you were able to act?”
“Almost a month. I knew I had to be careful. Alfred, Georges's father, had everyone his family got involved with investigated. My cover was tight, but Georges wasn't as easy as I thought he would be. He enjoys the wordplay and seduction almost as much as the sex act. I couldn't push him.”
“Did you have to have sex with him?”
Eden raised her brow at the growling tone of his voice. Was he jealous? Surely not.
“No, thankfully it never came to that. That was the biggest reason I posed as a married woman. Georges has few ethics, but one of them was his aversion to sleeping with married women. Even so, near the end, his one decent belief weakened considerably under some stronger desires.”
“Getting you in bed?”
“Yes.”
“Would you have done it?”
They were getting into a realm that wasn't exactly business-related. She and Noah had an agreement: She did what she deemed necessary. If she wanted to talk about it afterward, he was available. If not, then no questions were asked.
Not only was Jordan's question inappropriate, he had a look in his eyes that told her if she said yes, it would upset him. Yet she wasn't going to lie to him about this. If her answer bothered him, it was something he needed to deal with. It wasn't her problem.
A small amount of prudence might be wise, though. “I had a few tricks in my makeup case.” She saw no reason to explain just how far she'd had to go to subdue Georges.
Those too-intelligent eyes told her he couldn't be taken in and sidetracked. “And if those hadn't worked, would you have slept with him?”
Eden took a breath and answered proudly, “To save a child from rape, or worse? Yes, I would have slept with him.”
Other than his jaw working slightly, Jordan revealed no sign that her answer bothered him. “I'm assuming by that answer, it's something you've done before?”
Eden blew out an exasperated sigh. She'd been exceedingly nice to answer the questions he'd asked so far … something she wouldn't have done with any other man. But she was coming to the end of her slight patience.
“I work for an organization whose main purpose—often its only purpose—is to
rescue victims. As an operative, this means I come second. If I have to screw the entire French army to save a child, it's worth it. Does that answer your question?”
Jordan knew he was being unfair and Eden had every right to her indignant anger. She had her priorities straight and he was beginning to realize that where she was concerned, his were seriously skewed.
He bit the inside of his jaw to keep from saying something he didn't mean. No way in hell could he sound sincere and tell her he totally agreed with her. If they were talking in generalities about someone else, perhaps he could. But this was Eden, saying she had slept and would sleep with a man or men to accomplish her goal. Hell, he'd had sex a couple of times to attain something he needed. Why was this different?
Because this is Eden and she is different.
“Jordan?”
She looked at him questioningly, and if he wasn't mistaken—though she was almost impossible to read—he saw hurt in her eyes. He was the last person to be passing judgment on anyone.
“I'm sorry, Eden. I had no right to ask that question.”
A small, tight smile was her answer. His words had done nothing other than make her more uncomfortable. They needed to move on to something she'd be more comfortable with.
“Since there's not anything urgent pending, I'm assuming you'll be working on Devon's case?”
Though her face remained impassive, her hands, which rested on the arm of her chair, clenched slightly. Was she angry with him? He'd have to figure out a way to assure her he hadn't intended to hurt her and in no way judged her. If he continued talking about it, though, he would probably only make it worse.
“Since I was the last person to see Devon before she disappeared, I thought you might have some questions for me. We never really got to talk about her in as much depth as I would have liked.”
“Didn't you give Noah all the information you had?”
“Yes, but I'm not sure he would have been able to explain to you the sense of desperation and hurt she might have been feeling at the time she disappeared.”
“And you feel you know what was going on in her head?”
He shrugged. “Probably as well as anyone. You see, Devon's mother—”
Eden shot to her feet. “Jordan, I do apologize, but I just realized it's after five and I have an appointment with a friend for dinner at six. Would you mind if I returned tomorrow and we got started then?”
Jordan stood. “Of course not. I didn't realize how late it was, either.” Only to himself would he admit disappointment. He'd hoped that after their discussion they could go to dinner. He'd missed her the last couple of days, but after breaking it off with Samara, he had needed some time to himself.
Now he was ready to pursue something with Eden and he, Jordan Montgomery, who rarely felt uncertain in any situation, was suddenly unsure of a woman.
Eden clutched her purse as she hurried toward the door. “I'll see you tomorrow then.”
“Wait. I was hoping, if you're not too busy, to have dinner with you tomorrow night.”
He watched Eden stop in her tracks and turn around. Her eyes gleamed, but he couldn't tell if she was excited or angry. Would he ever know this woman?
“About business?”
“What?”
“This dinner you want to share. Is it a business meeting?”
“No.”
A small, satisfied smile, one he almost missed, it was so fleeting, crossed her face. “Then yes, I'd like to have dinner with you.” She closed the door behind her.
Jordan's mouth lifted in his own satisfied smile. She'd just told him something important. She wanted more than a business relationship with him and that was very good news.
Eden ignored the worried glances of the taxi driver as she muttered curses under her breath. She couldn't believe how she'd handled his request that they begin work on Devon's case. She should have been prepared. It was foolish and unprofessional of her to not be ready with an answer … with several answers.
Stupidly, she'd allowed the last few weeks with Jordan to lull her into a sense of, not security, but almost lassitude. She'd just enjoyed being with him, getting to know him. She hadn't forgotten why he'd come to LCR, but she'd allowed it to go to the back of her mind.
Now she had to shift gears swiftly. Days before they left for Florida, she'd set things into motion and it would only take a few hours to complete the fully prepared report. She just wasn't sure she would have the courage to give it to him.
Rushing through the door of her apartment, Eden stripped off her clothes on the way to the bedroom. As was her usual course of action when something upset her, she slid on her workout clothes and went to her gym.
Pummeling her boxing bag, she weighed her options, none of them pleasing. Tell Jordan the truth, let him feel sorry for her … possibly hate her for once again lying to him, deceiving him. Or, tell him the lies she'd developed and let him put the past to rest.
How easy it would be to just give him the file. The way Jordan looked at her when she left Noah's office told her he was thinking of her as more than an LCR operative.
He wanted her. The experience at the pool had proved that. If she let Jordan believe Devon was dead, then could there actually be a future for them?
God, she was just kidding herself. She wasn't the person she'd once been. That person wouldn't have kept Jordan's interest. She was wise enough, mature enough, to know that now. But was Eden St. Claire any better for him? A woman who'd seen and done things few people had or would ever consider doing?
Jordan was interested right now because she intrigued him. She was an enigma … something different. When he realized what she was capable of, would disgust or disdain replace his attraction? She'd barely survived his contempt once. She didn't think she could do it again.
By the time she'd finished her grueling workout, she was exhausted and aching all over. And still hadn't come to a decision.
Under the hot spray of the shower, she allowed herself the choice she'd subconsciously wanted all along. It wasn't smart or noble, but something she wanted with a desperate urgency. Even after all these years, she still had strong feelings for Jordan. Could it be called love? Was she even capable of love? After closing herself off to any tender emotions, could she open up and allow herself to be vulnerable again?
She had no answer. But she wanted to take this time with him. To get to know him. Spend time with him. Relive the magic she'd experienced in his arms all those years ago.
It wasn't wise, and Eden prided herself on being wise. But it was what she wanted most in the world and she was going for it, come what may.
sixteen
Graceful and composed, Eden glided into Noah's office the next day, prepared to do what she needed to do. She wasn't sure how long she could hold out making the decision about what she would tell him, but she would stall for as long as she could.
Today wouldn't be easy. Hearing from Jordan's own mouth what he thought of Devon, what his opinion of their night together was … well, she expected to exist in a silent hell for several hours.
She would do it, though. She'd sit and allow him to dissect everything to the bare bones and then that would be that. There would be no reason to discuss Devon any further. She would tell him she was working on the case and in the meantime, they'd have the time together she wanted.
Eden refused to feel guilty for the sheer selfishness of that decision. She'd given up a lot over the years, why shouldn't she have these days of happiness?
“Good morning, Eden. You look well rested.”
A genuine smile, one she rarely showed, spread across her face. “Thank you. I had a good night's sleep.” She gestured widely with her hand. “And you're beginning to look like a natural in that chair.”
He shook his head. “I don't think I could get used to sitting behind a desk all day.”
“It is hard to imagine you doing that. You seem too much a man of action.”
Though she hadn't intended anything sexual in
the remark, a sensual gleam darkened Jordan's eyes and his mouth lifted in that sexy grin. Pinpoints of heat immediately swept through her, settling between her legs to create a slow, deep throb.
With one look, he'd turned her on.
Forcing her shaking legs to the chair in front of the desk, she plopped down with an embarrassing inelegance.
Jordan had stood when she walked in, and instead of sitting again, he came around the desk and stood in front of her.
“Eden?”
She looked up at him and swallowed hard. She who seduced men to get what she needed was suddenly stunned to find herself dry-mouthed and speechless. Not only that, but she found herself feeling overwhelmed. He stood so close to her, she felt closed in … almost claustrophobic. Something she hadn't felt in years. After a couple of tries, she managed a raspy “Yes?”
Evidently sensing her need for space, Jordan backed up and sat in the chair beside her. “I know this meeting today is for us to discuss Devon. And I intend to do that … help in any way I can to find out what happened to her. But I think we need to get something out of the way before we begin.”
“We do?” Was that wobbly, insecure voice hers?
Jordan leaned forward and touched her hands. She looked down, surprised to see her hands clenched together. What was happening to Eden, the sexually confident woman? She was beginning to act more like Devon, the fragile, innocent young girl.
Eden took a deep, controlled breath. Damned if she'd let that happen.
She unclenched her hands and took Jordan's hand in hers. Forcing confidence back into her voice, she glided a finger down the back of his hand. “What exactly do you want to ‘get out of the way’?”
“This.” Standing, Jordan moved quickly, leaned down, and put his mouth on hers. So surprised was she at this move, Eden's mouth had been half open in shock. Jordan took advantage and swept his tongue deep inside. Pressed back against the chair, Eden could only respond the way her body screamed for her to. His deep growl of approval vibrated against her lips when she opened her mouth wider, allowing him even greater access.
Rescue Me: A Novel Page 20
