Holding my breath, I press my lips together in some form of a weird smile and shake my head. “No. It won’t be a problem at all.”
“Good, because he just walked in with Sienna.”
Fuck.
Twisting my head, I look over my shoulder, and through the crowd of people, I see Carrick. It’s impossible not to see him. He stands out wherever he goes.
He looks stunning in his tux, top button of his shirt undone, his bow tie lost somewhere along the way. Strands of his hair, in that little to no effort style of his, tease his forehead. His blue eyes dance under the lights as he stops to chat with some racing fans.
My heart sets off, doing a little thumpity-thump beat in my chest.
And I really need to get a grip because I’m starting to sound like a love-struck teenager. I’m actually making myself feel nauseous with my moon-eyed thoughts.
“You’re definitely okay?” Ben’s voice comes in my ear. “Because we can make a break for it before they get over here, if you want?”
Turning to look at him, I smile at his quip. “I’m good. But thanks for being awesome.”
He gives me a wink, followed by a smile.
I know he can see through my bullshit, and I appreciate that he doesn’t call me on it.
My mask is beginning to slip, and I really need to get it set back in place before Carrick sees it, too.
“Here you go.” Petra hands me what looks like a Jägerbomb and then gives one to Ben.
“This a Jägerbomb?” I ask.
“Yep. And you’ve got one more to drink after this, so get supping, girl.”
Okay…
To be quite honest, I’m ready for this drink now. I need the alcohol courage to get me through the next however long of the Sienna show.
“On the count of three…” Petra starts.
I tip the glass to my lips before the countdown even begins, and I down the whole thing.
“Fuck!” I blow out a breath of fire, slamming the glass down on the bar.
Petra is staring at me with what can only be described as total admiration.
“Attagirl!” Lifting a hand, she high-fives me. “Come on, Benny Boy, we got some catching up to do.”
They both down their Jägers. A string of curses come from them as they blow out fiery breaths. I laugh at them, feeling a little lighter already.
I’ve just downed my second shot when I sense Carrick behind me. He doesn’t have to say anything nowadays for me to know he’s there. I can just feel his presence, like he’s actually touching me.
Thankfully, after the Jägers, the room is starting to look an awful lot prettier. So, I think I can contend with him and the pop princess.
Then, I do feel him. His hand gently presses against my waist. My body freezes and then explodes back to life. Memories of his hands on my naked skin in that hotel room in Barcelona flood my mind.
“Hey.” His deep voice comes in my ear, causing a shiver to hurtle through me.
Turning, I look at him, loving the feel of his hand, and it stays on me, sliding around my back, eliciting more shivers to run deep inside of places where I really shouldn’t be feeling shivers.
His blues glitter at me, and I feel a flutter in my chest. He just looks so beautiful.
I really hate that.
“Hey.” I smile.
I glance around for Sienna, but she’s nowhere to be seen. Maybe she got carried off by the natives—wishful thinking on my part.
“Congratulations on the win, by the way. You were amazing. Really, really brilliant. The way you greased that corner on the last lap—amazing!” I’m grinning like a lunatic now and waving my hands about like a conductor. I need to get a grip.
This is what too much alcohol does. It turns me into an even bigger idiot than I already am.
“Thanks.” He smiles, and it reaches all the way to his eyes. Then, he dips his head to mine. “I missed you earlier. I wanted to celebrate with my best—” He pauses for a beat as though thinking over his words. Then, he says, “Mechanic. One minute, you were there, and then you were gone. Where did you go to?”
I ran off because I couldn’t bear to watch her all over you.
And that thought is like a douse of water over my fire.
I can feel my smile fading, so I force it back, brightening it up. “Sorry about that. I had an errand to run.” Liar. Liar.
“Right.” He nods, not moving his eyes from mine, and I’m starting to feel a little more than exposed, like he can see right through my bullshit, just like Ben could before. “Maybe we can have a drink tonight to celebrate?”
“Sure.” I smile widely again.
Then, I watch as his eyes do that thing they do where they run down me, taking me in, stripping me bare. He hasn’t done that since Barcelona. It makes me feel weak and needy for what I can’t have.
He brings his mouth to my ear. “You look beautiful tonight.” His words whisper over my skin, making my head feel light.
“Where’s Sienna?” It’s like a reflex, but it’s definitely the kick I need back to the here and now.
Something akin to annoyance flickers through his eyes. He drops his hand from me, taking a step back. “Restroom.”
“Carrick, you want a drink?” That’s Ben.
He lifts his chin in Ben’s direction. Then, his eyes follow, and I feel like I can finally breathe for the first time since he arrived.
“Beer would be great. Thanks, mate.”
Realizing that I’m facing Carrick with my back to Ben and Petra, I turn around to face them, standing beside Carrick.
Petra’s eyes are on me the moment I turn. I can see the concern in them, so I give her a reassuring smile.
“I didn’t know you were coming tonight. I thought you were stuck at that boring party,” Petra says to Carrick.
“Yeah, I was, and it was worse than boring, so I snuck out to come and hang with you guys.”
“Of course you did. We’re way more interesting than a bunch of stuck-up rich people. No offense.” She grins when she realizes what she said.
Carrick’s rich, but he’s far from boring.
He’s the most interesting person I’ve ever met.
Oh God, I’m at it again.
“None taken. And you’re right. The people here are a hell of a lot more interesting.”
The depth of his voice lifts my eyes to his to find him staring straight at me.
My mouth dries.
“So, how did you know where we were?” I ask, moistening my lips with my tongue.
Something flashes through his eyes. It looks a lot like lust, but because I’m in denial right now, I’m going to pretend it wasn’t.
“Ben told me earlier where you were going to be.”
“Oh, did he?” I slide a look at Ben, but he’s facing away, trying to get served at the bar.
“Andressa.” Carrick’s hand touches my lower back, pulling my attention back to him. His eyes look deep and serious. “Can we talk? There’s something—”
“God, I thought I was never gonna get back to you! It’s packed in here. Why are we here again? The party we were at was way nicer.”
Sienna’s annoying voice rings in my ears like an alarm bell.
I step away from Carrick, causing his hand to fall away, leaving a distinct chill where he just was.
“Get me a drink, will you, Carr? I’m gonna need a large one if I’m forced to stay here for the rest of the night.” She lets out a dramatic sigh.
Annoyance flickers through me. You’d think he’d brought her to a dive with the way she’s acting. This place is really nice—hence, the reason why it’s so full of people.
Biting my tongue from telling her to piss off back to where she came, I turn to look at her.
She looks really nice in a knee-length black lacy dress, which looks like it cost more than my entire wardrobe. And granted, there’s a little bit too much lace, revealing a lot of her assets, but she can carry it off.
She looks a lot prett
ier than I do right now. I hate that.
But I can handle it. I’m a strong woman who treats other women with respect.
Pushing my dislike for her aside, I force myself to be polite and smile at her. “Hello, Sienna.”
She gives me a blank stare at the sound of my voice. “Oh, good. You’re here.” Then, she rolls her eyes.
Okay…seems Carrick’s little talk with her clearly had no effect.
God, I would love to punch her in her face—just once—but of course, I won’t.
So, sucking it up, I give a tight smile. “I am. And now I’m going. Restroom break. Nice seeing you as always.”
I’m going for the kill-her-with kindness theory. It’d be awesome if it actually worked. That was a joke—kind of.
I walk over to Petra, who is currently scowling at Sienna.
“Restroom,” I say with a jerk of my head.
“Let’s go.” She takes hold of my hand. “Back soon, Benny Boy.” She pats his shoulder as we pass.
By the time we make it to the restroom, I am actually in need of going.
When I’m finished, I come out of the stall. Petra is at the sink, applying her lipstick in the mirror above it. I can see her eyeing me carefully as I wash my hands, but she doesn’t say anything.
I appraise my outfit in the mirror. I’m actually wearing a skirt tonight. Cute little floaty black number that I got when I went shopping with Petra the other day. I’ve teamed it with a pretty sparkly strappy black top and some low silver heels. My hair is down in loose waves.
I look nice. Well, not as nice as the pop princess, but whatever.
I blow out a breath.
“You okay?” Petra asks.
“I’m great.” I flash her a smile, and then I get my gloss from my clutch and start applying it to my lips.
I’ve been faking smiles and saying, “I’m great,” a lot lately.
“I didn’t know Carrick and the mega bitch were coming tonight.” She grimaces.
That’s brings me around to face her. “It’s not your fault they’re here. And I didn’t know they were coming either. But it’s not a big deal.” I lift my shoulders in a way that says I don’t care—when we both know I really do. “I’m fine about it.” I turn back to the mirror to finish applying my gloss. “I’m over the whole Carrick-and-Sienna thing anyway.” I press my lips together, making a smacking sound. Then, I fasten my tube of gloss up and drop it in my clutch.
“Sure you are.” She gives me a disbelieving look. “This is me you’re talking to, Andi, not Ben. You don’t have to bullshit me. If you don’t want to spend the night around Carrick and the mega bitch, then we can go somewhere else, no problem. Today has been a tough day for you, and I’m not having the good mood we’ve got you in ruined by that talentless, humongous pain in the arse.”
I snort out a laugh at her candid description of Sienna.
Yesterday, I did succumb, out of morbid curiosity, and listened to one of the most recent songs by The Diamond Babes. Not my thing, but I can see why they’re popular. The main singer is really talented. That being said, Sienna is definitely only there to make up the pretty numbers. Petra insisted on playing me some of their live stuff—you know, just to torture me. It’s fair to say that Sienna can’t sing a note, and that’s not me being a bitch. She really can’t.
“Okay…” I concede on a breath. “But I am fine to stay, I promise. I need to get over my stupid crush or whatever it is that I have going on for Carrick, and the way for that to happen is for me to be around him and her.”
She stares at me for a long moment, her head tilted to the side.
“What?” I shift, uncomfortable.
“It’s not just a crush, is it?”
“What?” I give a nervous laugh. “Of course it is. What else would it be?”
“Love? If not love, then it’s definitely well on its way to being that.”
“I am not in love with Carrick!” I scoff.
Am I?
No…definitely not.
Her hands go to her hips. “Andi, I might not have known you for a long time, but I’m good at reading people, and you might not even realize it yourself, but you’re in love with him.”
I laugh loudly because I really don’t know what else to do.
I’m not in love with Carrick. Definitely not.
I pick up my clutch, tucking it under my arm, as I’m gearing to leave the restroom and put a quick stop to this conversation.
“If Carrick wasn’t a driver, would you be with him?”
I’m jolted back to that moment in Barcelona, dancing with Carrick at the party, when he asked me pretty much the same question, only in a different context.
Sighing, I lean my hip against the sink. “Maybe.”
She mirrors me. “I think it’s a definite yes.”
“Are you a psychic nowadays?” I smile so not to come off as bitchy.
But she doesn’t say anything.
A somber sigh escapes me. “Okay, fine. Yes, maybe I would risk being with Carrick if he were just a normal guy. But he’s not a normal guy. He puts his life at risk every time he climbs in that car and pulls onto those tracks. And that’s not something I can live with. But really, all of this is a moot point because Carrick is a driver, and he’s not exactly into me in that way. Sure, he wanted to shag me, and I think he probably would again, given the chance, if he weren’t with Sienna, but he is, and he definitely doesn’t want a relationship with me.”
“Oh my God!” She throws her hands up in the air. “Andi, I adore you. I do. But you are the most deluded person I have ever met.”
“Thanks!”
“Seriously, if you went out there and told Carrick to dump the mega bitch and be with you, he would in a heartbeat. A fucking heartbeat. How do you not see that?”
Turning to the mirror, I curl my fingers around the edge of the sink as I try to control my emotions. I look up at her in the mirror.
“Because if he did care about me, then he wouldn’t be here with Sienna. That’s not what you do when you care about someone. And it’s definitely not how you show someone that you care.” I bite off the last word.
“You blew him off, Andi! And Carrick is a man who isn’t used to being blown off. You seriously injured his pride, and this is his way of retaliating. I’m not saying it’s right, but it’s obvious that’s why he brought her here. He’s out there with Sienna, trying to show you that he doesn’t care when it’s as clear as glass that he does.”
Is that true? Is that why Carrick brought Sienna here?
No. And to think it would only be pure vanity on my part. I’m not that important to him.
“I don’t think so, and even if he did bring her here for that reason, it doesn’t matter because—”
“He’s a driver, and you can’t be with him! I got the memo on that one. I just…” She lets out a wistful sigh. “You guys would be amazing together. I just wish you could see that.” Turning to pick her clutch from the counter, she finishes with, “I just wish things were different for you, is all. You deserve to be happy.”
I wish for that, too.
“As do you.” I put my arm around her, giving her a half hug.
“You know what you need to do? Shake it off, like Taylor Swift is always telling us to do. Shake off all the Carrick-and-Sienna crap. It’ll make you feel a million times better.”
I let out a laugh as Petra grabs my hands and starts to shake them around. Then, she’s wiggling her body, and I’m laughing and joining in with her.
“Did it work?”
“Actually, it did.” I grin at her.
“Cool. Well, let’s get our hot arses back out there and take a lay of the land. You can forget all about Carrick. And I’m thinking I need to pull me some fine Frenchman tonight and get laid French-style.”
“Is there a French way of getting laid?”
“Dunno.” She shrugs. “But they invented awesome kissing, so I’m betting they fuck just as well, if not better.”
“DRINK?” Petra says into my ear the moment we’re back in the thick of the crowd.
I nod in response.
We head back to where we left Ben and Carrick. My heart starts to pick up pace as we approach, and I’m a little more than relieved to find them gone.
“I wonder where Ben is,” Petra says.
“He’ll be with the guys.” I squish myself into a small gap at the bar to try to get my drink order in.
Petra stands on her tiptoes, looking around. “Ah, yeah, there he is. He’s outside in the seating area with the rest of them.”
Turning my head, I follow her finger in the direction it’s pointing. I can see the guys, some seated around a small table, some standing.
Sadly, Sienna is there, sitting with her back to us, talking with one of the pit guys. Carrick is standing, facing our way, talking to Ben.
Almost like he hears me think his name, his eyes flicker straight in my direction, so I quickly look away, turning back to face the bar, hoping to get the bartender’s attention.
“Why don’t you go over to them?” I say to Petra over my shoulder. “There’s no point in both of us waiting here. It could be ages. I’ll come over with the drinks in a few. You can go chat with Robbie,” I say teasingly.
I told Petra what I’d said to Robbie and all about our fight. She was fine with it, and I was glad because the last thing I would ever want to do is upset her.
“Maybe I will.” She sticks her tongue out at me. “I might even pass up my plans for a French shag if Robbie acts like a normal person for once.”
I let out a laugh, shaking my head. “Go on.” I give her a playful shove.
Watching as she weaves her way through the crowd, I turn back to the bar, sighing at the sight of both the barmen down at the other end of the bar.
The DJ must have just turned up the music, and Calvin Harris’s “I Need Your Love” starts to pump through the speakers.
It’s impossible not to dance to this song, so I find myself moving to the beat, singing along with the words.
I feel a body press against my side. Turning my head, I find Leandro Silva standing next to me.
Holy shit!
Revved Page 20
