They stared at each other for a long moment as Lincoln tried to gauge how serious Theo was. He glanced at the door, then back at Theo. “You always say you love me and you’d do anything for me,” Lincoln pushed, his lips twisting into a sneer. “What do you call this?”
“It’s because I love you and because I’d do anything for you that I can’t allow you to do this,” Theo said in a gentler voice, trying to will Lincoln to see his side for a moment. “I needed to get a hold of you tonight. Ji—”
“I hate you,” Lincoln stormed, outrage flooding his expression. The words hit Theo like a punch to the throat, robbing him of any chance to respond. “You take the fun out of everything. You don’t care about anything but your stupid restaurant.” He bolted into his room and slammed the door shut behind him hard enough to make the window rattle.
Theo sank down on the couch, his throat tight, his thoughts churning. How did this all get to be so damned complicated? The weight and strain of his relationship with Lincoln wore on him sometimes. He missed the easiness they’d once had with each other. Fuck, he missed his old family. Multiple holes had been carved out of him, and it seemed like every time he managed to get it triaged up, the healing wounds reopened.
His phone rang and Theo pulled it out. “Hey, Craig,” he said quietly, eyeing Lincoln’s closed door.
“What happened?” Craig asked in a soft voice.
“He went downstairs to hang with a neighbor. Left his phone behind in the living room. Didn’t even remember to leave a note.” Theo sank back into the couch.
“Oh.” Craig sighed. “We were all dumbasses once.”
“Yeah.” Theo rubbed his chest, replaying it out in his head. “Now he’s pissed because I grounded him and locked himself in his room.” Theo let out his breath in a huff.
“Did you tell him about Jill?”
“Didn’t get a chance. I was about to when he slammed the door in my face. I guess there’s no point in scaring him or guilting him. She’s going to be fine.” Theo hoped he sounded more convincing than he felt. This was a routine thing. That was all. And she had been overdoing it. “She is going to be fine, right?”
“Yeah, she will, seriously, bro. I’ll let you know if you need to worry.” Craig sighed. “Hold up, Lincoln’s texting Jill’s phone. Maybe he checked his messages. I’ll holler at you later.”
Theo hung up the phone, tossed it on the coffee table, then scrubbed his face with his hand. Lincoln hadn’t walked out of the house, so he supposed that was a win, but it didn’t feel like a win. It felt like one fucking huge loss.
Chapter Eighteen
MORRIS FINALLY managed to get Felipe out the door after the angry voices ceased upstairs. He desperately wanted to send Theo a text to check on him, but that look in his eyes earlier stopped him. Theo was so calm and easygoing, Morris never expected that fire. He suspected that anything he had to say would not be welcome until Theo calmed down.
And dammit, who the hell was Theo to make him feel like a bad guy anyway? He wasn’t sure what had crawled up Theo’s ass and died, but he’d killed the fine mood Morris had been in after the success of the get-together and a good night of hanging out and having fun.
Morris straightened up his apartment, tossing leftover bottles and paper plates, sticking glasses in the sink, and returning the table to the kitchen as he tried to figure out what had gone so wrong. They were having a great time. Once Lincoln had lost his shyness, he’d slipped right into being a part of the group. The food had turned out awesome. And then boom. A fired-up, pissed-off Theo came in like a bomb.
He hadn’t given any of them a chance to explain or apologize. Though Morris still didn’t know really what he had to apologize for.
Morris heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway and went to the door. If that was Felipe again, he was going to lose his temper. Enough was enough, go home already, nosy bastard. He always had to be in the middle of things.
Morris stepped outside and saw an unfamiliar car as Lincoln hurried toward it with a bag thrown over his shoulder. He took another step closer, reaching for his cell phone with a sense of alarm. He hoped to hell Lincoln wasn’t trying to sneak out. Unlike Felipe, Morris did not want to be in the middle of this, but he couldn’t in good conscience look the other way either. “Everything okay, Linc?” he called softly.
Lincoln whirled around, clutching his bag to his chest. “Yeah, thanks. I’m going to my sister’s.” He hurried around to the other side of the car as the driver rolled his window down. A white man, about Theo’s age, stuck his head out. He looked tired, and his mouth was set in an uncompromising line. Morris’s heart sank. Wow, Theo and Lincoln had really gotten into it if Lincoln was skipping town in the middle of the night.
“Hey, you Morris?” the man asked.
“Yeah.” A part of his brain said don’t get involved, but dammit, he liked Lincoln, and he really liked Theo, as much as he did not want to admit that right now. There was something going on that went beyond a spat between brothers. He took a step closer to the car as the man smiled faintly.
“It’s okay. Theo knows he’s with me. I’ll bring him back tomorrow.” The man reached through the window, his hand outstretched for a handshake. “I’m Craig Zantzinger, Jill’s husband.”
“Morris Proctor.” Morris clasped his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“I’m not going back,” Lincoln’s muffled, sullen voice came from the car. The man rolled his eyes, and his mouth settled in a hard line. Morris got the impression Lincoln’s night was not going to go as planned by hiding at his sister’s.
“I’ve got to get back home. See you around, Morris.” Craig turned and began backing out of the driveway.
The sound of a door opening had Morris turning to see Theo standing on his front step, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. Morris took a step back from the retreating car and eyed him. He hated confrontations. They tied him up in absolute knots, and the memory of the way Theo had glared at him still stung. But the despondency in Theo’s stance drew him. He wasn’t sure of the reception he’d receive, but he couldn’t leave Theo standing there like some forlorn puppy as Craig and Lincoln pulled out of the driveway and disappeared.
“I broke my jackass pledge already, didn’t I?” Theo’s voice was a rough rasp.
“I don’t know. I suppose that depends on why,” Morris said softly, searching Theo’s face in the dim moonlight filtering through the trees. His eyes were dark and moody, his posture stiff, but the downward turn of his mouth was so sad Morris reached for him before he thought twice about it. Fuck it. He could be irritated with him later.
Theo didn’t say anything, just leaned into him with a sigh. After a long moment, he eased back, his shoulders slumped, his head hanging. “I’m sorry I was a jerk,” he said, not looking at Morris.
He sounded sincere, and that knocked another chunk off Morris’s mad. “Want to talk about it?” Morris offered. “What set you off? He really wasn’t causing any problems being there. He didn’t invite himself if that’s what you were worried about.”
Theo sighed again and then sank down on one of the plastic chairs he had set out on the small landing. “Do you want the long version or the short version?”
Morris hesitated and then folded his body into a second chair. “Let’s start with the short version.” Now that Theo seemed willing to talk, Morris realized he was a little mad, a little hurt for being treated that way, and despite Theo’s apology, he wanted some answers. A fling gave him the freedom to walk away anytime, but Morris would hear him out before he decided.
“Short version.” Theo leaned back in his chair and rubbed his hands along his legs. “Jill went into early labor at work. Craig took her to the hospital and they were able to get it stopped, but now she’s on bed rest until she hits thirty-eight weeks. I’ve been trying to get a hold of Lincoln since then as well as trying to act as both manager and chef in the middle of one of the busiest nights we’ve had in months. I didn’t want him to co
me in, but I wanted him aware of what was going on.”
“Wow, okay, that’s a lot,” Morris relented. And if there was a long version, that meant there was more to the story. Stressful, definitely, but there had been an edge to his voice that spoke of a much deeper pain. “Is she really going to be okay? Your sister?”
“Yeah. She’s fine, actually, just doing too much and her body finally said enough.” Despite his words, Theo still looked worried. “Otherwise, doc said her and the baby were both healthy.”
“That’s good. What else? Go ahead and lay it all out. I know there’s more.” Morris crossed his arms over his stomach. “So there was a personal and professional emergency and you couldn’t get a hold of your brother.”
Theo nodded. “I was already worried, okay, freaking out if I’m honest. So when he still didn’t answer as I was locking up and I got home to find him not there, I panicked. There was no sign he’d been there all day, and he hadn’t left a note. And goddammit, Morris, it was after midnight. Maybe I should’ve chilled out and checked downstairs with you, but when I saw he’d left his phone….” He broke off with a shake of his head.
“Understandable,” Morris said before Theo could go on. “I’ve never had a younger brother, and I certainly have never been in charge of someone like you have responsibility for him. So I guess what to me wouldn’t be a big deal is something else for you. I wish you’d’ve called. I wouldn’t have been able to help at the restaurant, but I could’ve set your mind at ease about Lincoln. Even if he wasn’t here, I would’ve been happy to step upstairs and check on him for you.”
Morris did get it. After all, his own dad would’ve ripped into him too for pulling a stunt like that. But he sensed Theo was still holding back. He was sure there was more to the story, an underlying trauma Theo hadn’t discussed before. He’d picked up hints of it, seen it in the shadows lingering in Theo’s eyes when he looked at his brother. The only thing he could think of was it had to do with their parents’ death.
“Doesn’t excuse me for being a jerk to you. You didn’t do anything wrong, and I’m glad he was here. It’s a little easier to excuse going downstairs than if he’d popped off to a friend’s house without a word. If he’d only had his phone on him….” Theo stared out at the driveway, his shoulders slumping again. “He said he hates me.”
The lost tone in Theo’s voice tugged at Morris’s heart. This fight had really done a number on him. “Don’t you remember being thoughtless at fifteen and a defensive little jerk when you were called out on being thoughtless?”
Morris wasn’t sure in the dim moonlight, but he thought he saw Theo smile faintly. “God yeah. I remember one time we broke into the neighborhood association’s pool for a little midnight skinny-dipping. My mom woke up, couldn’t find me, and called the police. We might’ve gotten away with the breaking and entering, but they sent a patrol car around the neighborhood. We were caught and hauled in, and I blamed her for getting me into trouble. It was humiliating when she came to get me at the police station.”
“Oh great, I’m dating a criminal,” Morris said with a soft chuckle.
“Oh yeah, going off on her didn’t help my cause. I ended up having to do community service on top of the epic grounding I received. That sucked.” Some of the tension bled out of Theo’s voice. “What about you?”
Morris thought about it, running through the many exploits of his teenage years. There had been no brushes with the law. If there had been, his mom and dad would’ve made sure he wouldn’t have lived to regret it.
“My parents had this hard and fast rule about not having anyone over after school until they got home, and we couldn’t go out either. We had to get our homework done, and then we could goof off until they came home. If everything was done, then we could go out or invite someone in.”
“I take it you stomped all over that rule,” Theo said with a faint smile.
Morris smiled too at the memory. He hadn’t thought of this in a long time. “Well, I used to invite my friend over to play video games, but I wasn’t the only one. My twin did it too. Whenever we’d hear our parents coming in, we’d throw our friends out the back door. Then they’d sneak around to the front door to ask if we could go out now.”
“As a teenager I would’ve applauded that level of sneakiness,” Theo said. “We usually had to go straight to the restaurant after school. I did my homework on a back table.”
That was a life Morris couldn’t imagine. His teenage years had been busy enough. “It backfired on me. One day, my sister’s friend left her jacket over the chair and my mom saw it as soon as she walked in the kitchen. Makayla told my parents it belonged to my friend. Nobody can assume an innocent air like her. I couldn’t even really say anything in my defense when I got grounded because I was as guilty as her, but damn, I was pissed at her for a week.”
“I would’ve been too.” Theo folded his hands on his stomach and leaned his head back to look at the sky. “But looking back at it from their perspective, they were in the right and we weren’t. I wonder how long it’s going to take Lincoln to see that.”
“Well, you know how easily mortified teenagers are. Calling him out in front of everybody was sure to get his back up. Not that I blame you. I’m sure I would’ve done the same.” Morris reached over and touched Theo’s knee and caught his gaze. “I saw your face, Theo. You looked like you were about to fall apart.”
“I overreacted. I shouldn’t have done that to either one of you. And if he gives me a chance, I’ll apologize to him for the scene at your place. But I’m not going back on the grounding.” Theo buried his face in his hands. “I’ve got to find a way to reach him without backing down on the rules, you know?”
“I think every parent has a moment like this. I’ve seen my sister have a meltdown over a meltdown from Laila. Try not to beat yourself up over it. I mean, you didn’t tell him you hated him back, right? Or that you wish he wasn’t staying with you? Or anything else emotionally scarring?” Theo shook his head and remained silent. “Okay then, it’ll work out. We’ve all been grounded at one time or another, and though it feels like forever at the time, we usually forget it pretty quick.”
“I didn’t realize it would be so hard,” Theo said softly. “I don’t regret becoming Lincoln’s guardian for one minute, but damn, sometimes I really miss just being his big brother.”
Morris couldn’t even imagine a situation like that, losing both of his parents, having to be the head of their family. The thought was a nightmare. “What happened with your parents, if you don’t mind me asking?”
Theo was silent a long moment, and then he shook his head as if struggling with himself. “My dad got sick. Stage-four colon cancer. He hadn’t been feeling well but resisted going to the doctor’s. Kept saying he was fine. Doctors did nothing but give you more and more medication. By the time my mom nagged him into it, it was too late to stop the progression, and they gave him a couple of months to live.”
Theo stared down at his hands, rubbing them against his knees as if he couldn’t keep still. “It was like the news sucked all the life out of him. He went downhill so fast after that. So fucking fast.”
Morris inched his chair next to Theo’s and slid his arm across his shoulders, bracing himself for more. “Mom spent so much time taking him back and forth from doctor’s visits, stints in the hospital, looking for a hospice or a way he could come home for his final days, on top of trying to micromanage everything at the restaurant until we made her stop.”
That sounded a lot like Theo himself, trying to do everything at once and not giving himself a little break. It sounded like Morris’s oldest sister too. They depended on her to take care of things as they rode along in her wake.
“She was wearing herself so thin. Too thin. She lost weight, couldn’t concentrate. My dad went back to the hospital for a bunch of tests, and whenever it seemed like they’d send him home, they’d change their mind and keep him for more poking and prodding.” Theo went silent again as his
voice hoarsened. Morris squeezed his shoulder.
“We were all so worried about her too. We managed to convince her to go home and sleep instead of spending another night tossing and turning in the chair by his bed. We should’ve picked her up. I don’t know what the fuck we were thinking. We had someone to stay with Dad, but we didn’t send anybody with her.”
“What happened, Theo?” Morris asked before Theo could bog himself down in too much recrimination.
“She left late. I’m not sure how late. She was supposed to text us when she got home. When we didn’t get a message, we all figured she’d gone immediately to bed. I mean, hell, who could blame her for forgetting?” Theo’s body was tense, and his hands moved restlessly on his thighs, rubbing up and down in agitation until he stood up and began pacing. “I called I don’t know how many times that morning. I texted. I checked the hospital, but she wasn’t there. So I went by her house to make her and Lincoln breakfast. It was clear she never made it home.”
Theo stopped moving, his hands falling to his sides. “She fell asleep at the wheel and ran off the road, head-on collision into a tree. They rushed her into surgery. I guess there was confusion about who to contact. They were looking for my dad at home when he was right there in another ward. By the time we heard about it, she was gone.”
“I am so sorry, man,” Morris said softly, his heart aching for the raw pain in Theo’s voice, the lingering fear. No wonder he’d freaked out. He was surprised Theo had held it in as well as he had. Morris knew he would’ve had a hell of a time keeping his cool.
Theo sank back into the chair next to Morris. “Once my dad got the news, he didn’t last long. He gave up.” Theo dropped his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking. “Within a few days, I lost both my parents.”
Morris rubbed his back, remembering when he’d heard the news of Laila’s accident. The agony of waiting and not knowing the outcome. The uncertainty of trying to comfort his sister and brother-in-law and not knowing how he could. It had been a terrible time.
A Little Side of Geek Page 18
