He tightened his grip on her waist and waited for what was coming next.
As the faces of those shrouded were revealed, Penny’s strength gave completely out. As her body started to collapse and then seize, Ice knew what was about to happen. In a flash of speed, he carried her to the side of the room and held her over a sink just in time for her to vomit.
As she coughed and gagged, Jax leaned in and whispered into her ear, “You’ve done enough and I’m taking you out of here right now.”
Penny shook her head and said, “I must finish this so that my family can find rest.” Feeling her legs shaking, she said, “My legs aren’t working right. You might need to hold me so that I can stand.”
“Please Penny. At least take a few minutes to rest.”
“No, I need to do what I came here for so that my family won’t have to spend another second in this awful room.” Thoughts for her family gave her the strength she needed and she forced her body back into a standing position. When she tried to take a step, her fears were realized and her knees gave out under the weight. Jax took ownership of her body and, while holding all of her weight, he carried her back to the exam tables.
This time Penny was more prepared for what was waiting for her. She guided Jax’s hand to the back of her neck and the coldness helped ease the nausea. When the sheets were once again pulled back, she ignored her brothers’ injuries and her mind replaced their features with the mental images of her brothers asleep. Staring at their matching M&M tattoos, she said, “These are my brothers Max and Morgan. They got those tattoos on their twenty-first birthday. Mom was furious, but Dad just laughed.” In their envelopes were matching intricately carved eagle necklaces in pure silver that their father had given them when they became Eagle Scouts. They were extremely treasured by the twins, and they wore them with pride. While clutching the items in her hands and with her voice breaking, she added, “I’ll miss them more than words can say.”
As Jax watched Penny’s pain, he couldn’t help wondering how many other people had hovered over family members that he had personally put on the slab. He had never considered the pain family members might have felt.
When the identification process was completed, the sheets once again shrouded the twins and her brothers returned to her parents’ side.
Penny looked at the technicians and, calling on every bit of strength she could gather, she said, “I want my family removed from this place immediately. They’re to be cremated so that I can take their ashes with me.” Finally making eye contact with the woman in the blue suit, Penny asked, “How soon will they be ready?”
The woman said, “Let’s go into the other room so that we can talk out the details.” She gathered up the contents of each envelope and opened the door to the other room.
Although Penny wanted nothing better than to leave this sterile room, her inability to walk away from her family for the last time took over her every thought. When Jax tried to guide her away, she grabbed onto the edge of a gurney and refused to let go.
Jax motioned everyone out of the room so that he could speak to Penny privately. Once alone, Jax squatted next to Penny and said, “We need to go.”
Feeling the coldness of the metal they were lying on, she said, “But I can’t leave them here like this.”
“You were a wonderful sister and daughter and anyone that saw you with your brothers were envious of how much you cared for each other. But I also know that they wouldn’t want you to remember them this way. It’s time to let them go and let me take care of you.” When he placed his hand on top of her fingers, he said, “Hold on to me.
She slowly released her grip.
As the technician re-entered the room, Jax looked at them and said, “Take good care of them.” The technician nodded.
Moments later, Jax had Penny sitting on the couch with her pinned against his side. As his arm wrapped protectively around her, he made all of the arrangements for the bodies. The group memorial would be in three days at the crash site and the ashes would be ready the day after. Penny signed papers blindly and, when she blinked, she instantly found herself being helped into Jax’s vehicle with the envelopes already tucked next to the seat waiting for her. She hadn’t remembered leaving the building.
As Jax clicked in her seatbelt, she noticed the fingernail gouges on his hands. She grabbed his hand and while gently rubbing the marks she had dug into his skin, she said, “I hurt you.”
His hand instantly reached up and caressed her cheek. “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Do you want to get something to eat before heading back to the hotel?”
She shook her head. “I fear anything I eat wouldn’t stay down. Just take me to a hotel.”
After he got into the driver’s seat, he pulled out a roll of LifeSavers from his pocket and handed a candy to her. She took it with gratitude.
Jax stopped at a nice hotel as a way to offer some comfort to a very distraught companion. She didn’t even argue with him over spending the extra money and, as soon as they entered the room, Jax watched helplessly as Penny walked silently into the bathroom and closed the door. As he listened to the water filling the tub, Jax called Sam. When Susi got on the phone and he gave her details of the day, he ended the conversation with, “I had no idea that a Human could show such strength. Penny didn’t even cry.”
She replied solemnly, “That isn’t a good sign.”
“Why?”
“Because that means she’s holding in all of her pain. Eventually her strength is going to give out and the barrier she has built up inside is going to crash down. When it does, her emotions are going to burst to the surface.”
“What do I do if that happens?”
She replied calmly, “Just be there for her. She must let it out and the tears will stop in time.”
After he hung up the phone, he put on his night pants, pulled down the bedding, and sat back against the headboard. He stared at a blank television screen and waited anxiously for Penny to return. He had no idea what he would do if she broke down. Watching her cry in pain would be unbearable. For the first time in his life, he felt genuine fear.
Chapter 26 - Nightmare
As Jax contemplated on what he could say or do to help ease Penny’s pain, he was yanked back to the moment by a heart-wrenching scream. In a flash, he threw open the bathroom door to find Penny crying and thrashing in the water. He raced to her side and grabbed her in an attempt to prevent her from hurting herself. When he heard her begging for someone to put out the fire and save her family, he knew she was locked in a nightmare.
As he tried to hold her, her eyes shot open and, when she saw Jax, she scrambled out of the tub and threw herself into his arms. She wrapped her wet, shaking body around his with a death grip and started to cry hysterically. Between sobs she continued to call out to her family, apologizing for not being there to save them.
Jax tried to talk to her, but she was beyond consoling. When he attempted to separate her from his body, she screamed and clung onto him so tightly that her fingernails dug into his skin and left trails of blood down his sides. Not sure what else to do, he sat on the bathroom floor and wrapped his arms around her. Since she was wet and naked, he draped a towel over her back in an attempt to warm her, although he knew that her trembles weren’t from the cold.
They stayed locked together for almost an hour. When her sobs finally started to slow, he said, “Penny, let go so that I can help you get dressed.” She shook her head defiantly and tightened her grip. She needed his touch so badly her body refused to give him up.
Since she was now becoming physically cold to the touch, he carried her into the other room. When he tried to lay her in the bed, she made it perfectly clear that she wasn’t going to let go without a fight. Knowing that he would have to hurt her in order to separate her from his body, he awkwardly crawled into bed with her still pinned to his chest. Once he was lying flat on his back he pulled the covers over both of them and wrapped his arms around her.
After lying together silently for a very long time, Penny said with her voice hoarse, “I should’ve been with them and died at their side.”
“No, you were meant to live.”
“How could they leave me all alone?”
Feeling her pain stab him in his heart, he replied, “You aren’t alone. I’m here.” Before she could respond to his words, he said sweetly, “Shhh. Go to sleep.”
Although he was with her now, she feared that he would leave during the night. Not being able to handle the idea of being alone, she begged between sniffles, “Please don’t leave me tonight.”
“I told you I was never leaving you alone again and I meant it. I’m staying right here to protect you and will be here when you wake.”
Once she realized that he wasn’t going to push her away, she relaxed her grip just enough to reposition herself so that her cheek was resting on his chest. The very slow methodic rhythm of his heartbeat calmed her and, in time, she fell asleep.
At her normal two o’clock timing, Jax’s eyes opened when Penny stirred. He watched silently as she crawled off his body and got out of bed. With his night eyes, he watched her silhouette disappear into the bathroom. He was shocked to find that his body instantly missed the heat that radiated off her. A few minutes later, he watched as she came back into the room. He expected her to return with clothes on but, to his delight, she was still naked. Even more surprisingly, she crawled back on top of him and, seconds later, he felt her slow, deep breathing that told him she had gone instantly back to sleep. He wiggled into her touch and, after wrapping his arms around her again, he also fell into a deep, contented sleep.
The next day when Jax finally woke, he looked at the clock and saw that it just after lunch. When he glanced down at Penny, he found her in the exact same position that she fell asleep in. She was sprawled out on top of him with her legs and arms still holding onto him with a vice grip.
Jax sensed that she was awake and asked, “How are you feeling today?”
In a very raspy voice she replied, “I’m okay.”
“Do you want to get up?”
Penny remained motionless, once again listening to Jax’s heartbeat. If it was up to her, she would’ve stayed in the same position forever. Knowing she couldn’t, she asked, “What time is it?”
“It’s after lunch.”
Without thinking, she sat up on his hips with a start, exclaiming “You mean you’ve been stuck with me pinning you to the bed all night?”
Seeing her naked body on display for him made him smile internally. Even with red, puffy eyes, he found her stunning. Unsure as to where to put his hands, he ended up resting them on her hips to steady her. He replied, “All except when you got up to go to the bathroom.”
Penny gave him a confused expression and said, “I don’t remember getting up.”
“I’m not sure you were actually awake.”
She looked down at herself, suddenly realizing that she was still naked. She quickly crawled off of him and covered herself with the sheet. She looked away and, to divert his attention from her warm cheeks, she said, “Once again, I’m so sorry for the sleeping arrangements. This time you really should’ve thrown me to the side.”
He teased in an attempt to lighten the moment, “It’s tough having a beautiful, naked, woman pressed against me all night, but somehow I survived the experience.” In reality, he would have given up his own life before he would have pushed her away. Sensing her continued unease, he suggested, “Why don’t you jump in the shower and then put something comfortable on. We’ll stay in today and I’ll have food delivered.”
Penny finally made eye contact with him again and gave him a genuine smile of pure gratitude. She hesitated getting out of the bed, trying to decide whether to bring the sheet so that she could remain covered. She then rolled her eyes and yelled at herself for acting like a child. She just spent an entire night with her naked body pressed against him, so she left the sheet and walked toward the bathroom. When she reached the door, she stopped abruptly and turned to Jax. With all color drained from her face, she asked, “Would you stay nearby while I’m in the shower?”
Jax could hear her raised pulse and see the fear in her eyes. Guessing that she was afraid of being alone, he said, “I promise I won’t leave the room.”
Although she would have felt better with him in the shower next to her, she couldn’t gather enough courage to ask. Instead she said, “I’m going to leave the bathroom door open too, just in case…”
He nodded in acknowledgement and replied, “If you need me, I’ll be in there in a flash.”
Penny nodded and forced her feet toward the shower.
While she was bathing, Jax dressed, ordered food, and then stepped next to the window to call Susi. While one ear was listening to the phone ring, the other was locked on Penny so intensely he could hear her breathing.
When Susi answered, she asked with genuine concern in her voice, “I’ve been waiting for your call. How’s she doing today?”
“It was a rough night. You were right. She had a terrible nightmare and completely broke down. She cried for hours. I wasn’t sure she was ever going to stop.”
“Where is she now?”
“She’s in the shower. Susi, I should never have brought her on this trip. She needs comfort that I don’t know how to give. I’m so far over my head and don’t have a clue what to do.”
Hearing his genuine concern for another person brought warmth to her heart. She said, “You’re an incredibly strong man and I know you can do this. Just be there for her. Your inner strength will help her see this through.”
When he heard the shower stop, he said, “Penny’s coming back and I don’t want her to think I left her, so I need to run.”
“Call me whenever you can and give Penny a hug from all of us here.”
“I will.” He then shut the phone and quickly moved toward the bathroom.
Penny emerged in one of Jax’s shirts and said apologetically, “I hope you don’t mind. If we’re staying in, I wanted to be comfortable.”
He gave her a smile and said, “PJs it is.” He picked up a clean pair of night pants and, as he walked to the bathroom, he said, “Food should be here soon. I left money on the table.” Before he disappeared through the door, he turned around and said, “Second thought, don’t answer the door looking like you do. Come get me.”
She looked down at herself, clearly not understanding what he meant. Maybe he thought she looked so bad she would scare the delivery man away. Seeing her disbelief, he rolled his eyes and closed the bathroom door behind him.
Shortly after he emerged again, a delivery man knocked at the door. Jax refused to let him in until Penny was wrapped up in a blanket. She thought the gesture was very sweet. Once she was properly covered, he opened the door and a man carried in drinks and a large, thin box. After he was paid and left the room, Penny walked over to the table and examined what was delivered. She wasn’t hungry but, since Jax went to all the trouble of ordering it, she felt obligated to at least take a bite no matter what he bought.
Once the box was opened, she stared down at a large Hawaiian pizza and said, “My favorite. Wow, they even shredded both the ham and pineapple like I like it.” Jax didn’t offer the fact that he gave them explicit instructions on how he wanted it made.
A few minutes later, another delivery arrived at the door. After Penny was once again hidden, Jax let in two delivery boys from a local grocery store, who carried in several bags heaped full of food. After Penny did an inventory of what was in the bags, she looked back at Jax. “These are all some of my favorites. How in the world do you always know what I like?”
He shrugged his shoulders and said, “Another lucky guess.” But she knew there was more to this than luck and that his Changeling skills had to be involved in some way. It was a mystery she planned to solve some day.
With a bag of classic potato chips, she crawled onto the bed and clicked on the television. To Penny’s great relief, J
ax came over and sat down next to her. As soon as he was settled into position, she moved her foot so that it pressed against his leg. When he adjusted the pillows behind him causing him to scoot away slightly, her leg stretched out quickly so that she was touching him again. Although her movements seemed to be unconscious to her, it was obvious to Jax that she needed to be in constant physical contact with him. To help her unspoken need, he scooted in closer and allowed her to lean against him. As they touched, he felt the tension in her body relax significantly.
Penny flipped through television channels until she stopped on a reality series about fighting over an overly expensive wedding dress. She decided to try to lighten the mood from the rough night she put him through so she wiggled her fake engagement ring at him and gave him a smile.
Impressed with her attempt at humor, he took the television remote from her, saying “Women should never be allowed control of the clicker.” He took over the search and stopped when he found what he was looking for—a low budget disaster movie.
As the movie started, Penny smiled and said, “This is a good one. They try to blow up an asteroid before it hits earth.”
Jax asked, “Since you’ve seen this one, would you rather watch something else?”
She shook her head. “No, I love these stupid movies.”
While lounging in their pajamas, they watched a marathon of silly stories. Jax wanted to talk to her about her nightmare but, since he didn’t know what to say, he decided to remain quietly at her side and let her offer the information when she was ready. He did initiate a short debate on the lack of science in the solutions the movies had devised. His theories made an occasional chuckle escape her mouth, making his attempt all the worthwhile.
When the sunset announced the end of a long day and Jax hadn’t left the room once, Penny said, “It would be okay if you need to step out for a while.” Although the thought of being alone made her tremble, she knew that he most likely needed a breath of fresh air to clear his lungs of her Human scent.
Knight Shift Page 24
