"Both my parents are still alive. I might speak to my dad once a year or something, but it's rather casual, like the right thing to do rather than any type of honest emotion. When I was a kid he made sure I had my books, enough money, and food. He worked most of the time, and we barely spoke, but if not for him I probably would have lacked the very basics to survive. So I guess I'm just grateful to him, and I stay in contact because of it. Surprisingly enough, he's still with my mother who is pretty much the definition of a stone-hearted woman. She doesn't care for him, always ignored me, and I think I probably would have died if I'd been left with just her as my parent. She actually made it a point to stay locked in her room whenever my dad wasn't at home, and I might be. So despite living in the same house I barely saw her. My parents are a bit of a difficult subject. They certainly never helped me feel wanted," I finished, staring at the table, uncomfortable and sad.
"I'm not gonna say I'm sorry again, but the truth of the matter is, some people are not cut to be parents, and others simply don't deserve it. You've been dealt a sucky hand. What I can do is make the present better, if you'll let me." Adam reached and tapped my chin with his finger, encouraging me to lift my head.
There was only sincerity in his eyes, something I was getting used to with Adam. Part of me even felt sorry for him, because he was so obviously stuck on me despite all my flaws. But I shushed that part quickly and just nodded, wanting Adam to convince me in everything he believed in.
"As for subjects, don't worry about it," I said. "I kind of like the fact that I'm getting to know the real you and with each depressing secret I tell, you'll either love me more or make a quick escape. At this point I would prefer the former, but latter will give me closure and spare me all the pining." Smirking, Adam reached forward and trailed one finger down my jaw. I was just about smitten.
"You're probably right. I keep waiting for us to fit some kind of a mold, but in all actuality, I do like knowing things about you, and sharing my issues makes me more secure if that makes sense." Looking straight into his eyes I agreed and wished I was closer to him, that I could just lean on his shoulder and silently ask for comfort.
"Forget about molds and expectations. We're taking this at our own pace. We just have to communicate this time because I don't think I can handle another silent treatment like last time," Adam whispered, making me feel instantly guilty.
"I'm really sorry about that," I whispered. "I know you said there's still time to share, but I should just come out with it." I took a deep breath and continued before Adam could interrupt. "I freaked out. And badly, too. Nothing was going right. You looked even better without the beard than I could have expected, then I messed the whole night up with my clumsiness, and I couldn't stop staring. One thing at a time I ruined the whole night, so I ran. By the time I got home I had convinced myself you were better off without me, plus there was no way I was facing you with how horrified I was by my behavior." I stopped, not sure what else to say.
"But I really didn't see it as a disaster you think happened. Sure, you were a bit clumsy, but overall I had a good time, and I couldn't figure out what I'd done wrong." Adam gave me this wounded puppy look and I just couldn't handle it anymore. I stood and circled the table to him then leaned down and just hugged him the best I could while still standing.
Adam wrapped his arms around me, tugging until he had me in his lap. His scent was familiar, masculine, and arousing, but the hard muscle under my hands was something I'd conveniently forgotten since the previous night.
Then a group of teenage girls at the next table started whistling and clapping at us and while I was flattered, their reaction was way out of my comfort zone, and I detangled myself from the hug, ready to leave.
Adam relaxed his grip, but I could tell he was pleased. I stood, and he quickly paid, saying he was the one taking me out. His hand lingered on my back as he led me to the door and outside, and while we faced each other on the sidewalk, Adam took hold of my hand and said softly, "Thank you. I really needed that."
But despite his words there was still that delicious sense of anticipation between us, as we stood there oblivious to the crowd once again, staring at each other's eyes. So naturally, something had to break the moment, and when the car honked somewhere too close to us, we startled enough to break contact and take in our surroundings.
"This was an amazing second date," Adam said, sliding his hands in his pockets.
"This time I completely agree." I smiled at him.
"I'll call you as soon as I'm free," he assured me.
"I'm looking forward to it," I told him with the same grin on my face, then gave him a small, awkward wave and left, almost bouncing on my way home.
Chapter Ten
Adam
I must have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed that morning because nothing seemed to want to go right. One of my kids took a bad fall during practice and while he was essentially all right, he would still miss at least one practice, not to mention the overall worry that lingered afterwards in the group.
The gym was closed for renovations and I couldn't bother by looking for another one just for two days so I went home, frustrated. I'd barely taken off my shoes when my phone rang.
"Adam?" Hayley asked on the other end.
"What's up?" I dropped down on my couch and closed my eyes.
"Mom tripped over Kaylee and fell down the porch steps. She's fine other than her leg, but that's a double fracture and she's in surgery now. I need you to come. I don't know how long she'll be immobile and I need you to either help with the kids or with her." Fucking stupid cat. I could tell Hayley was worried just by the sound of her voice. But it was our mom, and just her saying there was something wrong had my heart jumping to my throat.
"I'll be there as soon as I can. Probably tonight. I can stay for two weeks, then I'll have to come back for a time to sort things out again. We'll figure it out. Don't worry." With the most confidence I could muster I comforted both her and myself.
"Thanks, Adam. I'm a mess and they did say she was gonna be all right and probably won't have such a difficult recovery, but it's Mom. I can't help but worry." Hayley sighed and I imagine she would have smoked at least a part of a pack if the hospital allowed it.
"I'll handle my work and book a ticket and come to your place first thing tonight. So I'll see you in a few hours. Don't worry; love you." I was on my feet, already thinking about what I'll need for such a long stay.
"Love you too, big brother." Hayley hung up and I started dialing the shop right away.
"Misa, it's me," I said to the girl who usually worked the morning shift. "I have a family emergency, so I need you and Jill to push forward all my appointments for two weeks. It would be better if you could transfer them to someone else because I probably won't be back for more than a few days before going back to Deli."
"Is everything all right?" she asked worriedly.
"It's fine. It will be anyway. Just please handle the situation for me. I'll get back to you as soon as I know more details. Thanks."
"Consider it done. Take care, boss," she said and hung up.
Next I called a coach friend of mine who usually trained older kids if he could take on mine for a while. He agreed with a simple, You owe me now, Herter.
I opened my small carry on suitcase and started sorting through my toiletries, throwing in what I might need while I dialed Troy. It's been some four days since our last date and I had to let him know I was leaving for two weeks now that we were finally on the same page. It rang once, and I put the phone in between my ear and shoulder as I kept trying to find eye drops.
"Hi, Adam." Troy answered and I could hear the smile in his voice.
"Hey, Troy. I just called to let you know… Shit!" I yelled as I cut my fingers on an uncovered disposable razor and dislodged my phone. I heard the splash as it dropped down the toilet and at that point I probably just stood there for long few seconds and stared at it at the bottom of the bowl unable to get over my
astonishment. This just couldn't be happening.
I reached down to fish it out when I noticed the blood on that hand, and I cursed again. Sticking my left into the water I picked up the phone and wiped it as best as I could one handed against the towel. Then I handled my cut and packed the rest of my toiletries before sitting down on the couch, phone in hand and praying it would start. Naturally, the day just hated me, and the phone stayed annoyingly black. The worst thing was, I only knew Noah's number and my mom's landline by heart. Most of the others kept changing theirs way too often for me to bother.
Cursing again, I finished packing and figured I would just have to sort everything out when I get to my mom's and try and recover my card, buy a new phone. I shook my head. There were more important things to think about right then.
*~*~*
Mom was released home the next day, but everything else was pure chaos. She was embarrassed for her son to see her so vulnerable, not to mention naked since she needed help bathing, dressing and with just about most of other things.
Hayley couldn't be there twenty-four seven and after the hell that were the first two days, we worked out a system. I took care of her kids in the morning while she handled Mom. I had the day duty and she would drop by right after work while I drove the kids back. The night was somewhat easier since the kids tended to go to bed before Mom, but overall I could feel my own nerves thinning.
Our mom had never been that difficult before, but add an injury and helplessness, I suppose all people change for the worse. It seemed like she was never happy and had a remark for every little detail. I couldn't cook as well as she did. She sorted the dishes differently and I was definitely messing up her kitchen. It seemed as if I hadn't lived alone for the past twenty years and was absolutely incompetent.
I was outside kicking a trash can despite the pain in my foot when Hayley came out. "Don't take it to heart so much. She's just in pain and helpless and hates it."
"Don't you think I fucking know that? But she keeps finding things to nag about no matter how insignificant they are. Does it really matter how I fold the shitty napkin next to her plate? It's a fucking napkin!" I turned on Hayley despite knowing she was anything but to blame for the situation.
"Yeah, I know. We just have to get through it and hope she'll be on her feet soon. The boys are finding it hard too, and I can't just bring them into this atmosphere yet. In the end, I don't want them to know this version of her. God knows both of us love her to death, but I think it's all right if we hate her just a little bit right now, too." She smiled at me, and there was no helping my amused huff at that. I reached for her and pulled her into a hug.
"I don't have my phone. I have no idea what's happening at home and I haven't even called the shop in four days. I also didn't tell Troy I was leaving for two weeks and I'm terrified it will ruin what little of the same ground we'd managed to accomplish," I confided leaning some of my weight on her.
"Why don't you go and handle that tomorrow with the kids, and call the shop now. Maybe Zach has Troy's number." She offered a solution.
"No, he won't know it, and there's no way I'll get him on the phone. He's been taking care of my paperwork in addition to his job and I'm betting he's helping the girls with all the disgruntled clients. But the twins know it for sure, and I can call Noah directly. He has the same number for private calls he's had for years. It's just ridiculous that a celebrity kept the same number while every single one of the regular guys I know have changed it four or five times since I've known them," I bitched and it felt good to let out some of the steam.
"Go on. Call him. I'll handle mom for a little while." Hayley pushed me toward the door and I conveniently avoided mom's room and hid in the living room.
As I waited for Noah to pick up, I kept thinking Troy and I would be all right. I disappeared, true, but everything was good between us, and once Noah or the twins explained things to him I could handle the rest when I got back.
"Adam?" I heard loud music and people screaming in the background.
"Shit. You're not home?" I slapped a palm against my stubble covered cheek. That fucking razor was to blame for everything and despite buying another one, I'd barely had time to look myself in the mirror, let alone shave.
"We're guests on a TV show and we have three concerts lined up for the next week and a half. Then I'll be back home," he yelled into the phone.
"I'm sorry to bother you then, but could I ask a favor?" I really was reluctant. Noah's schedule when working was overwhelming and the last thing I wanted was to add to it.
"Sure, go ahead. I have a couple of minutes to listen."
"My mom broke her leg and I dropped my phone in the toilet before I got here, so I haven't managed to let Troy know I'd be gone. I only know your number by heart and I figured Zach was too overwhelmed at the shop to even register what I had to say."
"Oh, yeah. He's barely seen Archer in days. The little one's been staying with the twins and in daycare." Noah added.
"Shit. Now I feel even worse." I rubbed my eyes.
"Don't worry about it. You were there for him when his asshole of an ex left and you've been helping out every chance you got. Both of us would do a lot for you man. Just take care of your mom," Noah said with confidence and it made me feel a little better.
"Thanks, man. Can you tell the twins to let Troy know what's happened? Or to get the number to me somehow?" I asked hopefully.
"Shit man, I have to go. But I'll speak to Zach or call the twins tonight. We'll sort it out. Don't worry," Noah assured me then quickly said his goodbyes before hanging up.
"Did you handle everything?" Hayley asked from behind me.
"Noah has concerts, but he said he was gonna contact Troy somehow. I hope it all works out. How is she?" I leaned my head back and looked at her.
"Sleeping, and that's always a relief." She sat down next to me.
"I've been here almost five days and we've barely spoken to each other. Does Cody know? Coming back soon?" I nudged her with my shoulder.
"God, I have so much to do it didn't even occur to me. We wouldn't be speaking now if I hadn't organized the sleepovers. Luckily the boys have so many friends." Hayley blew a puff of air, making her bangs flip up. "Cody should get leave in two months, maybe. This has been a long damn year."
"That's not so long," I ventured, thinking how I hadn't seen her husband in years now.
"True. Could be longer. But I haven't heard from him in a while. He went on a mission and didn't know when he would be back." She looked at me and it was obvious how worried she was.
"He'll be all right. It's not his first tour nor mission; he'll get back to his family." I hugged her closer, wishing I could do something to improve the situation.
"Yeah, probably. But I was thinking, we should try and find a day nurse or something for mom. This is somewhat working only because you're here. But you can't just uproot your life indefinitely." Hayley looked at me without disrupting the hug.
"How about we move her to your place? I know you don't want the kids to see her that way, but she's stubborn, she might want to go to the bathroom on her own during the night here. Imagine if she fell again? I'm thinking you could have a nurse watch her while you're at work, and maybe ask the kids to entertain her while you work around them in the afternoon. I doubt she'll have the heart to be vicious towards them. I'll pay for the nurse of course. Hell, I'll even ask around for one." I started thinking where I could find a day nurse and remembered an online site I'd placed ads at when I needed Misa.
"That will help. You'll come back, right?" Her gaze was filled with expectation.
"Yeah. But if we manage to find a nurse this week, I was thinking of coming over the weekends. I figure she should be able to walk with help a bit by then and I wouldn't have to leave the shop during the week."
"It could work. But you're on your own during the weekend, her bitching or not." Hayley laughed at my expression. "I'm just kidding. I'll try and catch up with things while you're here.
It's not like I'll be able to just leave her and the kids alone in the afternoon."
"I like how we work together." Mumbling I kissed the side of her head. "We'll make the best of this."
"You betcha, big brother." Hayley squeezed my thigh and I was grateful once again for having such a great relationship with her. It just might help me to endure the next ten days.
Chapter Eleven
Troy
After the disconnected call, I assumed something had happened to Adam's phone and figured he would eventually call back. There was plenty to do at work and I just couldn't afford to stress over it. But when by the time I got home there were still no calls, I got somewhat worried and tried calling instead of just waiting.
Unfortunately the call disconnected, and while it didn't help alleviate my fears, I figured my theory of a broken phone was still in place. Adam had said he would call when he was free to meet, and I'd decided to believe him.
By day five my worry must have been obvious because Kay stopped on her way to lunch and dragged me out with her.
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" she asked between bites.
"I'm not sure. I guess I'm just worried," I confessed, picking at my food.
"Worried about what?"
"I haven't heard from Adam in a while. We spoke a few days ago, sort of." I took a moment to think about it. "He called wanting to tell me something when the connection broke and his phone has been disconnected since then."
"I'm sure he's all right. Probably something happened to his phone and he hasn't had a chance to fix it. Have you tried his work or land line?"
"No. I'll wait a few more days. I'll call Michael today, he might know what's up." With the rush of thoughts through my mind, it occurred to me that I really just might be over reacting. "Do you think I'm just blowing it out of proportion? I'm going around checking up on him. It seems a bit stalkerish. Doesn't it?"
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