by Kahlen Aymes
“Alex is no one’s boyfriend!” Angel admonished. “Even if he were, I wouldn’t ask his permission. You know me better than that. But, it’s moot.” She paused, unsure how much she should say. “I’m not seeing him anymore.” She concentrated on keeping her voice steady despite the ache the words caused. The burning behind her eyes resulted in tears welling up. She blinked rapidly and turned away so Kenneth wouldn’t see, absently digging around in her desk drawer.
Kenneth’s tone softened. “Avery’s reputation is what it is, but I never expected him to be through with you so soon.”
Her cheeks burned at the implication, but she had no desire to give the wrong impression either. “Naturally, you assume it’s up to him.” She scowled, anger a welcome distraction from the ache in her throat. “That just pisses me off! This is my decision and it has nothing to do with Alex. He’s been… really wonderful.”
There was a long pause as Kenneth digested the information. “I’m not sure if I’m relieved you’re not with the guy or frustrated because I’m not the reason why. I hoped after this affair burned out, you’d want to try again.”
Angel’s face crumpled. “Kenneth, I can’t.” Her voice broke slightly. “I’m not leaving Alex because I don’t want to be with him. Swanson has threatened to hurt him and I can’t risk that.”
“Oh, I see.” He sighed. “If you feel this strongly, just tell him what’s going on and agree not to see each other until this is over.”
She shook her head adamantly. “I wish it were that easy. My conscience won’t let me abandon what’s right, and Alex isn’t the type to wait in the wings. God knows what he’d do. He’s not as invincible as he thinks he is, and I don’t want him hurt.”
“Don’t you think ending the relationship will hurt him?”
“His ego may be bruised, and I expect he’ll be madder than hell, but better that than the alternative. If anything happened to him, I’d never forgive myself.” She closed her eyes against the sting.
“Did you ever consider that even if you stop seeing Avery, Swanson might not believe you’re done with him?”
“I’m not a moron,” Angel almost spat out.
Kenneth sat still as stone and studied her absolute resolve until she shifted in her seat.
“Look, I have a full load of patients today, and I need to get my shit together.”
He stood reluctantly and came around the desk, pulling her up by her hand and hugging her gently. “I’m here if you need me. Don’t do anything stupid. I’ll stall this thing as long as I can.”
“Thank you.”
After Kenneth left, Angel sank back into her chair and let her head fall onto her arms on the top of her desk. Her shoulders shook in an effort to hold it together. The loss and regret overwhelmed her. She knew that she’d have to be stronger than ever when she faced Alex. He was a predator who was used to winning, and he wouldn’t play fair. He’d pull out every weapon in his arsenal to prove just how much power he held over her. Power her heart already acknowledged without hesitation.
She felt physically ill when she considered the scene she’d have to get through, what she would need to do to convince Alex she wanted him out of her life. She grabbed the black wastebasket from under her desk and vomited up the latte and what little breakfast she’d had earlier. The convulsions continued until dry heaves racked her slight form. When they finally subsided, she sat back and grabbed a tissue from her sideboard next to her desk, wiping at her mouth and then at the tears clinging to her lashes. Angel picked up the phone and buzzed Liz.
“Yes?”
“I can’t see patients today. I’m ill. Please call and reschedule my appointments.”
“Are you okay? Do you need anything?”
“No, thank you. I just need to go home.”
“Okay, Angel. I’ll take care of everything.”
“Thank you.”
Angel stood on shaky legs and pulled both of her phones from her purse. Of course, there was a message from Alex.
Hey, babe, it’s me. I thought I’d take you out to dinner. I’ll have Mrs. Dane make reservations wherever you’d like. Meetings this morning but I’ll touch base over lunch. Talk to you soon.
How easy it would be to allow things to continue as they had been. Every second with him had been magical. She loved the thrill of thinking about him and knowing that every night she could be wrapped in his arms if that was what she wanted. Except, she wouldn’t be.
Suddenly, she was desperate to put it off for one more day. She pushed his phone aside and picked up the other phone, quickly dialing her best friend.
“Hey, stranger!”
“Hi, Becca. Can you meet me tonight? Just you?”
Becca heard the weariness in Angel’s voice; the stuffiness of her nose was a clear sign she’d been crying.
“I think so. I’ll ask Mom to watch Jilly. Are you okay?”
“Oh, sure.” Angel forced an enthusiastic tone she didn’t feel. “I just miss you.”
“Okay! Where and what time?”
“My place? It doesn’t matter when. I’m going home early.”
“Sure. Should I bring anything?”
“No, I’ll stop and pick some stuff up on my way home.”
“Is Alex out of town? I didn’t think you’d ever come up for air!” Becca laughed happily.
Angel was not willing to disclose anything until she saw Becca in person; she needed time to get her game face on. “So, around six?”
“What’s wrong, Angel?” Becca asked, the somber tone of her friend giving her mood away.
“I’ll tell you tonight. I promise.” She brushed the remnant tears from under her eyes and gathered her purse.
“Okay. See you then.”
“Thanks.”
Angel leaned back in her high-backed leather chair and closed her eyes. She cleared her throat. It was now or never. “Fuck my life.”
* * *
“Is she home?” Alex asked as the door shut heavily behind him.
Cole’s eyes roamed over his brother’s unusual appearance. He was without a jacket or tie, shirt untucked, sleeves rolled halfway up his forearms, and the dark shadow of a day and a half’s worth of beard covering his jaw.
“Yes. Since early afternoon.” Cole was in the process of moving into Angel’s building and overseeing the installation of the new security system after Avery’s purchase was final. “She passed me in the hall but seemed distracted. I don’t think she even noticed.”
Angel hadn’t answered his request for dinner, and he’d been unable to reach her all day. So he ended up in the room that was supposed to be Cole’s living room but now looked more like a security office with several monitors that wired into cameras placed around the entire building.
Alex, hands on hips, looked closely at the screens. “Where the fuck is Bancroft? He was supposed to be watching her, wasn’t he?” Tension filled him, tightening the muscles of his arms and shoulders with a painful burn.
“Downtown, digging around to find out how much weight Swanson’s mob connections afford him. It doesn’t look like the organization gives a fuck about the guy. He’s basically a joke. It doesn’t help him that the girl is Marvin Standish’s niece.” Anyone connected in Chicago, knew that the Standish family was heavy into the mob, even though they had legitimate business fronts as well. The man attended some of the same events as Alex did and his wife ran in some of the same circles as the wives of other Chicago businessmen. His kids played in the same sports leagues. Most people knew but it wasn’t exactly a topic of conversation. “I’m surprised he’s still breathing, to be honest, but then his sister Carol is married to one of them. I doubt his sister’s husband is significant, so I doubt they will protect him or retaliate, but we should still be careful, Alex.”
“I’m paying him to watch her!”
Cole frowned as he glanced toward his brother. “Alex, are you listening? This is great news! No one is going to save this dude’s ass by pouring money into his business.
Three of his locations are already closed. It’s happening just the way you planned.”
Two hands ran through his thick mop of dark hair as he inhaled deeply. “Bancroft should’ve been doing his fucking job!” The tenor of his words bounced off the walls and echoed around the empty apartment.
“Alex!” Cole said sharply. “She’s safe, for Christ’s sake!”
“Until that fucker is locked up or so broke he can’t afford to take a cab across the street, I want someone watching her around the clock! Is that clear, Cole?” He leaned down, looking closely at the monitor that was trained on the hallway in front of Angel’s apartment. Cole turned and stared at his profile, watching the muscle twitch in Alex’s jaw. “I said, is that clear?” His voice was menacingly low.
“Alex, I know I’m just a hired hand, but I’m still your older brother. Remember that.” Cole got up and went into the kitchen, pulling two beers from the refrigerator.
Alex waved the proffered can away and Cole’s brows rose.
“You need a drink. Take it.” He offered it again and Alex reluctantly took it.
“Only one, Cole. You can’t protect her if you’re drunk.” His voice was softer now.
“Aren’t you on your way over there? I figure I can get some sleep as long as she’s with you.”
“I don’t know.” Alex opened the can and downed half of the contents in one long pull.
“Since when? You always architect every move you make.”
“I’ve uh…” he paused. “It’s the Angel affect, I guess.” The corner of his mouth quirked slightly. “Sorry about before. The guy’s slime, and he openly threatened her.”
“He threatened you both. Don’t forget that.”
Alex shrugged and sank to the floor, leaning his back against a wall, his legs out in front of him as he finished the beer. “He’s not interested in me, but I need to take care of Angel… she doesn’t make it easy. But you’re right. I shouldn’t take it out on you. Bancroft, on the other hand, will hear about it.”
Cole sat back down in front of the monitors and adjusted something in front of him. “She had a visitor earlier, a woman. Pretty, with long blonde hair.”
“That would be her best friend, Becca. Is she still there?” Alex pulled out his phone, longing to see that Angel had returned his message. He frowned at the blank screen. “What the hell is going on?” he murmured under his breath.
“No, she left around 10:30. She’s gorgeous, too, Alex.”
“Don’t get any ideas.” The last thing Alex needed was Cole to become distracted; plus, he wasn’t convinced his brother was up to a woman with a kid and he didn’t want either Becca or Jillian to become fallout. He might be changing his ways, but Alex wasn’t confident it would stick just yet.
Cole smiled. “Are you going to call her?”
Alex shook his head and rose to his feet. “I’m going over. I’ll check in with you in the morning.”
When he found himself in front of Angel’s door, his ears strained to hear something from inside. Was she asleep already? His mind cranked through the possibilities about her lack of contact. His hand connected with the wood in four loud raps. “Angel?” he called.
The door opened and Angel appeared in a pair of navy blue sweat-shorts and a white tank top. Her eyes were red and swollen, her hair falling down around her face in a rumpled mess from the topknot.
His eyes swept over her face and then the soft curves of her body, as relief washed over him. “Why didn’t you answer my calls? Are you okay? I was worried.” He walked toward her, taking for granted that she’d allow him in, sliding his arms around her waist and kissing her on the temple.
Angel closed her eyes briefly, letting herself inhale his scent before she forced herself to stiffen in his arms. “I’m fine.”
“Then why didn’t you answer my calls?” he questioned again.
“You’re not my father or my boss, so it’s really none of your concern,” she said softly, forced sarcasm lacing her tone. Her heart was screaming. She hated herself for what she was about to do, when all she wanted was to melt into his arms and never leave.
Alex moved back to look into her face, a frown settling on his handsome face. “What’s your problem? Don’t I deserve a little respect?” He walked past her and into the apartment without waiting for an invitation.
“By all means, do come in.”
He turned toward her, thought still hovering in the entryway. His head cocked to the side, his expression perplexed. “What the hell is going on?”
“Nothing!” she said harshly. “I’m a grown woman. I don’t need to report in to you or anyone else!”
“Stop acting like a spoiled child, Angel. It doesn’t suit you,” Alex said blandly, the anger he’d managed to quash earlier rising anew. “This has turned out to be one, great fucking day.”
“So sorry if I’ve inconvenienced you, but since you’re not my husband, or even my boyfriend, stop with the inquisition.” She went into the kitchen and picked up a half-full bottle of white wine, refilling her glass without offering one to him. She turned her back to him looking out of the window, the burn in her throat threatening to choke her. Her heart thudded abnormally, her pulse pounding abnormally hard in her neck as her eyes blurred. “We fucked, that’s all. There really is no point in continuing something that was doomed from the start.”
Alex heard the words but didn’t believe them. “I know why you’re doing this, and it isn’t going to work. Come over here.” His voice was soft as silk, and she swallowed, trying to ease the lump in her throat.
“It has to be over, Alex.”
“Angel, come on. I know it’s only been a few weeks, but I know you better than that. Everything will be okay. You’ll see.” He had moved to her side and reached out, his hand ghosting over the outline of her head and then slid down the contour of her neck.
She jerked away from his touch as if he had burned her. “Don’t touch me!” she hissed. “Is it so impossible to comprehend that a mere woman would leave the great Alex Avery? Is it so hard to believe that your dick doesn’t mesmerize me? You’re a great fuck, I’ll admit, but there’s no substance. You said it going in. It is what it is, so let’s cut our losses.”
His hand hovered in the air and then fell to his side before he walked quickly into the other room, found the Chivas in her bar, and poured three fingers into a crystal tumbler before bolting it. The liquid burned on the way down and he set the glass down hard. “Stop it, Angel. You’re not a common whore, and I won’t have you talking like you are!” he said angrily.
She turned to look at him. His shoulders were solid, his back straight, and her eyes drank him in. He was pissed. She could see it in the way he moved, the way he poured another shot and swallowed it. It almost radiated off of him like heat waves off pavement in the desert.
Pain wrapped itself around her chest, and she wondered if she could keep from screaming out loud. She blinked at the tears forming, quickly wiping at one that managed to escape. Angel was trembling—breaking from the inside out—but gathered the resolve she needed to harden her voice and her expression. “I need you to leave. Now.” Please, God. Make him go. Let him go before I fall apart, she prayed.
“The fuck I will,” he rasped out.
“Get out!” she screamed at him, hurling her glass across the room toward him. It whizzed past his head and slammed into the mirror over the bar, splattering him with droplets of wine on the way and leaving the mirror shattered. “Leave!”
Before she knew what had hit her, he was across the room, and she was hauled backward and pinned by his body pressing her into the wall. His arms caged her in and he was breathing hard. She turned her head away, unwilling to see the questions or the pain in his eyes. “The fuck I will,” he repeated again, but softer and deeper this time. His breath fanned out over her face in series of hot, liquor-scented blasts, and she wondered if she’d ever feel him this close again.
Angel could feel the fury churning within him but
she couldn’t bring herself to be afraid. This was Alex. Alex, who touched her with tenderness and passion. Alex, who would never hurt her, but wanted to protect her. She knew it like she knew her own name.
He moved on her, his hands and mouth seeking and finding tender flesh, his body arousing hers even as her heart broke within her chest. His hand moved frantically up under her shirt and closed roughly over her breast, his thumb working the nipple into a hard pebble. He pushed against her, rubbing his groin against hers and hoisting her in a thud against the wall with each thrust of his hips.
“Tell me you don’t want this. Say it and I’ll stop. Say it, damn you!” His voice was raw with passion and something else she couldn’t fathom.
Angel clutched and clawed at his shoulders and the back of his head, lost to the love she felt. Tears rained from her eyes to soak into the white linen on his shoulder, her body throbbing in surrender. She turned her face into his neck as the clink of his belt somehow found purchase through their heavy breathing. “Tell me you’re immune to this thing between us! Tell me to stop, goddammit!” he ground out. He pulled the crotch of her shorts and panties aside, his fingers finding the dampness that belied her desire. “Fucking hell, tell me to stop!” Alex was as close to begging as he’d ever come in his life.
His eyes locked with hers, taking in the shimmer of tears still clinging to her lashes. She shook her head and closed her eyes, forcing more tears down her face.
“No,” she whispered brokenly. Her fingers found the side of his jaw just before his mouth took hers in an angry kiss. His teeth pulled on her lower lip until she cried out, and when their tongues met, he slammed into her with one quick thrust, burying himself in her moist heat.
They fought each other with their bodies, trying to be the first to wring pleasure out of the other in ruthless pursuit, their mouths at war. Her fingers threaded in his hair as his mouth dragged from hers and down her chin and neck.
Angel’s head banged against the wall as he fucked her, but it was only the sound that registered. She only felt his body claiming hers; his mouth, hot and needy, taking from hers. “Not in anger, Alex. Please,” she begged.
