“Oh, Evan, don’t do that,” Mom called after him. “Come back and finish your supper, we’re just talking. No harm, no foul.”
“Charlie?” Evan heard Gram say as he walked through the living room.
“Yeah, Ma.”
“They are still kids.”
Evan was on the phone with Lucy as he got ready for bed. He grabbed his sketchbook, climbed into bed, and doodled as they talked.
“Oh my God, they did not,” Lucy said, a tiny voice on the other end of the phone line. Evan imagined the shocked and horrified expression on her face.
“I know, can you believe it? Evan and Lucy, Owens house gossip item,” Evan said.
“Well, that settles it. I’m never coming over again.”
“Stop.”
“No, you don’t understand. I can’t ever look at your mom again, and your dad already hates me.”
“Does not.”
“Send me a text when your entire family’s dead, and then we can be friends again.”
“That’s morbid.”
“Everyone dies, Evan. We’ll still have a few good years.”
Ten minutes passed, and Evan’s page filled up with sketches. His feet were on the windowsill, buried in thick, poufy slippers. The window was open a crack, and he could feel a chill. His nightstand light dimly colored the earthy greens of his room. His history book lay on his desk, ignored. The sound of dishes clanking wafted upstairs and through the open bedroom door.
“What about tomorrow?” Evan asked. “It’s Wednesday. I have SARAH in the afternoon. Like, not the person but the organization. Basically we hang out with some handicapped people. Ben will be there. They’re all great, really. You’ll like them.”
“Oh, wow,” Lucy said. “That’s kind of awesome. All right, but you come over here for breakfast, then.”
“It’s a date,” Evan said, and shut his eyes tight, for a moment pulled back to the conversation over dinner. Hopefully Dad didn’t hear. Evan laughed.
FIXING A HOLE
It was still cold when Evan stepped outside the next morning but considerably warmer than it had been the past few days. He slipped out quietly before breakfast so he wouldn’t have to listen to any more Lucy dissertations over family meals. As Evan pulled out of the driveway and into the road, the car half drove and half slid over what amounted to flurries layered on salt layered on dirt layered on ice covering more dirt on snow over street.
Lucy’s father’s house, or Lucy’s old house, was a few turns away. The beach down the street from the hill was painfully white, and Evan almost had to close his eyes. He pulled into the driveway and walked a shoveled path that cut through the knee-deep snow. He knocked on the door, and Lucy’s father answered, wearing a loose robe and looking not at all as if he were expecting company. His face was stubbly, and his head was on its way to bald, as it had been for as long as Evan had known him. The look of not expecting quickly melted into not surprised.
“Evan, come on in,” Doug said, shaking Evan’s hand and patting him on the back. He mumbled in the heavy British accent he still had after decades living in America. “Place is a bit of a mess, sorry.”
Evan stepped inside the house. The air was thick and stale with cigarette smoke. Magazines and newspapers piled up on any flat surface that would hold them. It felt like an old house. It felt a little bit older each year he visited.
“Lucy!” Doug called, and then said to Evan, “Let me go get changed. Help yourself to some breakfast. Nothing fancy, but we have a few boxes of cereal.”
Lucy came out, and Evan and Lucy sat down and had a bowl of cereal each. Happy-O’s. Doug came back out and joined them at the table.
“How’s school?” Doug asked Evan.
“It’s good,” he said.
“Still doing the activities? Yearbook, chess…”
Evan wondered if this was how people viewed him. The activities kid. “Never did chess. Skipped yearbook this time. I’ve been working on sets for the school play this year.”
“Oh, yeah? What show are they doing?” Doug asked.
“Rumors,” Evan said, sure Doug would not be attending opening night.
“Rumors,” Doug repeated, and nodded. “How are your parents?”
“Same old, I guess.”
“Same old,” Doug said. “That’d be Charlie and Barbara all right.”
Evan wasn’t sure how to take that, so he nodded and continued to eat.
“How’s your mom?” Doug asked Lucy, leaning forward over his large bowl. Evan had noticed the picture of Lucy’s mom on the hutch when he came in. It was the one object in the house not taken over by clutter. The photo was professionally taken. Dawn looked much younger in it than he remembered her, but just as tanned, with the same dark brown hair. Evan hadn’t seen her in years.
“Dad, seriously?” Lucy asked, looking away. Evan thought maybe he should have prolonged the school-play talk.
“Well, we’ve hardly gotten to sit down and talk, Lucy. I’d just like to know how the mother of my kid is. She dating anyone?” Doug asked, as if it were a casual question and not at all loaded with history and implications. Or, you know, kind of creepy.
“Dad…” Lucy said, rolling her eyes.
Evan ate quietly.
“It’s all right,” Doug said, letting it go. “I wish her well, you know that.”
Everyone sat in silence for a moment, Lucy leaning on her hand and swirling her spoon around her bowl.
“You can tell me, if she is,” Doug said. He faced Evan. “I really did love her. I wish things had worked out different, but…”
Evan tried to eat a little faster.
“If it’s meant to be, right?” Doug said, and offered a hopeless smile.
He was likable enough, but just so sad. It was hard to even feel empathy for him, looking around the house. It was as if Doug and the house were stuck in some perpetual limbo, as if he and Dawn had split up only weeks ago. It had been years, though, and Evan wondered if the house had been cleaned at all in that time. Or if anything had been moved. He wondered how much of Dawn’s stuff was just lying around like she still lived there.
Evan looked at Lucy, who was still playing with her spoon and bowl as if they were a Nintendo game, and wondered why she wanted him here for this. It wasn’t a planned breakfast. Maybe she thought her dad would be a little more dadlike with company. Maybe she felt the house just needed some more people in it. Or maybe she felt Evan would understand her a little better.
Lucy sat, her leg bobbing up and down, her hair a mess, her dad a mess, her house a mess. Evan thought of Lucy as this unbearably bright spot in this broken, dark place, like a full moon lighting up a dark night sky. She had so much beauty and smarts and potential and wit. She was better than this place. Evan wondered if she knew that. He wanted to take Lucy away, and bring her home and give her all the love and support and all the opportunity he’d had. He wanted to be her knight in shining armor.
Things had been anything but clear with Lucy so far, but one notion, one idea, started to shine to Evan like a beacon. He knew that he wanted to save her.
Evan and Lucy were back at the mall, this time with Ben and his friend Katie, both from the SARAH group, in tow. The mission: to find Ben some CDs to listen to. Ben was already happy and hyperactive, oblivious to the crowds of people, tugging on Evan’s shirt until Evan pushed him off, and then bothering Katie. Evan hadn’t mentioned this to Lucy—that nothing gave Ben so much joy as pissing people off.
“Look over there,” Ben said to Katie, pointing to the right with his arm in front of her face. Ben had very short blond hair and large front teeth, and while Evan wore a heavy coat, hat, and hood, Ben wore a T-shirt and thin jacket. Katie had a short bobbed haircut and thick-framed rectangular glasses.
“Look at what? There isn’t anything there!” Katie yelled, fed up already. Fed up was almost a personality trait for Katie.
“Aren’t they kind of like us?” Evan asked Lucy, trailing a few steps behind the
m. Lucy said Evan would have more bruises if he were any more like Ben, who was staring at Katie now.
“You can tell him to knock it off, Katie,” Lucy said.
“Miss Katie,” the now–Miss Katie told her in a scolding voice. Evan mentioned, belatedly, that Katie liked to be called that, especially at first.
“Miss Katie, you can tell him to knock it off.”
“Knock it off, Benjamin!” Katie yelled at a still-too-close Ben, who did not seem to notice or care. “He won’t listen!” Katie complained to Lucy.
“Maybe they are kinda like us,” Lucy said, amused.
They went into the f.y.e. store to browse for music. Even when she was cranky, Katie loved the mall and loved watching all the people. She smiled for the first time all afternoon when they walked into the crowded store, which was playing some upbeat, current-day Christmas music.
“She’s adorable,” Lucy said.
“I really like doing this,” Evan said. “Of all the things I have to do after school all week, it’s the most fun for me personally. It’s almost like my little ‘take that’ at my dad. He was doing some legal work for SARAH and put this whole thing together as something to put on my résumé and college applications. And it was something for me to do at the end of the summer. To get out of the house and all. I can’t imagine the thought that I’d actually like it ever crossed his mind.”
“Does Lady Gags do comedy?” Miss Katie asked, looking at a CD.
“That’s Lady Gaga,” Evan corrected.
“Just kidding,” Miss Katie said quietly, and pushed Ben a comfortable distance away from her. Lucy fawned over Miss Katie.
“There’s a handful of other guys at SARAH I guess you won’t get to meet,” Evan said to Lucy. “But they’re all really sweet, and they’re genuinely excited when I come over. There’s a sense of fun with them that I really don’t feel anywhere else.”
Evan started to comb through the CDs himself now, looking for something for Ben. Ben told him to look for something classic, so Evan knew just where to start. “What do you like, Ben? Kanye West?”
“Evan!” Ben said as if he were being teased.
“No Kanye. You’re missing out, though. Who do you like? Celine Dion?” Ben rejected this idea, too. “All right, Ben, I gotcha. You’re a classics kinda guy. The Beatles.”
“Evan!” Ben said again.
“Hang on, I’m not playing. I don’t play when it comes to the Beatles. You’ll learn this about me. Let’s find a good one,” Evan said, shuffling around before pulling out Rubber Soul. “Here we go. This was my first Beatles album. You’re gonna love it.”
Evan scanned the disc in the sample area, and Ben put the large headphones on, then stood blankly while the album gave him a preview in ten-second installments.
“So that’s your big eff-you to your dad—to enjoy doing what he tells you to do?” Lucy asked Evan.
“I guess it’s not much of an eff-you when you put it that way,” Evan said.
“There’s this guy Ian I know in Atlanta who would throw these crazy parties and empty out his parents’ liquor cabinet and basically trash the place whenever they went away. Now that was an eff-you.”
“Did you attend these parties?” Evan asked, intrigued. “Who’s Ian?” Lucy took a second too long to answer, like she was trying to come up with something.
“Oh, he’s just some guy in Atlanta,” she almost mumbled. She didn’t even have a good answer.
Evan looked at her quizzically. Why was Atlanta always such a big secret? She’d never mentioned an Ian before. Ben took off his headphones, so Evan scanned in the White Album; Ben put the headphones back on. “Ben, listen to this, let me know if you like it.” And then back to Lucy: “You mentioned that. But who is he? Is this a boyfriend?”
“Look at you, Owens!” Lucy said. “You’re so jealous!”
“I’m not jealous,” Evan said, giving her his full attention. “I’m just curious about what you’re up to, that’s all.”
“Nothing.” Lucy shrugged. “Ian is no one, and you’re a jealous boy. This is very interesting.”
Ben took off his headphones. “Evan likes Lucy!” he said, and laughed.
“Ben, listen to music!” Evan took another CD out; he didn’t want to go far. He chose Boston, scanned the CD, and put the headphones back on for Ben. Maybe Evan was jealous. Or just curious. Where was the line between them? Semantics and games. It felt like Lucy was playing a game with him he did not enjoy.
“Are you guys boyfriend and girlfriend?” Miss Katie asked. She’d been standing there so quietly that Evan had almost forgotten she was there.
“No, Evan’s very sweet, but we’re not dating,” Lucy said. “Right, Evan?”
“Nope,” Evan said. This conversation was going about as well as Ben’s music selection was going.
“Good,” Katie replied.
Lucy feigned shock. “She doesn’t like me! I’m heartbroken!”
Ben took off the headphones and shook his head. Evan was glad. The CD shopping experience was quickly getting awkward. Evan put back the Boston CD. “So in recap,” Evan said to everyone, “Ian is no one. I’m not jealous. Lucy and I are just friends. Lady Gags does not exist but would be awesome if she did. And, worst of all, Ben does not like the Beatles. Now that is upsetting.”
“He’s a Stones fan, definitely,” Lucy said.
Ben walked to Evan’s side and tapped his shoulder. “Can we go?” he mumbled, looking down at his feet. “The guys from my bus stop are here,” he said, barely audible.
Evan raised an eyebrow and looked away for a moment. “Really?” he said. Evan used to walk with Ben to the bus stop every morning until this year, when Evan was able to drive and had a parking spot at the school. Since then, Ben had told him a few freshmen teased him some mornings.
“What?” Lucy asked Evan. “Who are the guys from his bus stop? What’s going on?” Evan didn’t want to involve Lucy, fearing she’d—“Who are the guys from the bus stop?” she asked Ben now. Ben told her the full story, in more detail than Evan had heard, actually, which was impressive. Maybe Evan hadn’t pursued the conversation hard enough in the past, or maybe Lucy in her ten minutes with him had formed a stronger bond than Evan had. Or, more likely, Ben just really liked talking to girls.
“The guys” were two fourteen-year-old boys, one thick, with a faux hawk, and one skinny and tall, with a baseball cap. Per Ben’s story, they gave him a hard time while he was waiting for the bus, asking dumb questions and laughing at his answers. Just a couple of punks. Evan hadn’t really ever considered a time when he’d actually be confronted with them, and he was unsure what he should do. Ben had never gone to the principal about the issue, which Evan had suggested.
“I’m gonna go talk to them.” Lucy had her eyes locked on the guys.
“Wait.” Evan placed a hand on her arm. She turned to face him, and he took it off. “Don’t get crazy. There are rules here. We’re basically the face of an organization right now, don’t forget. We’re not supposed to get into fights in the mall. Let’s just get out of here. Ben doesn’t want us making a scene.” Evan took a step toward the door.
“Ben, can I go say something to them?” Lucy asked him directly. Ben nodded and looked excited. “All right, you guys wait over here. I recommend sampling some Wu-Tang Clan.”
Jesus, Ben, anything for a girl, Evan thought. He was nervous now, preferring to have a plan when jumping into a situation.
“Do you really think those kids should go on teasing Ben every morning?” Lucy asked Evan once they were out of earshot of Ben.
“No, of course not.” Evan couldn’t help feeling uncomfortable about it, though.
“They’re a couple of fourteen-year-olds; you’re twice the size of either of them. What’s the worst thing that could happen?” They might want to fight. He could lose his volunteer work at SARAH. Dad would throw a fit.
Evan sighed. “All right, let’s go.”
The two boys were talking lou
dly to each other when Lucy approached them, Evan in tow. The store seemed crowded suddenly. Evan felt like everyone was watching them. The walk across the store took an unusual amount of time.
“Do you guys know Ben over there?” Lucy asked them casually, nodding back in his direction. Evan stood behind her, the hired help, the goon. In case things got out of line. He’d be the one to shout Look over there! and pull Lucy in the opposite direction.
“Oh, yeah,” Faux Hawk said, leaning forward to look at Ben, who was facing away. “He takes the bus every morning.”
“Do you think it’s cool to make fun of people?” Lucy asked crossly.
“It’s not cool,” Evan added. No Silent Bob over here.
“We don’t make fun of him. We’re just messing around,” Faux Hawk said.
“Yeah, chill,” Baseball Cap added. “He knows.”
“That’s beyond sick,” Lucy said. “You shitheads are all that’s wrong with this world.” Evan tried to look tough.
Faux Hawk and Baseball Cap laughed uncomfortably. “You don’t even know us,” Baseball Cap said.
“Sit there and laugh,” Lucy said. Evan saw where this was headed and was prepared to pull Lucy away if she lost her temper and abandoned reason. “He’s a person, he is sweet and kind, and he feels everything you or I do and then some. He’s seventeen, and he’s had enough shit heaped on him in his life without dealing with you two. And I’ve only known him for a day, but I can guarantee he’s brought a lot more positivity into this world than either of you ever have or will.”
They continued to snicker. Evan was ready to punch them himself now. “Have a nice life,” she said suddenly and coldly, and she and Evan left. Evan was surprised, proud, and maybe even a little let down. He wanted those guys to run home and stay there. He was no Lucy, though. “Nice line about it’s not cool,” Lucy said to him.
Winter Town Page 8
