When she arranged to meet Kit for a drink the day before New Year’s Eve, she was fully expecting Ethan to take the opportunity to come along. So she was disappointed when Kit turned up alone.
‘I thought Ethan might come with you,’ she said when they were seated at a table with a couple of drinks. She tried desperately to keep her voice light and sound casual.
‘No. He was going to when I originally mentioned it to him, but that was before Anna turned up. I don’t think we’ll be seeing much of Ethan for the rest of the holidays.’
Oh fuck! Icy tentacles crept through Romy’s veins, chilling her blood, as all her worst fears were realised in those two syllables: Anna. Feeling her throat constrict with tears, she told herself to hold it together. ‘Who’s that, then?’ she asked, trying to sound offhand.
‘She’s one of Ethan’s bevy of fuck buddies.’
‘Oh!’ She took a big gulp of her drink. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, she chanted in her head.
Damn it, why was she so upset anyway? She knew Ethan slept around – a lot. She knew they were just having a fling and weren’t serious about each other. But the thought of Ethan with someone else made her want to throw up and scream and cry all at the same time.
‘Yeah, she turned up on Stephen’s Day. She’s been travelling and she was trying to get back to France for Christmas, but her flight was cancelled. The snow over there is even worse apparently. So she got stranded here.’
‘Is she … staying there – at your parents’ house?’
‘Yes. “Sleeping in the spare room”,’ Kit said, doing quotation marks in the air.
‘But you don’t think she is really?’
‘I doubt it. Unless Ethan’s sleeping in there with her. It wouldn’t be like him not to offer a bed to a hot French girl in need. He’s very charitable that way.’
Romy forced a smile.
‘He’s seemed a bit lost the past few days,’ Kit mused. ‘Hasn’t been himself.’
‘In what way?’
Kit shrugged. ‘He just seems really restless and on edge – like a hen that can’t lay, as Dad puts it.’
‘Really?’ Romy felt a tiny stirring of hope.
‘More like a cock that can’t get laid,’ Kit said with a laugh. ‘He didn’t seem to have anyone lined up, and it’s not like him to go without for so long. But I’m sure Anna will sort him out.’
Of course, she thought, her heart plummeting. What an idiot she was. It wasn’t her Ethan had been missing, it was sex. And now because she was unavailable, he was having it with someone else. She should have known and she berated herself for her stupidity. She knew what he was like – Kit had told her often enough. What did she expect? He had only slept with her in the first place because they were snowed in together and she happened to be convenient. Probably anyone else would have done just as well.
She had known all along that it was just sex and it wasn’t going to last. So why did she feel so damn hurt? Of course, she knew bloody well why, and it wasn’t just that she wanted their fling to last a little longer. She hadn’t meant to fall for Ethan, but that hadn’t stopped it happening, and she had fallen hard. She was crazy about him. And he was out there somewhere fucking Anna.
She knew she had no reason to be angry with him. He had never said anything to make her believe she was any different to the countless other girls he had slept with. It wasn’t his fault that she felt more than he did and that their time together had meant so much more to her. But how could he go around being so damn sweet and adorable, and making her happier than she’d ever been if he was just going to take it all away again? It was too cruel. And it was torture to think of him being that way with someone else. She couldn’t bear it.
‘Romy? Are you okay?’ Kit asked, frowning concernedly at her.
‘Oh, yeah, I just – I just have to go to the loo. Sorry.’
She darted to the loo, where she gave vent to the tears that she couldn’t hold in any longer and allowed herself a quick cry. The rest would have to wait until she got home. Then she splashed her face with cold water until she was confident the redness around her eyes was gone, and rejoined Kit.
‘So, have you any news?’ he asked her when she got back to her seat. ‘How’s Luke and … everyone?’
‘Luke’s great!’ She smiled. ‘He’s started teething, so he’s gumming everything in sight.’
‘And how’s Danny?’
She made a face. ‘He’s okay, I guess. He’s been a bit down in the dumps lately.’
‘He should have come out tonight – might have cheered him up.’
‘He couldn’t. He was meeting Paul,’ she said, raising her eyebrows. ‘That’s his ex.’
‘I know. I met him.’ Kit took a big swig from his drink.
‘You did?’
‘That time we went to the garden centre.’
‘Oh. Danny never said.’
‘Why is Danny meeting him?’
‘Paul’s been ringing him lately.’ She looked down at the table, tracing a pattern on the wood with her finger. ‘I think maybe he wants to get back together.’
‘Oh. Do you think Danny would take him back?’
‘I don’t know. I hope not – so does Mum. I mean, we used to like Paul, but he was really shitty to Danny in the end.’
Kit sighed. ‘So, you’re still coming to our party tomorrow night?’
‘Oh! Yes, I guess so. Mum said she’d babysit.’ Oh Christ, would Ethan be there with his latest fuck-buddy? Would she be forced to act cool while watching them snogging at midnight, pretending she didn’t care about him any more than he cared about her? Shit! But it would be weird now if she didn’t go. She would just have to tough it out.
‘Bring Lesley. And Danny.’
‘Danny? Really? I thought the two of you didn’t want to be on the same planet these days, much less in the same room.’
‘Well, it’ll be a big party,’ Kit drawled. ‘I’m sure we’ll be able to stay out of each other’s way.’ He sounded flip, but she couldn’t help noticing that he looked sad.
‘Yeah, I’ll bring him. I’ll bring them both.’
Romy felt queasy the following night as she rolled up at the Mastersons’ house. She was not looking forward to this party in the least and she really didn’t know how she was going to get through it.
‘Hi Romy, Danny,’ Ethan smiled as he opened the door. ‘Hi, Lesley – nice to see you again.’
‘Hi,’ Romy answered quietly, thrusting a bottle of wine at him as they stepped into the hall and were greeted by the sounds of a party in full swing.
When they had removed their coats, Ethan led them through to the packed living room.
‘What do you want to drink?’
‘Um … I’ll have red wine please,’ Romy said.
Lesley and Danny both asked for white and Ethan disappeared to get the drinks.
Romy had expected Kit to make a beeline for her and monopolise her all night as his ‘girlfriend’, and for once she would have been happy to act the part. It would provide a useful shield against Ethan. But Kit was on the other side of the room and made no move towards her when she came in – perhaps because she was with Danny.
‘There are nibbles over there,’ Ethan said as he returned with their drinks, waving to a table where chips and dips were laid out. ‘But we’ll be having proper food later.’
Romy was relieved that as soon as he had distributed their drinks he was called away by Hannah as more of his friends turned up. She recognised Fiona and Sarah among the new arrivals.
Somehow, she managed to avoid Ethan, strategically moving around the room so that she was always on the opposite side to him. As co-host, he was busy and in demand, so it wasn’t too difficult to keep out of his way, but it wasn’t the most relaxing way to spend a party. Now he was across the room, chatting to a group of girls and drinking beer from a bottle. She scanned the group, wondering if one of them was Anna.
‘This party sucks,’ Danny said beside h
er.
‘Yeah.’ She sighed. ‘Maybe we should blow it and go to the local for midnight.’
At least Lesley seemed to be enjoying herself. She was getting chatted up by a tall rugby-playing friend of Tank’s.
‘Having a good time?’ Kit asked, striding up to them.
‘Yes, great!’ Romy said, plastering on a cheery smile. ‘Oh, excuse me, I’m just going to say hi to Hannah,’ she said, leaving Kit and Danny alone as she saw Ethan heading their way.
‘I really loved your garden design,’ Kit said to Danny. ‘Thanks.’
Danny just shrugged in response.
‘It’s really nice to see you, Danny. I’m glad you came.’
‘Actually, I was just thinking of leaving.’
‘Oh? Got somewhere better to go?’ Kit asked, but was greeted with a churlish silence. ‘Romy told me you were meeting Paul the other night,’ he pressed on.
‘So? What’s it to you?’
‘I thought you might bring him tonight.’
‘We’re not back together.’
‘Good.’
‘Not that it’s any of your business.’
Kit sighed. ‘Well, anyway, I’m glad you’re here. There’s something I wanted to tell you.’
‘Yeah? What’s that? You’re getting engaged to my sister?’
‘I’ve made a New Year’s resolution,’ Kit said. ‘And I’m going to start it right now.’
‘Oh yeah?’ Danny said disinterestedly.
‘Well, aren’t you going to ask me what it is?’
‘Uh, no – I wasn’t planning to.’ Danny lifted his drink jerkily to his lips and took a gulp, twitching with bad temper.
‘Why not?’
Danny looked at him askance. ‘Because I don’t give a fuck. Do what you like.’
‘Oh, I plan to,’ Kit said. Then he very deliberately set down his drink, took Danny’s face in his hands, and kissed him softly on the lips.
Danny grunted in surprise, too stunned to move. But as Kit’s mouth moved against his, coaxing and teasing, gently prising his lips apart, Danny relaxed into it. He put his arms around Kit and kissed him back, and the rest of the world zoned out as they stood there in the middle of the party kissing and kissing, completely oblivious to the open-mouthed stares of everyone around them.
‘Is that—’ Lesley stuttered. ‘Oh, my God!
‘What the hell?’ Ethan echoed her sentiments.
‘Am I really seeing this?’ Romy said, dazed.
It felt like the whole room had gone still and quiet as everyone watched Kit and Danny snogging like a pair of loved-up teenagers.
Finally, they broke apart. ‘Was that public enough for you?’ Kit asked Danny, a slightly smug smile on his face.
Danny just grinned back at him in answer. Then they seemed to simultaneously become aware that they had an audience, and Kit raised their joined hands in the air before taking a theatrical bow.
‘Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. We’ll be here all week.’
Everyone clapped, and Danny and Kit took more bows.
‘About bloody time,’ Hannah said.
‘So Kit’s defnitely—’ Ethan began. Somehow in all the excitement Romy had dropped her guard and he had ended up beside her.
‘Gay,’ Romy finished. ‘I’d say that’s pretty conclusive proof, wouldn’t you?’ she said, turning to Ethan, forgetting in her shock that she wasn’t speaking to him.
She looked at Danny and Kit, both beaming at the crowd and each other. Well, at least someone was happy, she thought. They looked ecstatic. Clearly, she wasn’t going to be required for role-playing duty tonight.
‘I haven’t seen you all night,’ Ethan was saying, turning the full force of that heartbreaking smile on her. ‘I’m beginning to think you’re avoiding me.’
‘Ethan!’ Sarah rushed up and grabbed him before Romy could reply. ‘You’re needed in the kitchen. We’re running out of margarita mix. Sorry, I just need him for a minute,’ she said to Romy, an unmistakable gleam of triumph in her eyes as she pulled him away.
‘I’ll be back in a sec,’ Ethan said, as he let Sarah drag him off.
Romy looked around the room, her eyes raking over all the pretty glossy-haired girls and wondering once again which one Anna was. What did it matter anyway? she thought. If it wasn’t Anna it would be someone else. She saw Fiona watching beadily as Sarah dragged Ethan out of the room. Was tonight going to turn into another who’ll-get-to-sleep-with-Ethan contest? Well, she wouldn’t be throwing her hat in the ring. At least she had more self-respect than that.
She found Lesley still chatting to her rugby player and pulled her aside.
‘Do you mind if I go?’ she asked. ‘I’m not feeling great.’ It wasn’t really a lie. The thought of Ethan with any of these girls made her feel nauseous.
‘Aw, that’s a shame. But no, go on. I’m grand.’
Romy was pushing her way to the door when she felt a hand on her arm, stopping her.
‘Where are you going?’
‘I’m going home,’ she said, trying not to look as pathetic and heartbroken as she felt.
‘What? You can’t go home yet,’ Ethan said, beaming at her. ‘I haven’t even had a chance to talk to you. And you have to be here at midnight.’ He leaned close to her ear and whispered, ‘We’ll finally have an excuse to kiss in public. Though, now that Kit has very publicly dumped you for your brother—’
‘Ethan!’
Just then a slight dark-haired girl with a pixie haircut to match her equally pixyish face came rushing up and clutched onto Ethan’s arm. ‘I want to dance,’ she said in a French accent, and Romy immediately knew that this was Anna. She was stunning. ‘Come and dance with me.’
‘Well, don’t let me keep you,’ Romy said, turning on her heel and rushing from the room. She scrabbled for her coat in the hall, desperate to get out of there before she started crying and made a complete fool of herself.
‘Romy!’ Ethan emerged in the hall looking rather bedraggled – mauled by his hordes of adoring fans, no doubt, she thought bitterly. ‘Don’t go, please.’ He looked at her with a pained expression. ‘Look, I’m sorry I haven’t been able to see you the past few days. Anna just turned up out of the blue and—’
‘It’s fine, Ethan. You don’t have to explain anything to me.’
‘But I want to. I feel like you’re angry with me for some reason.’
‘I’m not angry,’ she said flatly, and in that moment she meant it. She wasn’t angry. She just felt dead inside – tired and numb and fed up. ‘I’m just – disappointed,’ she said honestly. ‘And I know I’ve no right to be,’ she interrupted as he opened his mouth to speak. ‘I know we were just … hanging out or whatever, and it didn’t mean anything.’
‘Hanging out?’
‘And now I’m not convenient anymore and you have another fuck-buddy to keep you company—’
‘A what?’ he asked, screwing his face up in what looked like genuine confusion and horror. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘Kit told me about Anna—’
‘Kit! Well, I don’t know what he told you, but Anna is not my … my fuck buddy!’
‘Isn’t she?’
‘Romy, I am not fucking Anna or anybody else, and if you came upstairs with me right now I could show you a hard-on with your name on it that’s been nearly two weeks in the making.’
She was stunned into laughing despite herself. ‘Oh my God, that is so romantic!’
‘I know,’ he said with a sheepish smile. ‘Smooth, huh?’
‘You do know you can, um … handle that yourself?’
‘Oh God,’ he groaned, ‘is that what you’ve been doing?’ His eyes darkened.
‘Be mindful of your thoughts, young Skywalker,’ she said.
Ethan smiled, relaxing a little. ‘I don’t want to handle it myself. I want you to handle it for me.’
She sighed. ‘Why haven’t you called me, Ethan? Why haven’t I seen you for days?’
‘Why haven’t you called me?’
‘Uh-uh, don’t throw this back at me. As soon as Anna showed up, you disappeared. You really expect me to believe you didn’t sleep with her – as you have every right to,’ she continued when he began to protest. ‘You’re young, free and single, and we never said we were exclusive or anything.’ To her horror, she felt her lip tremble, all the strain and anxiety of the past few days overwhelming her, and tears spilled from her eyes before she could stop them.
‘Oh, Jesus, don’t do that, please,’ Ethan begged, taking her hand and pulling her into the relative privacy of the corner under the stairs.
Romy swiped at her tears impatiently with the back of her hand.
‘I should have called you, and I’m sorry.’ He sighed. ‘I guess I was afraid. Anna’s someone I used to sleep with, okay? That’s all in the past. It was over ages ago. But she just turned up out of the blue, and I said she could stay here, and I didn’t want you to find out and get the wrong idea. That’s all.’
‘The wrong idea being?’
‘That I was sleeping with her.’
‘And you’re not?’
‘No!’ He raked a hand through his hair impatiently. ‘If you don’t believe me, you can ask her yourself,’ he said, grabbing her hand and pulling her back into the party. He weaved through the crowd until he found Anna chatting to a group of Tank’s rugby friends and tapped her on the shoulder. ‘Anna,’ he said firmly, as she turned to face him, ‘can you tell Romy here – have we slept together while you’ve been staying?’
Anna looked startled, but she recovered quickly. She raised an eyebrow, her eyes flicking over Romy coolly. ‘No,’ she said finally with a wry smile that wasn’t entirely unfriendly. ‘I guess now I know why.’
‘Oh,’ Romy said in a small voice as Anna turned away.
‘See?’ Ethan said to her.
‘Well, that wasn’t embarrassing at all.’
‘So – you’ll stay? Please?’
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