by T. Styles
He put both of his hands up in the air. “No, mama, I’m gonna keep shit real with you, the shoot out at your crib was not us. The Kennedy Kings didn’t deliver packages and niggas are after them. You beautiful ladies just got caught up in the mix. I happened to be at a poker game, heard about the hit and wanted to put my bid in before they killed ya’ll. Them niggas wanted blood, I want the work or the money. So technically I saved your lives. For now anyway.”
“And like I said, we don’t have shit,” I persist hoping that if they tortured us, that Race could hold her own. “Let us not forget that my friend Denim saw your face.”
“Lots of niggas saw my face who I robbed. That’s why I’m one of the most wanted niggas alive,” he laughs. “Now you have some money or the weight somewhere. I know, because before Bunny was murdered, we placed an order.”
“Like I said, you got the wrong information, son.”
“I’m gonna make shit difficult for you,” Donatello says. “Real difficult, are you sure you want to do that?”
“I am if you are,” I say.
“We gonna see about that.”
BAMBI
I feel like I’ve been held hostage for three days, but it may be longer. Donatello hasn’t returned since the first day. Instead of putting us in pain, I think he is choosing the abandonment route. That shit don’t work with me. I prefer to be left alone.
It is dark in the room we are in and I can hear Race’s shallow breathing. My throat is so dry my tongue keeps sticking to the roof of my mouth.
“Why did you kill Bunny?” Race asks me in a heavy voice.
I can’t see her face, but I tell her the entire story.
“I’m glad she’s dead,” Race tells me when I’m done. “Although I’m not looking forward to seeing her in the afterlife.”
I think about Bunny’s monster face and say, “Me either.” I think about Kevin and the life we led before this moment. I would love to see him again. I gotta know why he broke my heart. “Do you regret any of it? Marrying into the Kennedy family? The money? The cars? The boat rides and crazy parties?”
She sighs. “I don’t regret anything, Bambi. Before becoming a Kennedy, my life was drab. I was weak, and needed to work on myself, but I didn’t know where to start. Ramirez gave me a little excitement but I was still living through him. I relied on him to be my protector, and when he died it felt good to finally do it for myself. I lived more in the last few months than I have my entire life. No regrets over here,” she continues.
I think about how she was handling the gun. “How were you able to fire like that? So effortlessly?”
“A good friend of mine told me that you have to stand up for something.” I laugh because I told her that. “So I practiced at the gun range,” she giggles. “When I hold a gun in my hands, I feel alive, Bambi. It’s like the gun is an extension of who I really am. I just wish I would’ve realized it before this moment.” She sighs again. “I don’t want to die, Bambi. Not like this.” Race pauses. “What do you think they are going to do to us?”
I sigh. “Right now they are fucking with our minds. They figure not having food and water will make us tell them whatever they want to know. If it comes to torture, and you can’t hold out, I’ll understand if you tell them where our money is.”
“I’ll hold out for as long as I can,” Race responds.
When a door opens allowing a blast of light to spill inside, I see Donatello’s smug face. Big mistake. He’s alone and he has two bags filled with McDonald’s food in his hand. I don’t think I’ve ever smelled anything so delicious in all my life. My stomach feels like it has hands and is trying to reach out of my gut, and snatch the bag from his grasp.
He turns the light on, and looks at us. “I bought you some food,” he steps closer to me, and next to the wooden chair. “You both can have all you can eat, if you tell me what I want to know. Where is the money or the work?”
“Fuck you, nigga,” I say mad he’s playing mental games with us.
He laughs. “What about you?” He asks Race. “You feel as sure as she does? Or do you want something to eat and drink?”
Race turns her head to the right and remains silent. She swallows loudly so I know she wants the drink.
“I like your steez,” he tells me. “Both of you.” He steps closer to me. And, the moment he does, I clip his ankle with my foot. His body falls down and he bangs his head on the edge of the chair a few feet in front of me. He passes out. I ease my foot under his underarm, and using all my might, drag his limp body toward me. His head is between my legs now, and he’s finally coming too. But, it’s too late because I press my thighs around the muscles of his neck and squeeze.
He’s clawing at my arms, and face, but I’ve done this type of shit plenty of times before. I feel a tingly sensation course through the veins in my pussy. It feels as good as it would if I was getting my pussy ate out. I’m in ecstasy as I moan out my orgasm. He can’t fight for his life anymore. I look down at him, the sweat from my forehead falls onto his face and dampens his eyelashes. I don’t let him go, until the vessels in his eyes are red and bleeding.
When I’m sure he’s dead, I breathe heavily over him. In that minute he and I are alone until Race says, “What the fuck was that?” She looks scared of me.
“A murder,” I tell her. I focus back on his limp body. He has a pocketknife on his hip next to the bulky phone on his waist. I push his body sideways and kick the phone and the knife repeatedly. The knife falls on the floor followed by the cell. I bring my leg up to my chest and drag the knife toward my hip with my foot. I push the knife to the back where my hands are, and manage to slide it up the wall. I flip the button to eject the blade and cut the rope.
When I’m free, I cut Race out too. I try to move to the phone to make a call but Race grips me and says, “Thank you for saving my life. I owe you.” Tatiana told me that before, and I hope Race wouldn’t live to regret it also.
I hug her back, but rush to the phone. I call the one person I can count on in times like this. He never lets me down.
****
When Race and I walk out of the building, I exhale. We are eating Big Mac’s and drinking soda. It’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted. Although it’s chilly, the sun fights for position and it’s warmth brushes against my face. I can truly say that I never felt this type of freedom before, not even when I was discharged from the army.
When I squint and walk out of the apartment complex and onto the street I see four Hummer’s. Sarge’s truck is in the front. He’s standing outside of it. He salutes me and I salute him back. My smile couldn’t be brighter.
“Sarge is over there,” I tell Race sipping my soda. “I know how much you love your boo,” I joke.
“I never thought I’d be so happy to see him again,” Race says as she throws the Big Mac paper on the ground. “When you know how much I fucking hate him. I’m gonna kiss the shit out of his ass.”
“You should love him now,” I remind her as we continue to walk toward him. “He’s the one who gave you your swag to meet The Russians.”
“I do love that nigga.”
I’m smiling wider until...I see something. I drop everything in my hands.
“Bambi, what’s wrong?” Race asks me. I don’t answer. “Bambi, what’s up you’re scaring me.”
When we make it to Sarge’s truck I say, “Take her home.”
I give him signs that he alone understands. His eyes widen, and he looks around. “Bambi, I’m not leaving you out here by yourself. Don’t play me.”
“If you love me you will. So the question is do you love me or not,” I ask firmly. When he doesn’t respond to me I repeat, “Do…you…love…me?”
Silence stands between us. After some time, he touches Race on the back and says, “Get in.” He looks around again, but he doesn’t see what I do. If he did it would be over, and a war would take place right there. “I need you to protect my family.”
“I got it,” he says.
/> I smile, touch him softly on the cheek and wait for them all to pull off. When they are away, I walk down the block. When I reach the navy blue Honda Sedan, I open the back passenger door and slide inside. The white man who usually follows me looks at my face in the rearview mirror.
He laughs and says, “How did you know I was here?”
I look out of the window at nothing in particular. “I smelled you.” I look at him in the mirror. “Now take me to them. I’m ready to get this shit over with.”
BAMBI
Since I’m tied up for the second time this week, I’m starting to think I’m bad luck. I’m completely naked, gagged and sitting in a wooden chair. In front of me are Iakov and Arkadi, The Russians. Unlike Donatello, as their hostage, I have been treated horrifically. I’ve been struck in the face with their fists, poles, and even belt buckles. In the end they wanted one thing, Mitch McKenzie’s name and whereabouts. They wanted my drug connect, and I will never give it to them.
“I’ve found out a lot about you,” Arkadi says standing in front of me. My dried blood is all over his hair, and clothes. “You are very resourceful and resilient.”
“She’s also very beautiful,” Iakov adds. My blood stains the plastic cup in his hand, but he doesn’t care. These are natural born killers. “Well, for black bitch anyway.”
I don’t respond. I learned a long time ago that the best way to get at someone is to give them extreme silence. Although every portion of my flesh is inflamed and bruised, I still keep my soundlessness.
“We went to both of your homes the other day,” Arkadi continues, “new and old one. We also visited your mother’s house and your father’s residence where he stays when he’s in town. We did all that only to discover that everyone you loved has vanished.”
Hearing this causes me to grin. I told Sarge to protect my family and that’s exactly what he did. That’s why I love that man.
“I’m glad you think this is funny,” Arkadi says. “But, it won’t stop us from making time with you memorable. So, are you going to give us connect’s name and address, or do I have to put you in more excruciating pain?”
Iakov laughs and pours himself another cup of vodka. He walks up to me. “Come on, Bambi, tell us what we want to know. Let us return you to family, and love ones. Don’t be martyr all for some chorn who supplies cocaine. It’s not worth it.”
You don’t even know what you’re talking about. I think. The man in charge of my product has skin as white as snow.
“Why be hero?” Arkadi asks. “He wouldn’t do it for you.”
I maintain my silence, raise my head and look to my left. Just knowing what they want and keeping it from them is enough to make me go harder than ever. I’m thinking about Kevin, and how he use to love me. I think about my twins, Melo and Noah, and how handsome they looked when they came home. I think about my sisters. I think about my life, and all of the things I wanted to share with them. I’ll never get to see the women my twins choose to marry. I’ll never get to hold my grandchildren, and I’ll never get to tell them how sorry I am for lying to them about their father’s death. I’m not ready to die, but for the game, I will if I have too.
My thoughts continue to float until I see a flash to my left. Arkadi is holding a knife and the shine from it blings. He walks up to me and rubs the blade along the right side of my face. He slices me horizontally once. He slices me twice. He slices me three times. He slices me four times. The pain causes my eyes to water. I want to cry out, but inhaling the metal scent of my own blood makes me angrier. Fuck the Russians! I’ve seen worse. I’ve experienced worse.
“What is name of your connect?” Arkadi asks me again.
I maintain my silence and can feel my tears rolling down my face. Although I’m thinking about a lot of things, snitching is not one of them. I keep my gaze toward the west, and avoid eye contact with him at all times. My flesh is open on my face and I can only imagine how I look. Monstrous.
“I have to give you credit,” Arkadi says pointing the blood soaked blade at me. “You’re stronger than I imagined. Then again, any woman who mastermind her husband’s death would be.”
I look at him for the first time.
“Oh yes, we are aware,” Iakov says sipping his vodka again. “Although we just learned of it the other day, we are aware all the same.”
My bottom lip trembles. I want to tell him that he’s a fucking liar, and maybe spit in his face, but I don’t.
“You are very good at what you do. There’s no need to hide anything from us. We know everything,” Arkadi continues.
When he makes his last statement, what happened a few months ago comes flooding back to my mind.
****
Two Months Earlier
The sky was dark as Bambi pushed her Rolls Royce down the street. Mary J. Blige’s voice relaxed her mind as she thought about her perfect life. Kevin had proven time after time that there wasn’t a thing Bambi could do to get him to leave her. Her loud outbursts, waking up in cold sweats and crying uncontrollably, did not cause Kevin to stray.
Bambi was on her way home to celebrate her seventeenth wedding anniversary with Kevin. In the seat of her car was a beautiful black and gold wrapped box, with a red ribbon on the top. Inside of it was an 18kt gold Rolex Daytona watch with diamonds in the face and bezel.
She was just about to get off the highway when she spotted Kevin’s Bentley going past her at a rapid speed. He was on the phone and appeared to be arguing with someone on the other line. Bambi wondered where he was going and decided to follow him. When he took an exit, she took the same one. Something about how he looked felt off.
When he pulled into Sunny Meadows Apartments, and parked, Bambi did too. Bambi observed her surroundings and tried to determine where they were. She didn’t know anybody in the neighborhood and she wondered whom Kevin knew there.
When Kevin parked, and knocked on a door, she watched him go into an apartment. Since it was a floor level apartment, Bambi parked, and eased out of her car. Her Louboutin boots clicked toward the window of the apartment. She looked behind her to see if anyone was watching. When they weren’t she peeked through the window. From the slits of the blinds she could see a woman and a little boy on a couch inside.
Kevin reached in his pocket, and handed the woman some money. The girl counted the money and yelled at him. From outside Bambi could hear him say, “Don’t talk like that around my son! Watch your fucking mouth!”
Bambi looked at the little boy, and felt light. Although Bambi didn’t know it at this point, the little boy and the woman would be the same people who approached her at the doctor’s when she got her medicine, after being shot.
Bambi stumbled back, and ran toward her car. On her way she bumped into a short dude and another guy. They were the woman in the apartment brother’s. The shorter one smirked at her and said, “If that’s your car over there, you must be Mrs. Kevin Kennedy.”
Bambi ignored him and rushed to her car. She was so distraught she wouldn’t recognize his face when later he would shoot her in the hand in a hospital.
Bambi jumped in her car, and drove away from the scene. She was crying, driving angrily and frantic. Her husband…the love of her life had a baby outside of her marriage. She couldn’t believe it. When her phone rang and she saw Cloud’s number, she answered.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Cloud?” Bambi cried to him while driving down the street. “Why didn’t you let me know that my husband was unfaithful?”
“Bambi, I can’t get in the middle of that,” Cloud said. “That’s your husband and he never loved that bitch. It was a one-night stand. He fucked her the one time ya’ll had a fight. He regrets the shit to this day…trust me.”
“But you knew this and didn’t say anything,” she sobbed. “I won’t ever talk to you again,” Bambi pledged. “When you see me, you’re dead to me.”
“Don’t say that shit,” Cloud said. “Don’t turn your back on me when I know you know how I feel about you.”
“Don’t…ever…say…anything…to…me…again,” she repeated.
“What do I have to do?” He asked. “What I gotta do to keep you in my life, Bambi? Say the word and I will do anything.” Cloud never fucked Bambi, but he loved her like he had.
“I want you to hurt him,” she said. “I want you to make Kevin pay for what he did to me.”
Silence.
“Bambi, I can’t do that,” he said. “He’s my cousin.”
“Well you can’t do nothing for me then.” She hung up on him, and called the one man she could always count on. Sarge. “Sarge, I need you to do something for me.”
“Anything,” he said.
“Kevin hit me,” she lied. “And I want the nigga dead.”
She could hear his teeth chattering from the phone. He was ensued with anger. “Tell me where to catch this nigga when he is away from you, and off guard. On my mother it will be done.”
Bambi told him all about the trip to LA. She told him about his favorite gambling spots, and she told him to aim for the head. Sarge promised to handle the business and he was there waiting to attack. But, plans got changed when some crazed employee with a grudge on his shoulders came in and shot up the casino. Because of it, Sarge was unable to go through with the plan.
The Russians found out about everything…but Bambi couldn’t be sure how.
****
I look at The Russians. “Although we couldn’t bug your car, we bugged your friend’s. Your friend Cloud has quite a mouthpiece on him,” Arkadi says. “He told someone on phone that Kevin was going to LA, and how you asked him to hurt your husband after finding out he cheated on you. We have tapes of that conversation. Since Kevin is not alive, we figure you were successful in your attempt.”
I’m laughing inside. They don’t know shit. A disgruntled employee killed Kevin, not me. Yes I wanted the mothafucka dead. Yes I wanted him dealt with, but it doesn’t mean I didn’t love him. He fucked up everything we built when he stepped out on me, and had a baby with that slut. In the end he got exactly what he deserved. Murdered.
