I watched her as her body lifted and fell with the gentle movements of the water. Her breathing was soft and steady, her lashes resting on her cheeks. I held her hand, kneading the tiny bones between my fingers. She was almost asleep and utterly beautiful. I sat, content to look at her. I’d have to wake her before the water cooled, but for now, I let her rest and held her hand.
The short time I’d been gone had been enough. What Brian had found was enough to jog the memory I’d been trying so hard to remember. An internet search had turned up the photographs, and while it wasn’t proof, it was a place to start. And after what I’d seen tonight, I knew deep inside that my suspicions were correct. I’d left Brian to follow up on a dozen more leads and call me as soon as he had anything concrete. Cole had no idea just how lucky he’d been tonight. That I hadn’t just killed him for what he’d done. He also had no idea just how soon that luck was going to run out…
I needed to tell Grace. But there wasn’t anything that couldn’t wait for morning. Part of what I had to tell her made my gut clench at the thought. But she had a right to know. Even if telling her meant risking everything else.
21
Grace
I woke gently to the sound of Kaine’s voice. “Sweetheart, it’s time we got you into bed.”
I opened my eyes to see his face close to mine, and I remembered the soothing feel of his hands as he’d washed me. Another unexpected moment. That I could ever fall asleep with his hands on my naked body…
I sat up, standing when he held out a thick bath towel for me. He wrapped me inside it and inside his strong arms. I leaned into him, happy for his warmth and the support of his body as he dried me. “Come.” He took my hand and led me back to the bedroom. Lifting me, he settled me under the covers and kissed me on the forehead. He stood to go and I caught his large hand in both of mine.
“Stay with me, Kaine. Please… just for tonight?” My voice sounded thin and needy. Any other time I would have been embarrassed by it, but right now I didn’t care. There was no way in hell I would be able to sleep alone in the big bed again, no matter how tired I was. “You promised you wouldn’t leave me…”
Even in the darkness, I could sense the conflict inside him. What I couldn’t tell was whether he wanted to stay… or he wanted to leave. He stood still long enough to make me wish I hadn’t asked. But then he moved to the other side of the bed… and I watched his silhouette as he removed his jeans and slipped into bed. He stretched out a hand to me, across the expanse between us.
“I’m right here,” he said. “But you need rest. And believe me, if I come any closer than this, you won’t get any sleep at all.”
Even with the distance between us, it took hours to fall asleep. I was too aware of his body and mine. I’d never seen him completely naked and the idea that he was so close… I wondered what it would feel like, the touch of all that skin on mine. I was twenty-two and still didn’t know that feeling. Flesh on flesh, bodies tangled and joined together… I ached to reach out to him, but didn’t want to risk what we had now. Even if it still wasn’t quite close enough…
I rolled onto my side away from him and listened to his breathing in the darkness. Deep and steady. Comforting, even if he wouldn’t hold me. Eventually, exhaustion took over and I dropped off, sleeping like a child does… deeply without dreams or awareness or any sense of time passing. I didn’t know if it was minutes later, or hours. It was only starting to get light outside when I heard him, and I was suddenly bolt upright in the bed and grasping to understand.
“Danny!”
I started to reach for him, but stopped cold as he called out again.
“Leave it, Danny! Come back… oh, god, Danny…” He was sound asleep, but thrashing and tangled in the sheets. “NO!! Oh, god, I’m sorry. I tried… I didn’t mean to… No, Dad. Please. I didn’t mean to…”
I reached out and put my hand gently on his shoulder and found it drenched in sweat. “Wake up, Kaine. It’s just a dream.” I shook him gently. “Please… wake up.”
His hand shot out and gripped my wrist. His eyes were wide open, but he didn’t seem to see me. His eyes were unfocused and looked somehow beyond my face.
“Please, Dad. Not again. Don’t hurt him again. He’s too little and it’s not his fault…”
“Kaine! It’s me, Kaine. I need you to wake up.” I took his face between my hands. “It’s Grace. I’m here Kaine. It’s me.”
I saw the change fall like a curtain over his features. All of a sudden, he was back in control, his eyes sharp on mine. He swallowed and put his hands over mine. The Kaine I knew was back, and I felt a strange, unexplainable feeling of sadness. His dream had obviously been terrifying, but it seemed so much worse for all those emotions to be bottled up again. Forced back down by the steel of his damned self-control.
He sat up and turned his back to me, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. The dim light made his scars even more visible. The raised, organized pattern of them cast tiny shadows and they stood out in contrast. I reached a hand up, aware of the risk I was taking. I held my breath and touched him.
His skin shuddered under my palm, but I went on. Putting my other hand on his back too, I ran them slowly over the surface of his skin, touching. Exploring. He was breathing too fast, but he didn’t stop me. And he didn’t pull away.
I worked slowly, touching each tiny mark with my fingertips, exploring each moment of the pain he must have felt. There were a thousand details I didn’t know. Maybe I would never know. But something deep inside me understood anyway. Pain is pain, no matter the cause. And we all carry scars somewhere…
I leaned forward and touched my lips to one, then another. I felt his skin move under my lips as if it were trying to crawl away. But he didn’t move. And he didn’t speak.
I kissed each mark, slowly, deliberately. One at a time until I had touched them all. The sky had lightened and I could hear birds singing outside. I shifted behind him and reached around his chest with my arms. I pressed my breasts against his back and held him. For a while our bodies moved out of time with each other, his breathing too fast, mine slower. I held him until we moved in time. Until our bodies rose and fell in unison.
“I’m sorry, Grace,” he said gently, turning his face close to mine. “I didn’t want this for you…”
My heart sank as he said the words and I held him tighter, refusing to let go. “How can you not see it, Kaine? How kind you’ve been to me… how you’ve protected me and treated me like I was good and beautiful?” I leaned my face into the back of his neck. “You’re beautiful too, Kaine. How can a man like you not see?”
He stood abruptly and moved away toward the window. Looking out, he took a moment, seeming to gather his thoughts. “There’s a lot you don’t know, Grace. About… about a lot of things. Things that aren’t your concern.”
He turned and stood looking back at me. The light came from the window behind him, lighting him around the edges and leaving his features in darkness. I shifted, waiting for him to go on.
“I have my own issues with Cole. There’s a lot of… history.” He cleared his throat. “My company intends to tear out an old street that his committee is fighting to save. But that’s just business. Even so, there’s never been any love lost between us.”
I nodded. “I heard you talking to someone,” I said slowly. “Rance Street… and something about a house you want torn down. It didn’t sound like business, Kaine. You were angry…” I decided to take a chance. “I think it has something to do with Danny…”
His voice was quiet, controlled, as he answered me. But his eyes were cold and bright. “Leave it alone, Grace.”
He changed the subject. “Have you ever heard the name Marks, Carlson Marks?”
“I heard you say the name, when you were on the call.”
“I had my assistant Brian, look into the man. He’s the witness against your mother, Grace. The one who claimed he saw her kill Cole’s wife.”
Kaine took a step
closer and I could see his face more clearly. There were frown lines marring his forehead. “But that’s just it, Grace. Everything came together when I finally remembered.”
“I don’t believe what happened to Claire Cole was an accident at all.”
22
Grace
I was on my feet, standing as the room spun around me. “What are you telling me, Kaine? That my mother did this intentionally?”
“God, Grace, no. Of course not.” He led me back to the bed, sitting down beside me. “Sweetheart, I think there may be evidence that Evelyn’s not the reason Claire is dead at all.”
I felt my mouth drop open, and bit into my lip to close it again as Kaine went on. “Something felt wrong all along, but I just couldn’t put it together until now.” He took my hands in his and held them.
“The witness against your mother is Carlson Marks. He’s in politics too, like Cole. Until today, that seemed to be all they had in common. But fucking Brian is a damn genius and discovered the one piece of the puzzle that I couldn’t remember. That Marks and Cole were in college together years ago. And that there were allegations against Marks by a female student. That he’d raped her during a frat party.” He ran a hand through his hair.
“Cole came to his rescue and gave him an alibi, and the charges were dropped. It was the end of a small story that stayed small. And local. Both men came from prominent families with money to back them, and the story was killed before anyone even heard about it.”
“But you knew?”
“I went to a nearby university and had dated the girl a few times, about a year later. She mentioned it one night, without a lot of details. But she’d said his name. And it came back to me when Brian filled in the missing pieces.”
“I think that Cole called in a debt, Grace. I think that he needed someone who owed him big time, and that man was Carlson Marks. Cole took out a large life insurance policy on his own wife, only months after he married her. Plus there was all the money Claire had inherited before the wedding. She was worth several million easily, and Cole has been known for his uncontrolled spending. A place like La Laisse hardly comes cheap, especially the way he indulges…”
My mind was racing. Of course I’d resisted the idea that Evelyn had been responsible. But it hadn’t been so hard to believe it was true either, I thought with a pang. “I was so sure she was guilty. So quick to believe it. She’d been so drunk, and the car was so damaged…”
“I know, Grace. I looked at the photographs and the police report. But it was the witness who put her in the driver’s seat. A witness who owed Cole a damn big favor, for a very long time.”
He took my shoulders and made me look at him. “There’s evidence. And there’s motive, Grace. I don’t have proof yet, but I will. I’ve wanted that bastard out of the way for a long time, but after what he did to you last night… I need to see this through. I want you with me, where I can be sure you’re safe, while Brian and I are searching for the proof we need.”
“The case goes to trial in three weeks,” I said faintly.
“That’s why we need to leave here, Grace.”
“We…?”
He reached out and cupped the back of my neck. “I’m taking you home with me. And I’ll pay you everything I would have paid Mrs. Sparr. In a few week’s time, with luck, your mother will be a free woman. And you’ll walk away with almost half a million dollars.”
My head was spinning. Half a million…
He’d told me he wanted Cole out of his way, for reasons of his own. I was just fine with that, after what that asshole had done to me… And if it was true, that Evelyn hadn’t even been involved in the accident… Why the hell wasn’t I jumping at the chance Kaine was offering me? Why was there a tight feeling in my stomach that made me hesitate?
I knew exactly why. Because what I was feeling for Kaine wasn’t about business. Or money. Or even about trying to save Mom anymore. It had become much more than that for me. And I wanted Kaine to feel that way too.
“Why?” I asked, almost afraid to hear the answer. “What’s in this for you? You could take the information you have on Cole to the police, and they would investigate. If you’re right, he’ll be out of the way and your business can move forward. Why do you need me? Why pay me all that money, and concern yourself with my mother’s case, when you could just keep it simple?” I was on a roll now, going for broke. I was terrified I was making a huge mistake, but I kept right on going.
“There’s so much you won’t share, Kaine. Why the hell did you buy me, when you haven’t even had me yet? Why offer me a fortune, when you’re the one helping me?” I wanted to reach up and touch him, but bit my lip instead. “You don’t want me to touch you.” I turned away and looked out the window. “And you won’t even tell me why.”
“It has nothing to do with us…,” he began. I cut him off.
“It has everything to do with what’s between us. I know this is just a business deal for you. But you made me want you, and then you… you just won’t let yourself…” I shook my head impatiently. “You care enough to help me, but you won’t talk to me, Kaine. About those scars… about why you won’t let me in. About why you want one particular house on Rance Street torn down. Or about why you have nightmares… About someone named Danny…”
I was breathless when I finally stopped. “You’ve treated me better than I had any right to hope for. And I’m grateful. But I don’t understand, why you keep me at a distance, when I want to be here for you. When I want you…”
“You’re not here to want me, Grace,” he shot back. “You’re here for money. Because you want to save your mother. I’m offering to help you…,” he spun around, turning his back to me. “The rest isn’t your business. You can’t want me… you don’t even know who the fuck I really am.”
I took a step closer, aching to put my hands on his broad, strong back. An hour ago, he’d let me touch him there. I’d kissed his scars…
“That’s just it. I want to know. You want to help me prove that Evelyn is innocent. Why won’t you let me do something for you?” I swallowed my fear and reached out, resting my hand on his shoulder. “I’m trusting you, Kaine. And I’m asking you to trust me, too.” I rested my cheek against his warm back and felt him stiffen slightly. “Help me with my mom, and I’ll do anything I can to help you take Cole down. But I don’t want your money, Kaine. I don’t want any of it. I just want you to let me in.”
He turned slowly to face me. He looked down at me, his eyes cold and grey. I kept talking. It had gone too far to stop now.
“When I was ten, my mother stopped drinking. It was the last time she stopped. Gran had been gone for almost five years and she was finally starting to get back on her feet. For more than two years, Evelyn was sober and in a marriage that had lasted longer than just a few months…” I was still standing close to Kaine, but careful not to touch him. “Things were better than they’d ever been. And it seemed like maybe we could have a normal life… a real family.”
I shifted toward the bed and sat down. His eyes never left me.
“On my thirteenth birthday, my friends wanted to throw a party for me. My first real party, with boys and music.” I looked away from Kaine. “For two years, we hadn’t had any alcohol in the house… not until that night. My friends brought it, but I knew they were going to. And I let it happen.”
“Her bad choices were not your fault…,” Kaine began.
“But she’d beaten it, Kaine. All that was behind us, until I let them bring it back in. The boys drank the beer in the alley behind the house. But someone had brought a bottle of vodka, and most of that had been left over after they all went home.” I pushed my hair back and swallowed hard. All the feelings I’d pushed down for so long were rising to the surface. All the guilt I’d felt for all those years, knowing that I was the one who’d destroyed what Mom had worked so hard to achieve. That I had failed her as a daughter, far more than she’d failed me as a mother…
“It wasn
’t your job to protect her, Grace. She was the parent. She was the one who should have been protecting you…,” Kaine said softly. I looked up to see him gazing somewhere far beyond me. His voice sounded strange, distant. “It was never your responsibility at all…”
“I let them bring it to the house, Kaine. I could have told them not to. But I was ashamed… and didn’t want them to ask any questions. I wanted to help her and I couldn’t. I wanted her to love me and be my mom, and she couldn’t. Our whole lives could have been different, Kaine. And Claire might still be alive today. I’ve failed at helping any of us, Kaine. It was my job to keep Evelyn safe, and I failed her… I failed us. All the choices I’ve made were the wrong ones…”
I got up and wrapped the coverlet around me, shivering in spite of the warmth of the room. All the guilt and pain of the past was right in the room with us. I’d worked so hard for so long to keep it at a distance. Far enough away that I could work and sleep and live each day. But it had always been right below the surface. I could see that now. And my failure with Kaine was the last straw. I wanted him. Not just because of the desire he’d awakened in me. But because he made me feel beautiful and wanted. Because he’d treated me with tenderness and respect in a place where he could have easily done neither. Because he’d protected me and made me feel safer than I’d ever felt. Because everything inside me wanted to reach out and save him from whatever it was that haunted his own past.
I wanted him because I was falling in love with him. With a man who wouldn’t let me inside. No matter how kind he’d been to me, he didn’t feel what I was feeling. He’d offered to help Evelyn and me, but that was only because his own interests stood to benefit as well. I could never take the money he’d offered, because for me at least, this was no longer just business at all. I felt a decision taking shape that left me feeling cold and sick inside. But I knew it was the only choice I could make. Any other was unfair to myself. And to Kaine. This had to be the end of my bad choices… and the cost to those I loved…
The Baby Contract Page 27
