by Teresa Hill
"Rachel, she's not yours to keep."
"I know." She nuzzled her face against the baby's cheek. "I was just saying... it was so like my dream. I'd given up, totally. I couldn't even hope anymore, because it was too hard. It hurt too much. But I think I was wrong, Sam. How can I just stop hoping?"
He wondered what his wife hoped for these days, but he didn't ask. All he said was, "Just don't forget this baby isn't yours."
"I won't. I promise. But I'm going to enjoy the time I have with her. I'm going to try my best to enjoy this Christmas with these children."
"We can do that, I guess." He didn't like it, but he'd do it for her. Because she'd asked this of him and it was one thing within his power to give. And then, with his throat thick and tight with regrets stored up over the years, he said, "I never meant for it to turn out this way, Rachel."
"Me, either," she said.
They weren't talking about kids anymore. They were talking about their marriage, about the mess they'd made of it. She'd given up on him, he feared, just as he'd given up on the two of them.
Still, Sam wondered if she missed him, at nights like this when it was just the two of them talking and in their bed. She'd never said a word about him sleeping somewhere else, never asked him to come back, and suddenly it seemed as if it had been forever since he'd touched her.
He didn't want to think that he might never do that again, might never have the right. What would she do if he turned to her now? he wondered. If he took her in his arms and buried himself in the familiar comfort of her warm, soft body?
Sam groaned. He still wanted her, and it had been so long.
All those nights, he thought, he could have been with her.
Twelve Days
The McRae's Series
Book One
by
Teresa Hill
~
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Twelve Days
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Continue your journey with an excerpt from
Bed of Lies
The MacRea's Series
Book 3
Excerpt from
Bed of Lies
Book 3
The McRae's Series
by
Teresa Hill
Prologue
Racing downstairs and through the family room, twelve-year-old Zach McRae almost missed her, a quiet little girl curled up in a ball in the corner. She was all dark eyes and hair, knobby knees and skinny arms, every now and then tiny smiles that somehow still seemed somber.
"Julie? You're still here?"
She nodded, looking a bit guilty and maybe afraid.
"It's late. Where's Grace?" His little sister seemed to be best friends with Julie since she moved into a house down the street. They were always here, chattering and playing together.
"She hadda go to bed," Julie whispered.
"Yeah, she would be in bed at this time of night. Why aren't you home?" he tried. "I bet your parents are wondering where you are."
She shook her head back and forth, seeming to think they wouldn't be.
"Hang on a second. I'll be right back," he told her.
In the kitchen, putting dishes away, his mother had no idea Julie was still here. Zach promised to walk her home on his way to his friend's house.
Back in the family room, she was still sitting there in her corner on the floor, looking uneasy. He wondered if she ever truly smiled and what had made her such a serious child.
"Come on," he said. "I'm headed that way. I'll walk you home."
Wordlessly, she got up and followed him through the house and to the back door.
"Did you wear a coat? It's kind of cold now," He grabbed a worn, hoodie that was hanging on a hook by the back door.
Standing there in a thin, short-sleeved top and jeans, she shook her head, "No."
"Here. Take this until we get to your house." He slipped his hoodie over her head and then waited while she pushed her thin arms through the too-long sleeves. His sister was eight, happy was as could be, a beautiful, blonde angel, people often said of her, pampered and indulged as could be, and yet somehow never seemed spoiled by it all. He wondered now how the two girls could be such good friends, when they seemed so different.
"Come on." He opened the back door and followed her out into the night.
It was truly dark now, the evening already full of night sounds. An owl, a dog barking in the neighbor's yard. Julie edged closer to him at the noise and then a small, cold hand slipped shyly into his.
He held on. He was used to holding his little sister's hand when she was younger, to make sure she didn't run out into the street or get too far ahead of him. Everyone looked after Grace.
Zach knew Julie's family had inherited Mrs. Forrester's old house after she died. They were some kind of distant relatives, he'd heard. The place was big, but kind of run down, only five doors down from his family's home.
They got there, and he didn't see any lights on inside, no cars out front. He was heading toward the front door when Julie tugged him around to the back. Still no lights on that he saw. He knocked, waited, but no one answered.
Looking down at her, he asked, "Where is everybody?"
She shrugged, pulled her hand out of his and tried the doorknob. The door was unlocked, and she went inside. He thought she would have closed the door and left him there, but he wouldn't let her.
"Wait a minute. You're not here alone, are you?" he asked.
"I dunno," she said, like it wouldn't surprise her if she was.
"Let's make sure you're not, okay?" He came inside, found a light switch and flicked on a light, calling out, "Hello? I brought Julie home."
No one answered.
They walked into the kitchen, the dining room, the living room, turning on more lights as they went. There were still moving boxes that hadn't been unpacked, but no sign of anyone there.
He was getting angrier every minute. Who the hell left a little girl of seven or eight all alone?
"Julie? Did your parents say they were going somewhere tonight? Were you supposed to stay with Grace, and we forgot or something?"
She shook her head once again. No. Then looked embarrassed, he thought.
"Do you know where your parents are?" he tried.
Again, she shook her head. "It's just my mom."
"Do you know where she is?"
"No."
"Okay. I'm gonna use the phone for a second, see what I can find out." He called his mother, who sighed and sounded sad. She didn't know anything about Julie needing to stay with them. "I don't think they watch out for her the way they should, Zach."
Which made him furious on her behalf. He hadn't always lived where he was now, with the parents he had now, and he knew what it was like to be left alone. He seldom thought about it anymore, but he did now, imagined for a moment someone leaving Grace alone at the age she was now and got even madder.
"I'll stay with her until someone shows up," he told his mother.
"You don't have to do that, honey. Just leave a note for her parents and bring her back here."
"It's no big deal. I'll stay," he said.
He wanted to see what her mother was like, if this was something she did all the time—lose track of a little girl.
Julie said she wasn't hungry, that she'd eaten at his house earlier. She settled down in a chair in the corner to read while he watched a ballgame on TV. Before long, she was asleep in the chair.
It was two hours later before her mother came home with a man. They were laughing and talking like they'd had a great time, not worried at all, and probably a little bit drunk.
It was ten o'clock at night, and this was a small, safe town, but Julie was a little girl. She'd have to be scared here all alone, wouldn't she? And anything could hav
e happened to her.
Her mother seemed puzzled to find Zach there, saying, "Did she do something? Cause some kind of trouble?"
"No. Not at all. I just didn't want to leave her here by herself," he said.
"Oh, don't worry. She's fine." The woman tipped sideways a little too far on her high hells, and he thought she might fall over for a moment. But she righted herself and said, "Julie knows how to take care of herself."
Which left Zach wanting to yell at the woman on Julie's behalf, but he glanced over at the little girl, who was awake now. She shot Zach a pleading look that he thought meant she didn't want him to say anything.
Or that she was embarrassed. Maybe that was it. She didn't like that he knew what life was like for her, which made him think about what it could have been like for him. He'd escaped, but she hadn't. He felt guilty about that all of a sudden.
"Hey, Julie," he bent over and told her before he left, "you can come to our house anytime, okay?"
She nodded solemnly.
"I mean it. You need anything, we'll be there.
Chapter 1
She was standing in the foyer of the most elegant restaurant in town—Steve's arm resting lightly at her back, her future in-laws by her side, her new life firmly in place—when she saw him.
Customers were heading in and out of the front doors, clustering at the hostess stand, heading off to their tables, everyone going every which way at once, while she stood frozen in place.
There he was, Zach McRae in the flesh.
All grown up and absolutely perfect, as she'd always known he would be one day.
There was a quick rush of pleasure and surprise at first. She'd always liked him so much. And for a moment it was as if Julie Morrison's life were a movie playing out on the big screen and someone had just hit the pause button. No, as if they'd sent the tape in reverse. In an instant, she was seven years old again, scared, lost, and trying to hide in a quiet corner of his parents' house, wishing she never had to go home, him promising sincerely that his family would always be there for her. Young as he'd been at the time, he'd meant it, had kept that promise so many times over the years.
Zach turned, saw Julie, and walked right up to her, shoulders wide and squared, a too-familiar smile on his face—as if he'd last seen her yesterday, not more than eight years ago—and said, "Hello, Julie."
"Zach," she managed to say. "What are you doing here?"
What she really wanted to say was, Please don't say another word. Please don't ruin anything.
"Business." He was still smiling. "And you? Is this where you disappeared to? Memphis?"
She laughed. What else was there to do? A part of her was surprised, maybe even hurt, that he'd recognized her so easily. She thought she'd come so far from that girl she used to be. Especially standing in the lobby of one of the finest restaurants in Memphis, a discreet, hopefully stylish, designer dress wrapped around her body. Steve's ring—a tasteful family heirloom passed down through the generations—on the third finger of her left hand.
And yet, at the same time, she realized there was a part of her that despite everything else, was immeasurably pleased that Zach had known her right away, even after all this time.
"You disappeared?" Steve asked as his arm tightened around her, bringing her back to the present.
She realized they were all looking at her, Zach and Steve, as well as Steve's parents. Both in their sixties, tastefully gray and discreetly looking of old Southern money, they'd never been happy at the prospect of welcoming her into their family. Somehow, they'd known she just didn't belong in a family like theirs.
Calm down, Julie told herself. All she had to do was stay calm. And get rid of him. Stay right here in this carefully constructed world. It was hers now. No one could take it away.
Steve's mother cleared her throat and gave Julie a pointed look.
"I'm so sorry," Julie said. "I was just surprised.... Steve, this is Zach McRae, an old friend of mine. Zach this is my fiancé, Steve Land, and his parents Barbara and Joe Land."
As they all shook hands, Julie couldn't help but notice that Zach, all grown up, was just as straight and tall and solid as she'd ever imagined he'd be. He had dark hair, thick and clipped short and neat, even darker eyes, a strong, determined jaw, a beautiful smile. A hint of strength and power emanated from him as he stood there in a perfectly tailored suit. The stamp of confidence and ease showed in every move he made, a kind heart in the way he'd always treated her.
"Old friends, you say?" Steve asked him.
"Yes," Zach said, not taking his eyes off her. "And neighbors."
"Oh?" Steve's mother sounded interested all of a sudden. "You're from St. Louis, too?"
"St. Louis?" Zach asked, blank faced.
And just like that, Julie felt the treacherous ground she was standing on shift this way and that.
Julie jumped in, begging him with her eyes to just let it be. "He used to be. It's been ages since we've seen each other." She smiled up at Steve in the end. He wasn't going anywhere. He wanted to marry her, after all. Then she turned to Zach and uttered a bold-faced lie. "And your family moved to... Where was it, Zach? Ohio?"
He took a breath, his jaw tightening. She could just imagine what was running through his head. Just like old times, huh Julie?
Years ago, he wouldn't have hesitated to call her on a lie. He'd always thought she could be better than she was. She held her breath, waiting....
"Yes." He finally nodded, staring at her. "I'm surprised you remember."
All the lies, he meant.
She hung her head, realizing he had the power to shame her, even now.
"And you two know each other because...?" Steve asked.
"Julie and my little sister Grace were inseparable for years when they were younger," Zach explained. "I'm sure she'd love to hear from you. In fact..."
He slipped a hand into the inside front pocket of his jacket and pulled out a small, silver case. Taking a business card out of it, he scribbled something on the back, then gave it to her.
"Do that, Julie. Give her a call." His look practically dared her not to.
Or what? He'd track her down? Not that it would be difficult. She'd never bothered to change her name. At the time she'd been tempted, she hadn't had the money, and once she had it, she realized she hadn't left anyone behind who'd care enough to come looking for her.
She took the card, promising to call.
The hostess, sleek and elegant in a slim, black floor-length skirt and a crisp white blouse, joined them, nodding respectfully to Steve's father. "Your table's ready, Mr. Land."
Steve's mother paused for a moment, then turned to Zach. "You've just arrived in town, Mr. McRae?"
"Yes, ma'am," he said.
"Alone?"
"Yes. I was supposed to have dinner with a colleague, but he got tied up at the last minute. I decided to come anyway and try it on my own."
"Well, we can't have you eating dinner all alone. Why don't you join us? We've met so few of Julie's friends, and with her not having any family left..."
Zach gave Julie another one of those looks. "I'd love to join you. If that's all right with everyone."
Barbara Land looked gleeful, as if she'd read between every line and knew Julie was hiding something and that Zach might well be the key. Steve gave Julie an odd look, his arm tightening once again at her waist. She could feel all those not-so-subtle male signals rolling off him. Hands off. She's mine. As if Zach had ever seen her as anything but a lost little girl or a reckless teenager.
There was a short, awkward silence before Steve conceded. "Please, join us."
Moving through the crowded restaurant, Zach caught her by the arm. She stared down at his hand, surprised at Zach the man touching her, at the little tingling energy she felt between them. It gave him the time to draw her back from the rest of the group and whisper, "Got rid of the family again, huh, Julie?"
He knew well that she'd spent most of her high school years claiming t
o be an orphan or the sole child of a father who was off building a bridge in South America and hadn't been seen in years.
"Wouldn't you, if they were yours?" she asked.
"No, I wouldn't."
"Of course not," she admitted more sharply than she intended with her nerves getting to her, as they wove their way through the myriad tables and chairs. "You're perfect, and you have a perfect life."
He caught her arm again and stopped her right there in the middle of the restaurant. Quietly, he said, "You know that's not true."
Yes, she supposed she did. It was something she'd forgotten so many times over the years, because he certainly seemed like a man who'd had everything. But that wasn't the case.
She hadn't believed the story the first time she'd heard it whispered about the neighborhood. About Zach and his two sisters found abandoned in a motel on the edge of town at Christmastime one year. His mother found weeks later in a ditch outside of town, where she'd been left for dead. Not long after that, she was dead, Zach's father in prison for killing her.
It hadn't seemed possible. His adoptive family seemed as close to perfect as any she'd ever known. But she'd asked Grace, who'd confirmed the whole story.
Zach had talked about it once, telling Julie he knew what it was like to be alone and scared. He told her because he knew she felt the same way, and he knew how bad it was, something she'd never wanted anyone to know.
And here he was, seeing through her all over again with those beautiful, dark eyes of his.
In the center of the restaurant, they stood staring at each other, his hand still on her arm. He was so big and broad shouldered now. There was heat coming off his body, the smell of warm, clean male skin and something subtle and enticing that emanated from his freshly shaved jaw. She shook her head, trying to dismiss the flash of awareness. That and the innate kindness of the man was nearly too much to bear.
