“Well, aren’t you looking pensive?” Fen leaned against the bookshelf I’d been looking at. I’d been so deep in thought I didn’t hear him come in. “Care to share?”
Reflex had me grabbing Fen by the collar and slamming him into the bookshelf. The fury radiated off me like a furnace, and all I saw was red. The library had been empty besides Charlie and me.
How did he sneak in without her noticing from the front desk?
“Give me a reason I shouldn’t kill you right here and now,” I growled.
He chuckled. “Because I realized I’ve gone about this the wrong way.”
I didn’t say a thing. Narrowing my eyes, I listened carefully to his next words. He wouldn’t fool me again.
“I know you want to go home more than anything,” he started. “More than that, you want to know who’s out to get you. Am I right?”
I released him, and he straightened his shirt.
“Thank you.” He nodded. “Now, let me edit my previous offer. Help me get to Hel, and I will get you to Valhalla—”
“No—”
“Listen,” he shook his pointer finger at me, “as a sign of good faith, I will help you find the individual framing you. Sound fair?”
I kept a stoic expression as I observed the wolf. Could Will and Charlie be right? Was he not the killer? I wanted it to be him. It was easier to believe he was the bad guy than to live in a perpetual state of ignorance as my real enemy circled around me, waiting to strike again.
“Do we have a deal?” He stuck out his hand for me to shake. I didn’t engage.
“No funny business, Fenrir. You double-cross me, I will sever your head and feed it to the crows.”
He gave a nervous laugh. “You have my word.”
That made me snort.
I faced the bookshelves again, going back to my search, but he remained beside me. His eyes lingered on my body, and I felt every piercing stare. It was unnerving and exciting all at once.
“What are you still doing here, Fenrir?”
“I expected you to be a bit more welcoming. Especially since I’m now on Team Raven.”
I glared at the wolf. The idea alone made me nauseous. Everything about what happened between us made me sick. How I didn’t catch this from the beginning made me question myself. It was sloppy and stupid. I should have known.
“I don’t trust you. You’re just like your father. As soon as our deal is met, I never want to see you again. Understood?”
Even though I hated him, I couldn’t help but feel a small attraction for him. It made me want to slam my head into a wall.
“Ouch, that hurts. I thought we were actually good together,” he said as he slid closer to me. The heat of his skin radiated onto me, sending a tingle through my spine.
Motherfucker.
“It was a mistake and won’t happen again.”
Fen spun behind me, his chest to my back, and rested his hands on the bookshelf on either side of me. I froze. His breath tickled my neck, and I could feel him grin. He was always grinning, the sly bastard. It was all a joke to him, which pissed me off even more.
“Oh, Raven,” he whispered. “Don’t forget I’m a wolf. I can hear your heart race. I can smell your desire. Don’t fight it, just give in.” Fen placed a feather-light kiss on my shoulder, right above one of the scars on my back. I spun around to punch him, but he was ready and slammed his lips onto mine. Pressing his body against me, he pushed my back against the books.
I returned his kiss. His hands held my hips against his as I reflexively wrapped my arms around his neck. Running my fingers through his dark hair, I knew what I was doing was wrong. It contradicted everything I’d been saying to myself. It made me weak. Relished in the feeling of escapism, any reasonable thought vanished. My mind went blank as all my worries flitted away.
A growl ripped from his throat as he quickly unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them off one leg. We were a messy tangle of limbs as I tried to unzip his pants in the midst of our clouded frenzy. Grabbing my thigh, he hooked it around his waist and slammed into me. His thrusts were fast and hard, banging my head against the books. I winced from the force but shut my eyes and moaned away the sting. My toes curled as he nipped my neck. Leaving a trail of kisses until his lips met my breast, he sucked my nipple through the thin material of my shirt.
Books fell to the ground around us as I held on to the shelf to keep myself steady. His heavy breathing and grunts were loud, but it felt so good that I didn't care if Charlie heard us.
“Fuck,” I moaned as I came, my body shivering with my release. I became dead weight as he finished, slamming into me one last time.
“Hrefna,” he growled in my ear.
This is so wrong on so many levels.
My high barely lasted as I sobered up. The feeling of humiliation engulfed me, and my body temperature rose in embarrassment. Just like a human, I had given in to the temptations of the flesh.
“Get off of me,” I mumbled. He released my leg, and I willed myself to stand on my own. My legs shook as I hung my head in disgust. I wasn't a saint, and I was far from being even just a tad conservative, but I felt true shame.
Fen buttoned his pants, his lips quirked to the side in satisfaction. Reaching for me, he tipped my chin up and looked me in the eyes. I'd never seen him so serious.
“It doesn't have to be this way, Raven.” He paused. “I can smell the alcohol seeping out of your pores. Don't be ashamed of who you are, of who you have become. Stop trying to forget and just remember.”
“Remember what?” I scoffed. “Remember the person I can never be again?”
“That’s not true—”
“Why? Because you said so?”
“Because this isn’t your end. You’ve been cooped away in Midgard for so long that you have no idea what’s going on in the nine realms. Another life awaits you if you stop pitying yourself and get out of Midgard.”
“And return to Asgard? I’ll be sent to prison for disobedience. That’s not a future.”
Fen’s dark gaze narrowed. “Right. Because drowning in mead is so much more appealing.”
I pushed him away. “Go.”
“Raven,” he rolled his eyes, “I didn’t mean—”
“You have no right to judge me,” I growled.
“Just like you didn’t judge me?” He snorted. “Such double standards, Hrefna. Come down from your high horse before you fall and hurt yourself.” Fen adjusted himself and, with one last look, walked away.
I stood there for a moment as I caught my breath. Anger bubbled inside me, and I needed to calm down before I did anything. I hated how he called me out on my shit, but I’d never admit he was right. Nonetheless, I couldn’t trust the wolf.
Once I got myself together, I picked up the books that had fallen and acted like nothing had happened.
If there was something I was good at, it was pushing my indiscretions to the furthest part of my psyche and forgetting them. Those were the rules I lived by and what kept the guilt at bay.
Charlie avoided my gaze when we returned to her apartment. “Everything okay? You were quiet the whole ride.”
The side eye she gave me was the hint I needed. She knew what had happened between Fenrir and me. She most likely didn’t want to comment and was waiting for me to say something. I hoped she wasn’t holding her breath.
“I’m fine. Just a lot on my mind.”
She handed me a bottle of water. “Did you find anything in the books?”
I wanted to roll my eyes. Instead, I shook my head and went for the rum I had placed above the refrigerator. Taking the last swig from the bottle, I tossed it in the trash.
“Not much, but I think I may have a solution. I can’t give the Norns the Sword of Souls. That’s out of the question. What I can do is offer them a favor. Norns love to be owed, and what could be better than a favor from a valkyrie? There’s no way they can refuse.”
“Smart.” She nodded. “When do you want to go?”
“You don’t have to go, you know. You’ve done so much for me, Charlie. I can’t—”
She sighed. “How many times do I have to tell you, Raven? I can take care of myself.”
I was skeptical. Not that I thought Charlie was weak, but she was in denial of who she was, and I couldn’t imagine her faring well in a fight.
I relented. “Fine. You want to risk your life for a total stranger? Be my guest. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Good.” She grinned. “We can go tomorrow. First, I need some milk.”
I pushed the shopping cart down the wine aisle of the local supermarket. The jerking of the busted wheel was grating, and I wanted to chuck the piece of shit toward the dairy section.
Between the library and the apartment, I was getting cabin fever. My outings with the detective weren’t enough; I wanted to see daylight. Although it was dangerous, I risked going shopping with Charlie. Besides, we were running out of beverages.
“Where the hell is the liquor?” I adjusted my disguise of sunglasses and a baseball cap. “All I see is wine and champagne.”
With a sigh, Charlie placed a loaf of bread and a carton of eggs inside the cart. “Raven, you have to go to the liquor store for that. We can go afterward, but you should really consider cutting down. You guzzle alcohol like you’re dehydrated. It’s disturbing.”
“What can I say? I get thirsty,” I shrugged and pulled my Pez dispenser from my back pocket.
“Oh! Can I have one?” Charlie smiled so hard she practically grew another chin. “I haven’t had those in so long!”
Her innocence filtered out, making me smile.
“Not today. This is adult candy.”
She frowned, waiting for me to explain. She already thought I was an alcoholic; I didn’t want her adding drug addict to the mix. For some abnormal reason, I cared what she thought about me. Maybe I was selfish and didn’t want her leaving me. Who knew? But I cared.
“Well, look who we have here, Callahan. It must be our lucky day if Portland’s most wanted is out and about doing some shopping. What are the odds?” Thompson mused as we turned around in the aisle and met the detectives face to face.
I was still a suspect for the murders of Kendall and Donnie, and they could slap cuffs on me for escaping police custody. I was screwed. And since they wanted me guilty for the killings, arresting me for the other infraction would be a temporary victory—especially for Police Commissioner Carter. I hadn’t turned on the news for that specific reason. I was almost positive he was all over the news stations seeking justice for the murder of his daughter.
“I don’t want any problems.” I raised my hands and looked to Will. A heads-up from him would have been nice. His face was stoic and unalarmed. I looked away to not attract attention.
“You are the problem, Raven. Dead bodies don’t deliver themselves like Amazon Prime,” Thompson said.
I shook my head. “I didn’t do it.”
“Sure, and my dog ate my homework.”
The detectives strode toward me. Thompson reached for a set of handcuffs as Will placed a hand on his gun. If push came to shove, I wondered if Will would pull the trigger.
My gaze traveled around the aisle, my eyes landing on the potato chips nearby. Charlie was a few feet away, and I put some more distance between us to keep Thompson’s suspicions at bay. If he realized we were together, Charlie would be an accomplice. I wouldn’t do that to her.
As the overweight officer took a step forward, I grabbed the rack of chips and tossed it toward him. The rack came crashing over him as bags of chips rained over both detectives. I ran in the opposite direction, bumping into Charlie on purpose, and slipped the burner phone in her purse.
“You don’t know me,” I whispered in her ear.
As I made my way to the cashier area, cops came in through the automatic doors of the supermarket. I was really starting to pile up reasons to get arrested. One of the policemen shot his gun, and I swiftly dodged the bullet. Will came around and ordered the officer to stop before he shot an innocent bystander, making my escape that much easier. I bulldozed my way out, swinging my fists and connecting them with jaws and abdomens.
When I made it to the parking lot, customers were running around and screaming from the commotion. Officers had their car doors open, windows down, and their guns aimed in my direction as they hid behind the doors. The public’s panic made it difficult for them to shoot. Not that it worried me, but my inability to get hurt did put me at risk of being discovered even further.
I charged toward one of the cars, moving quickly between the crowd of screaming customers. Making it to one of the cop cars, I twisted the officer’s wrist, forcing him to release his gun. I hit him on the side of the head with the butt of the weapon. He collapsed, and I got in the patrol car.
Not caring for the innocent humans I could possibly hit, I peeled out of the parking lot with the other officers following. They could try to keep up, but I wasn’t going to jail today.
16
The cop car I’d stolen was now at the bottom of a creek, miles away from Portland. The minute I could pull over without getting caught, I ripped the GPS from the vehicle and was able to drive out of town. Hours had passed—twelve to be exact. With no form of communication or transportation, I was truly alone. It was a different feeling. I had always been on my own, but in the last few days, I’d had people I could reluctantly depend on.
Drenched in sweat, I walked from the highway into Portland. Knowing I wouldn’t be recognizable in the dark, I had waited until nightfall to hitchhike the majority of the way. I scanned the neighborhood before I went up to Charlie’s apartment and knocked on her door. I was mid-knock when the door swung open.
“Oh my gosh, Raven!” she shrieked. Charlie pulled me into her home, hugging me like we’d been friends forever. It was odd, but I didn’t pull away. Her fragile arms trembled, and I could feel the frames of her glasses on my shoulder. “Where have you been? Why didn’t you call? We’ve been so worried!”
“We?”
“We,” Will reiterated from the living room where he stood with Fen.
The ragtag group was comical. A human, a banshee, and a wolf who was my arch nemesis. It sounded like the beginning of a bad joke.
The TV was playing in the background. Replays of the incident at the supermarket were on the news, with my mugshot displayed on the side. I really was Portland’s most wanted.
“Portland police will not rest … I will not rest until Raven Romero is found,” Police Commissioner Chuck Carter said in a press conference. In a dark, tailored suit, the man was tall, middle-aged, and his eyes were filled with revenge. I’d seen that look before. He was a man who wouldn’t stop until he got justice for his kid. “This woman is armed and dangerous—”
Will turned off the television. I took a deep breath and attempted to put a smile on my face.
“I guess I won’t be on his Christmas list this year.”
“Raven,” Will sighed, “this is bad. If your mugshot wasn’t in every nook and cranny of Portland before, it is now. Commissioner Carter wants you dead or alive. He doesn’t care at this point. We’re running out of time.”
“Your human is right,” Fen said. “Your best option is to leave Midgard. Why do you insist on staying?” The wolf was getting antsy and looked like he couldn’t figure out what to do with his hands. He looked odd in Charlie’s apartment—overbearing.
Why did I stay? It was a question I’d been asking myself for some time now. I might not have been able to go back to Valhalla or Asgard, but there were other realms I could go to, so why did I stay with the humans? I’d convinced myself it was out of shame, but was it really? I never cared what others thought of me. Or maybe I was hoping my sisters would return and find me right where they left me. A girl could dream.
“If you leave now, the killer will still be roaming free and killing in your name,” Will said as he glared at Fen.
“Will is right,” Charlie said. “You can
’t—”
“This is nonsense!” Fen interrupted. “Who cares? Humans are—”
“I care!” I yelled unexpectedly. The room quieted as they watched me process my shock. Did I care? When had that happened? “I stay until this is cleared up. End of discussion.”
Without another word, I marched straight to the bathroom. Turning on the shower, I stripped bare and stood beneath the scalding water. Dunking my head, I shut my eyes and prayed to the gods above for help.
Will was waiting for me when I walked into Charlie’s guestroom to get dressed. In the short time I’d been gone, she’d organized the room, adding flowers and soft candles while neatly folding my personal belongings and sorting them in the closet and drawers. Will sat on the bed, his head hung low, and I felt his soul. He was conflicted, and with good reason. I didn’t envy his position. Playing both sides was dangerous. This was a game I’d played many times before and it never ended well. Someone always got hurt.
“I’m sorry about today,” he said. “I didn’t have time to call. I—”
“It’s okay, Will.”
“It’s not.” He looked up, the guilt evident on his face. “Maybe leaving isn’t such a bad idea.”
That gave me pause. Not too long ago he’d been adamant about me staying. “Why the change of heart? Did Fen threaten you?” My nostrils flared at the thought of the wolf trying to intimidate Will.
He shook his head. “I don’t think Commissioner Carter cares who the real murderer is as long as someone is to blame.”
I wasn’t surprised. It was a very typical human reaction.
“So who’s this mole you’ve been talking about?” I changed the subject. “Any leads?”
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