by Adele Abbott
“Thank you for your time.” I handed her my business card. “Please give me a call if you think of anything else that might help.”
“We will.”
On my way out, I spotted a small silver cup, standing amongst the frogs.
Sandra must have seen me looking at it because she remarked, “That’s Paul’s. He came first in the annual competition at his debating club.”
Now I was the one who was speechless.
***
From Mansfield, I headed to Newark, which was only about a forty-minute drive. I had plenty of time, and I was starting to feel quite peckish, so I pulled into a roadside diner called Skates.
The first thing I noticed when I stepped inside was the temperature. Someone had clearly gone a little crazy with the aircon because it was freezing in there.
“Wait there, please!” shouted a young woman, dressed in a blue and white striped top and a short blue skirt.
I did as she said, and then watched as she glided over to me.
“Welcome to Skates.” She glanced at my feet. “Did you bring your own?”
“Sorry?”
“Do you have your own skates, or would you like to borrow some?”
Only then, did I realise that she was wearing skates. And not roller skates, but ice skates.
“Actually, I was just hoping to grab something to eat.”
“That’s fine. Take my hand.”
I did as she said, and she helped me across the floor, which I now realised was one large ice rink.
Once we reached the safety of a booth, she kept hold of me until I was safely seated.
“Take a look at the menu, and I’ll be back in a few minutes to take your order.”
“Okay, thanks.”
I found it quite difficult to focus on the menu because someone was performing toe-loops only feet from my table.
My waitress returned a few minutes later. “Are you ready to order?”
“I think I’ll have the Lutz burger, please.”
“And to drink?”
“I don’t see any hot drinks on here?”
“That’s because we don’t serve them. People kept spilling them and melting the ice.”
“In that case I’ll have the Lasso strawberry milkshake.”
The food was surprisingly good, but the experience was marred a little when someone failed to land a triple salchow. Bravely, he managed a smile as the paramedics stretchered him away.
***
Esme and John James also lived in a bungalow. Theirs, however, was not cluttered with ornamental frogs. In fact, there wasn’t a single frog to be seen.
Cheese, though, that was a different matter. The whole house reeked of cheese, and the first thing Mr James said when I walked through the door was, “Would you care for some cheese?”
“I’m—err—okay, thanks.”
“Excellent.” After taking me through to the dining room, he scurried away and returned moments later with a cheeseboard.
I can take or leave cheese, and when I do partake, it’s usually cheddar, or if I’m feeling particularly adventurous, Brie. I’d certainly never seen anything quite like the eclectic selection that was now being offered to me.
“What kind of cheese is that?”
“Yak.”
“What about that one?”
“Casu Marzu.”
“What are those white things?” I flinched. “Are they—?”
“Maggots? Yes.”
“Do you think I could possibly have a biscuit instead?”
“Are you sure you wouldn’t like to try any of these?”
“Positive, thanks.”
“Very well.” Clearly disappointed, he took away the cheese (and maggots). When he returned, he had a packet of biscuits (cheese, naturally) and he was accompanied by his wife.
“Jill, this is Esme.” He handed me the packet of biscuits.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Esme.”
She may have spoken, but it came out as a squeak.
We took our seats around the dining table. Paul at one end, facing me. Esme seated to one side, picking at the pocket of her apron.
“Thank you both for sparing me your time today. I believe you were at the Cliffs Caravan Park at the same time as Walter and Jean Bell.”
“That’s right, but we were only there until the Tuesday, weren’t we, Esme?”
She nodded.
He continued, “We had to leave to attend the Cheese Appreciator’s annual awards ceremony, didn’t we, Esme?” Another nod from his wife. “I was presented with the Big Cheese award for the second year in a row, wasn’t I, Esme?”
She didn’t respond at all this time. Presumably, she was all nodded out.
“I understand that you’ve known the Bells for some time?” I said.
“We have indeed.” Paul was nibbling on a piece of cheese. “It must be fifteen years now.”
“Did you first meet them at the Cliffs?”
“Yes. We go back there most years, don’t we, Esme?”
“Always the same week as the Bells?”
“Not always, but most years.”
“How would you say they seemed this year?”
“A little subdued, I’d say, wouldn’t you, Esme?”
She nodded.
“Do you have any idea why that might have been?”
He thought about it for a moment. “Nothing I could put my finger on. Although, now I come to think about it, Walt did say something about their son, err—”
“Adam.”
“Yes. I got the impression that there had been some conflict between them, but Walt didn’t elaborate.”
“But you say they seemed quiet?”
“Yes, when I was telling them about my Big Cheese award, I could sense their attention was elsewhere.”
“Did they happen to mention how long they intended to stay at the Cliffs?”
“I understood they were going to stay until the Sunday.”
“And yet, they left on the Friday night. Don’t you find that a little strange?”
“Very, but then the whole thing is rather odd. Do you think something happened to them?”
“That’s what I’m hoping to find out.”
On my way out, I noticed a small silver plaque in a glass cabinet.
“Did you win that for debating?” I asked Esme.
She gave me a puzzled look but said nothing.
“That’s my Big Cheese award,” Paul corrected me.
My discussions with the Jameses and the Nightingales had revealed very little. The only thing I’d learned for sure was that both couples had believed the Bells had intended to stay at the Cliffs until the Sunday. What had triggered their change of heart? Why had they suddenly upped and left on the Friday night? According to the Nightingales, the Bells had been in good spirits. Paul James, though, had insisted they’d been subdued and distracted, but that could easily have been a reaction to his boring cheese-related monologue.
***
Unbelievably, when I arrived home, Jack was still upstairs in the spare bedroom.
“You can’t possibly still be working on that?”
“There’s a piece of track missing. Look!” He pointed to the rail track that now covered over half of the bedroom floor.
“Does it matter?”
“Of course it matters. Watch.”
He grabbed a small controller, flipped the switch, and one of the small engines began to trundle slowly around the track. At least, it did until it reached the point where the missing track should have been. Then it derailed and flipped onto its side.
“Is it meant to do that?” I grinned.
“Of course it isn’t. I’ve been swindled.”
“What are you going to do?”
“It’s okay. I called Mr Hosey earlier. He’s going to pop around in a few minutes. He reckons he’ll be able to find me a section of track to fill the gap.”
“You’ve asked Hosey to come around here? Are you insane?”
“W
hat else could I do? Oh, and there’s something else too.”
“What?”
“I kind of suggested he could join us for dinner.”
Chapter 15
“How many times do I have to say I’m sorry?” Jack looked at me across the kitchen table. “I made you a fry-up, isn’t that enough to get you to forgive me?”
“Not even close. You inflicted Mr Hosey on me for four hours last night. Not just one hour. Not two. Not even three. Four whole hours. That’s two-hundred and forty minutes. Or fifteen thousand seconds.”
“Fourteen-thousand, four hundred, actually.”
“Shut up!”
“Sorry. How was I supposed to know he’d stay so long?”
“You invited him for dinner.”
“I was just being polite.”
“What have I told you about being polite? It’s asking for trouble. And did you see the way he eats? Yuk! The man was talking all the time—I could see every mouthful. It turned my stomach.”
“He did come up with the missing piece of track for me, though.”
“It wasn’t worth the sacrifice.”
“What can I do to make it up to you?”
“I haven’t decided yet. You owe me big time for this, Jack. You have to promise that you’ll never invite him over here again.”
“Actually—”
“What?”
“He said he’d like to come and see my railway, once I’ve got it all set up.”
“That’s just great. I’ll expect plenty of warning so that I can make myself scarce.”
“Where will you go?”
“Anywhere. Just so long as I don’t have to be under the same roof as that man.”
Last night had been a whole new level of purgatory. Not only did Hosey have disgusting eating habits, but he had the ability to speak non-stop about trains for hours on end. By the time he left, my brain had turned to mush. The experience had seriously tested my resolve not to use magic in anger. How I’d resisted the temptation to turn him into a bug, and then squash him under foot, is nothing short of a miracle.
***
Even though Little Jack had said he’d be able to fulfil my rather unusual order, I’d had my doubts, but he’d come through for me, big time.
“Thanks, Jack, you’re a star.”
“My pleasure, Jill. Would you like me to help you take those boxes to your car?”
“It’s okay.” I lifted all three. “They’re not very heavy. Thanks again.”
From The Corner Shop, I headed straight to Washbridge Park. At that time of the morning, it was pretty much deserted apart from the occasional dog walker.
Being careful not to squash any of the dandelions, I put the three boxes on the grass. After opening one of them, and taking out a couple of samples, I shrank myself.
“Bill! Ben! Are you there?”
There was no answer, and I wondered if maybe I’d called too early in the day. Perhaps the Tye and Nees were late risers.
“Jill?” Ben yawned. His heavy eyes suggested I’d just woken him. “Good morning.”
“Hi. I’m sorry if I woke you.”
“It’s okay. I was about to get up anyway.”
“Morning, Jill!” Bill came to join us.” He too looked half asleep.
“I have something to show you.” I brought my hands out from behind my back.
“What are those?” Ben said.
“Umbrellas.” I put one up and handed it to him. “And there’s one for you, Bill.”
“These are fantastic.” Ben twirled the umbrella around and around.
“And so colourful.” Bill looked equally impressed.
“Will you be able to use these instead of treating the dandelions with SlowGrowth?”
“Definitely.” Ben nodded. “But we’ll need a lot of them.”
“I have two-thousand with me today, and I can get more if you need them.”
“That should be more than enough. How can we ever thank you, Jill?”
“You can start by neutralising the SlowGrowth that you’ve already spread on the dandelions.”
“No problem. We’ll get straight onto it.”
“Do either of you have a phone?” I asked.
“Of course. Who doesn’t have one these days?”
“I’ll give you my number. If you need any more umbrellas, just give me a call.”
“What about the cost of these?” Bill said. “You have to let us reimburse you.”
“You have money, too?”
“Of course we do. How else would we have bought the phones? Will this be enough?” He reached inside his pocket and brought out a wad of banknotes.
“That’s way too much.”
“Hold the rest on account for us. That way, when we do need more umbrellas, you’ll already have the cash.”
“Okay, thanks.”
After saying my goodbyes to Bill and Ben, I reflected on how curious it was that the Tye and Nees should have phones and cash, and yet have never heard of umbrellas. There wasn’t time to dwell on that, though, because I needed to pay a visit to the Oxford Botanical Gardens.
“Good morning, Jill,” Tingle said. I’d called her earlier to say I’d be coming over.
“Morning, Tingle.”
“Her Royal Dandelion is expecting you. Would you follow me, please?”
As I sat and chatted to the queen, dandelion tea and cake were once again the order of the day.
“And you say they’re called Tinys?” Dandy took a small bite of cake.
“Actually, there are two separate—err—tribes, I suppose you’d call them. There are the Tyes and then there are the Nees. They look very different, but they do seem to live alongside one another.”
“Interesting. And you’re sure we won’t have any more issues with them?”
“I don’t think so. The cocktail umbrellas seem to have done the trick.”
“All the good things I heard about you are true, Jill.” She picked up a small silver bell and rang it.
Almost immediately, Tingle came rushing into the room. “You rang, Your Dandelion?”
“Bring me the gift, would you?”
“Of course, Your Dandelion.” Tingle scurried out, and returned moments later with a small gift-wrapped box, which she handed to the queen.
“Thank you, Tingle. That will be all.” The queen handed the present to me. “This is just a little something to show our gratitude.”
“There really was no need for you to do that.”
“There was every need. Open it, please.”
Inside was a beautiful necklace with links in the shape of tiny dandelions.
“It’s beautiful, thank you.”
“I’m glad you like it. I designed it myself. I should also mention that it comes with three wishes.”
“Really?”
“Yes, but I must urge caution in their use because these necklaces are ultra-sensitive. If they hear the words I wish, they will react immediately, so be very careful what you say out loud.”
“Okay. I will. Thanks again.”
How very kind of the queen. Not only was it a beautiful necklace, but I also had three wishes. All I had to do now was to decide what I should use them for.
Decisions, decisions.
***
Mrs V was busy at work on her computer.
“Morning, Jill.”
“Hi. Did you come to any decision about the house?”
“I didn’t, I’m afraid. I wish I could make my mind up.”
I almost jumped out of my skin as the dandelion necklace began to vibrate. Fortunately, it stopped as quickly as it had started. All very weird.
“That’s it!” Mrs V announced. “I’ve decided. We’re going to buy the cuckoo house.”
“You are? I thought you weren’t sure.”
“I am now. There’s no doubt in my mind.”
“Good for you.”
There was no sign of Winky, but there were some strange mechanical noises coming from behind the
screen.
“Winky? Is that you behind there? What are you up to?”
“I’m busy.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. Given recent events (for which, read: zip wires and tunnelling machines), I didn’t feel comfortable not knowing what he was up to, so I took a peek behind the screen.
“What’s that?”
“It’s a printing press.”
“What’s it doing in here?”
“Don’t you have some work you should be doing? I’m up against a deadline here.”
“A deadline for what?” I walked around the machine to find out what he was printing. “Love Your Cat greetings cards? I should have known! I didn’t think I’d heard of it before. You invented the whole thing, didn’t you?”
“I’m only looking after the interests of my fellow felines.”
“Don’t give me that rubbish. You’ve done this so you can sell these overpriced cards. You must be making a small fortune.”
“A big fortune, actually. At least, I would be if I could get them printed quicker.” He kicked the printing press. “This thing is just too slow. I’ll never have them all printed in time. I wish it would go ten times faster.”
The necklace vibrated again. What was wrong with the stupid thing? This was starting to freak me out.
“Yes!” Winky punched the air. “That’s what I’m talking about.”
It took me a moment to figure out what had caused him to get so excited, but then I realised the printing press was now churning out the cards much faster. He must have found a way to adjust the speed.
I’d no sooner taken a seat at my desk than Harold appeared on the window ledge. “Morning, Jill.”
“Morning, Harold.” I crossed my fingers and asked, “How was the cake?”
“Very nice, thanks. Ida really enjoyed it. I think I must be losing my marbles, though.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I could have sworn I’d ordered a sponge cake, but it turned out to be fruit.”
“Oh? You must have been mistaken.”
“It wouldn’t be the first time.” He shivered.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m just a little cold. I wish the sun would come out for a change.”
