I shudder, feeling wet between my thighs. I realize we’ve yet to use a condom. I’m on birth control, so I’m not concerned, but a tiny thought of us having a baby together flashes in my mind, and even though I have no clue how to be a mom, I don’t hate the idea.
I exhale thoughts of babies. We have too much shit going on for that to happen right now. Bryce kisses my forehead and I lean up, still straddling him with my hands on his chest. My muscles protest and my shoulder screams. Now that I’m not riding high on Bryce Grant, I feel how fucked up I am.
My face burns, my eye is puffy, and I’m exhausted.
Slightly narrowed eyes study me deeply, his lips swollen from my kiss are slit. “I love you,” he says, his voice gruff and deep. With my middle finger, I gently draw a small heart over his, remembering the note he left me forever ago where he drew a tiny heart.
“And I love you,” I reply.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I wake the next day hurting more than the night before. Bryce has gone for his workout and I sit up and grab my cell from the bedside table. I don’t even want to see myself, knowing I look as awful as I feel.
I look to see if I have any messages before telling my phone to dial Claire.
“Hello,” she says on the second ring.
“Hey,” I reply. “How are you?”
She doesn’t say anything for a moment, and then she bursts into tears.
“Claire,” I say. “It’s okay. Everything is okay.”
“I’m so sorry,” she says between sobs.
My heart splits. Why is she sorry? This wasn’t her fault.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. Where are you?”
“I’m at home. Austin just left to go grab us some breakfast.”
“I’ll be there in a minute,” I say.
“Okay. I’ll call him and tell him to pick you up something, too.”
“Okay.” I hang up and go to the bathroom. I try not to, but my eyes go to the mirror and I flinch at the sight of me. Jesus Christ. I run a finger over my broken face.
My wrists are scabbing over, but I need to doctor myself up. I should have last night, but I was too tired to care. Once I moved off of Bryce, I fell asleep with his arms around me. I shake my head and stop looking at my reflection.
I grab Bryce’s toothbrush and quickly brush my teeth before wrapping my hair up in the ponytail holder I luckily left on the counter at some point. Bryce is right. I need to bring some things over here.
I put on last night’s clothes and pad down to the living room and kitchen, realizing when I hit the bottom stairs that I don’t have a car.
“Shit,” I curse. I can’t take an Uber looking like this. I pick up my phone and call Austin.
“Hey, Kat. You okay?” he asks.
“Yeah… well, I guess,” I reply. “I don’t have my car. Can you swing by Bryce’s and pick me up?”
“Yeah. I’m leaving the drive-thru now. Be there in a few minutes.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem.”
I walk over to my high heels and scoop them up before sliding them on. Making my way over to the stack of mail, I flip an envelope over and open a drawer to look for a pen. Finding one, I write Bryce a note, telling him I went home, and at the end of it, I draw a heart, just like he did for me.
The proof of rain shines on the pavement when I walk outside to climb into Austin’s car. It’s a classic that he rebuilt himself. It purrs and then roars to life when he shifts into first gear.
He looks over at me. “Fucking hell,” he says, his voice laced with sick sadness.
I know I look shocking, and I know this isn’t easy for my best guy friend to see. Hell, I have a hard time looking at it myself.
I sigh. “I know.”
Austin grips onto the wheel. The smell of takeout breakfast in the back seat makes my stomach growl.
I never ate last night.
I look out the window as we head to mine and Claire’s place. The world is silver gray, gloomy. It’s cold and depressing. Heat blows from the vents in the car, and I put my hands up to it, trying to warm my bones.
“Kat, your wrists,” Austin says in shock.
I flip my hands over, looking at the slits. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think I tried to off myself.
“I’m going to wrap them when I get home.”
Austin slams his hand down onto the steering wheel, causing me to jump. “That motherfucker,” he says through gritted teeth. He rubs his face before reaching up and grabbing his pack of smokes from the dashboard. Letting his knee do the driving, he hits the pack against his palm and slides one out. Tossing them back onto the dash, he lifts up and pulls his lighter from his pocket before striking it and burning the end.
Smoke overpowers the takeout food and eases my best guy’s nerves.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He runs his hand through his dirty blond hair.
I laugh. “After the shit I’ve been through, you showing that you’re angry at what Cain did doesn’t scare me, Austin.”
“I shouldn’t have let this happened. We got too careless.”
“Are you serious?” I ask disbelievingly. “None of us saw this coming. We all thought he was gone. This is no one’s fault.”
When I say that out loud, my mind immediately goes back to the man with black hair.
“Sorry for the loose ends. It’s not my style.”
Questions linger on the tip of my tongue, but the person I want answers from isn’t here.
Who was that man, and why was he apologizing to Bryce? Was he the dog Cain was talking about?
Did Bryce hire someone to kill Cain?
I look out the windshield, my eyes scanning mindlessly as we pass by buildings and parked cars.
What is Bryce mixed up in? My heart deflates at the thought that I might not really know him, and like he’s read my mind, Austin says, “Who was that guy who shot Cain?”
I look over at him. Smoke curls out of the cracked window as the cigarette rests between his fingers. Austin has permanent grease stains under his nails from working on cars his whole life. He not only rebuilds them, he fixes them for part-time cash.
Although I’m not sure why. The boy gets paid a shit load to rebuild old classics that have been left to rust.
“I don’t know. That’s the first time I’ve ever seen him.”
Austin gives me a sideways glance. “How much do you really know about Bryce?”
My heart gets defensive and buffs up its chest.
“Don’t talk about our man,” it says.
But my mind tells it to back off. Austin is right. I only know what Bryce has told me.
Regardless, it doesn’t change the way I feel about him. I’ve made up my mind about that. Bryce may have his secrets, but if he loves me like he says he does, like I feel he does, then eventually he will share them with me.
And if it’s up to this girl, it will be sooner than later even if I have to make meaningless threats to get it out.
“I know him well enough,” I say, looking out the window. “We didn’t really get a chance to talk last night.” I bite my lip, thinking back on what we actually did make time for. Butterflies swarm in the bottom of my belly as my chest grows lighter.
“Y’all didn’t talk about anything that went down?” he asks, pulling up to our apartment.
I look back at him. “No. It was late, and after everything that happened, I didn’t feel up to it.”
He nods in understanding. “Typical Kat.” He pulls the e-brake up and wiggles the gear shifter, making sure the car is in neutral.
“Hey, I’m getting better,” I say in defense.
He chuckles before reaching in the back with the smoke hanging from his lips.
“What do you mean you know?” I ask as he grabs the food. Has Claire told him what I told her about my past? I’m not mad at her. Austin is like my family. I’m a little relieved if she has. It means I won’t have
to.
He talks over his smoke as he removes the keys from the ignition. “Claire may have mentioned a few things.”
I nod. “Okay.” I give a closed smile before I open my car door. We say nothing else about it as Austin pulls the door open, letting me go first before taking one last hit from his cigarette and tossing it into the road.
Claire sits on the sofa with her hair pulled away from her neck and her feet up.
“Hey,” I say, removing my coat and walking over to her. She covers her mouth, her eyes filling with tears. I look over her face and body. She’s wearing black sweatpants and a long-sleeved T-shirt so I can’t see the bruises I know are on her legs. Black mixes with blue, and one of her eyes is bloodshot. Her lip is busted, and looking down at her wrists I see marks that resemble mine but aren’t as bad.
“Good God,” she breathes, shaking her head.
“We’re a sight, aren’t we?” I ask as I sit down beside her. I try to make light of the situation. Make her see that we’re okay. Bruises and wounds heal. We’ll be okay. Austin walks past us and goes into the kitchen, giving us a little privacy.
“Kat, I’m so sorry.” Her tears spill over, wetting a web of lashes.
I reach and grab her hand. “This is not your fault. None of this is anyone’s fault,” I say a little louder so Austin can hear me again.
Our apartment has an open floor plan, so the kitchen isn’t closed off. While Austin removes our food from the brown bag, he will hear me.
“Cain was a bad person, Claire. You didn’t deserve this, and you are not to blame.” She lifts her free hand and gently touches the side of my jaw.
“He hit you so many times,” she says, her voice full of emotion. “And I just lay there.”
“You were tied up, just like me. How do you think I’m feeling knowing I couldn’t do anything when he…?”
She closes her eyes and swallows. My phone starts to ring in my pocket. I reach up and slide it out, seeing it’s Bryce.
“Hey,” I answer.
“Hey, you left?”
“Yeah.” I clear my throat. “I’ll be right back,” I mouth to Claire. She nods and I stand and walk to the stairs. “I needed to come check on Claire and to change clothes.”
“Oh,” he says. “Yeah, of course.”
He’s quiet for a moment as I walk into my room. I breathe in, happy to be home. Kicking the uncomfortable heels off my feet, I walk over to my bed and remove my earrings and bangle bracelets.
“Are you coming back?” he asks.
I look around my room, wondering what I am going to do. Mugs & Books has a grand reopening next week. We still have some last-minute things to get together in the kitchen and a menu to make. We’ve continued selling coffee from a stand for a few hours in the morning to keep the regulars happy. But I don’t think I can be there until my face heals. Becca, bless her, has been a godsend. She’s been working her ass off, and I know she needs a break. I’ve had a lot going on, and while I should have hired her some help, she insisted she could handle it.
I need to give that girl a raise and a paid vacation. I think I’ll call her today and tell her just that. To take a week and a half off.
I can’t show my face there. People will ask too many questions, and I’m in no shape to answer them. There’s been no arrest. There’s no proof that Cain did this to me, and I can’t deal with the looks.
I could handle them fine when I worked at the diner because no one asked me anything. They’d look, of course, but there were never any questions.
But with all that being figured out, I still haven’t answered Bryce. Am I coming back?
Of course, I am.
“Yes. I just need to grab a few things from here and, honestly, Bryce, I think Claire and I need to get checked out. My jaw is killing me, and Claire was raped.”
“Y’all can’t go to the hospital,” he says.
“Then what are we supposed to do?” Duh, we can’t go to the hospital. The man who did this to us is dead, and it wasn’t done in a legal way. I’m sure if Claire or I would have killed him, then it would have been self-defense. But we didn’t. It was done by another’s hand, and that person looked like he was good at it.
I have so much to ask Bryce. I need to know what the hell is going on in his life.
“I know someone. I’ll call them.”
“Umm, okay.” He hangs up without saying goodbye. I look at the phone, unsure of anything anymore, wondering what I’ve gotten myself into.
I grew up in house where illegal things were done all the time. I’m no stranger to people breaking the law, and it doesn’t bother me that much.
Like everything else I’ve dealt with, I’ve become immune to it. If you want to do shit that could land you in jail or prison, that’s none of my business, but now, I’m afraid I may be the one who could get into trouble.
We all were witnesses to Cain’s murder. Claire, Austin, Jace, Bryce, me, and even Ben. Hell, Claire’s DNA was on the floor. And even though it all scares me, there’s this calm feeling inside of me that tells me it’s all going to be okay.
I can’t explain it. I have no idea why I feel that way, considering I have no answers to anything. I rub my face, the break of the skin on my wrist stings, reminding me I need to clean and wrap them. I stand up and remove my clothes, tossing them into the hamper.
I change into a pair of Adidas joggers and a long-sleeved T-shirt that reads coffee and books are my jam. I roll my eyes at the shirt, thinking how simple life was when I bought this thing.
Once I doctor my wrists, I hurry back downstairs with my phone to eat a little something and have a cup of coffee. Austin and Claire are sitting pretty close and eating in silence. I haven’t thought about their relationship in a while.
Bryce told me to stay out of it, so I have, but I know I heard Austin call Claire baby when he cut her free. I know they have secret looks and look at them now. Sitting side by side. She stayed with him when we found out Cain was back. I never asked if anything went on, because they grew up together.
This wasn’t the first time they’d slept in the same house together. It might have been the first time they stayed alone, though.
I smile as I grab my sausage biscuit, and it’s the first time I’ve smiled in more than a few days.
It hurts. I move my jaw, feeling the sharp sting of soreness. I wince, literally feeling as though a fucking truck has hit me. My back is sore, and my shoulder is black and blue from hitting the floor. My wrists burn, and my face feels like a balloon.
Life’s been nothing but a roller coaster for me lately. Huge hills of emotional shit. I take a few bites of my food, standing by the kitchen island. I look down at the cement floor as the heat kicks on above me.
My pale feet stand out against gray brown. My toes could use a paint of polish. I shake my head. I’m in need of some serious self-care. Claire winces when she stands up from the sofa, causing me to look up.
She’s hurting, just like me, except in different places. My eyes go down to her legs, remembering Cain ripped them open.
“You all right?” I ask her as she tosses her trash into the can.
She exhales. “Sore as fuck.”
“Yeah, me, too. We need to go to the doctor and get checked out. Make sure our injuries aren’t more serious.”
“How are we going to do that?” Claire asks, her hand going to her stomach.
“Bryce said he knows someone.” I shrug, taking another bite of my food.
“He knows someone?” she asks, looking green.
“Yeah. You okay?”
She shakes her head and runs around the corner to the downstairs half bath. I look over at Austin as the sounds of her puking fill the apartment.
He frowns. I look back as she walks out, her face pale and clammy.
“Nerves are bad,” she says.
I narrow my eyes, a flash of worry in my chest, but then my phone vibrates. I peek over at the screen, seeing it’s my boyfriend again.
Boyfriend. My heart wiggles its brows. I roll my eyes.
“Hey,” I say, holding my phone between my good cheek and shoulder.
“Can you and Claire be ready in twenty minutes? The guy I know has an opening.”
I look over at Claire as she drinks a sip of water from the fridge dispenser.
“Hold on,” I say, removing the phone. “Would you like to go today?” I ask her.
“Is that Bryce?”
I nod. “He says the guy he knows has an opening in twenty minutes.”
She shrugs. “Why not.” She doesn’t say it like she’s down for whatever. She says it like she’s lost hope and has no idea where we go from here.
I realize my best friend has not only been through something traumatic, she’s discovered that Cain made up everything. She had a job she loved; she was a chef like she always wanted.
But this whole time he was the puppeteer. He was in control of everything.
I put the phone back to my ear. “Yeah.”
“Okay. I’ll pick y’all up.”
“Thanks,” I reply.
“See you in a bit.” He hangs up and I crumble my wrapper. After tossing it into the trashcan, I wipe my hands of crumbs and reach for Claire’s cup of water. She hands it to me as Austin stands from the couch.
He pulls a smoke out from behind his ear after he rinses his hands off from eating. He licks his lips, looking down at the cigarette between his fingers. “I can’t be the only one asking what the fuck is going on here, right?”
My eyes bounce to Claire. Her face is expressionless, and it kills me. How can I fix her?
“No,” I say to Austin. “You’re not.”
“Thank fuck,” he says. “I mean, we witnessed a man get murdered. We all stood there and watched someone get shot in the head. What are we supposed to do with that?”
I shake my head, crossing my arms and leaning against the counter. “I don’t know.”
“How does Bryce know those men? Is that why Cain disappeared, because Bryce hired someone to get rid of him?”
Austin is asking the same questions I’m asking. No one wants to know these things more than me.
Give Me Perfect Love (Give Me Series Book 2) Page 17
