And she needed Cade. But right now wasn’t about him. Maybe it was supposed to happen this way—playing the piano tonight. Maybe it was a kick in the pants for her to start living again. Sure, she’d blamed her parents, Mrs. Casey, but what was really stopping her now? Her mother had been bedridden for almost two years before she’d died. Sarah could have started reaching out to the outside world then. Instead, she’d stayed hidden away. Had she been that weak, that impressionable, that it took someone like Cade to draw her out of her shell?
A hand on her shoulder startled her, and she looked up to see Aiden standing there. She gave him a sheepish smile. “Sorry, psyching myself up. I’m good to go now.”
He gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze and walked to the podium.
As he introduced her, her stomach turned into a giant knot. Just as she feared, the boisterous crowd became silent. She didn’t turn to look at anyone, because she knew what she needed right now had to come from the inside. She touched the locket for a brief second. A shiver stole through her as she depressed the first key, the second, and then let her hands and her heart do the rest. The crowd, their expectations, everything receded, and it was just her and the music that had once given her so much joy.
For the first time since Josh died, she played without sorrow threatening to overtake her, and instead played with an incredible lightness and freedom that reminded her of the girl she used to be.
She let the light guide her fingers and fill her soul. She let her heart open to the people here with her.
When that first song ended, she sat still, out of breath, exhilarated, exhausted, but whole. The silence in the room seemed to get louder in her mind, to her ears, and she held her breath. And then the room erupted with cheers and whistles and the scraping of chairs against the floor. Sarah squeezed her eyes shut, knowing this was so much more than one song; she was reclaiming life. It was a different one than she ever would have imagined, without the people she thought would have been with her longer, but it was with people who made her happy.
Sarah turned in her seat, her eyes blurry, her gaze roaming through everyone to see Cade standing with their friends, clapping, the smile on his face, the pride in his eyes making her smile and solidifying that feeling deep inside that this was right.
Chapter Fifteen
Cade didn’t even know who he was anymore. Only because he’d witnessed Tyler falling for Lainey last year did he recognize the warning signs.
The second he’d walked into River’s last night, he’d known she was there. The air felt different when Sarah was around. Sure enough, she was sitting there with Hope and Lainey, looking as though they’d all been friends for years. It had made him so damn happy to know that she was out with Lainey and Hope. But the second he’d sat beside her, he knew he was a goner. It was why he’d tried not to get too close during the week—it was almost impossible to be around her and want to touch her or kiss her. He was attracted to her on so many levels that he hadn’t experienced before. This was all new to him.
He’d been pissed off for most of the day because he was falling for a woman he couldn’t have. Then, when he did see Sarah, he was even more pissed off because he had to pretend they were just friends. When he’d held her close again last night, he knew he was a goner, but he didn’t know how to stop himself from wanting her.
So he was going to take her out…as a friend.
It was for the best. If things went too fast, he’d get roped into…something. He wasn’t okay with that—for her sake. She didn’t really know him in the way she thought. She saw him as this great guy, but if she really knew who he was or where he came from, then she might realize he wasn’t the one for her.
He pulled open the door to Tilly’s Diner and swore under his breath when he saw his best friends sitting at the counter. Great. They were going to have a field day with this one.
The diner hadn’t opened for the day yet, but Dean and Tyler were already there. Didn’t anyone work on a Saturday anymore?
“Hey, Cade! Your picnic order’s almost ready,” Lainey called out, giving him a sweet smile, completely oblivious to the havoc she’d just unleashed. She disappeared into the kitchen, and Dean and Tyler turned around on the stools slowly, their smiles those of kids on Christmas morning.
“Picnic order?” Tyler said.
Cade shot them a look that normally would have shut them up, but clearly he didn’t have that kind of respect anymore.
“Is it in a basket, Lainey?” Dean called out.
“My cutest one!” she yelled from the kitchen.
“How do you even have a license to practice medicine?” Cade grumbled, leaning against the counter, no intention of sitting down with them.
Tyler barked out a laugh at that one. “So you’re taking Sarah out on a picnic? That’s very…charming…and very unlike you,” Tyler said.
Cade braced his hands on the counter. “That’s funny. Kind of like how you suddenly attend church on Sundays.”
Tyler frowned at him.
“Well, you’ll both be reassured that I’ll never change a damn thing about myself for another person,” Dean said.
“Yeah, you’re really winning at life, Dean,” Tyler said.
“Can you guys stop insulting each other?” Lainey said as she came out of the kitchen. Tyler and Dean burst out laughing when they spotted the basket, and Cade had to close his eyes momentarily at the sight of it. He didn’t want to hurt Lainey’s feelings, but it was a giant basket with red-and-white-checked lining that peeked through where she had a bottle of San Pellegrino poking out. Nothing he would ever be caught dead purchasing.
She placed the basket in front of him on the counter. He slipped her a large bill and grabbed the handle, wanting to take it and leave as quickly as possible.
Unfortunately, she plucked his hand off and opened both sides of the lid and insisted on giving him a walk-through. “Okay, so everything in here is dairy-free, sugar-free, and gluten-free.”
She paused as Tyler and Dean snickered. Lainey turned to them. “Are you guys twelve?”
They both shook their heads quickly.
“This is for Sarah,” she said to them.
“Sure, sweetheart,” Tyler said.
Satisfied, Lainey turned back to face him. “I picked up this amazing vegan cheese from the Cheese Boutique, assorted imported cold cuts, along with these gluten-free crackers. Of course, there’re fresh grapes and strawberries. Because it’s for you, I did manage to pack up a single-portion lasagna,” she said with a wink that made it impossible for him to be irritated. “For dessert, I baked a gluten-free chocolate chip banana bread. Oh! There’s also a small thermos of coffee with dairy-free creamer, in case you want some with dessert and, of course, the San Pellegrino. I think that’s it. Does that sound good?”
He cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah, you went above and beyond. Thanks very much, Lainey.”
She beamed. “I’m so happy. I just love Sarah.”
“Yeah, we love Sarah,” Dean said, giving him a dumb smile.
“Oh! Shoot. I didn’t even think of getting champagne!” Lainey said, leaning against the counter, a finger to her chin.
He rubbed the back of his neck and ducked his head. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Oh, Cade, what will you do without champagne?” Tyler asked.
Lainey turned around slowly, a hand on her hip. “Tyler, are you making fun of me?”
“No, ma’am,” Tyler said with a sparkle in his eye and a slight smile that for some reason Lainey must have found charming, because she laughed.
Cade shut the lid on the basket, leaving the money on the counter. “Well, thanks again. I should really get going,” he said, backing up.
“Make sure you get champagne,” Lainey said. “It’ll be perfect with the strawberries.”
“Nah, Cade, why don’t you bring that cheap b
eer you tried to pawn off on us last weekend?” Dean said.
Because Lainey was around, Cade didn’t want to use his choicest words for his best friends, so he flipped them off…just as Father Andy walked through the door.
Of all the luck. “Morning, Father,” Cade said, using his middle finger to scratch an imaginary itch on his cheek.
“Wonderful day for a picnic, Cade. And a wonderful day to take a special young lady out,” Father said.
Lainey’s face turned red, and she quickly ducked behind the counter.
Hell, sometimes Cade hated small-town life and the gossip that came with it.
Cade nodded and hurried out the door like he had a train to catch. He placed the picnic basket on the passenger seat beside him, then drove back to the ranch. Luckily, the farther from town he got, the happier he became.
He found himself thinking about spending the day with Sarah without anyone around. Of course, that led to other thoughts of things they could be doing without other people around. But really, if Tyler or Dean had told him a year ago that he’d be going on a picnic—one that he’d planned, with a woman he wanted morning, noon, and night but knew he couldn’t actually have—he’d have laughed his ass off. Cade didn’t think he’d ever even been on a picnic.
So why the hell was he doing this? Because Sarah had mentioned how one of her favorite things to do was go on picnics with her family.
God, who was he?
He pulled into the ranch thirty minutes later, and she was already walking down the front steps of the ranch house. Her dark hair shone in the sunlight, the wind picking up a few strands. Her red-and-white-checked shirt was tucked into her skinny jeans, and she was smiling as she walked toward him. He’d never had anyone look so damn happy to see him.
Maybe it was that, or maybe it was that he’d never been so damn happy to see anyone that it made him forget they were at the ranch, that they were just friends, that Mrs. Casey was probably peering at them while making the sign of the cross from her bedroom window, but he met Sarah halfway.
“Hi, friend,” she said with an adorable smile that made him want to pull her into his arms and kiss her until there was no doubt in her mind that they would always be more than friends. Sarah made him forget everyone else. Sometimes she even made him forget his past, because the present with her was so damn good.
“You’re going to use that against me forever, aren’t you?” he asked, holding open the door for her.
“You bet.” She laughed.
As he rounded the cab of his truck, the idea of there not being a future with her struck him. Ideally, he’d work one ranch for the rest of his life and then retire. Would this be that ranch? If so, he’d work here until he was in his sixties and then…leave. What would happen to them during those years? One or both of them would get married? How would they go on with other people and then just pretend this thing between them had never happened?
He shoved all those thoughts to the back of his mind and hopped into the truck. It would ruin his day, thinking about her married to someone, having kids with someone.
“Where are we going?” she asked once he pulled out of the driveway.
He shot her a smile but kept his eyes on the road. “Three guesses.”
“River’s?”
“People don’t go there during the day unless they’re really hard-luck cases.” He didn’t add that he’d been there a few days in his lifetime.
“Okay…Tilly’s.”
“Good guess, but nope.”
“Uh…the Highwayman? We can check in on Carl.”
He choked on his laugh. “I’m sure Carl is fine. And I don’t think either of us ever wants to go back there.”
“All right. Fine. Are we coming home tonight?”
“Uh, damn straight. Unless we want to dodge Mrs. Casey and the shotgun she’d have waiting for me when we returned.” Again, who was this version of himself? Worried about an elderly chaperone/housekeeper and propriety? It was like he was living in the last century. But the woman beside him made it very hard for him to complain.
She sat back and let out a theatric sigh. “I give up!”
A few minutes later, he pulled off the road to the clearing he knew all too well. It was the winding road that led out of downtown, the one with the old red barn that Lainey had painted and hung in her diner.
The banks of Wishing River would make the perfect spot for their picnic. He hoped that she’d be happy and that it wouldn’t spark any sadness as she remembered days with her family. If it did, he swore he’d make her happy somehow.
“We’re here,” he said, hopping out of the truck.
“Where?” she asked, rounding the corner of the truck to his side. He pulled out the picnic basket, and her eyes widened.
He grinned and slammed the door shut.
“A picnic?” she breathed. The image of her telling him she didn’t cry at the Highwayman floated across his mind, because for a second, there was a sheen in her eyes before she blinked it away.
He nodded, grabbing her hand and walking.
“You planned a picnic?”
“I’m not sure why everyone seems surprised by this and if I should be insulted. Are you more surprised that I planned a picnic or are you surprised that I was able to plan a picnic?”
She laughed, the sound making him smile, and he squeezed her hand. “You just don’t strike me as the picnic sort of guy.”
He didn’t think he’d ever felt so comfortable with another person or so at peace. He didn’t know how she did that. “Well, I’m open to new experiences. You…told me about your family and that you loved picnics, so I thought…”
They had stopped walking, and he almost felt awkward or bad or guilty somehow because she was staring at him as though he’d just given her a million dollars. Then she threw her arms around him, and he immediately hauled her up against him.
“Thank you,” she whispered against his neck.
He slowly put her down, her soft curves gliding against his body. He reached for and squeezed her hand, then kept walking in the direction of the clearing. He didn’t want to get too close to her; he didn’t want to ruin this or push too hard because he didn’t even know what was happening.
“I never would have guessed you were such a softie,” she said.
He glanced over at her, his eyebrow raised. “I’m not.”
She gave him a mischievous smile. “I think you are. Everything you’ve done for me, our night together. I mean, I may have been pretty isolated and lonely, but I’m not completely delusional. You don’t exactly strike me as the type of man who stays up eating candy and talking in a motel room or going on picnics and holding hands all day.”
He stopped at the clearing and busied himself with spreading out the checked picnic blanket Lainey had lent him, purposefully not answering her. He had no idea what to say. Of course this wasn’t how he spent his time with women. But with Sarah…it wasn’t like that. He wanted to do this stuff because she wanted to do this stuff. That made him happy. All of that was an entirely new concept for him.
“What do you think of this spot?” he asked, sitting down on the blanket and taking out the containers of food.
“This is absolutely gorgeous. The river, the flowers, the mountains. All of it,” she said, sitting down opposite him.
“I hope you haven’t had lunch, because Lainey packed this thing to the brim,” he said, opening the San Pellegrino and pouring two glasses. “Everything is gluten-, dairy-, and sugar-free. Except the lasagna—she knows I’m kind of obsessed with it. But I don’t have to eat it now.”
She was staring at him with that same expression again, her eyes slightly glazed. “That’s really sweet. You go ahead and eat it; it won’t bother me.”
He shrugged. “I’ll save it for later. There’s other things—crackers, some kind of vegan cheese, fruit�
��but that can sit. Oh, she also made banana bread, I think, and coffee with dairy-free creamer.”
“Uh, talk about hitting the jackpot in the friends department,” she said, reaching for the cutlery and napkins while he pulled everything else out.
“I know. You guys seemed to be getting along,” he said as they helped themselves to the food.
She beamed. “They texted and asked if I wanted to meet them at River’s the night you saw us there. Luckily, Wishing River is so small, I knew where it was. I hear you’re a regular?”
He took a long drink of water. He had no idea what Lainey and Hope had told Sarah about his…dating life. But the fact that she was still smiling was a reassuring sign. He shrugged. “There’s not a lot of places to go in a town like this, so Dean, Tyler, and I hang out there a lot.”
She nodded, popping a grape into her mouth. “I guess that’s where single people in town go to hook up?”
This was the last conversation he wanted to be having with her. But he also didn’t want to lie. “It’s sort of known for that.”
She nodded, looking toward the river. “I always love how Wishing River can look like it has diamonds sparkling on it when the sunlight hits it perfectly.”
Hell. “Sarah, I know that we both have different lives…”
“I don’t have a life, remember?” she said with a smile that was too tight to be a real one and a tone way too chipper to be believed.
“Is that what’s bothering you?”
“Omigosh, what am I doing? Never mind. I’m fine. Let’s just enjoy this lunch that you went to so much trouble getting.”
“It was no trouble,” he said.
“But it was so thoughtful. You remembered. You took the time to do this for me even though you’ve probably never done anything like this before.” She smiled, a real one this time. “I’ve been getting the vibe that you’re not the ‘Sunday night roast beef dinner and meeting the parents’ type of guy.”
He didn’t even know what that was. He only found out about Sunday night dinners when he lived at Tyler’s place. That had been the first place he’d ever had a home-cooked meal. Before that, it had been just putting together whatever he could find. When he’d lived with his grandfather, he’d been the one responsible for cooking—and he didn’t cook. Over the years, he’d learned a thing or two, but he mostly ate at Tilly’s or the canteen at whatever ranch he worked at. So Sunday night dinners weren’t his thing, with or without the parents. “That’s true,” he said, knowing he was going to have to expand on something.
Cowboy For Hire Page 18
