“Nothing smart to say Red?” He held my head back and stared into my wide eyes. Who can talk let alone form a thought? All I could do is shake my head as I watched his head lower to mine for another one of his tongue assaults on my senses.
By the time this one ended I was breathless and we had an audience. I forgot to be self-conscious when I saw the looks of envy on some of their faces.
Jared didn’t acknowledge anyone when he took my hand and pulled me along behind him back to where our friends still sat having lunch.
I didn’t know what to do with myself now. Do I look at him, talk to him, what?
He took the decision out of my hands when he wrapped one arm around the back of my chair and leaned over to say something to one of the guys.
It was a very natural move on his part, almost as if he’d been doing it everyday of his life. Oh to be that free and confident.
He must’ve felt the slight change that came over me when my mind, as was usual for me, started thinking up all the ways that this wouldn’t or couldn’t work.
First he squeezed my shoulder, before turning those eyes on me again. But when he leaned in and whispered in my ear, I thought for sure I was a goner.
“In case you missed it, the kiss was a warning shot. I’ve made my intentions known now it’s up to you to answer.
I’ll give you about a week to get over your shit and yes Belle, I know you have a lot of it, but I’m not doing that with you.
Before my sister was attacked, I would’ve gladly given you all the time in the world to adjust to the idea of you and me. But after living through that shit, I’m no longer willing to put my life on hold because you’ve got hang-ups that don’t have shit to do with me.”
I had no comeback for that one. That happens a lot with him, he seems to rob me of words and thoughts.
The sweet rush that went through me should be bottled and placed on a shelf for future use. How often in life do we get those kinds of feelings?
Like everything in your world was just perfect at that particular moment in time.
I could only look at his beautiful face and wonder. Could this really be happening to me? I so wanted to take that leap with him, but what if...?
No, he was right, maybe just this once I could close my eyes and jump into the deep end of the pool.
I’ve always wanted to; always wondered what it would feel like. And when he squeezed my hand under the table, it was as if he was agreeing with me.
I drew in my breath and looked across the table where Tammy was talking to Shane.
My friend had been coming out of her shell here lately. She still had a ways to go, but I could see a big change in the way she was around him in the last few days.
It’s been a while since we’ve had to have one of our pity parties; in fact these days, our conversations were upbeat and full of plans for the next year of high school.
So I squeezed his hand back and smiled when he looked at me. He grinned and leaned over, planting a kiss on my lips right there in front of everyone.
Oh well, I guess that’s that. Now we’ll see how well I do on this roller coaster ride.
Chapter 4
JACE
For two days she slept and I kept vigil. I left it up to our dads to keep on top of the investigation that was now in full swing.
Her mom and mine were in and out for those two days, as well as a limited number of our friends, namely her girls and my boys.
I hadn’t shared my thoughts with anyone else but Jared so far though, but I was pretty sure dad knew I was up to something, because he kept giving me looks, and I’m sure he told his team to keep an eye on me.
He needn’t have worried though, because I had no intentions on leaving her side until this was all over.
I had time enough to plan, to try to set my trap while she was laid up in that bed not moving.
So far nothing was adding up. Everyone claimed that Mandy had been on that bus and I couldn’t for the life of me place her in that alley, but neither could I shake the certainty that she was the cause of all this.
The way the investigation was going, they would have us believe that this was just a random act of violence, but somehow I couldn’t buy it.
I’ve been replaying every conversation we’d had in the last few days before I last saw her, and nothing. Except for the time that I called her because I knew that something was bothering her.
But I never did learn what that something was, because she brushed me off. That was not going to happen again. From now on I was going to make it my business to know even the littlest things about her life.
No wonder dad was nuts. I don’t know how often I’ve thought those words in the last few hours. But since meeting and falling in love with her, it was easy to see why he is the way he is. I will do no less for my princess, than he does for mom.
I hadn’t allowed myself to breathe easy yet. I won’t until after we got to the bottom of this.
Whenever I felt fear rise up in my chest I pushed it back. The cops had a man on her door just as a precaution, which went a long way to making me feel better, but I don’t think for as long as we live, I’d ever be comfortable letting her out of my sight alone again.
I played in her hair that my mom had just brushed. Her own mother had left for a little bit because there was still Maggie to take care of, and my mother had promised her that she’d look after my girl while she was gone.
Everyone had come together, there wasn’t a second that went by that someone else wasn’t showing up to lend their support.
The parents of our friends came and went; even some of the kids who had been on the peripheral of our little group came by with flowers and balloons when word had spread that she was awake.
We were all excited to have her back, but everyone wanted their pound of flesh for what had been done to her.
The parents were rightfully pushing for answers because in their minds this could’ve been one of theirs that had been attacked.
The mayor had been called, as well as the police chief, but again the dads were dealing with that noise. I had no interest, because I knew down to my core that there wasn’t some madman loose in our midst.
This was the work of a lunatic no doubt about it, but not in the way they thought.
I looked down at my baby and choked back the rage. Her face was untouched, and looked sweet and at peace. Looking at her you’d be hard pressed to find anything wrong with her, and I think that scared me more than anything.
The doctors couldn’t find any reason for her being out of it this long. There was no brain damage and the cut to her head hadn’t been close to anything major.
Their diagnosis was that maybe it was her way of protecting herself from the ordeal, her way of hiding from it and not having to relive it.
I was willing to give her that, but not for much longer. I needed her here with me, laughing and mouthing off at me, making my life hell.
The worse thing of all was wondering what more I could’ve done to protect her. In some part of me I knew that it was ridiculous to blame myself, but that didn’t stop me from trying.
Nothing would ever convince me that I wasn’t partly to blame. Had Mandy done this because I’d threatened her?
I’d learned some things about that girl over the summer, things that I didn’t judge her for per se, but I didn’t want any part of her after that.
It wasn’t like I’d been in danger of spending the rest of my days with Mandy no matter what she thought.
Like I’d told her, she was just something to do while I was here. It’s what all teenagers do, unless like me, you’re lucky enough to find your one and only while you were still this young.
When the anonymous letter had come, I wasn’t sure at first that it wasn’t a hoax. It seemed so calculating, the things that she’d been accused of. Nothing at all like the girl I thought I knew.
There were things about her that I hadn’t liked, things she’d kept hidden until after we’d started
dating, but nothing as bad as this.
At first I was just going to ignore it, or try my best to. I never once thought of sharing what I’d learned with her though, which was a good thing.
Instead, I decided to watch for myself. I started to subconsciously distance myself from her even before I’d had the proof.
The letter just made me do something that I’d been avoiding until then. I’d known for a long time that she wasn’t right for me.
First of all my parents hated her. I know some people might brush that off, but for me that was huge.
Had I really been in love with her, I would’ve tried to win them around I’m sure, but I wasn’t that interested.
I even had a few rough moments when I thought I was being unfair to her, but then that letter fell into my hands and I was forced to make a move. One that was long overdue.
After I’d seen her in action with my own two eyes, it got me started wondering who else knew about her little games?
Obviously the letter writer did, and I had yet to learn who that person was, but who else?
I’d called things off right away after following her one night and seeing her wrapped around Carter Stern, Cassandra’s dad.
I knew the family well; her mother had been one of mom’s friends before some tragedy in the family had sent her into hiding. Well not exactly, but she hadn’t been around for a while.
I hadn’t been interested enough to do anything, people have affairs all the time it’s damn near a way of life in these parts, but maybe if I’d said or done something to bring her true nature out in the open back then, none of this would’ve happened.
That letter after all, was filled with more than just the affair between her and that one man but several.
And what else the writer had gone on to share had left me cold. To realize that I’d been that close to evil and hadn’t known it was sickening. The shit had left me shaken.
But then school started and I met this little firecracker. She made everyone else pale in comparison, made me wonder what the hell I’d even seen in anyone else before her. Now I have to wonder, did this happen to her because of the love I bore her?
I took her hand and willed her to wake up and look at me. “Baby, can you hear me? I want you to open your eyes now, you’re starting to worry everyone.” I kept my voice low and even although I really wanted to scream.
Nothing, not a twitch, not a flicker, it was as if she wasn’t even in there.
I rested my head back against the chair back and let my mind wander. If Mandy was involved, as I was sure that she was, then she obviously had help, but who?
I needed to make some calls to get the ball rolling to find some answers, but I wasn’t allowed to use my cellphone here, and I wasn’t about to leave her for a second.
It was good that I didn’t have to butt heads with her parents. After they’d been reassured by the doctors that she was okay, I’d pretty much taken over her room.
No one had said anything and it wouldn’t have mattered anyway because I wasn’t leaving.
I can’t imagine what it’s like to have a daughter that’s been hurt so severely, but I’m sure her dad understood how I felt.
He was in love with his woman after all, so he would know that it would be close to impossible for me to do anything other than what I’m doing. Sitting here with her, willing her to come back to me.
My next trick was getting her home with me when she left here, or finding a way into spending the night at her house. Either way it was going to be a while before I was comfortable having her out of my sight.
The others had gone off to school, and it was strange how life could go on around you when yours seemed to be at a standstill.
Although I didn’t share my suspicions, I got the feeling that most of our friends suspected something was off.
For one thing, how did Sian get from the bus to that alley? The attacker hadn’t walked onto that bus and taken her, somebody would’ve seen something for sure.
So how did whoever it was get her off that bus? She wouldn’t have gone to a stranger, and she wouldn’t have been with Mandy alone because she knew better.
The cops had nothing so far that was of any use, and I was fighting the urge to go get shit started on my own.
Jared at least knew to keep his eyes and ears open, and also, just in case this wasn’t a one off, to keep his eyes on the other girls.
Sitting forward, I clasped my hands under my chin and studied her face. I would like to say that I was finally able to relax, having her here alive if not altogether well, but I can’t. I’ll never be able to relax again, until everyone responsible has paid.
“Sian, come on babe, enough.” I got up from the chair when her face suddenly scrunched up at my demand.
Leaning over her I kissed her lips softly before whispering in her ear. “That’s it baby come back to me, I miss you.”
I kept whispering to her, touching her, trying in my own way to awaken her until I finally climbed onto the bed and held her.
Chapter 5
TAMMY
“Tam, what’re you doing here? We didn’t have a session this evening did we?” He looked confused as he opened the door for me to come in.
“No uh...” I knew I was going to flake out, I just knew it. I looked down at the floor in sudden embarrassment, but he turned my face back to his.
His finger under my chin was so touching, so intimate, that it almost had me blurting out my reason for being there.
“What is it hon, did something else happen?” He was pulling me into the house as he spoke. I looked around in a panic for his mom, who I had totally overlooked in my rushed plan.
We reached his room and I took a deep breath. If I was going to go through with this, then now was the time.
But first I had to fortify myself. I looked around his room stalling for time. He was like every typical teenage boy into sports.
The walls weren’t lined with posters, but instead there were trophies and awards, as well as a few plaques that on closer inspection were all anecdotes and old proverbs. I guess not so typical after all.
I hadn’t allowed myself to explore the couple times I’d been here before for fear of overstepping, but with the way things have been in the last few days, I was feeling a little braver.
Or maybe it was one of those awakening things, where something monumental happens that changes your whole perspective.
“Shane, when Sian was in the hospital it got me thinking.” I fumbled through the first words trying not to show my nervousness by rushing.
“We can be gone tomorrow without any warning.”
“Baby...” I love the way he said that, but I held up my hand to stop him nonetheless.
“No let me finish please. I want you to make love to me Shane.” It did come out in a rush after all, and I got my body in motion to take flight in case of his rejection.
“I know you don’t like me the way I...the way...” In the end I couldn’t say it. I couldn’t look at him now, and was wishing more than anything that the floor would open up and swallow me.
Thankfully, he didn’t leave me wondering too long as he reached his hand out for mine.
“Shh, come ‘ere, stop it. I’ve already told you I love you didn’t I.” That’s true, he had said those words to me, but that was when we got the news that Sian was going to be okay, while we were at the hospital surrounded by the others.
“I know, but I thought that was just a heat of the moment kind of thing, I wouldn’t hold you to it.” Could my voice sound anymore hopeful?
“Then you should. When a guy tells you he loves you, you say that shit back or at least give him a thank you, anything but throwing it back in his face and telling him he’s stupid for feeling the way he does.”
Now he was being playful and I thought my heart would bust in my chest it was beating so hard.
“But how do you expect me to believe that you like me when I’m... and you’re...”
“What, whe
n you’re what? Say it and I’ll smack your ass.” He picked me up like I weighed nothing and held me high against his chest so that I was looking down at his grinning face.
“Shane put me down before you put your back out.” I couldn’t help laughing because he was making me so happy in that moment that I never wanted it to end.
“Tammy, I don’t know where it is that you got the idea that you’re this grotesque beast that should be hidden away somewhere.
So what you’re not stick thin like the other ninety nine point nine percent of the females in this town. That’s a good fucking thing if you ask me.
It means that you stand out and aren’t just another one of the same fucking crowd.
If women want to know what men think, maybe they should ask men instead of listening to other females with an axe to grind.
All men don’t like skinny women baby; some of us actually like a little junk in our baby’s trunk.”
He squeezed my butt making me squeal with delight, before he lowered me and blew a raspberry into my soft tummy.
“Since you came here to violate my person let’s get to it.” He lowered me all the way until I was once again standing, and I got cold feet again.
Boy, this sure did sound good in theory. But now, standing here in front of him, I couldn’t bring myself to remove my clothes.
Suddenly I remembered every fold in my tummy, the stretch marks on my thighs from the constant yo-yoing diets over the years.
It’s funny, but when I’m around him, I don’t think about food, I mean I eat, but I don’t stress over what I’m eating.
I think I’ve eaten more balanced meals since he and the guys started getting our trays, than I have in the last three years or so.
I don’t remember the last time I’d had a cookie, until he’d brought me an oatmeal raisin last week and acted like it was quite alright to be feeding the fat girl sweets.
He didn’t look at everything I put into my mouth, or comment on what I was eating, or shouldn’t be eating more’s to the point.
Eden High Series One: The Eden High Series Boxed Set, Books 1-6 Page 27
