by Mia Zachary
“Okay, keep in mind that the public has an incredibly short attention span, and by tomorrow, this will fade from the media and some other story will have taken its place.”
“Here’s hoping.” She raised her glass and took a sip. “So tell me about your day.”
Chris helped himself to more of the shrimp. “Well, I might be getting a little ahead of myself, but I went looking at some commercial properties today. I think I found a place in Oakland that would be a great location.”
“Oh, did you get the venture capital approved already?”
He shook his head. “Not yet, but it’s only a matter of time, don’t you think?”
Rei gave him an odd look and set her plate aside. “Why ask me? I have no influence over your funding.”
“Why not you? You’ve seen firsthand how well Lunch Meetings is doing.” Chris put his plate on top of hers and moved them both off the blanket. “In fact, I’d say you’ve gotten the best service I have to offer.”
“Yes, I have, haven’t I?”
“Are you doubting me?” There was a hint of reservation in her voice, so he leaned over to kiss her, nibbling her lips until they parted for him. “If you’re unsatisfied, ma’am, I’d be happy to give you some extra special attention to make up for it.”
She kissed him back and he felt her relax against him. “I’m definitely not satisfied. What are you going to do about it?”
Chris scooped his hand under her sweet little bottom and lifted her onto his lap. “There’s only one thing to do in a situation like this…make love to you until you’re persuaded of how good I am.”
Her hands settled on his shoulders, then wrapped behind his neck. The heat of her skin burned through the thin material of his shirt. He stiffened when he felt the hot slide of her tongue along his earlobe. “Convince me.”
Chris reached up to take off the barrette she wore and release the thick fall of her hair. As it tumbled down her back, he cupped the nape of her neck and sought her mouth again. With the tips of his tongue, he traced the contours of her lips and then coaxed them open. He kissed her more slowly, more tenderly, but with no less passion.
He slid his tongue along hers, tasting and savoring the sweetness of her, while his hands moved to undo the buttons of her blouse. He skimmed his hands up her smooth belly to cup her lace-covered breasts. Then he unhooked the front of the garment and pushed it off her shoulders along with her blouse.
Meanwhile, she had slipped her hands between them to unbutton his shirt. Now they stood together, bare torsos touching, hands caressing increasingly hot skin. The peaks of her nipples rubbed against his ribs as he tugged open the hook at the back of her skirt.
She cupped his erection through his clothes, drawing her thumb along his length before moving to unzip his trousers. They parted only long enough to remove the last of their clothing then together sank to the floor. Rei wrapped her arms about his neck and pulled him close for another kiss. He eased her back onto the smooth linen tablecloth before covering her body with his own.
Her naked breasts and all her smooth bare skin seared him, wreaking havoc with his senses. Chris indulged himself in the pleasure of touching her. His hands skimmed over her flawless skin, caressing the toned and sleek muscle, rediscovering the places that were susceptible to certain kinds of fondling. His mouth followed the path his hands had set and she quivered in response to his attentions.
Rei didn’t utter a word as she stirred restlessly beneath him, rocking her hips in subtle encouragement. Her body told him in the language as old as time how much she wanted him. Heat, slow and molten, spread through him as he breathed in the scent of her desire.
Chris trailed a line of kisses along her throat and over her chest. He slid lower until her full breasts were accessible for his pleasure. Her hands sought his back, caressing his skin and massaging the muscle below the surface, as he rained kisses onto the velvet-soft orbs.
Taking one hard, straining nipple into his mouth, he suckled it to a sensitive peak. His tongue drew lazy swirls around the crest before turning his head to give its mate the same consideration. When his teeth gently scraped her ultraresponsive flesh, she squealed in unabashed ecstasy.
Then he shifted his weight to free his right arm. Chris reached among the silken curls between her thighs to find her soft feminine folds. Rei moaned softly and clutched at his shoulder while he rubbed her swollen clitoris in languid circles. She arched her hips against his hand as he slid his fingers in and out of her damp passage.
After reaching into his pants pocket, he made sure they were protected. Then he moved back over her, his body humming with need as he claimed her mouth. She nibbled his bottom lip before thrusting her tongue inside to taste and tease and tantalize. Rei spread her thighs, urging him to claim her completely.
She pressed her mouth to his throat, her hands gripping the hard muscles of his back, while he pushed into her wet passage, inch by inch, drawing out the moment of joining. Incredible emotion and fierce desire combined to intensify the sensation, but he struggled for control.
Her liquid heat enveloped the full length of him before he drew back a little at a time. He built the tension and anticipation, heightening the pleasure while prolonging the climax. Rei wiggled and strained beneath him, urging him on.
He slipped his palms under her hips, pulling her closer still. The need to be part of her drove him deeper, rocking him to the core. Unable to hold back any longer, he began thrusting heavily and she lifted her body to meet him. He felt the change inside her, felt her tighten around him. He cried out his release as she moaned his name.
Rei’s breath fanned his neck as they held each other. Waiting for his pulse rate to slow, her body still joined with his, Chris felt a sense of belonging, of union. After a moment, he shifted his weight and they lay together, as close as possible without becoming one. It felt wonderful. It felt right.
He closed his eyes, feeling relaxed and yet tense at the same time. He stroked his fingers along the damp tendrils sticking to her temple and took a deep breath. There were things he wanted to say. But before he could, there were things he needed to hear, and so the words wouldn’t come…And then the opportunity was lost when Rei turned her head to kiss his shoulder and sat up, rubbing her arms.
“It’s chilly in here.” She gathered her work clothes into a bundle. “I’ll set the thermostat higher on my way to the ensuite.”
“Sure. I’ll clean up in here.”
Chris washed in the downstairs powder room and got dressed. Then he went back into the living room to see to the picnic. Rei joined him in the kitchen a few moments later, now wearing a turtleneck and jeans.
As she passed by the phone, she stopped to press a button on the answering machine. “Five messages. I hope they’re not from reporters.”
“You don’t have to respond if they are. That’s what the delete button is for.”
“Too bad you can’t delete them in real life.”
The first two calls were from telemarketers. He ignored them while Rei repackaged the leftover food and he put the plates into the dishwasher. When she bent over to get a storage container from one of the cabinet drawers, he ogled the snug fit of her jeans. He was surprised that his body responded so soon after they’d made love.
She straightened up, caught his admiring glance and grinned. “Don’t you ever think about anything other than sex?”
“No, not when you’re around.” He rinsed out the sink and ran the disposal.
Rei, it’s Dr. Solís. I’ve been trying to reach you all day. Please call me. You have got to reschedule those blood tests as soon as possible. I understand what you’re afraid of, but you’ve put this off long enough. I hope to hear from you soon.
There was no mistaking the urgency he heard in the doctor’s voice. Chris frowned and crossed the kitchen to Rei’s side, reaching for her hand. Blood tests? His first thought was to wonder if she might be pregnant.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” he asked.
Chris squeezed her icy fingers, not understanding, or rather, not wanting to. Slivers of fear crept through his veins. His body recognized what his mind refused to. “Rei?”
Finally she looked up at him. Her dark eyes had the glassy sheen of tears. When she spoke, her soft voice was breathy and strained. “You’ve never asked about my scar.”
He shrugged, barely keeping his voice steady with a calm he didn’t feel. “I have scars you never asked about, too.”
“Mine is from surgery, a lumpectomy I had last year. I had breast cancer and—” Her voice broke. “It looks like it might be back.”
No. Shock froze his next heartbeat. No…
Chris’s numb fingers dropped her hand and he shook his head, refusing to believe what he’d heard. This couldn’t be happening. He stepped back, his eyes racing over her body, looking for he had no idea what. It couldn’t be true. She looked fine.
She had to be fine.
“I…I don’t know. What can I say?” He continued to stare at her in some crazy attempt to convince himself it wasn’t true.
“There’s nothing else you need to say.”
Her voice sounded oddly harsh. His gaze returned to her face and he saw the anguish, the utter bewilderment and anger, and knew it was true. Rei had cancer.
Pain stabbed into the hollow void in his chest that he’d thought might finally be filled. They had only just found each other. He’d only just acknowledged how much he cared for her. He hadn’t even told her yet. And now…Chris released the breath he was holding.
“You’ll be fine,” he whispered, and fought to control his panic. He had to be strong. But icy fear was twisting around his heart. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave. And yet he should have known. Didn’t everyone he cared about abandon him eventually? “You’re going to be fine, Rei. You’ll be just fine.”
Don’t think about it. Don’t let it hurt….
REI FELT HER heart twist and bleed inside her chest. If Chris told her she’d be fine in that patronizing voice one more time, she’d hit him.
She stared at the expression of revulsion and rejection on his face, and let anger flare to the surface. She’d opened herself up, allowed herself to trust him. Now when she needed comfort and support, he backed away from her like she’d grown a second head.
“I’d like you to go now, Chris.”
“You shouldn’t be by yourself right now.”
Like being with him while her heart shattered into a thousand pieces was better? Her misery was like a physical pain, so she once again tapped into her anger. He’d advised her not to paint every man with the same brush, then showed his true colors to be just like her ex-boyfriend Jake’s, just like her father’s.
She could handle being discarded. She’d done it before. “You don’t have to stay. I’ll be fine. In fact, I don’t need you, Chris. I don’t want you.”
He looked lost for words but she ignored his false concern and swept past him. He reached for her, but she yanked her arm away. In the foyer, she felt bitter anguish rising in her chest, choking her, and she fought against the tears. Not now. Not in front of him. She ran up the stairs, locking herself in the bedroom.
“Rei?”
He’d followed her, knocking softly on the door while she threw herself onto the bed. She turned her head so the pillows muffled her sobs.
“Rei? Will you let me in?”
Her answer was silence. She’d already done that and look what had happened. Wrapping the down comforter more securely around her shoulders, she curled deeper into the sheets. She’d turned up the thermostat but couldn’t get warm. The cold was too deep inside of her.
11
Tuesday, April 22nd
Accomplishments: Face something you fear
“THANKS FOR COMING with me, P.J.”
“You’re only thanking me because you know I’m furious with you.” She slouched down in the waiting room chair and crossed her arms. “I would have come with you sooner if you’d bothered to tell me. That’s what best friend means, honey. I’m going to kick your butt as soon as the doctor tells us you’re fine.”
There was that word again.
Rei nodded at the linoleum floor tiles of the diagnostic imaging waiting room, using her left hand to hold a gauze pad against her other elbow. She hated having blood drawn at the best of times. There was the awful prick of metal through skin and the creepy feeling of the needle inside her vein and, worst of all, at her age there was no lollipop for being a good girl.
She lifted the gauze to see if the puncture was healing yet, then pressed it back down. Another minute. She did have another minute, right? Oh brother, she hoped so. She’d taken off her watch last night, or was it early this morning, because she didn’t want to see the time ticking away from her.
“I’m scared, Peej.”
“I’m not.” She spoke with a bright confidence that belied the dark shadows under her eyes. “There’s absolutely nothing to worry about.”
Rei lifted the corner of her mouth but failed to smile. Chris had said the same thing, but his closed expression had been the polar opposite of her best friend’s bravado. “Why? Because you said so?”
“That’s right.” P.J. leaned over and took her hand. “I’m the Queen of the World. And as Ruler of the Planet, I’m not about to let you have cancer again. There’s no way you’re going to be anything but healthy. No way.”
The tears Rei had been trying to control slipped over her lashes and down her cheeks as P.J. pressed a kiss to her forehead and sniffled. Pressure was building inside of her, and she just wanted to scream and scream. Instead she swallowed hard against the lump in her throat, wiped peach lipstick off her temple and took a deep breath.
“What you are, Phoebe Jayne, is a lunatic. I’m already Supreme Overlord of the Universe, so the planet falls under my jurisdiction.”
“No way! If you were Supreme Overlord, chocolate would have zero fat content and the 49ers would have won a Super Bowl by now.” P.J. gave a muffled laugh.
A tiny bubble of amusement formed in her chest, pushing a little of her fear aside. Rei wiped her eyes and grinned. “Yeah, we’d be trim but never have to exercise, and it would be impossible to have wrinkles and zits at the same time.”
“Rei Davis?” A nurse stood in the doorway, smiling vaguely and holding a sheaf of papers. “We’re ready for you.”
After squeezing P.J.’s hand, she followed the nurse into the dressing area. She stripped off everything from the waist up then slipped a thin paper gown over the goosebumps forming on her arms. With a sense of inevitability, she walked into the imaging room feeling chilled from more than the arctic temperature that protected the machines.
Her heart thundered in her chest. Rei took a deep breath and lifted her arm behind her head. The technician flattened her breast onto the X-ray machine and lowered the top plate.
Please, God. Please…
TWENTY MINUTES after the test, Rei was back in the waiting area. Waiting.
She felt nauseated but hadn’t been able to eat so much as a piece of dry toast this morning. Acid churned in her stomach while she tried to prepare herself for whatever the X-ray films might show. Apprehension shot through her like bolts of lightning, striking her temples, neck and lower back.
She’d been so lucky last year. What were the chances that her luck would hold?
“Ms. Davis?”
The nurse stood before her and it took all Rei’s willpower to look up from the woman’s white sneakered feet to see her face. Her smiling face.
“Ms. Davis, the films came back clear. We’ll send the results to Dr. Solís, but everything looks good. You’re free to go home anytime.”
P.J. wrapped her in a huge hug and squealed. “Oh, I’m so relieved!”
Everything looked good. Rei closed her eyes and sagged against P.J.’s shoulder. Now that some of the weight was lifted, core-deep weariness
set in. She had part of the answer she longed to hear. Everything looked good.
“I didn’t want you to know how worried I was, but I was.” P.J. squeezed her harder, then rubbed a hand over her back. “But now you’re okay for sure!”
Rei gently extricated herself from the embrace and shook her head. “The mammogram is negative. That means there’s no evidence the cancer has recurred in either of my breasts.”
“I know! This is great—”
“But I still have to wait for the blood test results.” She spoke quietly from relief, fatigue and continued concern.
P.J. cocked her head and frowned. “I don’t understand. You don’t have breast cancer anymore. Do you?”
Rei sighed and gave an uncertain shrug. “If the CA 27.29 antigen shows up again, it would mean the cancer came back somewhere else.”
PLEASE CALL ME
Sender has requested a read confirmation. Send confirmation of receipt? Yes No I have no idea what you’re going through, Rei, but you don’t have to go through it by yourself. I left you alone last night like you asked. But today I want to hear your voice and hold you in my arms and find out what your doctor said.
The other e-mails I sent didn’t seem to go through. Neither did my voice mails. Please call me when you get this message.
Chris
HE CLICKED the “send” button and minimized his e-mail program with an odd sense of finality.
He hadn’t heard from Rei at all, not even an electronic receipt that the e-mail had been opened. He wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt that she’d been too upset to get on her computer last night. But, as much as he worried about her, he couldn’t deny his resentment at being shut out. Again.
As her friend, he prayed that she was going to be all right. But, as her lover, they were finished. For each step he tried to take forward, she backpedaled three. He could still hear the message behind her last words to him. I don’t want you. I don’t need you.
Well, he didn’t need the emotional confusion. Not on top of the anger and betrayal he was dealing with this morning.
