by Mia Zachary
Rei smothered a hint of frustration. She knew he was upset, but still, this was not going as she’d hoped. She wasn’t used to reaching out, and Chris wasn’t making it any easier. Maybe it might be better to try to make amends in person.
“Are you doing anything this evening? We could meet somewhere for drinks.”
He hesitated and she felt the silence grow into a barrier. When he finally spoke, his voice was colored with regret and sadness and resolve. “I don’t think so. I don’t have much of an appetite right now.”
Rei closed her eyes, dropping her chin to her chest. Her heart constricted in denial even as her mind recognized the truth. His reference to the craving they’d felt from the beginning couldn’t have been clearer. He wasn’t hungry anymore. Not for her. Not for a woman who’d never given herself fully so that she wouldn’t lose everything when it all went wrong.
Well, it had gone wrong anyway and she had only herself to blame. But she wasn’t going to allow old hurt to keep getting in the way of new love. Take a risk.
“I—I miss you, Chris.”
“I miss you, too. But I’ve gotten used to it.” He sighed, a soft exhalation against the phone that said more than she wanted to hear. “You’ve been leaving me ever since we met and I’m not going to keep beging you to stay. I’m glad to know you’re okay. I hope someday you’ll be happy. Take care, Rei.”
There was a click and then the buzz of the dial tone filled her ear. A lesser woman might have seen that as an ending. However, Rei wasn’t about to give up on the best thing that had ever happened to her. Obviously it wasn’t enough to say she was sorry, she knew that. So she’d have to find a way show him.
In her job, she gave people second chances all the time. Now she needed to give herself one and ask Chris to do the same.
“WE’LL BE BACK with The Bayside Morning Show after these messages.”
Friday morning, Rei opened the doors to her closet while a commercial touted “quicker, thicker” paper towels. She rummaged through her clothes, agonizing over what to wear. She wasn’t in the mood for her usual black, white or gray. It was a new day and she had a newfound determination to make it the best it could be.
“Welcome back to Bayside. I’m Autumn Matthews. Our guests this morning are Eric Antoine, Michelle Johnson, Tina Farrell and Marvin Carrington.”
Why had she bought that yellow dress? She looked awful in yellow. It was supposed to be decent weather today, so maybe she could wear the lightweight mint-green sweater….
“As you probably know, San Francisco’s hottest dating service has recently come under fire for some questionable practices.” Rei whipped her head around to stare at the television screen. “These four Lunch Meetings clients are here to try to set the record straight.”
She sank down on the edge of the bed to watch the interview. The show’s host seemed to focus on the earnest-looking man immediately to her right. Eric Antoine turned out to be one of the station’s producers and Michelle Johnson was a news copy editor.
Eric explained that he’d been interested in Michelle for months, but had been too unsure of himself to approach her. He claimed that everything changed when he signed up for Lunch Meetings.
“I give full credit to Chris London for getting Michelle and I together. His courtship counseling forced me to take a deeper look at my life and the kind of woman I wanted to share it with.”
“But, Eric,” the host contended, “the Inquirer article implied that the profile results were being manipulated. Don’t you wonder how you and Michelle were paired up?”
Michelle shook her head and smiled. “Not at all. I never signed up for the service. So there’s no way Chris could have messed around with our compatibility results.”
Rei felt her face heat in shame. She’d believed the worst about Chris without ever giving him the benefit of the doubt. Her attitude had been small-minded and callous and unforgiving—everything she hated about her father.
On the show, Autumn cocked her head to one side. “But he did offer you two, as well as other male clients, special additional services, right? And how much more did he charge for these clothes shopping trips and etiquette lessons?”
“No more than I would have paid an image con sultant, Autumn. I wasn’t charged any outrageous fees, but frankly,” Eric turned to look at Michelle and the affection is his gaze was obvious, “the help Chris gave me was worth any price.”
The round-faced man next to Eric spoke up hesitantly. “I know this is going to sound trite, but I think Chris does this out of the goodness of his heart.”
“Oh, come on, Marvin, you can’t be serious?” asked Autumn.
When Tina leaned over to take his hand, he sat up a little straighter and looked the interviewer in the eye. “If you read the Lunch Meetings literature carefully, there are no express guarantees that any client will end up in a relationship. The brochure only promises to in troduce you to people who seem to be compatible.”
“Chris didn’t have to coach the guys,” Tina insisted. “I think he saw their sincerity and loneliness and, if not for his advice, they wouldn’t have had the confidence to enter a relationship.”
Michelle nodded. “I have to admit, I wouldn’t have given Eric a second chance except that I noticed the results of Chris’s suggestions.”
Autumn turned to the other couple. “Now, I understand you two just got engaged?”
Tina beamed happily. “Yes, we did. We’re planning a winter wedding, and Chris’s is the first name on our guest list. I’ve never been happier or more in love.”
Marvin blushed and cleared his throat. “Let’s face it, I’m not the best looking guy and I’ve always been shy. Chris identified and helped bring out my positive qualities, as well as coaching me on how to act more confidently. Thanks to the Lunch Meetings service, I’ve found the perfect woman. Tina loves me unconditionally for exactly who I am.”
Rei didn’t hear the rest of the interview. She didn’t need to. Unconditional love was the one thing she’d desperately wanted for the past twenty-five years. She closed her eyes as the image of her mother filled her mind and the memory of Keiko’s love pervaded her heart.
Then another face appeared, the face of the man who’d offered wholehearted friendship and uninhibited passion. She was still hurt over his reaction to her cancer scare, but she knew from other women in her support group that friends and family, especially males, often responded negatively to hide their fear.
That was another example of her believing the worst of Chris without asking him to explain. Her ethics had been called into question twice recently. However, the Bayside interview had just reminded her of something very important. Ethics was as much about doing the right thing as about upholding the law.
Rei stood up and went back to the closet. She had to get dressed and get to the courthouse. She had a lot to do today.
13
Friday, April 25th
Accomplishments: Perform an anonymous good deed; Ask for forgiveness; Tell someone you love them
“COMMISSIONER DAVIS, you’re in early this morning. And you’re…Pink.”
Rei smiled at Mary Alice and twirled to show off her coral and white floral blouse and dark peony skirt. “I’m making a few changes.”
Mary Alice nodded. “Change can be good. It keeps life interesting.”
“What’s on the docket for today?”
Her court services clerk thumbed through the files in her arm as she rattled off the morning’s cases. “We’ve got a couple of divorces, an abuse case and several custody disputes.”
“Another fun-filled day, huh?” She shoved her purse into one of the desk drawers. “Before we get started, I need to take care of a couple of things.”
Mary Alice shifted the files again. “Sure, Commissioner. You’ve got about a half hour before I call the first case.”
“Perfect.” Rei picked up the phone and dialed P.J.’s number. She spun her desk chair toward the window, once again making a mental note to t
ry the opera sometime soon. Her friend answered on the third ring.
“Hi, Peej. It’s me. How’s the Queen of the World today?”
“Hm, sounds like you’re buttering me up for something. What’s going on?”
“I need to talk to you about taking a risk.”
Ten minutes later, she hung up the phone excited. P.J. had a good head for business and bottom lines, but she was also a romantic at heart. Rei knew she could be counted on to come through with this favor. She bounced out of her chair and prepared to ask for another one.
As she walked along the hallway, she came across the supervising judge, going the other way. “’Morning, Judge Orr.”
His bushy white brows shot up in response to her outfit, but he nodded a greeting as he passed. “Commissioner.”
Rei smiled to herself. Little did Judge Orr know that she was about to shoot his “zero-tolerance policy” straight to hell. She remembered how it was to be an emotionally neglected child, to feel unwanted and ignored. She knocked on the door to her friend Commissioner Whitney’s chambers and stuck her head inside.
“Hi, Sarah. Have you got a moment? I’d like to discuss the Russo case.”
THE AFTERNOON HAD dragged on endlessly, until finally Chris had made the decision to send Lara home early. The dining room had served fewer than a dozen people all day and it closed at three anyway. There hadn’t been any potential new clients to meet, and he didn’t have any private consultations tonight.
It was a situation that he might have to get used to unfortunately.
By four-thirty, Chris was pretty much alone. There were two people in the computer café, checking and sending e-mails, so he’d left the entrance doors unlocked. He sat in his office looking through his files, making a stack of the clients who had demanded either refunds or compensation so he could go over them with his accountant.
The short-term losses were going to seriously cut into his cash reserves. Long term? He had no idea what effect Grant Bronson’s article would have. He’d truly appreciated Eric and Marvin’s kind words on TV this morning, but he wasn’t sure their endorsements would be enough.
Chris had to face the fact that he wasn’t going to be able to expand Lunch Meetings anytime soon. He hadn’t lost as many clients as he’d feared he might, nor had new applications fallen off significantly. But he’d have to wait out the negative publicity before he could start the venture capital process over again with another firm.
Although his parents had generously offered to put together some kind of loan and he’d been touched by the gesture, he was unwilling to let them take the risk. They had their own future to save for.
He’d thought, now that the dream of having his parents reunite had come true, the empty feeling in his chest would have gone away. Instead it felt as if it had grown. His mother had once cautioned him not to confuse success with fulfillment. Now that Rei was gone and the business was failing, what did he have? Nothing that mattered.
The e-mail program on his computer beeped, indicating he had a new message. His heart skipped a single beat when he saw who it was from.
TO: DCL3
FROM: [email protected]
SOMEONE LISTENED
Yesterday you said you wanted for someone to offer Gabriel a second chance. He’s going to get one.
I spoke with the commissioner who’ll be hearing Gabe’s case. She will, of course, have to read the file and hear testimony from both sides. But she said she’d consider my suggestion of psychotherapy as well as family counseling. I don’t know whether she’ll be able to dismiss the charges, but at least Gabriel won’t be facing incarceration.
Rei
As Chris read the last sentence a second time, his mouth curved into a smile. His sense of relief was indescribable. So his was surprise. After the way she’d spoken to him at the courthouse, he couldn’t believe what she’d done and told her so.
RE: ACTING AS WELL AS LISTENING
I don’t know what to say, Rei. I’m stunned and incredibly grateful. Thank you very much. Thank you on behalf of my family as well.
I hope your intervention won’t cause you trouble at work.
Chris
RE: TROUBLE
I can trust Commissioner Whitney’s discretion, though she was as surprised by my request as you are. Some people are worth the trouble, though, as you showed me yesterday. You stood up for your belief in Gabriel. I couldn’t do any less.
Rei
RE: SECOND CHANCES
This means so much, Rei, but you know that. Thank you again.
Chris
RE: A FRIEND IN NEED
I’m not the kind of person who asks for what she needs. But that doesn’t mean I don’t need anything. You once told me that the deep questions are the hardest to ask, but they’re important. So I’m asking, will you give me another chance?
Rei
RE: DEEP QUESTIONS
We can talk about it, sure. Where are you now?
Chris
The security system magnet above the entrance buzzed. Chris turned to look through the two-way mirror to see who was coming in. As Rei walked through the door, she held up her text pager. She’d been just outside the whole time. He got up from his desk and went to meet her.
Late afternoon sunlight sparkled on her dark hair as she stood waiting for him. The pastel colors of her outfit added a soft femininity to her exotic looks, emphasizing her intelligent eyes and sensual mouth. He’d forgotten how beautiful she was, but not how much he loved her.
A sense of déjà vu hit him in the gut. The day she’d walked into Lunch Meetings, he’d claimed her as his own, just like he had on the dance floor at Divas. But, as she’d proven the last two times they’d seen each other, he had no more of her heart now than on that first day.
Rei offered him a tentative smile, obviously unsure of her welcome. “It’s, uh, not very busy in here.”
Chris’s laugh was devoid of any humor. “It was plenty busy on Monday when people started demanding their money back.”
“I think it will be okay. Like you told me after the Grayson case, the media has a short attention span. Things will be back to normal soon.”
“I hope you’re right.”
They looked at each other in awkward silence. Chris stuffed his hands into his pants pockets while Rei twisted the strap of her purse. He hated this. He wanted everything back to normal. No, that wasn’t true. He wanted it to be better than before.
Her lips parted but it was another second before the words came. “I have a problem, Chris, and I’m hoping you can help me.”
“I’ll do my best.”
“You always do, don’t you?” She gave him a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “The problem is that Lunch Meetings matched me with the perfect guy. He’s smart and sexy, passionate and caring. However the relationship has hit a barrier and I don’t know what to do.”
In Rei’s chocolate brown eyes he saw his own insecurity reflected as well as a flash of longing. But he saw something else in her face, a kind of determined hope. He wanted to take her in his arms and hold her tight as his protective instincts kicked in at the sight of her vulnerability.
“I guess I wasn’t really ready to find the love of my life.” She took a step toward him and touched the back of his hand. “But I am now. We’ve shared things about our lives, but haven’t had a lot of the open communication discussed in the Lunch Meetings brochure. So I’ve come to ask you for some courtship counseling.”
REI WANTED to work things out.
Chris instinctively turned his hand to grasp her fingers. The tiniest flame of hope began to melt the layer of ice that he’d wrapped around his heart when he’d thought they were through. “Why don’t you go wait in my office while I show these clients out? I’ll be right there.”
He was as diplomatic as possible, but he still emptied the computer café in under a minute. The instant the front door closed behind his clients, he locked it and went to Rei. He walked into his office to find h
er standing nervously in the middle of the room. “Would you like to sit down?”
Rei shook her head and began to pace the floor, her footsteps muffled by the thick carpet. She’d taken off her coat and since she’d set her purse down, she was twisting her interlaced fingers instead. He didn’t think he’d seen her so unsure of herself before.
“So, you’d like professional advice. I usually don’t offer counseling unless I’m certain the client is genuinely interested in a lasting relationship….”
“You’ve given up on me.” Rei’s voice was no more than a grief-stricken whisper. She wrapped her arms about her waist, hanging her head.
Chris raked a hand through his hair. “I didn’t give up, Rei. I let go. It was crystal clear that, despite your agreeing to be more than lovers and becoming friends, you didn’t want to risk letting me be a real part of your life.”
She stopped before him and reached out to touch his arm. “That day Dr. Solís called—”
“Was one of the worst days of my life.”
“I’m sorry. I looked at your face and immediately thought I saw rejection, so I rebuffed you first.”
“How could you think I would turn away at a time like that? I wanted to be with you, to comfort and hold you…but you wouldn’t let me near you.” His voice broke and he looked away. “I thought, if you’d shut me out at a time like that, there’s no hope of a future with you.”
“I’m sorry, Chris, I really am. I’ve been so afraid to be vulnerable, to reach out only to have my hand slapped away, to trust anyone too far inside where they could hurt me.”
He smiled sadly. “If you’re looking for absolute assurances that you won’t be hurt, you’re looking in vain.”
“I know that in my head, but in my heart…I’ve always assumed that because my father rejected me, because he’s never been there for me, no one else would be either. So when I found the perfect guy, I blew it by being scared. I pushed you away because by caring, you’d have the power to hurt me the most.”
