Regina placed a linen towel over the open jar of beets. “We will ring the dinner bell in a few minutes.” She glanced across the barn lot to the spot where the skeleton of the new building was beginning to take shape. The blackened earth around the site served as a reminder of why a large part of Dudleytown as well as Sauers was gathered here.
Unbidden, her gaze sought out Diedrich. Though standing with his back to her and amid at least a dozen other men, Regina had no trouble finding him. His broad back and exceptionally tall figure made him easy to recognize. Even from this distance, she could see the muscles across his back and shoulders move beneath his white cotton shirt as he worked with the other men to stand up a section of wall. Her heart sped to a gallop. Since her return from Salem, she had tried to take Elsie’s advice and shut Diedrich out of her mind and heart, but he kept nudging his way back in. She had prayed that at her first sight of Eli this morning, her heart would jump like it had when he entered William and Elsie’s store. But it hadn’t. In fact, compared to Diedrich, Eli appeared juvenile and almost silly. And for the past several minutes, all she’d wanted to do was find an excuse to get away from Eli. She was about to tell him she needed to go help her mother with something when Mama appeared at her elbow.
“Eli is your name, is it not?” At his nod, Mama maneuvered between him and Regina to set a towel-swathed pan of corn bread on the table. “Your Onkel will have a fine new barn soon, ja?”
“Yeah.” He chuckled. “It will almost be worth havin’ the old one burn down.”
Mama frowned, and Regina had to suppress a giggle. If Eli wanted to make a good impression on her mother, he was doing a very poor job of it. Mama glanced toward the construction site, and her frown deepened. “My Ernst tells me there was almost an accident with Diedrich Rothhaus earlier. That he was nearly hit by a beam.”
Regina gasped, her throat tightening. The same flash of fear she had felt when she thought the lean-to had fallen on Diedrich sparked in her chest. “Was he hurt?” Breathless, she glanced across the barn lot at Diedrich in search of any sign of injury.
Eli gave an unconcerned chuckle, and anger flared in Regina’s chest. “Nah.” He negligently reached over, broke off a piece of Stollen, and began nibbling on it. “His pa pushed him out of the way.” He shrugged. “Uncle Walt hollered for him to move, but I reckon he didn’t get it through his thick skull.” He snorted, and Regina wondered why she had ever thought him handsome. “I doubt he would have even felt it if it had hit him.”
Mama’s look of disapproval mirrored the disgust rising in Regina. She understood that Eli viewed Diedrich as a rival for her affection. If only that were so . But it did not excuse his callous attitude, and Regina had no interest in making excuses for him to Mama.
Mama opened her mouth as if about to say something, but another woman pulled her away with a question about the food.
When Mama left, Eli grasped Regina’s hand. “After the dinner break, come to the west side of the barn. I have somethin’ I want to show you.”
Regina yanked her hand from his. She wanted to tell him she had no interest in anything he had to show her. Instead, she bit her bottom lip and groped for a more diplomatic excuse to decline his invitation. The dinner bell began to ring. She cocked her head to the right where she expected the serving line to form. “You’d better get in line.” She would make no promises. And after dinner, there would be enough work with the cleanup to provide ample excuse for her to avoid Eli.
“The west side of the barn,” Eli reiterated. Then with a parting wink and grin, he trotted off to join the crowd of men advancing toward the food tables.
Regina’s gaze scoured the group in search of Diedrich, but she didn’t see him.
When all had assembled, Pastor Sauer’s booming voice bade everyone pause and give thanks for the repast set before them. After the prayer was finished and the last amen faded away, Regina moved to a spot behind the serving table. The men, who had worked hard all morning constructing the barn, would eat first.
While serving the dishes before her, Regina occasionally glanced down the line of male faces, looking for Diedrich. She scarcely noticed when Eli passed in front of her, absently plopping chicken and noodles on his plate and ignoring his reminder to join him later. At last, her gaze lit on Diedrich’s face, and her heart danced. Sadly, she realized Elsie’s advice would do her no good. It was useless to continue trying to veer her heart away from Diedrich. It belonged to him now, and she could not call it back. And unless she could change his mind about going to California, her heart was destined to be broken.
As Diedrich neared, her pulse quickened. She caught his eye, and they exchanged a smile. For an instant, she got the fleeting impression he was seeking her out as well. But even if he was, she was sure it was only because of the friendship they had built over the past month. A friendship built on the understanding that we will not marry .
“Hey, gal, I’d like some of them chicken and dumplin’s, if ya don’t mind.” The gruff voice pulled Regina’s attention from Diedrich to the burly man in front of her. Her cheeks burning, she mumbled her apologies and dipped a generous portion of the food onto the man’s plate. Did Diedrich notice her blush, and if so, did he guess her preoccupation with him had caused her discomposure? She prayed not. Somehow she must learn to control her responses to his smiles—his nearness. Until such a time as she won his heart, she must hide her feelings from him at all cost. If he ever did choose her over his dream of California gold, she needed to know he did it with a free and willing heart—not out of some dogged sense of duty.
Reclaiming a tight rein on her composure, she forced her attention back to serving food to the workmen filing along the opposite side of the table. So when she looked up to find Diedrich standing before her, her heart did a somersault. Flustered, she blurted, “I heard about the accident with the beam. I am glad you were not hurt.” His face reddened, and she groaned inwardly. Clamping her mouth shut, she dipped him some of the chicken and dumplings. Embarrassing him was not a good strategy for winning his heart.
He grinned. “I was hoping you did not see that. It is clear, I think, that I need more of your English lessons.” His grin disappeared, and his gray eyes searched hers. His Adam’s apple moved with his swallow. “Regina, I need to speak with you privately. Perhaps when you get your food, we can sit together and talk?”
“Come on, man. The rest of us want to finish gettin’ our vittles, too.” A bearded man behind Diedrich shifted impatiently. Though Regina doubted Diedrich understood all of the man’s words, his embarrassed expression clearly showed he comprehended the fellow’s meaning.
“Ja,” she managed to murmur before Diedrich moved on. Had Diedrich read the longing in her face and wanted to remind her of their bargain?
At the thought, her stomach knotted. The moment the last man was served, she abandoned the food table. She couldn’t even think of eating until she found Diedrich and learned what was on his mind.
Making her way through the milling and shifting crowd, she glanced about. Diedrich hadn’t mentioned where she should look for him. Suddenly, someone grabbed her hand. Looking up, she met Eli’s eager expression with one of dismay. Impatience and aggravation twined in her chest. She tried to pull her hand free, but he held tight. “Let go of me, Eli! I’m looking for someone.”
His forehead furrowed angrily. “You’re supposed to be looking for me . You promised me you would spend some time with me, remember?”
She groaned. She had promised him. At the very least, she had allowed him to believe she would spend time with him. And if what he told her in the store was true, he had gone to some trouble to concoct a surprise for her. Mustering patience, she heaved a sigh. “All right. Show me your surprise.” The sooner she humored him, the sooner she could search for Diedrich.
Gripping her hand so hard it hurt, Eli towed her toward a thicket that edged the woods surrounding his uncle’s farm. “Let me go, Eli! That hurts.” Dodging branches and prickly bri
ars, she stumbled through the wooded undergrowth. But despite her complaints, Eli kept a tight grip on her hand. Finally, they reached a clearing, and he stopped and let go of her hand. There, across the little creek that ran through the clearing, stood a tethered horse hitched to an open surrey.
Confused, Regina turned to him. Had he bought a surrey and wanted her opinion of it? “Is this yours?”
He shrugged. “Nah. I borrowed it from my uncle.”
Regina huffed her impatience. She was not about to go gallivanting around Dudleytown with Eli. “You know I can’t go riding with you without Papa’s permission.”
Grinning, Eli took her hand again and towed her closer to the creek. “We won’t need anybody’s permission to ride together after today. Two miles away, there’s a preacher waitin’ to marry us.”
Chapter 15
R egina’s eyes popped, and her jaw sagged. Yanking her hand from his, she took two steps backward. “Have you lost all reason?”
Eli’s face transformed into an angry mask. His green eyes turned stormy, reminding her of how the sky looked once when a cyclone came through Sauers. He grabbed at her hand again, but she pulled it away. “I’m tired of waitin’. We’re gettin’ married this afternoon, and that’s the end of it!”
Raw fear leapt like a hot flame in her chest. She struggled to breathe. Surely he wouldn’t force her to go with him. Then slowly, cool reason flooded back, extinguishing her fear. Even if Eli did force her to go stand with him before a preacher, no preacher she knew would perform such nuptials against her wishes.
Drawing in a deep, calming breath, she turned to him. “Eli, I cannot marry you—ever.”
Hurt and anger twisted his handsome features. “You like me. I know you do. You said so.”
Sadly, Regina knew he was right. She bore at least part of the blame for the predicament in which she found herself. For months she had encouraged Eli, even pursued him. Tears sprang to her eyes, and she hung her head in shame. “I am sorry I let you think I wanted … It was wrong of me. But I know now I cannot marry you, Eli.”
He cursed, shocking her. Fear flared again. She had seen him angry before, but even the time they had argued in the barn, he hadn’t cursed at her. “Quit worryin’ about what your folks think, Regina. I wager they won’t like it much at first, but they’ll get used to the idea in time.”
He stepped toward her, and she took another step back. The time had come to share with Eli what she now realized. “I have told you before I would never marry without my parents’ blessing, and that is true. But it is not the only reason I cannot marry you.”
Stepping closer, he held out his hands palms up. “What other reason is there?”
Unsure how he would react to her next words, Regina prepared to bolt, praying she could find her way back to the barn lot. “I cannot marry you because I do not love you. I love someone else.”
Eli’s face scrunched up, and his eyes narrowed to angry green slits. “And who do you love—Rothhaus?” He nearly spat Diedrich’s surname.
“Yes,” she blurted. It felt good to say it. And now that she had, she wanted to scream it. “I love Diedrich Rothhaus.”
A rustling sounded a few feet behind her. She spun around, and for an instant, her heart jolted to a dead stop in her chest. Diedrich stood less than two yards away, his eyes wide and his mouth agape.
For an excruciatingly long moment, they both stood stock still, exchanging a look of stunned incredulity. The awareness in his eyes confirmed he had both heard and understood her declaration of love for him. A wave of humiliation washed through her. Her feet, which seemed to have taken root in the woods’ decaying underbrush, sprang to life again. Spurred by her embarassment, they now seemed to have sprouted wings, and she ran. As she sped past Diedrich, she thought she heard him utter her name, but the ringing in her ears drowned it out. Dead leaves moist from recent rains slipped beneath her feet. Brambles clutched at her clothes. Branches stung her face and arms. She ignored it all. She didn’t even care where she ended up as long as she didn’t have to face Diedrich. What did he think? What did he feel? Sadness? Pity? Or worse—fear that she would break their secret agreement and force him into the marriage their fathers had bargained?
By the grace of God, she suddenly emerged from the wood into a clearing behind the building site of the new barn. Gasping for breath, she finally stopped. With her whole body trembling and her heart slamming against her ribs, she clutched a poplar sapling for support. She feared if she let go of the tree, she might crumple in a heap. But knowing Diedrich was doubtless only steps behind her lent strength to her shaky limbs. She couldn’t let him find her in this state. She had to have time to compose herself and gather her thoughts before allowing him to confront her with what he had heard her say.
Drawing a deep, tremulous breath, she somehow made her way to the food tables. There she noticed Anna Rieckers wrapping a cotton towel around a large crockery bowl. Glancing up, her friend caught sight of Regina and halted in her work. A look of concern etched on her face, she stepped toward her.
“Regina, are you sick? You do not look well.” She grasped Regina’s arms, and Regina slumped against her, glad for the support.
“I—I don’t feel well.” It was not a lie. Between the shock of Eli trying to force her to elope with him and Diedrich learning that she loved him, Regina felt physically ill. She was glad she hadn’t eaten anything before leaving the food tables—for if she had, she surely would have lost it back in the woods.
Anna’s pale blue eyes shone with compassion. “Come. You need to sit down. Let me help you to the quilts Mama and I spread in the shade.” Slipping her arm around Regina, Anna gently steered her toward a giant catalpa tree. “We are about ready to leave for home, but you can rest on the quilts until we get the wagon loaded.”
Regina stopped. “You are going home?” The Rieckers would need to pass by Regina’s house. Perhaps they would be willing to take her home.
Anna nodded, and a look of disappointment pulled her lips into a frown. “Ja. Papa and my brothers will stay for a while, but Mama and I need to get home and start the milking.” Swiping at a strand of blond hair blown across her face by a passing breeze, she cast a longing glance toward the skeletal framework of the new barn. “I was hoping to spend more time with August, but Papa won’t let him bring me home until we are formally promised.”
Regina had known for months that Anna and August Entebrock were keeping company. August’s name was one Papa had mentioned last fall as a possible suitor for Regina. She remembered being happy to report to Papa that the twenty-year-old farmer was courting her best friend and thus unavailable.
Anna’s narrow shoulders rose and fell with a deep sigh. “You are so fortunate that your intended lives with your family. You get to see him every day.”
Regina wished she could confide in Anna that seeing Diedrich every day felt at times more like a curse than a blessing. Best friends since childhood, she and Anna had long dreamed of marrying the same year and raising their families next to one another. Except for Papa, no one had been more excited than Anna to learn of Regina and Diedrich’s pending engagement. It had taken all of Regina’s fortitude not to share with Anna her earlier feelings for Eli and the deal she had made with Diedrich. And while she could trust her sister Elsie to keep her secret, Anna’s exuberance sometimes caused her to blurt things without thinking. Regina couldn’t risk the truth getting back to Papa.
Scanning the building site, Anna gave a little gasp. “Oh, there is your handsome Verlobter . Perhaps I should tell him you are not feeling well. He may want to take you home.” She turned as if to go fetch Diedrich, but Regina clutched her arm, restraining her.
“Nein!” The word exploded from Regina’s lips. At the stunned expression on Anna’s face, Regina tempered her voice. “Of course Diedrich cannot take me home, Anna. That would not be korrekt unless Mama and Papa came, too.”
Anna reddened, and she shook her head. “Nein, nein. Of course I did not
mean that the two of you should go home alone. I was thinking that his Vater would go, too.”
“There you are, Regina. I have been looking everywhere for you.” Mama strode toward them, a less-than-pleased expression on her face. Despite the stern look and the censure in her voice, Regina couldn’t remember being happier to see her mother. But before she could say anything, Anna piped up.
“Frau Seitz, Regina is not feeling well.”
“Oh?” Mama’s perturbed expression melted into one of concern. She pressed the back of her hand against Regina’s forehead and then her cheeks. “You do look flushed. Perhaps you should lie down in the back of the wagon for a while.”
Regina cast a hopeful look at Anna then back to Mama. “Anna and her Mutter are leaving soon. I was thinking maybe they could take me home.” She turned imploring eyes back to Anna.
Anna smiled. “I will go ask Mama, but I know she would be happy to take you home.”
Mama nodded, and Regina felt some of the tension drain from her body. “That would be gut, I think.” Mama smiled and patted Regina’s cheek. “You probably ate something that did not sit well. You should go home and rest now, and tomorrow I will give you a good dose of castor oil.”
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