by Katy Kaylee
“What do they want?”
“A better question is, what do you want?”
What I wanted was irrelevant, but Alice wasn't going to accept that answer.
Truthfully I wanted to meet someone who didn’t mind that I had no sexual experience whatsoever. I wanted that person to accept that and not try to change it. There was nothing wrong with that, or so I had been told, but I felt out of place, especially around Alice.
It was no secret that my best friend was an expert when it came to sex, and all things physical. She had always been like that, very open about her sexuality, and who could blame her?
She was the head cheerleader, she was blonde with blue eyes and big boobs. Her parents were rich, they hung out in the elite circles. All the boys wanted to date her, and all the girls wanted to be her.
Why she chose to be my friend and stick with me as long as she did was still a mystery to me.
Even though I thought on several occasions that she’d be better off with another best friend, I couldn't possibly imagine my life without her in it. She brought me out of my shell, and she was the sister I never had.
I spent more time at her house than at my own, mainly because my brother was an annoying little shit, despite being older than I was. I loved afternoons and weekends at the Morgan house, especially when her older brother Zac was there.
He was the epitome of everything I had ever wanted. He was roguishly handsome, had intense green eyes that could make anyone melt into a puddle of mush at his feet. He was on the football team and always dated the cheerleaders, which was such a stupid stereotype. It just made it seem as though both cliques were shallow idiots who deserved each other, and in high school, I thought the same.
Alice was the exception to the rule. She refused to date anyone on the football team for the sole reason that she didn't want to hang out with those bitchy girls. Plus, I wasn't going to be included in those hangouts, so she wasn't interested. She even told that to the head cheerleader. To her face.
That was one of the moments that made me realize that Alice wasn't just my friend because she felt sorry for me, but because I was her friend. It was a weird dynamic, but it worked for us.
There was only one rule that had to be followed – stay away from Zac.
This rule was only implemented in high school though, and luckily it couldn't come at a more opportune time.
Zac was injured during a football game, got cut from the team, and started going off the rails. It was also round about the time their mom passed away from cancer.
It was heartbreaking, and the house had become so quiet. Their dad became a little of a recluse, and Zac rebelled, in a bad way.
He became friends with a different crowd, started hanging around in dark places, and his behavior became risky. Too risky for me, so I was relieved when Alice told me that Zac was off limits. I definitely didn't want him to drag me down into the hole he had clearly dug for himself, wallowing in his own self-pity and misery.
I wasn't being insensitive or anything. Losing a parent had to be one of the worst feelings in the world, but changing for the worst because of it wasn't right. Of course I wasn't judging him, I just thought that he could have handled it better.
So, instead of being the clean cut, football hero I had dreamt about since I was thirteen, he became a scruffy, rebellious car mechanic that would most definitely break my heart without even feeling ad about it.
It was sad, really. He had so much potential and he threw it all away.
Alice raised her eyebrows expectantly at me, and I realized that I had not answered her question yet. I scraped the bottom of the barrel, not knowing what I wanted to say and came up with the only thing I could think of.
“I just want to be wanted by someone who truly cares.”
Alice pouted her lips briefly and nodded. “Again, you won’t know if you don’t try.”
I knew she wasn't going to let this go, but I wasn't going to give in to her. At least not yet. The only way I was going to agree to this was if I somehow managed to rectify the situation I found myself in. But then again, I’ve had eight years to do that, and it still wasn't done.
I had to buy myself some time, figure out a way how I was going to do this. Weren’t there places in Los Angeles where I could go to, for the lack of a better word, have this fixed?
That was a brothel, right? Did brothels only have females working for them?
I scoffed inwardly at the contents that oh so casually slipped into my mind. My mother would be ashamed of me if she knew what her daughter was thinking.
The other alternative would be to go to a dating agency and get paired up with someone who only wanted a one night stand.
What kind of reasoning is that, Olivia?
I was being ridiculous. Those dating agencies weren't just going to pair me up with someone who solely wanted to have sex, right?
Wait. What was that dating app that Alice used? I couldn't even think of the name, although she mentioned it countless times.
“What are you thinking about?” she suddenly asked, yanking me from my maze of illicit thoughts and I glanced at her with wide eyes.
“Oh, I was just...” My voice trailed and her perfectly shaped eyebrows raised up.
Before I was able to answer, the front door of Alice’s apartment flew open and the familiar sound of Zac dropping his keys into the porcelain bowl specifically placed there for keys, echoed through the apartment.
“Something smells good in here,” he said as he entered the dining room.
If I said that I wasn't holding my breath, I’d be lying as the boy whom I had had a crush on ever since junior high, stood in the doorway, glancing right at me. His green eyes sparkled the way they always did, enticing me to my core. His light brown hair was disheveled and despite spending his days working as a mechanic, one would never say it. He hands were clean and he never smelled of car oil or exhaust fumes. A charming smile formed on his lips and I tried my hardest not to melt into a puddle at the table. No-one knew of this crush I had on him.
Not even Alice.
Especially not Alice.
I’d never hear the end of it.
Zac
I stepped into the dining room of my younger sister’s apartment, to find her and Liv having dinner. I was supposed to have a night out with the guys from the shop, but their girlfriends had a problem with us hanging out during the week.
Having a key to Alice’s apartment for emergencies soon turned into a permanent open invitation, and even though I knew she didn't mind having me over, I wasn't much of a nuisance.
“Hey, Zac,” Alice said and glanced at me over her shoulder.
“Hey, sis,” I said cheerfully and gave Liv a nod. “Liv, nice you see you again.”
Liv nodded tightly and lowered her gaze to her food.
I stepped closer to the table and reached for a piece of tomato on Alice’s plate.
“Don’t even think about it,” Alice said, swatting my hand away. “Yours is in the microwave.”
Placing a grateful hand against my chest, I gushed, “Little sis, you shouldn't have.”
“Trust me, I almost didn’t,” I heard her say as I entered the kitchen.
True to her word, a plate of food waited for me in the microwave, and I warmed it up a for a minute. Alice and Liv were quiet in the dining room, and I suspected I had interrupted a private conversation. Nevertheless, nothing with them was ever private, and it wouldn't be long until they tried to include me in it.
I recalled all the times that Alice and Liv spent at our parents’ house, where I was dragged into a conversation I didn't even agree to be in. Worst of all, they asked for my advice regarding guys and relationships, and frankly, I didn't give them anything good. It wasn't that I couldn’t, I didn’t want to. Most of the times I didn't even listen to what they were talking about, or what they asked me.
Admittedly I was kind of an asshole is school, and beyond for that matter. I didn't think that giving dating a
dvice to my little sister and her socially awkward best friend was my idea of doing something productive with my time. I’d much rather have spent my time racing cars and getting into all kinds of trouble with my friends.
I was never cut out to be the clean cut son my parents wanted me to be, or at least that my dad wanted me to be. My mom passed away from cancer when I was in high school and it hit me harder than I thought it would. I was close to my mother ever since I was really young, but I had always had a fragile and strained relationship with my father. It had gotten worse after my mother passed, and it just never really recovered after that. He never remarried either, and prefers to spend his life bitter and alone, angry at the world for depriving him of the only woman who he had ever loved. In a way, I felt sorry for him, but not enough to call him up and talk to him. We were basically strangers now, drifted apart by our misery, and our stubborn nature.
Alice still stayed in contact with our dad, visiting him, having dinner with him, but I haven't seen him since I moved out of his house. To me I was finally free of the scowls, the glaring disapproval in his eyes, and the way he’d tell me that I was a disappointment to the family, and to my mom.
Keeping my mouth shut had not been something I could easily do, especially not when it came to my mom, and I ended up grabbing him by the neck and thrusting him against the wall. Alice eventually convinced me to drop him, and I did. I left, and never went back.
Alice was distraught, as she had now lost her brother as well, but as I cooled off, I let her visit me, and we became close yet again. She was the only family I had left, and the only one who I could spend more than ten minutes with. Although she could get annoying at times – or most times – she was my sister and I loved her.
Liv on the other hand, she was something else.
She was a quiet girl, and still is, and people would imagine that Liv was the one who followed Alice around, but it was quite the opposite. Alice had been the one who followed Liv like a shadow around the playground, everywhere in fact, and they soon became inseparable. Liv spent more time at our house than she did at her own house, although I never really understood why. Her parents were the nicest people. Her mom always greeted me from the other side of the fence and her dad and I spent a lot of time together in his garage. He was into cars, like I was, and we spent afternoons fixing his old Chevy, with Liv’s older brother, who was the same age as I was.
It was like spending quality time with a father figure who wasn't even family, but honestly, I would do anything for Mr. Donovan, even now.
Liv’s eyes briefly rested on my face before she turned back to Alice, and I wondered what she was thinking. She was an incredibly beautiful young woman, curvier than usual, but I liked that about her. She was just a little awkward, and a bit on the naive side of things. She grew up a little more sheltered than Alice and I had, and at times I thought she was a little too oblivious.
She worked as a dental nurse, so she was smart and witty, but I could tell she wasn't very experienced in life.
As the microwave chimed, I opened it and took my plate out. Walking towards the dining room, I heard their conversation end abruptly and I sat down. I flashed a smile at Liv, whose cheeks flushed slightly and I started eating.
“So, what are we talking about?” I asked jokingly with a mouth-full of food.
“Well,” Alice said and glanced precociously at Liv. “Liv and I were just talking about her dating life, or lack thereof.”
“Alice,” Liv warned, which made me glance at her.
Her brown eyes were ablaze with irritation and her jaw clenched.
“What?” I asked, and glanced at Alice.
Alice shrugged at Liv and glanced at me.
There were a few moments of silence around the table, followed by awkward glances being exchanged between the two women, with me in the middle.
Liv rolled her eyes and muttered, “Whatever.”
“Okay, you ladies won’t believe the day I had,” I said with a chuckle, disregarding their death stares. “This guy comes into the shop, right, with his fancy car. He was rich asshole with his Mercedes, and kept telling me where to unscrew the engine from the block, like I was some kind of idiot. I mean, I appreciate people telling me about what’s wrong with their car, but don’t lecture me on how to do my job. Am I right?”
“Yeah, it’s not fun when people think they know better,” Liv muttered and glanced at him.
I sighed and placed my fork down. “Okay. What is going on with you two?”
“You tell him, Alice,” Liv urged her best friend.
Alice pouted slightly and said, “I’m trying to convince Liv that going on a blind date isn’t as terrifying as she thinks it is.”
I opened my mouth to retort, but Liv interjected before I could.
“Of course it’s terrifying. What if this guy turns out to be a serial killer, or something?” she asked.
“He’s not a serial killer,” Alice said with a dramatic eye-roll and Liv narrowed her eyes at Alice.
“Wait, you know the guy you want to set Liv up with?” I asked Alice.
“Of course, I do,” Alice exclaimed. “I’m not going to throw my best friend in the world to the wolves.”
“So, who’s the guy?” I asked.
“Just someone I know,” Alice shrugged.
“Do I know him?” Liv asked.
“No.”
“Are you going to tell me who it is?”
“No.” Alice glanced at her Liv and flashed a bright smile, but Liv was not amused.
“It’s a good thing I didn't agree to this,” Liv said as she flashed Alice the exact same smile.
“Not yet,” Alice said with a wink.
“Okay,” I muttered and took a deep breath.
“So what’s going on in your life, Zac?” Alice asked me. “Besides the rich knowing more about cars than you do.”
I snickered and cocked my head at her. “Not much. I’ve been working late these last few weeks, I want to get the Corvette up and running again.”
“You still have the Corvette?” Liv asked.
“Yeah, I do,” I said and glanced at her. “I’m surprised you remember.”
“Why does that surprise you?” Liv asked and glanced at me with those warm and innocent doe eyes of hers. “You’ve loved that car since you were in high school.”
A smile formed on my lips and I studied her for a few seconds. Her cheeks began to flush and she lowered her gaze, which made me chuckle. “When I’m finally done with it, I’ll pick you up and we can go for a ride. Okay?”
Liv glanced at me briefly and nodded. “Sure.”
“Great,” I said and I noticed the corners of her mouth edge up ever so slightly. If I wasn't mistaken, I could have sworn she was about to smile, even if it was just a little.
She cleared her throat and stood from the table. “Excuse me a minute.”
I carried on eating but felt Alice’s eyes bore into my skin. I glanced up at her and raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“What was that?” Alice asked.
“What?”
“I’ll pick you up and we can go for a ride,” Alice answered, badly impersonating my voice.
“I was just being nice. She remembered the Corvette.”
“The whole world knows about the Corvette, Zac,” Alice muttered.
“You can come too,” I said to Alice. “If you want.”
“Take a ride in that smelly old thing. No thank you.”
“Hey, don’t insult my girl. She’s been with me for a long time,” I warned her playfully.
“Probably the only woman, besides me, who have stuck with you that long.”
The moment the words left her mouth, she regretted it, and she sighed.
Liv walked into the dining room and stopped abruptly when she felt the tension in the room.
Luckily, my phone buzzed in my pocket and I stood up from the table. “I have to get this.”
I quickly stepped into the hallway that led to the
bedrooms and answered my phone.
“Hey.”
“Hey, Zac. Are you free tonight?” the familiar voice asked me.
“I am kind of in the middle of something, but I can get out of it,” I answered.
“Good. I need you at the Blue Lounge in an hour.”
I ran my fingers through my hair and glanced at the wooden clock in the shape of a tomato. “Yeah, I can do that.”
“Your mark will be wearing a red scarf.”
“Got it,” I said and listened as the call disconnected.
I stepped back in the dining room and Alice and Liv glanced at me. “I gotto go.”
“What? Where?” Alice asked.
“To the shop. Eric’s got an emergency that he wants me to deal with.”
“Okay,” Alice shrugged, knowing there was nothing she could do or say that would make me stay.
“Bye, sis,” I said to her and turned to Liv, “bye, Liv.”
“Bye,” they both said at the same time.
As I left Alice’s apartment, I didn't even feel bad for lying to them.
There was no emergency at the shop, and it wasn't Eric who phoned me.
Of course I couldn't tell Alice what was really going on, because I could already imagine her reaction if I had to tell her the truth.
I only did it for the money, and although it already sounded very illicit and very illegal for that matter, it wasn’t.
At night, I worked for a very elite company who provided male companions for women who did not wish to attend a fancy dinner, conference, or corporate event by themselves. I was their date, their companion, the guy in the rented tux who made them look good, desirable and made them stand out in the crowd. I was my usual charming self – I was less of an asshole lately – and I made those women laugh, provided them with the companionship they needed. Even if it was only for one night.
I did not sleep with them, even though I was offered a lot of money on more than one occasion. I wasn't going to sacrifice my already tainted reputation, and my integrity just to make more money. I wasn't a male prostitute after all.
No, the agency had a better word for this, a classier word.
How did I get into this world? Well, it was in part thanks to Eric. He saw an advertisement online that this company was looking for handsome, charming and single men who wanted to make extra money during the evenings. At first we thought it was for a strip club or some Magic Mike kind of shit, but the agency was the most professional company I had ever seen. There were schedules and meeting, certain criteria we had to meet. It was crazy. Eric was a little more apprehensive than I was, and didn't go through with it in the end. Me on the other hand, went in, guns blazing. I had finally found something – other than building cars – that I was good at. It wasn't something that I was ashamed of, but I didn't want Alice to find out. I didn't want to disappoint her any more than I had in the past.
