by Olivia Hart
“What’s happened, Anita?” Giovanna appears at the kitchen door with a racing heartbeat, some fabric and a needle in her hand.
“Commodilla’s disappeared!”
“How?”
“They let her out of Diego’s apartment last night. Have you seen her?”
“No…”
Anita still has tear-filled eyes. The lack of sleep, the tension and her conversation with Matteo have put her into a total state of anxiety. “I’m going to look for her!” She turns and runs out.
“Let me get my shoes… I’m coming with you!”
*
“Good morning, Matteo.” Paolo opens the door.
“Paolo, have you seen Commodilla around? Did she climb up to your terrace by any chance?”
“No, I don’t think so… actually, Rudy and I just had lunch on the terrace. Why? What’s happened?”
“She disappeared last night… we’re searching for her.”
“I’ll come and help!”
*
All the neighbours seem to want to help to search for Commodilla. Giovanna has even asked Pina, since nothing gets past her!
Anita, in spite of feeling exhausted, tries to keep her mind clear. She’s already organised the hunt for Commodilla, giving everybody a specific area to search. Unfortunately, there are many places where a cat can hide.
She decides to climb the hill and go to the park where Diego found her five years ago as a tiny, frightened kitten.
*
Catacombs of Commodilla. Anita stops in front of the inscription on the marble slab. Every time she’s there, she’s flooded with sweet memories of her childhood. But she doesn’t have time for daydreaming now. She must find Commodilla.
She passes the gate and walks swiftly towards the children’s park. It was there that the kitten was found, so little that she could fit in the palm of your hand. She asks around, but no one seems to have seen her. She turns and walks towards the upper part of the park, where the archaeological ruins are. She’s getting more anxious with every minute that passes.
“Commodilla must be terrified by now… why didn’t I bring some of her treats with me? I could have lured her to me with food.”
*
“Commodillaaaaaa, here kitty, kitty…” Daniel’s voice echoes on the other side of the park. He’s worried. The disappearance of that innocent little cat has thrown him into trouble, and he’s already upset and not ready to deal with yet another crisis. The argument with Olga, then Anita, and now he wonders how he can face his friend, who has lent him the apartment in Garbatella, if Commodilla doesn’t reappear. Then he hears a faint meow coming from a briar bush near the old worn out wall. Daniel sniffs the air like a stray dog. Then he keeps calling her, “Here, kitty, kitty!” When he finally sees her little face peeking out of the bush, he shouts, “There you are!” Commodilla is curled up against the wall, she meows softly again when she sees him, but doesn’t move. “Thank god I found you! Come here, little one…” Commodilla is still too scared to move. Daniel puts his hands into the bush and grabs her. “I promise you’ll be my only princess from now on! We’ll kick out that bitch… who, by the way, didn’t even come to help me. I’m sure she’s getting her nails done instead right now.” Comforted by the physical contact, Commodilla calms down and puts her little head in his armpit. Daniel walks towards the gate with the cat clutched to his chest. She purrs now. “Silly little one! Why didn’t you stay put on the stairs or the landing? And if I couldn’t find you, who would’ve told Diego?” He says, stroking her.
“Commodillaaa… come, little kitty… Commodilla!” Anita’s voice comes from somewhere in the background. Daniel turns, the cat pricks up her ears and, in trying to break free, she scratches the top of his hand. But Daniel doesn’t let her go. He wouldn’t even if she sank her teeth into his neck! He wants to take her home.
Anita appears from around the corner and suddenly stops. When she sees the hairy bundle Daniel holds in his arms, she runs towards him. “You found her!” She’s panting and her hair is tousled, some of her copper curls are falling down on her forehead. Daniel looks at her stroking Commodilla. She’s never looked more beautiful.
“What happened?” Anita notices his bleeding hand.
“It’s nothing. When she heard your voice, she wanted to escape.”
“Let me take a look…” she whispers.
“But, as you can see, I was heroic and didn’t let her go!” He smiles.
Anita looks up at him. Her face is tender, naked, and defenceless. All the accumulated anger and anxiety seem to have disappeared, leaving in their place a sweet uncertain smile.
When Daniel kisses her, she loses all sense of time. She can only hear Commodilla’s heartbeat racing as she is held snugly between their bodies.
Daniel frees a hand to touch her cheek, “Anita…” he whispers.
She softly touches his lips and kisses him. “Daniel… what’s happening to us?”
“We’ve found each other again. I found you, Anita.”
14
To Knock or Not to Knock
“Nothing? And neither did you?” Matteo’s voice is worried now, when he looks at Giovanna approaching with a discouraged expression.
“I wonder where she could be… and Diego told me so many times to take care of her! I do feel so guilty.” Giovanna keeps looking around.
Paolo appears empty-handed too, but he tries to keep everybody’s spirits up. “Let’s not get discouraged. Commodilla will find her way home… I’m sure.”
“Hey! We’ve found her!!” Anita’s high-pitched voice reaches them. She and Daniel walk side by side and he’s holding Commodilla in his arms.
Everyone’s relieved and they begin to approach Commodilla, but she doesn’t seem to appreciate being the centre of attention.
“Giovannnaaaa! Where was she?” Pina comes to her window with little Francesca in her arms.
“She was in the park… she had us so worried!”
Pina goes back into the kitchen to feed her child, but leaves the window open so as not to lose sight of the scene outside.
“Her eyes are still wet,” Matteo thinks, looking at Anita, who instinctively lowers her gaze as if he could read on her face what just happened.
Anita has neither the time nor the want to analyse that moment in the park. She’s simply too excited. Maybe she shouldn’t be, but she’s happy.
“I’d better take her home…” Daniel has been strangely silent until then.
“Let’s hope Olga doesn’t kick her out again.” Paolo says.
Facing Olga is the last thing Daniel wants to do right now. He knows her cold and abrasive manner when she’s upset. He searches for Anita’s wide eyes and then leaves with Commodilla.
*
“Did you find your precious little cat?” The voice coming from the bedroom has a strong foreign accent. When Olga’s angry she pretends she’s forgotten Italian, as if she wants to distance herself not just from him, but from the entire Italian population. There was a time when they used to laugh at her accent and he would lovingly correct her mistakes. Now this attitude gets on his nerves. He strokes Commodilla’s fur to calm himself down.
When he gets to the bedroom door, Daniel sees a blonde tornado packing. She’s wildly throwing clothes and shoes into her suitcase. She wears a white t-shirt, tight jeans and All Stars sneakers.
“You’re beautiful when you’re angry.”
“Listen Daniel, give it up. I see how you behave with your little friend from high school.”
“Who? Anita?”
“Yes, the one you dedicated your lovey song to…”
“We say lovely.”
“Stop correcting me! You perfectly understood what I meant. You’ve shown me who you really are. Get out of my way, I’m leaving.”
“Don’t you want to talk in a civilised way?” Daniel is surprised by his own words.
“Talk about what?”
“About where you’re going to stay for example�
��”
“Fak you!”
“We say fuck you, Olga. F-U-C-K.”
“You are really an A-S-S-H-O-L-E! Did I spell it correctly this time?” And she leaves, slamming the door.
Daniel throws himself on the bed, his legs and arms spread out, as someone ready to give up. He looks for the TV remote. “Too bad it had to end this way. We had great moments together.” And he changes the channel.
*
Paolo sighs and sits on the low wall in the vegetable garden. Commodilla is safe now. He knows very well how horrible it is to lose a cat, and hasn’t forgotten it. He was ten years old when Scylla disappeared. She was a very spirited, sweet kitten. They searched for her everywhere in the neighbourhood. As time passed, he had felt more and more anxious. They never found her. For months, every time he saw a stray cat out on the street, his heart jumped with expectation. And every time it was a deep disappointment, especially for a child.
By now only he, Matteo Spina, and Anita remain in the yard.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s been an intense day. I think I’ll go now.” Matteo leaves with his cigar butt and tired step.
The light of the afternoon is reflected beautifully on the ochre walls. It’s peaceful.
Anita is the first to speak. “Paolo, you know what? I envy you…”
“You do? Why?”
“Actually, I should’ve said I envy you both. You and Rodolfo seem to be a very well matched couple. You always look comfortable together.”
“My dear, it’s not always been like this, believe me.”
“It’s difficult to believe… at the beginning maybe, like for all couples there’s an adjustment period…”
Paolo has an absent expression now, so Anita adds, “I’m sorry. Perhaps I was out of line… it’s not my business…”
“No, absolutely not! You make me remember the good times. The beginning… It was really love at first sight! I met Rodolfo during a difficult period of my life. I’d broken up with my partner; we’d lived together for long time. It didn’t work out with him and it was the right decision, but I still felt very lonely.
That summer all Paolo’s friends were away on vacation. One evening, just to get out of the house, he’d decided to go the ‘Gay Village’ club. After parking and walking towards the entrance, he’d noticed a young man going in the same direction. They’d entered the club together and sat next to each other to watch the drag show. Rodolfo seemed to enjoy the show, and at some point he had told Paolo that his dream was to participate in one of those shows. At that moment Paolo had realised how handsome he was.
“Well, we talked a lot that evening and drank lots of beer. We told each other things that we’d never told anyone before.”
“And then?” Anita is entranced by the story, as if it were a fantastic film.
“Then one of the drag queens joined us; I think her name was Jenny. After chatting for a while, she said: guys, I could cut the erotic tension here with a knife… I’ll leave you two alone. I looked at Rodolfo and instinctively told him, follow me.”
Rodolfo was supposed to follow Paolo in his car. He’d just moved to Rome, so when Paolo lost sight of him in the rearview mirror, he realised Rudy had vanished. They hadn’t exchanged numbers, and the ‘Gay Village’ was miles away by then. He made a quick U-turn and slowly drove back, looking carefully at each car he passed, but nothing – no Rodolfo.
“Anita, you won’t believe this! I was desperate.”
But Anita believes it. In fact she takes and squeezes Paolo’s hand. “And what did you do, Paolo?”
“I went back to the entrance of the club, which at that point had closed, and waited there. And guess what? After about ten minutes Rodolfo showed up, and since then we’ve never been apart. Of course every relationship has its ups and downs, but…”
Anita didn’t let him finish and throws her arms around him. “What a wonderful story, Paolo! It was destiny…”
“Well, not exactly, darling. Fortunately, we both felt that our encounter couldn’t end like that – lost in the middle of the night in the empty streets of Rome – but if we hadn’t bothered to go back to the club, we wouldn’t be here today.”
*
Anita just wants to lie in bed and not think of anything because the thoughts that are crowding her mind are not pleasant at all!
Mizuki’s in London. He didn’t even call her before leaving. He says he loves her, but then he decided everything by himself, involving her only at the last minute! As if it weren’t a huge decision… as if she could leave just like that, without causing any problems! An important decision like this must be made by two people, together. She feels that Mizuki’s been unfair and selfish. He’s placed himself and his career before her, before their relationship. Nothing new… it isn’t the first time she’s heard about this kind of behaviour… MEN! Then there’s Daniel. She kisses him, twice. And both times she desperately wanted to. She wouldn’t want to admit her feelings to anybody, but she’s deeply attracted to him. She can’t lie to herself. And now she feels guilty. Very guilty.
*
Giovanna can’t believe it! But it must be true. Pina is always well informed and right. She told her, “The Russian girl left with her cello and suitcase… and she didn’t look happy at all! I wonder what’s happened…”
Giovanna played down the situation, answering, “She and Daniel probably had an argument. It happens… I’m sure she’ll be back.” But inside she’s bursting with joy. She likes Daniel and since he turned up, she can’t help but think that he’d be perfect for Anita – her beautiful daughter still single… she thinks it’s unfair.
Anita’s bedroom door is closed, but her stuff is on the chair nearby. Maybe she’s resting. Giovanna has an idea. “Anita! Anita? Are you there?”
“God have mercy! I don’t want to talk now…” she thinks, but – like always – Anita answers her mother. “Yes Mum, I’m here… but don’t scream! I can hear you.”
Giovanna enters her daughter’s bedroom with a radiant smile. “Love, I have some especially delicious cat food for Commodilla. I thought that after her traumatic experience, she’d enjoy it. Why don’t you take it to Daniel?”
“Come on, Mum! I don’t want to disturb them…”
“I don’t think you would be disturbing anything. Olga’s left! Pina saw her…”
Anita wonders why her mother mentions Olga… but now she’d love to know so many things. Has Olga really left? When? Of course she isn’t completely uninterested…. She gets up and takes the can of food for Commodilla. “Ok! You win! Let me wash my face, I’m still half asleep.”
*
Anita has a moment of panic in front of Daniel’s door. To knock or not to knock? Then she tells herself, “Anita, don’t be silly. There isn’t a big bad wolf behind this door!” And she knocks.
Daniel immediately assumes that Olga has come back. “As if I don’t know it’s her!” So he’s puzzled when he sees Anita in the doorway. “Hi,” he mumbles.
“My mum gave me this cat food for Commodilla. It’s her favourite.”
“Come on in. you already know the place…”
It’s still daylight, but the shutters are half-closed and Diego’s living room is immersed in a warm dim light. The apartment looks the same, maybe a little messier, and of course there is the double bass in plain sight. Anita meets Daniel’s eyes; this is enough to make her think that she’d better go. “Ok, I’ll leave. Don’t forget Commodilla’s treat, I left it on the table.”
*
Daniel smells good, maybe it’s soap. He must have just got out of the shower… “Stupid, stupid woman! Stop it.” Anita tells herself. “Don’t let those kinds of images into your head.” But that scent is close, much too close. Daniel’s hand strokes her cheek when she passes in front of him and it’s as if a magic wand stops her in her tracks. Anita stops and looks at him. She doesn’t hear anything around her properly any more – everything’s muffled. She can only hear her heart racing. Daniel takes
her face between his hands, then his fingers slip into her curls. Anita feels shivers along her spine, but can’t move. He’s now caressing her back and then her shoulders and bare arms. She closes her eyes. When Daniel finally kisses her, she parts her lips and lets herself go.
Everything is frantic and hungry. Their tongues search for each other, intertwine, dance. Their hands explore and discover wet, dark places. She doesn’t know how long it’s been, she only knows it was deeply liberating. Now they’re panting, lying naked on Diego’s rug, still tightly entwined. Commodilla meows. Maybe she’s hungry. She can wait. Yet her meowing seems strange now, repetitive, like a jackhammer. She doesn’t understand. She stretches her hand out, and touches something smooth; it doesn’t seem to be Diego’s rug. Then the meowing becomes a familiar voice.
“Anita! Anitaa! How long do I have to keep calling you?” It’s her mother.
Anita feels at first a sense of annoyance, then disappointment, and eventually relief. “Oh my god! I was sleeping. It was just a dream!” She realises. “Jesus, what a scare! Better get up and forget everything.”
But she can’t forget absolutely everything. She wonders if the new tenant in Diego’s apartment also imagined what might have happened after that kiss.
15
Flight of the Bumblebee
It seems like July. The light breeze from the west has gone and hot sunlight shines on the bus. The driver stops and opens the doors; a wave of heat envelops everybody. Anita turns towards the tourists who look exhausted and flushed. Some of them look like they’ve just come from an English pub after too many beers – their faces are purple.
“Your punctuality is greatly appreciated. The meeting point is here at 3:30 p.m.” Then she addresses the driver. “Thank you for stopping here, Marco. I’m late for an appointment and it’s just a few minutes from here. See you later!”
Anita heads quickly towards the café in Via Ripetta, the historical venue for her’s and Alessandra’s meetings. Alessandra will already be there for sure. She’s not always racing against time like Anita. To be honest, she doesn’t have much else to do.
