“Fortunately, your ordeal is over,” he replied somewhat sympathetically.
“Is it? Or have I been thrown from one tribulation right into another? What exactly are your intentions, after all? Did you come here just to torture me and seek some kind of twisted revenge on Daddy? Do you hold nothing sacred?”
Patrick smashed his fist down onto the desk, his face filled with rage. “How dare you ask me that? Look at you! You are one to talk of vengeance, torture, and sacred intentions!”
I couldn’t believe my ears. I was appalled. “You left me! You turned away from what we shared. I loved you!”
“I see how much you loved me. The moment I left you ran to the arms of Warren Stone. Now you carry his child.” His face was twisted with disgust.
But how dare he! He’d discarded me! It was his choice. I would have had every right to run to Warren, though it wasn’t nearly the truth.
We sat across from one another, glaring, our chests heaving from distress and anger. I wasn’t about to let Patrick Garrett forget how he had discarded me, and I knew I would strike a nerve when I also reminded him of his promise to my dying mother.
~ ~ ~
~ Thirty-six ~
“And you claim no responsibility?” I flared. “Do you not recall all you promised me, all you promised my mother?”
“Don’t bring the past into this,” he snapped.
“We are here now because of the past. Isn’t that right?”
He swung his eyes away and began to evade my persistent efforts to have him admit fault.
“I don’t have time for this conversation. I have a battle to prepare for. The Confederates will be here any day. They are coming for Warren. Rumors have been spread all over Savannah, some evidently true. Return to your room.”
I stood up and went to leave, but turned and marched back to face him. I was not through with him. I, for once, would have the last word!
“How dare you come back here Patrick Garrett Arrington, full of conceit and arrogance! I loved you, in every way. Perhaps more than I should have, now that I have a chance to know the real you. I suppose all that you revealed about my mother was a lie, and all that we shared was a lie as well,” I said disdainfully. “You took me and had your way with me, and had no intention of keeping any of your promises! Is that the kind of man you are? For I know Warren would keep his promises. He loves me, and if I marched upstairs to him this minute, you would see it for yourself. Warren would take me in his arms and shower me with loving affection and . . .”
Patrick took hold of my arms and demanded my silence. “I’ve heard enough!”
“No, you have not! You are a monster, a crazed man with a cruel heart. You not only betrayed my mother’s wish for you to look after me, to keep me safe from harm and protect me, but you also took advantage of my innocence and hurt me in every way!”
His tight hold on me remained as I stared unwavering up at him. He was angry and looked as though he would strike me at any moment. Regardless, I continued my verbal lashing.
“I wish I had never met you. I wish you had never set foot in Sutton Hall! I wish I had never allowed you into my heart. Then I wouldn‘t be in this predicament, and I would have my whole life ahead of me!”
I began to tremble. The tears that needed to escape stung behind my lids but I forced them back, unwilling to have him see me once again in such a hopeless state. I was not about to give him that satisfaction.
Patrick slowly released his hold on me and I backed away, turning to go. Before I stepped out, I hesitated. Something told me not to leave without revealing the truth about Warren and me to Patrick - though he did not deserve to know. I don’t know what provoked me to do it, to ask him to listen without interrupting until I was finished. Maybe it was the tiny glimmer of hurt in his eyes that broke through. Or perhaps, to my dismay. . . I simply still loved him, regardless of the affliction he knowingly placed upon me.
“The day you abandoned me, abandoned our love, I was shattered and lost without you. I know you loved me. Even now as you sit there glaring at me, I know you loved me. You must have. Since the moment you stepped into the room when our eyes locked for the first time, I felt something special between us,” I cried and fell to my knees before him. He sat stiff and uncomfortable and nearly winced when I lay my hands over his.
“At the church you prayed to God for forgiveness, and you shunned me. My heart was broken, and all I could do was go after you to beg you to believe in us and what we shared. To know that it wasn’t wrong or sinful. That God would understand and forgive. So I went to Savannah to find you before you left on the train. But I was too late. You were already gone. I was in such a quandary. I couldn’t return to Eugenia and I didn’t want to be with Warren. He wanted me to marry him, and you know I didn’t love him. You know that!” I cried.
He pushed me back and jumped up.
“You carry his baby, Amelia. Don’t you dare tell me you didn’t love him!”
I crawled over and strained my neck to look up at him.
“Warren found me in Savannah and brought me back to Sutton Hall where took me without my consent! He raped me. He laced my food with sleeping powders, more than once, and climbed into my bed. I thought I was having crazy dreams. Sometimes when he came to me, I thought it was you. The powders had me confused, delirious. It wasn’t my fault! I swear to you!”
Patrick’s face faded from sheer anguish, to utter shock. “He took you without your consent?”
He kindly lifted me and sat me down, then closed his eyes and inhaled a long breath and exhaled slowly. I anxiously awaited his response, hoping he would somehow understand and forgive my mistakes and at the same time acknowledge his own.
Finally, he opened his eyes and came to me, falling to his knees to hold me. I wept silently as he clung to me and begged me to forgive him.
“I’m the one who is sorry . . . I’m so sorry. That day when Eugenia came to me and revealed that she knew about our disgraceful affair, I was ashamed, I admit. How could I not be? After all, you are my much younger half-sister. She lashed out about how God would condemn me and you, that I was a heathen, the devil in disguise. I didn’t know what to think, except God would no doubt have me burn in hell for such an act. I thought I knew better, and I suddenly feared the consequences. But after I was gone, my heart ached endlessly without you, every minute of every day, and I longed to return to you, regardless of the consequences. I no longer cared if God would send me to the devil. I know how I have shunned you, abandoned our love. You were born to be mine, to love and protect. I realize that, Amelia. But I have failed you in every way. I have broken my vow to your mother. Now I have lost you and everything that matters. All because I listened to Eugenia and because of my quest for revenge against our father.”
I slowly guided his face up to meet mine. His dark amber eyes were drowned in tears.
“What do you mean? Why were you seeking revenge against our father?”
“Not now. Now is not the time,” he said and rose. “This is all a disaster. I have to think this through.”
I went to him and fell into his arms. I finally felt safe once again.
“I love you, Patrick, with all my heart. I was born to love you,” I whispered. “God planned it that way. Mummy must have died for us, so we could be together someday. And here we are. God will not punish us. We will do our part to thank him. We will be good and live by his commandments. This is God’s will.”
“I was wrong, so very wrong to deny you.”
He lowered his lips to mine and we kissed. And when our lips parted, he cupped my face in his warm hands and said heartily, “I will never forsake you. Never again. Believe me . . . please believe me,” he implored. “I shall spend the rest of my life begging for your forgiveness.”
“I have already forgiven you. As long as you keep me in your heart.”
“You are more than my heart. You are my heart and my soul.”
In all the days since Patrick left Savannah, I could
have never imagined he would return to me with unyielding love and a vow to be mine forever. Since I had divulged to him that I never loved Warren, I insisted he tell me why he had such resentment toward our father. He promised to tell me soon, in the near future, and asked me to be patient with him.
“Now is just not the time,” he said before we parted ways.
With a new hope and a renewed reason for living because Patrick’s love lifted me from my hopelessness, I was able to return to my room and think of nothing but good days to come. For he was going to take me away.
“As difficult as it will be and as complex the burden before me, I will go away with you. I will walk out on my duties and become a deserter. We will have to hide away, and live in the shadows until the end of this atrocious war. It will not be easy, and I’m sure we are destined for troubled times. I will make it work. I will find a way.”
He walked me to my room, dismissing my soldier escort. He quickly leaned into me, placed a soft kiss on my lips, whispered that I needed to trust him and that he loved me. Then he handed me the key to my room and stole away before anyone could see us.
Sleep had no claim on me for the remainder of the night. I lay on my bed with a lasting smile on my face. Patrick Garrett Arrington loved me! He loved me more now than ever. He was going to steal me away, run away with me and make a new life for us and the baby I carried. I no longer doubted in God, and I believed the devil hadn’t a hold on me any longer. I now trusted that I just might have a good chance at life, and that I wouldn’t die the way my mother had. For she must have died for Patrick and me. Finally, there was a reason for her to have been taken away so long ago. Her life wasn’t insignificant; her death was not in vain. Charlotte’s memory would live on; her love would live on through me.
That morning, I gathered a small bag and packed some essential articles for our escape. I went through my armoire. When I removed my journal, I sat in the chair by the window and began to read it for the last time. Page upon page I turned, as my thoughts were transported back for what I believed would be the last time. I tried to capture my emotions as I relived them in my own words, and I tried to remember what it felt like to be hugged by Daddy and the way his soft eyes would fall onto me when I was a little girl, before he married Eugenia. Oh, how I had loved my daddy. He was my world, and after he married Eugenia Norton, it was never, ever the same between us. There was an ache in my heart that would never heal.
When I came upon entries regarding Perry Montgomery, I became heavy hearted. His death was untimely, and so tragic. He was a most handsome man, and I would never forget the love we shared, even if it was for only a night - a night that changed my life forever.
I closed my journal and placed it on the table.
While in my melancholy mood, I softly caressed my belly and gazed down, wondering if the baby was a boy or a girl. I hadn’t thought about it before. Not even once. Now, with my newfound optimism on life, I longed to have this child. Would he or she have my color hair? And Perry’s dark eyes? If the baby was a boy, I secretly hoped he would be just has handsome as his father. I also hoped Patrick could love this baby as his own. In our hasty reunion, I’d failed to ask him. This child needed a father. I hoped he would take on the role without reservation.
I fell deep into my own thoughts as the morning progressed. I paid little attention to the soldier who delivered my small plate of food, or to all the activity that surrounded Sutton Hall. It was only the sound of a crash in one of the rooms down the hall that snapped me out of my daydreams.
I unlocked my door and peeked down the hall. There was a fight in Warren’s room. I heard Warren and Patrick arguing as punches were thrown, and furniture was toppling.
The lieutenant who guarded my door ran to help, and four other soldiers followed. Even Eugenia came to see what all the commotion was about.
“Your general is trying to kill me!” Warren screamed. “Someone stop him!”
“What’s going on?” Eugenia asked.
“Ladies, go back to your rooms,” one soldier ordered.
“I will not! This is my home! You cannot order me around!”
“Come along, ma’am,” he said firmly, and he took her by the arm. I stepped back into my room and closed the door, remaining with my ear pressed against it, listening to what was happening.
“This is my home!” Eugenia continued to yell. “You Yankees have no right!”
Following her outburst came hollering from Warren. The parade of footsteps went past my door.
“Amelia, Amelia!” he desperately cried out.
I cracked the door open and watched as Patrick and the lieutenant dragged him off. Warren tried to fight them, but the effort was futile. I let out a heavy sigh and eased the door closed once again.
~ ~ ~
~ Thirty-seven ~
Patrick came to me late that same night.
“We have to go. We only have a small window of time,” he whispered.
“I have to say goodbye to Hattie and Mammy and Hamilton. I can’t leave without saying goodbye!”
“There is no time.”
“Please!” I implored.
I was ready to go; I had my bag packed and my journal in hand. I had said a private goodbye to the only home I had known. I had no doubt that I would never see Sutton Hall again.
He reluctantly agreed, but warned me that we were in great danger.
“You understand what is about to happen here? You have to follow my lead and keep up. I know in your condition it will be difficult, but I am here to help.”
“Take me to Hattie.”
We didn’t waste another moment. Patrick held my hand and led me down the dark hall where, to my surprise, there were no soldiers guarding the rooms, and on to the back stairway. Once we were outside, he made sure the coast was clear, and we rushed to the cabin that Mammy, Hattie, and Hamilton called home.
“Where are all the soldiers?” I whispered as we stepped onto the front porch.
“I sent half of my men into the surrounding areas and a few back to Savannah. The remainder are locked away. Eugenia is there as well. I couldn’t risk her exposing our escape.”
“Locked away?”
“Warren is keeping guard.”
“What!”
“I made a deal with him.”
“Making a deal with Warren is like making a deal with the devil!” I exclaimed.
He looked at me before we entered the cabin with exasperation. “I had no choice. I granted him his freedom, freedom from certain execution, in exchange for our freedom. I made the Union men believe I was locking him away in the wine cellar while we turned the tables, so to speak, and locked them away. He is guarding them for exactly one hour. Then he will flee.”
Mammy, Hattie, and Hamilton sat with their eyes fixed on the door, as if they had been expecting our arrival at any time. I ran to Mammy first, falling into her embrace. “Oh, Mammy, I will miss you. Won’t you consider coming with us?”
Neither Hamilton, Mammy, nor Hattie wanted to leave.
“Don’t be crying for me, Miss Amelia. You gone and grown up, right before my eyes. You have your whole life ahead of you now. Gonna be a momma. Don’t be frettin’ no more,” She stroked my long hair. “I need to stay here, to look after my Jacob Thomas. And Hamilton, he stays here to look after me. Hattie . . .” She turned to look over to where Hattie now stood by Patrick. “Hattie will go in time. When she can make a new life for herself in a free country. Ain’t time yet.”
I eased back and briskly dried my wet face with the handkerchief Patrick offered.
“Thank you for taking such good care of me, Mammy. I love you.” I choked and kissed her cheek. Mammy closed her woeful eyes and subtly nodded in understanding.
I went to Hamilton next. He painstakingly knelt down and hugged me, careful not to squeeze me too tight with his giant arms. His eyes spoke volumes. I could see they were filled with genuine love for me.
“You take care, Hamilton. I won’t forget you e
ither,” I whispered in his ear, then placed a quick kiss on his scruffy cheek.
There were not enough words for me to express to Hattie the love I had for her, my only sister. Though we did not share the same heritage, family blood, or color of skin, she would always be dear to my heart and a sister, no matter.
I handed her my journal. “Keep it safe, Hattie. Keep my words, thoughts, and dreams a secret until we meet again.”
“I will,” she sniffled, and we hugged tight. “Until we meet again.”
“We have to go now,” Patrick said, and he pried me from Hattie. “There is little time.”
I couldn’t contain my sobs as Patrick hurried me on, guiding me so I wouldn’t trip and fall in the warm, dark night, to where his horse was tied to a tree waiting, saddled up and packed for our long journey.
“It’s more difficult to leave than I imagined,” I cried.
He comforted me for a moment. “This is what you want, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” I choked, “of course.”
Patrick held me close as I nuzzled my face against his chest, wetting his shirt with my tears. His touch was tender as he lightly rested his chin a top of my head. Then suddenly, he went stiff and sucked in his breath; he swiftly shoved himself in front of me, protecting me. Warren approached us, his musket aimed at Patrick.
“I think we need to talk,” Warren said. “Just Amelia and me.”
“Amelia has no business with you. Leave as you agreed!”
“She has everything to do with me!” Warren barked. “She is carrying my child.”
“I am taking her away with me. Be off with you,” Patrick replied, and without his eyes ever leaving Warren, he eased me up onto the horse.
“I will shoot you dead, Patrick. I swear I will if you don’t give her to me,” Warren said as he inched closer.
Box Set: The ArringtonTrilogy Page 29
