And the first time he whispered into my ear that he loved me, tingles shot through me. It sounded real, those words, for the first time ever. I threw my arms around Ayden’s neck and gave him a long kiss, which ignited a passion in him I quickly had to extinguish. Awkwardly, I nudged him away, and he took no offence. “I’m sorry. I got lost in the kiss. I promise to be a gentleman.”
“You understand, don’t you?” I implored, almost begging him to say yes.
“I do,” he murmured. “In time, right? In time, I can love you as a man would a woman?”
“In time, Ayden. I promise I will learn to love that way again.”
Ayden brought me back into his arms and kept his desires at bay. The night seemed to go on so slowly and when the sun finally rose over the horizon, Ayden smiled to me and said, “It’s our wedding day. A day only in dreams could I have ever imagined. Now it’s real, you are my bride. I am the happiest man alive.”
It was near noon on a warm, sunny May day when Ayden Alexander Dalton and I exchanged our wedding vows in a small, simple ceremony performed by the village Justice of the Peace. We had no flowers, no rings, and no witnesses. Only our verbal promise to take one another, to love and obey, for better, for worse, richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part, and sealed with a tender, sweet kiss, that proclaimed we were forever man and wife.
That afternoon, Ayden and I turned back the hands of time and became the children we used to be. Excitement and exhilaration won out over exhaustion and fatigue from the long night up in the lighthouse. We ran along the beach, our feet freezing in the cold ocean tide. Ayden ran to catch me while I laughed and splashed him. Seals peeked playfully out from the swells and spied us as we ran, teased, and taunted one another. Ayden’s smile lit up the shore, lit up my heart and sent me alive again. I couldn’t help but be thrilled, I saw nothing but his dazzling eyes chasing me, and felt his protective hands as he kept me from falling into the water as I stumbled with laughter. “I will always hold you up, for as long as I live,” he spoke while tenderly holding me.
Together we watched ships sail by, the sun glistening against the waves, and the seagulls taking flight. I didn’t want the day to end - it was magical, and charmed, just the way I used to dream my life could be. Ayden felt as I did; I sensed his joy through the tips of his fingers that traced my lips, then my nose.
“You’re so perfect, more stunning than when you were a girl. You have grown into a beautiful woman,” Ayden wistfully said to me.
I had been complimented before, so many times, and now only Ayden’s judgment mattered. If he thought I was beautiful, then no one would ever have to tell me again.
“Can I tell you how handsome you are, Ayden Dalton, or do you already know? I bet all the women in town pine for your affections,” I said, though hoping it wasn’t true.
“I wouldn’t know,” he answered with a blush onto his fair complexion. “I never paid much attention. I go to town to pick up the mail and supplies, then come straight back to the lighthouse.”
I realized I brought up something he and I didn’t have in common. I had been with different men, been on stage for wealthy audiences, traveled. I quickly changed the subject. “Can we write to your parents, tell them of the news?”
“We will. Let’s invite them here, for a celebration. Won’t it be wonderful, to have the family back together again? And Heath . . . we’ll of course invite him and his fiancée, Sarah.”
I didn’t mention my unpleasant reunion with Heath; I couldn’t bear to remember how badly I was treated. I was perplexed as to why Heath never told Ayden where I was all these years, but cared not to explore the reasons. None of it really mattered any longer. Heath didn’t matter any longer.
Before the sunset, we designated a few hours to rest as husband and wife and remained wholesome, again spent in separate bedrooms under one roof. Ayden and I parted at my bedroom door with a loving kiss and then I slipped into my room for a much needed rest. The excitement suddenly caught up to me - the thrill of the new life I was making on an island for which I dreamed of returning to for so long, and becoming the wife of a man I was fortunate to have truly, unequivocally love me.
That late day I remember falling asleep to sweet dreams, to candy coated images of our future together, woke with a smile on my face, and a burning desire to be with Ayden. It was a feeling of being lost without him for the few hours I dozed.
The sun had just set and the moon painted in the brilliant deep blue sky. Stars began to twinkle high above the warm glow of the beacon. Ayden was in the watch room. He hadn’t noticed me, and I enjoyed watching him pull up the weights, using the strength in his strapping arms and chest. I saw the passion for his trade in the way he attentively carried out each task. And, he did it with a smile, only his smile grew wider when he spotted me standing in the doorway to the tower. “Come and stand by my side and watch the night with me,” Ayden invited, extending his hand out to me.
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” I whispered softly leaning into him.
“Or with anyone else?” he murmured.
“Not anyone,” I assured him. Ayden knew of loves lost, my bruised and battered heart, and the brother who won my heart long ago.
“I saw the way you used to gaze with great fondness for Heath when he was doing a chore, or even just sitting and eating supper. I thought Heath was the luckiest boy in the world…to have your interest and I could never understand why he didn’t pursue your affections. In any case, I’m glad he didn’t,” my husband confessed and kissed my cheek.
My heart sank with the mention of Heath and memories of how much in love with him I had once been. I had no idea Ayden was so aware. At the time, I believed he was young and immature, incapable of noticing my benevolent love for his older brother. However, I was wrong. He was very much aware and possibly that was why he was so jealous of Heath. I thought it was over Heath’s intelligence, his striving to be something greater than Jasper Island. It became clear in his brief acknowledgment that my infatuation with Heath was the root of their rivalry.
“So am I. I’m glad Heath didn’t turn to me and ask me for my hand. Then you and I would never have been able to find true love. That is what you and I have, Ayden, true love. The kind my Momma and Daddy had, the kind that knows no rules, no boundaries. We have a love only a few are fortunate enough to experience, and I will treasure your love. You do believe me, don’t you Ayden?” I cried. My words came out as a plea and not only to Ayden. I too wanted to believe we had acquired such a gift because it was written in the stars, meant to be. It was destiny. I wasn’t meant to be with Heath; he wasn’t my soul mate after all.
I looked deep into Ayden’s eyes and saw a shadow, a small sliver of doubt cast in them that made me shudder. However, Ayden couldn’t tell I was aware; the slight hesitation, the diminutive misgiving, the subtle doubt that I would treasure him and only him.
Spring nights came and went without one single storm. There was no havoc, no clash with Mother Nature. Most evenings were clear and star- filled. Occasionally a small band of rain showers would pass quickly over, but nothing to threaten any of the passing vessels.
Days we retired to our quarters after breakfast with a sweet hug and tender, innocent kiss. Sometimes I was almost too tired to fall asleep, so I would open one of my dozen or so books and read for a while, causing my lids to finally weigh down and sleep to prevail. I usually woke before Ayden to do the washing and cooking. I quickly, happily, became to homemaker. Ayden then woke, had coffee and I lovingly catered to him. He loved my cooking, devoured my food, always complimenting me. “Your cooking is as fine as Mothers,” he said, after polishing off supper. Then, Ayden went up to the tower for the long night ahead.
Summer began to unleash subtle storms, none of which amounted to much. Thunder and lightning pounded the region and sea swells were treacherous but not so much so to sink a ship into the darkness of night. Both Ayden and I were always grateful for a safe, rather u
neventful night as we shared ideas and thoughts of things to come.
Opal and Edward wrote back that they were thrilled to hear our splendid news, and would arrive on Jasper Island by the Fourth of July.
“We will have a party with cake and homemade ice cream and fireworks. How much fun will that be?” I asked Ayden as I served him eggs and sausage.
“We will celebrate America’s independence and our mutual dependence,” Ayden joked. I playfully smacked his arm and he laughed so hard he nearly fell off his chair.
“And I couldn’t be more delighted about it, dear wife,” he said more seriously and kissed my hand as he stood to go up to bed. And before he made it to the top of the stairs, he turned and announced, “And, Heath won’t be coming.”
“No?” I gulped.
“Actually, I hadn’t received a reply, so I just assume so. None the less, it will be a fine celebration.”
I breathed a sigh of relief knowing Heath was staying far away from the lighthouse. Ayden and I didn’t need his endorsement and well wishes of our marriage, if in fact, he cared to bestow them upon us. Just the thought of Heath and Sarah coming to our island made me feel ill. Too many bad memories it would bring. No, Heath Dalton, stay far away from Ayden’s, and my blessed, happy union.
The Daltons arrived a few days before the celebration, and of course, brought along young Elizabeth. Instantly, as soon as their shoes reached the shore, I ran to them, greeting them with desperate hugs of affection.
“Lillian, how you have grown into such a lovely woman,” Opal remarked. Edward stepped in and hugged me, then added, “I must second that.”
I drew away and giggled, for Edward was a father figure to me and now even more special - my father-in-law. Elizabeth stood back glancing around, trying desperately to place the lighthouse from way back in her early memories. Opal signed something to her that made her smile. I was rusty on my sign language and couldn’t make out what she signed.
“I told Elizabeth this is where she was born.”
Ayden’s young sister had grown into a sweet, pretty girl. Her curly hair was the color of Heath’s as a boy and she had Ayden’s deep blue sapphire eyes. I knelt down and signed “hello,” which I easily remembered, and she signed, “Hello” back, then threw her thin arms around me and squeezed tight.
Ayden came from behind, gathered Elizabeth up into his strong arms, and delicately placed kisses on each of her rosy cheeks. She eagerly returned his kisses and smiled wide. I could see she was thrilled to be in the arms of her brother.
After placing Elizabeth back down, he warmly greeted his mother and shook hands with his father. I could easily see the pride in Edwards face. Ayden was indeed distinguished in his keeper’s uniform.
“How are things, Son?” Edward asked as we hiked up to the house where I had a lunch already prepared for everyone.
“Fine, Father, especially since Lillian returned and agreed to be my bride,” Ayden replied while staring lovingly over at me.
“And your brother, will he be coming? I haven’t heard word from him.”
“No, I suspect not. He hadn’t replied to my invitation.”
Opal wore a mask of concern on her face, but it quickly vanished when she saw the table set with all the food. “You did this all yourself? And the apple pie, your mother’s special recipe?” she asked while bringing me to her side in a motherly gesture.
I wiped a small tear that escaped and nodded, so overwhelmed with emotion, enamored with all the love they expressed toward me. To my relief I could easily see I was special to them, accepted as one of their own, remembered with profound fondness. I forgot how good it felt, forgot what it was like to be a part of a real family.
Choked up with emotion, I excused myself and hurried to my bedroom to catch my breath and dry my tears. Ayden noticed my hasty departure and came after me, to make certain I was all right.
“Are you ill?” he asked through the door.
“No, I’m fine,” I sniffled.
“Then why are you up here? Come outside. It’s a beautiful day, the food looks scrumptious.”
I opened the door. He was surprised to see me in tears. “What is it?” he cried and pulled me into his arms. “What has got you so sad?”
“They are tears of joy,” I sobbed onto his chest.
“Oh, I see,” he said softly and kissed the top of my head. “I’m glad that is all.”
“All right, I’m ready to go back. Let’s have a celebration, let’s share our joy with your family.”
“Our family, Lillian. Our family.”
I sat beside my husband while we ate and drank and talked about old times. Edward brought up stories of ferocious storms and incredible rescues and he even mentioned Daddy. Daddy’s last days at the lighthouse station were full of turmoil. Daddy was drinking too much and Edward was disgusted with him. However, it appeared time healed old wounds and memories were far sweeter than actuality. “Your father was an extraordinary lighthouse keeper, legendary in the industry,” Edward said and tenderly touched my hand. “You should be proud to be his daughter.”
Ayden instantly shot me a look of concern. Was I going to confess to my new family that my father, Garrett Arrington, was really my half uncle that he and Momma lived a lie as husband and wife, and I was a product of a horrific rape? It pained me to no end to have the truth always come to light, just the way the sun rose every day. However, it was more important for me to try to remember Garrett Arrington for the man who raised me, loved me as his very own, even after he abandoned me. I still loved him unconditionally.
“Thank you, Edward,” I said through my tears. Ayden signed, and the fret instantly left his brow.
While we spoke, Opal signed to Elizabeth so she understood what we were all saying. She was bright, as remarkable of a girl as she was as a baby. It was easy to recall the moment of her birth, when Heath brought her out in his arms after the delivery and announced his baby sister to the world.
Elizabeth looked to me while we conversed, studying my hair, my face. And after we finished with pie, she signed to Opal. “She says when she grows up; she wants to look just like you.”
“Thank you, Elizabeth,” I mouthed as she read my lips with natural ease. Just don’t grow up and make all the terrible mistakes I did, I thought to myself.
Later that afternoon, after cleaning up, Opal and I, along with Elizabeth, prepared supper. Ayden and his father set out for a row to the village for supplies. It gave Opal and me some much needed private time. She even sent Elizabeth up to my room to read a book, giving us a chance to catch up on lost time.
Opal had not aged much; she looked so much the same that I struggled not to cry. My return home caused such overwhelming emotion it swelled up inside me. Opal was always astute, saw my tear filled eyes, and instantly gave me a warm, comforting hug. “It’s good to have you back, Lillian, and more than that, it’s a pleasure to have you as my daughter-in-law. You know I always thought of you as I would any child of mine. When you left with your father, I was very depressed. There was no word where you had gone. We were all devastated, especially Heath.”
“We weren’t on very good terms at that time,” I confessed.
“And Ayden, well he seemed to grow even more withdrawn. Elizabeth cried for you for months. Do you realize how we mourned for you?” she asked as tears streamed down her face.
“I hoped I wasn’t forgotten. All the years I so wanted to come home. It just seemed life wasn’t going to allow me, planted obstacles in my way, preventing me from being truly happy. But, finally the day came when I told myself it was time, regardless of the obstacles; I was going home.”
“All I can say is we are all glad you did. When Heath receives word, he will be relieved too. I just don’t understand where he is. Edward has sent letters and telegrams with no response. I admit I am worried.”
I didn’t know why Heath never mentioned our objectionable reunion to his parents or Ayden. They all were concerned for me, had no idea where I had g
one. Yet, Heath knew, and withheld that information, allowing everyone to continue to suffer. And even after he learned I was back at the lighthouse station and married to Ayden, he still chose to ignore me.
Out of the need to ease Opals fears, I decided I would tell her and only her about what happened between Heath and me at his engagement party.
“He knew you, yet pretended not to? All that time he said nothing to us!” Opal cried. “How could he! And why?”
“Opal, you have to understand. I wasn’t in a very good place; Heath has always been rather judgmental. But I don’t particularly blame him,” I said sadly. “Ayden doesn’t know, and I don’t want him to find out.”
“You must be honest with Ayden. He should be made aware Heath knew where you were and that he kept it a secret. Even if it was to protect Ayden. I suspect that was Heath’s reasoning,” Opal assured me. “I don’t believe Heath would look down on you. You are like a sister to him. He mourned your departure, so much so we never thought he would recover.”
I studied Opals expression. She was solemn, yet insistent I understand the reasoning and the purpose for Heath’s vow of silence. I wasn’t sure. Was Heath only protecting Ayden, or everything he valued - his aspirations, his self-inflicted burden of perfection? What would he have risked by telling Ayden? I asked myself. When I looked into Opal’s eyes, I was certain she knew the answer.
Quickly she batted her eyes, blinking away the blatant thoughts in her mind, then she smiled, gave me a quick peck on the cheek, and said, “Let’s just enjoy our time together and not worry about the past, or Heath. I suppose he’ll come around eventually and when he does, will bring a suitable apology. That I am sure as the sun will rise the next day.”
Box Set: The ArringtonTrilogy Page 74
