by Susan Bliler
Inside, he snagged a kitchen towel from where it hung by the sink and mopped up his face before drying off as best he could before making quick work of clearing the dinner dishes and putting the food away. He knew Jenny was upstairs in the room because he could sense her now. He didn’t need to sniff her out or even hear her up there, he simply knew. Already, she felt like an extension of him.
Shucking his boots by the door, he padded in bare feet to the hearth. Stoking the dwindling fire, he got it roaring before he plopped down, reclining back on the couch to zone out as he watched the flames dance.
He was so damn tired, ravenously hungry, and torturously horny. He felt drained, and his limbs were growing heavier and heavier by the day. Glancing over his shoulder, he looked at the stairs knowing Jenny was up there probably laid out on the bed an aching just as he was.
As if summoned by his thoughts, she appeared at the top of the stairs. Still, fully clothed—thank fuck—she slowly descended.
“Hey,” she started quietly.
Turning to face her fully he responded with his own, “Hey.”
He watched her tuck a hand into the front pocket of her jeans and pull something out. Whatever it was, she stared at it a long time before saying, “I had these on me when I left StoneCrow. There’s enough for both of us.”
His eyes dipped to her hand and then back to her face.
“It’s the sleeping medication we’ve been taking.”
Bishop snarled and shoved to his feet. “No more drugs, Jen!”
She clamped the pills to her chest and backed up quickly as he advanced. “I know, I know. But, I’ve been on the run and haven’t slept.” She peeked up at him. “And how many days has it been for you?”
He didn’t answer because it’d been too damn many and right now he wanted those meds almost as badly as he wanted her, but it couldn’t happen. He didn’t trust her not to drug him and make a run for it, and that realization stung more than anything else. Scrubbing a hand down his face, he blew out a pent-up breath. “Take your pills and get on up to bed.”
“Wait. You’re not…you’re not taking any?”
“No.” He reclaimed his seat, elbows braced on his knees as he leaned forward and scowled into the fire. “If I’m drugged, I can’t keep an eye on you.”
“I won’t run, Bishop.”
“It ain’t that,” he snapped even though it partly was. “Monroe threatened to send Sentries and I ain’t getting caught slippin’. Besides,” he pushed up off his knees and crossed to the cupboard pulling out a glass and filling it with water. “Somebody’s gotta keep the fire going. It’s gonna be cold tonight.” He handed her the glass, and when she stared at it in confusion, he looked down at it. “I discovered that if you put just enough in your mouth to coat it, the pills’ll go down and not come back up.”
“Really?” Jenny breathed. “I’ve been letting them dissolve in my mouth and choking ‘em down.” She snorted, “Tastes like shit!”
Bishop grabbed one of her hands and closed it around the glass. “Just try it my way. Just once.” He held her gaze and hoped it wasn’t lost on her that his words had a double meaning.
Jenny swallowed hard and dipped her head in a nod before placing two pills in her mouth and taking the tiniest of sips. She looked at him for confirmation, and when he nodded encouragingly, she swallowed.
He couldn’t help but smile when her big gray eyes rounded.
“Holy shit! It worked!”
He nodded. “See, Doc. I ain’t always wrong.”
Her stare grew intense, and he knew she wanted to get into it again with him. He also knew those pills were gonna put her on her ass in a very short amount of time, and while he’d vowed not to hurt her, having to carry his unconscious Angel up to bed promised to be too much for even him. Hell, even now, Jenny’s perfect tits pressed so tightly against her thin shirt that he could see the outline of her nipples. It was torture just being in the same cabin as her. She was so damn beautiful it should’ve been illegal. Her dove gray eyes were set in creamy skin framed by jet-black hair. Her lips were so damn plump they looked like over-ripe plumbs ready for picking. And her scent… Fuck! She smelled so damn good that it had his dick going hard enough to pound nails.
“Jenny, go on up. Don’t make me carry you. I ain’t that kind of strong.”
She flattened a hand on her chest, and mock gasped. “Bishop Arkinson,” she started in a southern drawl. “I do declare, did you just imply that I am o-bese?”
He smiled. “Woman, you know what I meant. Now stop torturing me with your scent and go upstairs before I do more damage.”
Jenny’s teasing grin faded and Bishop’s smile went with it. Finally, she offered a quiet, “Goodnight.”
He watched her go all the way up the stairs and his heart nearly stalled out when she got to the top and turned to look down at him. “And it wasn’t damage, Bishop. Not to me.”
She walked away, and he had to clench his hands into tight fists to keep from following her up as he hissed under his breath, “Gonna be the longest fucking night ever!”
Chapter 12
Bishop reclined back on the couch. One arm was folded behind his head while the other rested across his stomach. Feet crossed at the ankle, he was the picture of calm. A calm that shattered when he heard Jenny cry out. On his feet in a flash, he was pounding up the stairs, ready to do battle. His thoughts were a jumble as they raced through his head. Had Monroe sent Sentries? Were they trying to take Jenny?
Crashing through the door, it rocked off its hinges. Inside the room, Bishop’s heart seized when he realized the bed was empty.
NOOOO! A roar was ripping its way up his throat when he suddenly tensed. Something was off. Nostrils flaring he drank in Jenny’s scent. She was still here!
He scanned the room quickly, and his head jerked to where the puzzle table and chairs that had been in the corner were missing. Senses on high alert, he walked further into the room, prepared for anything. Silently, he followed Jenny’s scent and the faint sound of steady breathing. When he got to the other side of the bed, he froze.
Jenny was curled in a tight ball on the floor. Naked, she’d made a…a…cage! The spindle-backed wooden chairs that had surrounded the table were now turned sideways on the floor all around Jenny in what looked like a wooden pen to keep her confined. Baffled, Bishop was shaking his head when realization dawned. What had she said before? “Life wasn’t easy for all Walkers. Some were treated like animals, caged, beaten, unwanted, or abused.” She’d been talking about herself.
He tried to tamp down the rage that burned inside him. It took a monumental effort to still the enraged quaking of his hands long enough to lift two chairs off the top of her homemade cage. He put the table and chairs to the side until it was just Jenny huddled in a ball on the floor. Shoving one chair out of the way with his foot, he crouched and reached for her when she jerked and moaned, “Don’t!”
At first, he thought she was talking to him, but it only took him a second to realize she was still out. Reaching for her again, he lifted her effortlessly into his arms and carried her to the bed.
He was so damn livid. Images of what someone could have done to her to force her to intentionally put herself in a cage to sleep tore through him and ratcheted up his anger until not even the sight of her naked body could bring him down. Because of the drugs in her system, she didn’t even stir as he dressed her and then lifted her again to settle her under the covers. Every now and then she’d cry out in her drug-induced sleep, and each outburst had his jaw clenching harder and harder.
Someone had hurt his Angel. The thought had such a feral urge to hunt searing through him that he made sure Jenny was comfortable and covered before rushing from the room. He needed to punch something so goddamn bad! Slamming out of the cabin, he rounded the side of the building before ripping the axe from where it rested in a chopping block before stacking a log and driving the axe through it. Log after log, he hefted the axe over his head and chopped an
d stacked until his body was slick with sweat. When the sunset and the sky darkened, he partially shifted so he could see in the dark and kept right on working. Fuck his imagination for going to the worst possible scenarios and fuck him for being so epically fucking weak that he’d taken from Jenny in the infirmary in a way he was horrified to think she’d already experienced.
Axe swinging in an arc over his head, he cursed everything. He hated himself; he hated the fucking Megalya, but Jenny… Now knowing what had happened to her, his wrath had lessened. How could he call himself a Walker and place any blame on her now that he knew what she’d endured? It made sense right? She wanted a choice because she’d once been a captive and hadn’t had a say in anything. She deserved the right to want a say in her life…didn’t she? Of course, she did, and that’s what stung because he finally understood her now and one message was loud and clear. She wanted a choice in her mating. And, she’d known he was hers and hadn’t come to him. She’d made her choice by hiding from him. She’d found him lacking. She didn’t choose him!
Swinging the axe overhead, Bishop settled into a log with a mighty roar.
Chapter 13
The next morning, Jenny woke in bed. Fully dressed and beneath the covers, her hands instantly lifted to cover her face as humiliation swamped her.
He saw!
She’d assumed he’d stay as far away from her as possible. Hell, she’d even locked the bedroom door to ensure privacy. Whipping her head to the side, she studied the door and noted that it sat awkwardly up against the wall.
Oh, God! She re-buried her face in her hands as mortification crept up her neck and landed in her cheeks. Her nightly ritual wasn’t intended for anyone else to ever witness. A throwback to her days in captivity, she found she still couldn’t get comfortable without being stripped and surrounded tightly on all sides by bars of some sort. Back home, she’d purchased herself a large dog kennel, and it’s where she spent her nights. It was her secret, it was personal, and for Bishop to know made her feel…more unworthy than she’d ever thought imaginable.
It took her an entire hour of self pep-talk and rationalizing before she finally felt brave enough to make her way downstairs.
With as casual an air as she could muster, she made her way quietly down the stairs. She found Bishop pacing the kitchen. Not prepping, not cleaning, not doing anything, just pacing.
The room was cast in golden hues from the rising sun, which had finally made an appearance through the swollen rain clouds.
Quietly, Jenny studied Bishop. He was clearly agitated; still, she hoped he didn’t want to discuss what he’d witnessed last night.
Bishop stopped and turned to her. “We need to talk about last night.”
Fuck! She was already shaking her head. “No. We don’t.” Crossing to the front door, she opened it only a fraction before a large hand overhead shoved it back closed. Bishop pressed into her back, and she didn’t dare turn around. Just the feel of his big body up against her own had her breath hitching and her heart rate hiking.
“Jenny,” he growled softly at her ear sending an eruption of goose bumps along her flesh.
A finger brushed hair back from her neck, and she shivered, biting her lip hard enough to taste iron.
“What happened to you? Who hurt you?”
She didn’t want to have this conversation now, she didn’t want to have it ever, but he was her mate, whether he claimed her or not. Besides, plenty of people knew what she’d been through. Monroe, King, Stoney. She’d told a few people, so it wasn’t like she’d never discussed it before.
Without turning, she answered. “Megalya.”
When Bishop didn’t step back from her or respond, she continued. “They captured us when I was young. They murdered my parents in front of me and kept me for experiments. I was rescued,” she shrugged negligently. “Adoptive parents raised me. It was a long time ago.”
Bishop’s head pressed softly into the back of hers and looking down, she saw him circling his hand around her waist like he was going to hug her, but he stopped just short. Jerking back away from her, he cleared his throat and asked quietly, “You ready to hit the road?”
Nervously, Jenny smoothed her palms on her jeans, biting back the disappointment at what felt like a dismissal. “Yeah. You?”
He didn’t respond, and when she turned to look at him, he refused to meet her gaze. Reaching around her, he pulled the door open. She could scent his trepidation now, barely registering above his anger. The look on his face told her that he expected her to shift and flee the second she stepped out of the cabin. So, she made a show of walking determinedly to the Humvee parked out front and climbing into the passenger seat. Sure, she could try to run, but why? There was no point now. Bishop knew what she’d done, and now it was time for her to face the music.
In the Humvee, she stared straight ahead and waited. When the driver’s door opened, she exhaled a breath and fisted and un-fisted her hands to relieve some of the tension that was plaguing her. Everything was happening so damn fast now. For years, she’d envisioned how she was going to explain her captivity to her mate. None of her plans were even close to the way it’d just happened.
Bishop started the vehicle even as the cab filled with the scent of his agitation. She imagined she smelled nervous, a little deflated, and horny, and wasn’t it just a bitch to be mated to a Walker who could scent her every emotion too.
When Bishop pulled onto the dirt road that led down the mountain, Jenny cleared her throat. “Look, I want to apologize for what I did.”
“I’m the one who needs to apologize. What happened in the infirmary…” His words died off as he shook his head, eyes rapt on the road. “I’m not like that. I don’t even feel like it was me doing that to you. I just…”
“Bishop, I don’t want to talk about the infirmary right now or listen to you apologize for what happened.”
“And I don’t want to hear any more of your apologies either.”
They both fell silent until Bishop chuffed a humorless laugh. “With me not talking about what I did to you and you not apologizing, it promises to be a boring ass drive.”
“Well ask me something,” she prodded. “Anything.” She hid a wince when she realized she’d just invited him to ask her about her captivity again. She hoped he understood it wasn’t what she’d meant.
Silence hung between them a moment until his hands tightened visibly on the steering wheel. “Tell me about this need.”
Thank God, she sighed inwardly.
Bishop licked his lips and glanced at her. “I need so damn bad I can barely see straight. When does it end? Does it ever go away? I thought it’d subside after…well, you know, but it’s only gotten worse.”
She knew exactly what need he spoke of. “We’re mates, Bishop. From what I’ve seen with other mated Walkers, RedKnife and Cindy, and King and Lilly, this feeling doesn’t go away.”
His head jerked around until his startled gaze landed on her.
“It lessens,” she quickly offered at his look of incredulity. “It won’t always be so fierce, but it’ll always be there.”
“With your research, you haven’t been able to fix it? Get rid of it?”
His question stung, and she hid how much it hurt. She had no right to the slap of rejection she felt at the query. After all, he was only asking her about severing something between them that she’d already been working to remedy. Right now, she imagined she knew how wounded he’d felt by her actions.
“No,” she answered. “I haven’t. The best I could do was stall it out. The natural instincts are too strong and could only be delayed, never denied.”
“Why?” he asked. “Why meddle with it in the first place?” The more he spoke, the angrier his words grew. “I mean who the hell do you think you are to keep Walkers from their mates? You’re not God!”
“No,” she shook her head and looked down at her fingers as they twisted together. “I’m not, nor do I want to be. I just wanted to give everyon
e a choice.”
“By taking it away?”
“I wasn’t taking it away,” she argued. “Without intervention, the affliction is instantaneous.” She snapped her fingers. “That fast. No getting to know each other, no formal introduction, just boom, here’s your mate. Would you want that? Wouldn’t you have liked to get to know me first?”
“Don’t know,” he gritted out. “I wasn’t afforded the opportunity.”
“Bishop!” Jenny tossed her head back against the headrest. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you. You have to know this wasn’t personal.”
“Sure felt like it to me.”
“I only tried this with us because I was a factor. I was willing to sacrifice myself for the betterment of Walker kind.”
“And what about me? I had no say. You willing to sacrifice for me too? Or just sacrifice me too?”
“No. I didn’t want you hurt. I figured if you didn’t know and I could keep you going on nutrient supplements and sedated at nights, you’d be fine.”
“I wasn’t fine, Jen.”
“I know that now, and if it makes you feel any better, I wasn’t either. I’m still not. It feels like my skin is crawling.” Heaving a deep sigh, she let her head fall forward as she lifted her arms and hugged herself. “My insides are so damn raw from my animals shredding me. They knew you were ours and they knew how to find you. Every single day I had to fight to keep from seeking you out.”
“But you did it.”
Turning her head, she looked at him.
“You brushed me aside like an afterthought. You went on each day knowing what we were while I suffered without knowing why.” He gave her a hard look. “And I did suffer.”
“I was monitoring you,” she interjected quickly. “Your vitals, your nutrient intake, your sleep. All of it.”
“No,” he shook his head sadly. “You didn’t monitor me. Your nurse did. All that time I thought I was sick. I thought I was dying, Jen, and I didn’t even warrant a visit from StoneCrow’s Chief of Surgery. You made me feel inconsequential, and when Stoney kept assuring me that nothing was wrong when I knew something was, I thought I was losing my damn mind.”
