“No, I only agreed to go with Roger after I saw you asking Brooke to go.”
“I never asked her to the prom. She asked me.”
“Bullshit, Liam. I saw you ask her. You said to her ‘You want to go to prom with me?’”
“Mags, I was only repeating what she said to me. She came up to me and suggested I ask her to the prom and I only said what I said to clarify she was actually asking me. You didn’t see the part where I told her I wanted to ask you.”
“No, I didn’t. Then you went to the prom with her, hung out with your new friends and then you went to her house.”
“I thought everything was over, Mags. I wanted to spend time with you but you were all over Roger and I don’t know…you were happy, so I backed off but don’t believe for one second that anyone else mattered to me as much as you did. As much as you always have, I will never love you as much as anyone else.”
“Was that song about me? The one you sang at the event today.” I asked.
“Yes, love,” Liam said, wiping rogue tears away from my cheeks with his thumb.
“Little buddy, huh?” I teased.
“You are my little buddy and so much more than that,” he whispered before he leaned in slowly and kissed me for the first time.
That’s if you didn’t count the first week we met when he wanted to practice before he tried to hit on the cheerleaders. Way before they started calling us losers. But now, I was starting to think maybe he made that up just to get me to kiss him. Not once but every single time we “practiced”.
His lips were soft, gentle and he was trying to take his time like it was a whisper of a touch. This was everything that I imagined it to be and I could feel the heat radiating from his body and his breath. There was something so familiar and comforting about all of it. The rich scent and taste of him wafted through my brain, infiltrating my nerve endings and common sense.
Liam ran his hand through my hair and I felt the gentlest tug, my head tipped back as his lips sought mine. The contact a little more demanding and brazen, Liam sucked in a breath and pulled back. His desirous eyes sought mine – asking, wanting, pleading. Before I could answer, he gathered me in his arms and picked me up, my legs instinctively wrapping around his waist.
This was it, this was going to be the moment where time stood still for us and I wanted nothing more than to pour everything I have ever had in the deepest part of my soul for him into this moment. Still holding me in his arms, he carried me to my bed and sat me gently on the edge, “Are you leaving?” I asked when he walked towards the door.
“No, Mags, I’m not leaving you,” he said quietly and shut the door before locking it.
He walked back to the bed with intent other than to just spend time with me, he wanted this moment as much as I did and I couldn’t imagine how hard it must have been to hold back and not say anything for fear of scaring me off but worse yet because he had nearly given up on me.
Liam bent down as his lips gently brushed mine before he unbuttoned his shirt. He slipped it and his undershirt off and let them casually drop to the floor. He took off his shoes, socks and slowly unbuckled his belt before unzipping his pants, slowly revealing how much he wanted me inch by inch.
It wasn’t until he was stripped down to his boxer briefs before he pulled me up by the hands so he could slowly undress me. I was at a loss for words and I didn’t know what I could possibly say in a moment such as this so I only did what came naturally to me.
I reached up and touched his face and I ran my hand down his stubbled jaw, down his neck and shoulder before reaching his bicep and finally to his chest.
My hand running over the fine hairs on his chest and Liam shuddered at the touch. His breath grew heavy and stopped his hands from undressing me.
“Mags?” he asked, his eyes searching mine.
“I just want to admire you for a second,” I whispered. My hands slipped into his short, reddish-brown curls and Liam closed his eyes as I leaned in to kiss them. “You have beautiful green eyes, why have I never noticed them before.”
“I don’t know,” Liam answered before he continued slipping me out of my knit dress and pulling my heeled boots off my feet.
When I was stripped down to my bra and panties, Liam pulled off the comforters and guided me underneath before he joined me in its warmth.
“We don’t have to do anything,” he said. “We could just lie here until we fall sleep.”
“I want to. You’ve believed in transparency your whole life and I think it’s about time we stop kidding ourselves and just go with what we’re feeling.”
“I agree.” Liam smiled before kissing me again. His arms pulled me against him as he explored my body with his lips. He took his time trailing kiss after kiss in a straight line across my shoulders; then his hand slid down until it reached the hem of my panties, pulling them down to my ankles and past my feet.
He pressed a hand against my hips and thighs, my body shaking with anticipation, “It’s okay, love. It’s just me.” he whispered in my ear before placing another light kiss on my shoulder and then on my lips. He didn’t pull up for air until I was breathless and then he reached around to unclasp my bra before tossing it somewhere behind him.
I could feel Liam harden against my thighs and I watched him take off his briefs before spreading my thighs as he positioned himself over me. He kept his eyes on me and then pressed his mouth against mine once more before pushing himself inside, inch by inch, causing me to moan as I adjusted to his length. Liam stopped immediately.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yes, keep going.” I moaned again.
Liam hesitated for a few seconds and then thrust deeper, completely filling me.
“Shit…” I cried out, my nails digging into his back as he wrapped his arms underneath mine, gripping my shoulders to deepen the contact.
I moaned a third time, unable to say anything else as he changed his rhythm down into slower yet firm thrusts as he filled me again and again.
I shut my eyes as he made love to me. If this was what making love felt like, then anything prior to this with Roger was just sex because nothing he and I did together felt like this. Liam started to quicken his pace into more desperate thrusts and I knew he was close to his climax as I was and as we hit our peak in mind-blowing ecstasy, I felt Liam stilling, groaning something unintelligible.
It was a few minutes before Liam rolled off of me, pulling me against him. As he caressed my arms and hip, neither one of us said a word for fear of ruining everything but I broke the silence first, “I’m sorry it took me forever to find you again.”
“It’s alright love, you’re here now.”
ELEVEN
I woke up the next morning to the sound of a car breaking to a stop loudly and I ignored it, trying to go back to sleep until I heard loud knocking downstairs and then I realized my parents usually went for a walk most mornings.
“Ugh, who in the hell is up so early,” I said glancing at the clock display as it flashed seven o’clock.
As I sat up, I glanced next me at the sight of Liam sleeping on his stomach, his arm laying where my body had just occupied. For a split second when I opened my eyes, I had this paralyzing fear that I dreamt the whole thing and that I also hadn’t dreamt the whole thing at the same time.
I pulled on my pajamas and robe quickly and then walked barefoot down the stairs as there was a second loud knock followed by the repeated ringing of the doorbell. Whoever it was, they were grating on my last nerve. Did my parents forget their keys?
“Hold on a second, I’m coming,” I shouted before I peeked out the window.
Roger. What was he doing here?
“What are you doing here, Roger?” I asked when I opened the door to see him standing there on the porch.
“Don’t you remember, you begged me to take you back and to come and get you, so I did. I told you I was taking the red-eye to get here,” he explained as he walked into the house uninvited.
&
nbsp; Before I could respond, Liam walked down the stairs in his slacks from the night before and bare-chested, “Hon, who was that at the door?” he asked just as he caught sight of Roger standing next to me in the foyer. “What’s going on?”
“I should ask you the same thing,” Roger said before turning to me. “Maggie, what is he doing naked in your house and why is he calling you hon?”
“He’s not naked and don’t call me Maggie. I hate when you call me that.”
“Mags, what’s going on? What is he doing here?” Liam asked, his eyes questioning mine.
“I came here to get my fiancée.” Roger challenged.
“Is that true?” Liam asked.
“Of course it’s true! She texted, practically begged me to forgive her and asked me to come and take her back. It was funny, she was drunk as shit, weren’t you Maggie?” he said slapping my shoulder.
“I said don’t call me Maggie,” I demanded again.
“What’s he talking about?”
“I, uh…”
“Was it the night of the party?” Liam asked.
“I guess.” I shrugged.
“Why didn’t you tell me you contacted him the night of the bonfire?”
“I was drunk remember? I don’t really remember anything that happened that night. The only thing I remember is being sad about Roger and I guess I must have reached out to him. Are you angry?” I asked.
“See, there you go, Maggie missed me,” Roger said smugly. “Speaking of which, why is he undressed in your house?”
“Go on, tell him.” Liam urged. “Tell him we made love last night.”
“You guys did what?” Roger asked angrily.
“Mags, tell him we made love and he can sod off. Tell him!”
“Hey, fuck you man,” Roger said stepping up to Liam.
It didn’t matter if years have passed, Roger was taller and bigger than Liam back then and still was as an adult. He would always be bigger than Liam.
That’s probably where his cockiness came from, knowing that he could do whatever he wanted and say whatever he wanted and no one would step up, stop him or put him in his place.
“Both of you, stop it. This isn’t a television show about who has the bigger balls.”
“I do obviously.” Roger chuckled as he continued to stare down at Liam who gave it right back.
“Piss off you prat. You must be off your trolley if you think she’d ever leave with you.” Liam shook his head and turned to open the front door and muttered, “Nothing but a chav…”
“What did you call me?” Roger asked and before I knew what was going on, Roger charged Liam and tackled him outside the front door as they fell onto the front lawn. They rolled around on the grass, throwing punches at each other.
“Stop it!” I screamed as I tried to pull Roger off of Liam. “Both of you stop it!”
It was of no use, Roger shoved me hard and out of the way that I fell backward, my right side slamming into the ground. Pain instantly seizing me and I screamed in pain.
“What in the hell is going on here?” I heard Jack shout as he somehow managed to pull Roger off of Liam.
“Oh my God, Margaret! My baby!” Janet rushed to my side, helping me stand up. “Are you alright?”
“I don’t know. I think my wrist is broken.” I winced.
“Someone tell me what in the hell is going on here?” Jack demanded.
“This jack ass made moves on my fiancée, Mr. Kellerman,” Roger grunted.
“She isn’t your fiancée,” Liam said wiping the blood off his mouth.
“Shut the fuck up,” Roger said nearly charging Liam again before Jack stopped him.
“Will you guys stop?” I shouted.
“Margaret, what’s going on?”
“I don’t know. I guess I asked Roger to take me back because I wanted to go home, in California.” I sighed.
“See, I told you,” Roger added.
I saw nothing but disappointment in my parents and Liam’s faces, “What? Why are you guys looking at me like that? What did you guys expect? Did you expect I’d move back home and just forget Roger ever existed when he and I split up and live here forever? We were going to be married! Don’t any of you see that? I can’t just forget about someone I spent six, nearly seven years of my life with?”
“What about last night, Mags?”
“What about last night, Liam? It was great and I love you and everything but it was just one night. It wasn’t forever.” I pointed to Roger, “But he was my fiancé. The man I was going to marry and have kids with someday and I’ve always believed that if I ever had the chance to get it back, I was going to take it. I’m sorry Liam, but I’m not going to let you ruin this for me.”
“Mags, I can’t believe you’re saying that right now.”
“Margaret, what is wrong with you. Apologize to Liam right now.” Janet urged.
“No, mom, I’m not going to apologize for speaking the truth. Liam, you’re always telling me to be open and honest and I am. I had no intention of staying even if Roger and I didn’t get back together. This isn’t my home, when will any of you understand that?” I pleaded.
“So that’s it then? Nothing that has happened in the past few weeks meant anything to you.” Liam shook his head in disbelief.
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“But that’s what you meant, right Mags? I can’t believe you but can’t blame you either. I don’t know you anymore.” Liam shook his head a final time before he walked home.
“Margaret, what’s gotten into you?” Jack asked, surprised by my behavior.
I refused to apologize for what I said or for how I was handling what was happening. Although I didn’t remember contacting Roger, I wasn’t too upset that he showed up. I meant what I said when I admitted I had no intention of staying in town and as much as I loved the night Liam and I shared, he must be out of his mind if he thought for one second that this whole transitional period in my life was going to end in a happily ever after moment with him.
I remember when I was younger my parents used to read bedtime stories to me before I went to sleep and they would each say their version of ‘I Love You to the stars and back again’ as they tucked me in. Then I used to say it back to as they turned off the light and I would fall asleep instantly.
I know Liam’s probably over there angry, hating me because of the things I said to him and I hated him for years because how he broke me. If I asked him right now if he loved me, he’d say yes like he did yesterday and everyone would think he’s opened the door to something real and he would continue to believe what happened last night was real.
Everyone was just so naïve and thought that just because Liam was brave enough and willing to love me enough that I was going to just drop everything I had and stay here forever. They seem to think that if I had the courage to love him back, this is going to turn into some movie and we were all going to live happily ever after. No, some things happen with some people and yes, I know Liam loved me but the one thing I learned in senior year was that sometimes love isn’t enough.
“Nothing has gotten into me, damn. Just leave me alone.” I shouted.
“Wait, Maggie, what about me?” Roger asked.
“Go back to your hotel room, Roger. I want to be alone.” I said as I slammed the front door.
I didn’t want to deal with another lecture from my parents and I really didn’t want to deal with Roger at the moment. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, all I wanted to do was to crawl underneath my blankets and shut my eyes and forget the world and everyone in it existed.
TWELVE
In the days that passed since the fight between Liam and Roger took place on my front lawn. Liam didn’t bother contacting me and I didn’t try and reach out to him. I wasn’t the one that needed to apologize if anything he needed to apologize to me for not only picking a fight with Roger but for also blaming me for the decisions I was making.
I needed to do what was right for me an
d return to the life I created in California. After a few days away, Roger and I had a long talk about what happened between us and said that he missed me and was glad that I reached out to him when I did. He told me that he wanted to reach out to me every day but never did because he didn’t think I’d want to hear from him and apologized for betraying my trust and assured me that he put a stop to all contact with the intern and that she no longer worked for him.
It’s all I ever wanted to hear from Roger and although I would have appreciated it on the day I caught him cheating, I wasn’t going to continue playing the role of victim so I accepted his apology. After I eventually forgave Roger and we both said everything that needed to be said and we cleared the air, I returned to our home in California but I didn’t go back to working at Roger’s company.
The one thing I learned from our break up was that I needed to have my own life here so I started taking a cooking class, an auto repair class, and I started attending a book club as a way to develop new skills, meet new people and make new friends but to also gain my own independence.
The book club’s founder, Chelsea Winchell, and I hit it off and she heard that I loved to write and told me that her husband was the Marketing Director of a small but successful media company and that he had been looking for a marketing assistant for a long time. She recommended me for the job and a week later, I had a new job.
I received the email invitation to my high school’s freshman reunion several weeks after I returned to California and for the first time, I was excited to visit my old high school and catch up with those that I wanted to see and maybe giggle at the failures the ones I hated, had become.
I was ecstatic that I would be going to the freshman class reunion with a plus one, had a good career and I was in good health and most of all I was happy that Roger was more than willing to fly back to Seattle to attend it with me. He asked me the other day if I was nervous at the possibility of seeing Liam and he was more than happy when I told him that I hadn’t thought about Liam once since Roger and decided to work things out slowly.
Every Day I Loved You Page 8
