by Leen Elle
"I was just thinking about how sad my life has been and then I saw you. I was drawn into your sense of good peace and gentle sleep, whereas my dreams are haunted of what never was. You calmed me for awhile, as strange as that may seem for both of us, but that's the honest truth." I explained, looking at my hands. Then I turned away and got a full look at the clock.
"Jennifer-"
"Oh! It's getting late! I need to wake Jaime up for school! You need to get ready yourself!" I cried as I shot out of bed.
"Hang on-" James said.
"I'll iron one of your shirts." I said, I stopped short. "Do we even have an iron?"
"I don't know, but hey-"
I tripped over James' bag and waved my arms for balance. I regained control of my body and looked at James in exasperation. "Breakfast, oh dear, breakfast!" I cried as I dashed for the door.
"Hold it." James reached out and grabbed the hem of my sleeping gown. He pulled me down to the bed next to him.
I sighed. "James, now really isn't the time."
"Don't freak, I'm still trying to figure many things out. Like your attitude, for example, it's still the same after a few days." He said. He looked into my eyes, probably hoping to find some type of reason for how I was acting. Uh, yeah, I'm not your wife, that's it.
"I'm trying to have a conversation; sorry if I'm not really good but I've been out of practice for years." He explained. His blue eyes searched my green ones, they seemed to pierce into my very soul, the guilt of my lies rising to the surface.
"I guess that's my fault, huh?" I whispered, my eyes looking away from his face.
"I used to get angry just by looking at you; I was so used to seeing the cold hatred in your eyes. Just by looking at your eyes…" He said, his hand went up to my face, and his fingers traced my cheek bone. His hand was surprisingly soft, not rough and cold like Aaron's. His touch left a burning sensation on my skin, the good kind.
"They say a person's eyes are the windows to one's soul…" I breathed.
"You seem so…" He was trying to find the right word to describe it. Describe what? My soul? My character? Why did I feel like James can see right through me? Just what was it about him that made me feel like I would be safe? I just wanted to pour out all of my hurt, just tell him everything. I raised my hand to touch his cheek, he didn't flinch as I expected him to.
When I first came here, he showed a hateful side, a side that was meant for my sister. Now that I'm sitting here beside him, I see that he's adjusting to the sudden change of something he was so used to. Whenever Jennifer's hurtful atmosphere is absent, everything seems more light, like he's able to open up and continue to live a life with his son. I could easily see the real person behind the cold hard shell he displayed the first day we met, well, when I met him. Now? I could feel the air around us turn from a cool awkward taste to a tender touch we were having between us.
"So what?" I said softly. "Unaware?"
"Fragile, small, delicate, almost like a flower, a rose." He said, his fingers making a trail down my neck; I held back a shudder of delight. His thumb grazed my cheek. "Why do I feel like you're someone completely different? Why do I get the feeling that there's more than meets the eye with you?"
Because I am different.
"Maybe destiny can make mistakes also…" I whispered, probably not even making any sense to him. What if destiny can also have a fault, a slip-up? Maybe destiny got my life mixed up with my sister's? To put it quite frankly, I felt like I belonged here.
"You're eyes are so different, so…warm." He said. My hand gently brushed his jaw. Why? Never in my life had I ever felt so beautiful. Being constantly told how worthless I was by many people who were supposed to be my loved ones, James made me feel like I still had beauty within me; beauty he was seeing right now through my eyes. My soul felt cleansed, my self esteem finally taking a proper direction.
"I can't explain this, because this is the first time in years that I touch you like this." He said, and moved his hands down my arms in order to prove his point. I reached out with my arms and embraced him. I wanted to loose myself in his warmth, I wanted to feel invincible and feel safe. How, in just a matter of days?
How has he become my sanctuary?
He seemed to hesitate at first, but slowly and gently, he wrapped his arms around me. His arms tightened around me, and I buried my head in his neck, trying hard to cry. I've never before felt so accepted.
"You smell like vanilla." He said. I felt his hand run up my back and touch my hair. I felt a rush of goose bumps.
"Yeah, it's a distinct smell isn't it?" I asked, smiling weakly. He pulled away and stared at me with his pleasing blue eyes. He traced my lips with his finger and my heart went through the roof. I felt breathless, my heart hammering painfully against my chest. This feeling was out of the ordinary, whenever I was first with Aaron, he made me feel unpleasantly nervous, like I was doing something bad to begin with; but James, his affect on me was astounding. I couldn't really describe this sensation that was completely new to me.
I leaned forward and he gently took my face in his hands, closing the space between us. His sweet breath hit my face, and my heart skipped several beats, as my chest contracted in a way that hurt so good.
"Just how did you do it…Jennifer?" He whispered.
The mention of my sister's name sent a hammer crashing down, obliterating our small oblivion. All the lies came gushing in like a waterfall, filling up in my chest; I could feel myself drowning. My lovely dream crushing down into a ball of nothingness, finally sinking into a well that's not meant to be. Why? Why does life hand me the one thing I ever wanted and snatch it away in the most cruelest of ways? If he found out about what Jennifer and I did, my small patch of heaven will go up in flames.
James would never forgive me.
I pulled away just as our lips were about to touch. I shook my head no as I quickly got up from the bed and headed for the door. I willed myself to look back at him, and immediately wished I hadn't. He looked back at me with an expression of great rejection on his face. I knew that look, and my heart went out to him; I knew what it meant to be unwanted. I did want him though, he was getting it all wrong, but I couldn't tell him why. I wish I could tell him, God knows how much.
The rest of the day we avoided each other, well, he mostly kept away from me. The sadness filled me greatly.
I know I wouldn't get a chance to be with him like that again…
Chapter 8: Evidence
The past week had been exhausting! Ever since our fight when I first got here, Aaron has been unbearable. We were both extremely stubborn, I will admit, so we both wanted the last word. He was still pissed off from when I threw away all of his junk. His pestering and our constant bickering drove me to the liquor cabinet. Not that I haven't had whiskey before. Today I wasn't drinking whiskey, I was taking shots.
I heard Aaron arrive home. I could hear his expensive shoes hitting the marble floors. I took another shot right as he walked in. I bit into a cherry, not bothering to look up at him. I took the seed from my mouth and set it aside, popping another cherry in my mouth after taking another shot.
"Since when do you drink?" He asked as he watched me. I filled the small shot glasses again, took one, and let the burning alcohol slide down my throat. I shuddered with satisfaction.
"Since I have to see your ugly mug everyday." I replied, taking yet another shot. I was looking forward to finishing the whole bottle.
"I think you've had enough." He told me and made his way toward my general direction. He reached for the bottle, but I moved it away from him.
"I'll decide when I've had enough." I spat at him, though my voice was already becoming slurred. He quickly shot his hand out, taking a firm grip on the bottle.
"That's enough, Jasmine, give it to me! You're already drunk!" He said firmly.
"No!" I cried. Some of the alcohol flew from the bottle, landing on our clothes. Drunk? I wasn't drunk, or was I? It didn't matter, Aaron was already pissin
g me off.
"You-!" He suddenly grabbed me by my legs and lifted me up and over his shoulder like a sac of flour or something. I gripped the bottle tightly and drank right out of it. Fuck it. My vision blurred.
"Put me down!" I yelled, a little late.
"I'll snap you out of it." He went upstairs and headed for my room. Damn! I forgot to lock it! Aaron opened the door with his shoulder, the one where I was slumped over, and dumped me on the silky bed. He then went into the bathroom. I took another scalding drink from the bottle and momentarily thought if it was healthy.
I heard the shower turn on. I winced, since I figured it wasn't going to be nice and warm.
"Damn!" I cried as Aaron walked towards me. I bolted for the door, but because of my stupid drunk self, I ran into the wall. I feebly attempted to open the door, but Aaron had already grabbed me from around my waist.
"Into the shower you go." He said, struggling with me, since I managed to get a firm hold on the door knob. He pulled and I held on for dear life, the bottle broken and the alcohol fresh on the floor.
"Get your filthy hands off me!" I screamed as he reached over to pry my fingers from the door knob. He wheeled me around and I glared into his stupid, idiotic eyes. He then gave me an unpleasant smirk. I wasn't nervous, but I was weary.
"I've been wondering about you all week, how on earth have you changed so much?" He asked.
I scoffed. "You still ask stupid questions like that?"
Aaron took hold of my face with one of his hands as he held me tightly with his other arm. "Let me taste those cherry lips of yours, just to see what it's like with the new you."
"What-?" He cut me off by forcing my lips against his. What was he doing?! I'm going to kill him, he is so going to pay. Aaron deepened the kiss by pressing his body against mine, immediately enveloping me with the warmth of his body, but I pried my lips loose and opened my mouth. I bit down on his lower lip. He suddenly released me.
"Asshole!" I raised my fist and slugged him on the nose. Good thing I wasn't drunk enough to miss. I knew it hurt me more than it hurt him, but the awesome satisfaction of hitting the bastard made it all worthwhile. He didn't cry out in pain, but he held his nose and grinned at me. Oh, if I had a gun…
"Come on, sweetheart." He said, emphasizing the word I suddenly hated so much. He carried me into the bathroom. The door that led into the shower was opened wide and he tossed me in there like some rag doll.
I screamed in indignation as the freezing cold water hit me, making it almost hard to breathe since it was so cold. I turned to jump out but Aaron closed the door and I was left to bang the crystallized door. He waved at me from the other side, that stupid grin still on his stupid face; he was enjoying this.
"Let me out!" I screamed as I hit the door with enough force that it sent a shutter. If I hit it hard enough I could break it. He shook his head.
"No, that will help you with your drunken state, and the smell." He said, wrinkling his nose, which was bleeding slightly I proudly noticed.
"I'm going to kill you!" I yelled through the door; he was lucky the stupid door was the only thing keeping him alive right now.
"That sounds strangely erotic, arousing even." He said, his eyes twinkling with mischief. This could not be happening. I turned the water off, now fully aware of my surroundings.
"Let me out…" I said evenly, my anger reaching its boiling point. I was soaked and I wanted to shove something down his throat and watch him choke on it with glee. I glared at him.
"You should see how scary you look." He teased. What has gotten into him? I let out an aggravated cry and threw my shampoo container so hard the door cracked. I got my conditioner and raised it over my head; Aaron opened the door.
"I hate you!" I screamed as I leaped out to hit him, but he caught me in mid jump and carried me to the bed. My red hair flew in the air, like flames licking the air; he grabbed a fist full of it.
"You know, if it wasn't for the smell of the vodka, the smell of lavender suits you better than vanilla." I had to admit, he was a fast learner. He quickly intercepted my knee as I tried to hit him in his nether regions. He held his hand on my knee for a moment, before he slid it down my thigh. I glared at him with pure hatred.
"Stop messing around, you imbecile!" I yelled at him, he smirked at me and placed his hands on the hem of my blouse. I released my hand from his grip and slapped him hard, but he didn't recoil nor flinch. Then I tried pushing him off me. His hands were like iron clasps, I couldn't tear them away from my blouse.
"Let me help you out of these we clothes." He pulled my blouse over my head and held me down with his. I finally realized how he was getting back at me; Aaron was trying to confuse me, to humiliate me. That's never going to happen, I do the humiliating.
"I'm not going to let you intimidate me, you bastard!" I spat at him. His fingers snaked through my wet hair and took in my scent. I felt his lips brush against my cheekbone. I felt a wave of revulsion sear through me.
"You have no idea how much I want to slit your throat." I hissed, my eyes glazing over with a tint of red.
He ignored me. "How shall I punish you?" His hands made his way toward my abdomen, and I noticed what he was going for. I closed my legs tightly, and anger beyond anything I've ever experienced coursed through my heated veins.
"I'm going to castrate you!" I screamed as I raised my head and bit into his arm. This defiantly made him jerk back. I elbowed his stomach and then I raised my foot and kicked him in his gut, high heel and all. He fell backwards off the bed, but not before taking a fast hold on my leg. I grabbed the bed sheets to hold on, but they easily slid off and Aaron and I were both tangled in a forest of black silky sheets on the floor.
I tried to find my way out of the darkness of the sheets, but I felt his hot breath on my shoulder and I struggled more frantically. My hand came in contact with his jaw, my arms tangled around his torso, and his legs were entwined with my thighs.
"Ugh!" I screamed, frustration seeping into my angry mind. I moved my head to the right and my olive colored eyes collided with vicious green ones. They immediately glazed over with this foggy look, frustration filled with something else. His strong hands found my face, and he crushed my body with his, pinning me to the floor, bed sheets still covering us. It was becoming immediately hot breathing the same damn air as this jerk.
"No one has ever told me no. I find it a challenge not being able to have something I want." He said harshly. His lips were on mine again, and I thrashed in his hold. He kissed his way down my throat.
"Oh, so suddenly I'm wanted?" I asked icily, I felt his horrible lips reach my collarbone.
"I don't really understand, Jasmine, but all of a sudden, the new you is sexually tempting." He whispered. He then pulled my legs apart and kissed the inside of my thigh, I gave an involuntary shudder, the same one I always give when touched on my weak spot. Crap, he discovered it.
"Remind me to jump out a window afterwards." I said coldly, but he focused on running his fingers down my pale thigh, I shuddered again. He gave a smug grin.
"You like that, don't you?" He asked.
"No." I said through gritted teeth, but he caressed my thigh and I closed my eyes. My body will eventually betray me. Fury filled me up quickly. I've been with many men, but neither of them ever satisfied me. Ever. Since then, sex has become so trivial, so unimportant, that I would find a rock much more appeasing. No! I will never fall prey to something so inferior as sexual instincts between a man and woman, not again.
I was much more finer than that.
My hand shot out and I dug my nails into the sheets and pulled. The sheets flew from on top of us. I felt the cool crisp air fill my lungs and I sighed loudly. I gave Aaron a death glare and wretched myself from him.
"You will never have me! I'm no longer yours to play with! You think I'm not capable of bringing you down? Try me. You picked the wrong damn day to mess with me! I'll make you regret ever laying a finger on me, get out! Get out!" I shrieked at
him. He gave me a long stare, I knew he was making a choice about something.
"No." He said.
No?! How dare he!
"I won't stop until I have you in my bed again, Jasmine." He gave me a mischievous wink and walked out of my room.
Again? Oh, right, my sister…
He stepped out of the line, I was going to make him pay.
* * *
"Three hundred and fifty dollars for both rings?" I asked. The woman behind the counter nodded. I took the two golden rings and ran my fingers over them. They were the wedding rings I found in the ash tray in the living room. I decided to sell them, Aaron and Jasmine wouldn't miss them.
"Alright, I'll take that." I said, the woman later handed me a check, which I cashed at the bank. This will help me with tearing Aaron down bit by bit.
I walked around the park until I found who I was searching for. A lanky teenager with horrible acne and messy teeth was taking pictures of some birds singing in the trees. He scratched his head and continued taking shots, trying different angles. How boring! I approached the helpless boy.
"Hey kid." I called. He seemed startled and nearly dropped his camera. He stared at me wide eyed, and he took a picture of me.
"Hey!" I cried.
