“I like coming here, because it’s peaceful. Whenever I need to think, I just sit here for hours.”
“It’s beautiful,” she answered, finally stepping back from his body. Instead of breaking complete contact, Tori took his hand and held it. The small intimate act was all she could give him back at that moment, and she only prayed he’d understand.
Julian grinned at her, and led her to the rock that he always relaxed on when he came up here. It was big enough for two. When Julian sat, he was surprised that she didn’t sit beside him, but in his lap.
Tori wrapped her arm around his shoulders and just leaned her head against his. Neither spoke, neither moved, they just took in the beauty of everything around them. Words weren’t needed in that moment.
Sitting there with her became another memory he’d hold onto and cherish. Julian closed his eyes and prayed to his long dead father to grant him this one boon. Let him find a way to keep the woman safe and by his side.
It was the only thing in life he wanted. Julian would give it all up for just one shot at having Tori find sanctuary in his heart.
* * *
The trip to the burial grounds seemed to take forever. Heading back onto the Reservation, or Rez as they called it wasn’t something they did often. After Timothy’s death, Callen and Ethan never wanted to go back. They just couldn’t. They currently had three houses there. Wyler’s was empty. He was planning on donating it to a needy family and Callen’s was pretty much in the same state. Anything that mattered to him was now in ‘Fort Blackhawk-Whitefox’. There were too many demons on the Rez, for everyone in the family.
Stepping out of Elizabeth’s SUV, they began the walk through the icy grass. Frost had come that Christmas morning, coating everything around them.
Ethan carried his bundled son, protecting his body from the chill as they approached his grandfather’s burial site.
Elizabeth carried roses in her arms for the graves. She’d come often enough to replace the flowers for a man she loved and only had in her life a short year. Never having a grandfather, she never knew what was missing. Now Elizabeth had been passed the torch of carrying the men in her life.
Wyler stood with his arm around his son’s shoulders. Callen wasn’t doing well already.
This was only his third time here. Once to bury Timothy, then to get drunk while in misery over his fiancée breaking him, and then now. The man they buried was his mother and father all rolled into one. Staring at the new headstone, he could already feel the tears threatening to overwhelm him.
Elizabeth dropped to her knees in front of his marker, and ran her fingers over it lovingly. “Merry Christmas, Granddad. We all came to tell you the good news. I’m having another baby,” she said. “I hope you’re right about me having lots of boys, I’m very fond of the men in my life.” Elizabeth took some of the roses and placed them at the base of the stone, and then reached around her neck for a set of beads. She draped them over the stone and then kissed it reverently.
Moving to the stone beside it, she placed more roses. “Naomi, I hope you and granddad are happy together again,” she ran her fingers over the lettering. “I love your ring, and I look at it daily and see you both together holding hands.”
Elizabeth slid over to rest in front of Catherine Blackhawk’s stone, placing more roses there. “Merry Christmas, Catherine. I brought your grandson here to see everyone,” she said softly. “He’s just like your son; sweet, gentle and full of life. I hope you can see him where you are.”
Standing one last time, she walked to the stone that marked the grave of Callen’s mother. Placing the last red rose on the top of the stone, she stepped back. “Thank you for the one night stand you had with Wyler. Without it, I wouldn’t have Callen, and he’s half my heart. I wish you could have seen what a wonderful man he’s turned into now. I hope you finally found peace, Charlene.” Elizabeth turned to walk back to her place beside the men. Standing close to Callen, she took his hand in hers, and squeezed.
Wyler went next, touching each stone and saying a prayer for them all in their native tongue. The words were sweet and poetic, and carried all his emotion. When he was finished, he went to his son and took CJ from him. “I’ll get him out of the cold.”
Ethan nodded, handing him the boy, and then moving to his wife’s side. The three stood holding hands, Elizabeth anchoring them both to her side. “I miss you, Granddad,” he said finally. “It wasn’t the same without you. Dad did a great job cooking, but it isn’t the same.”
Callen wiped his eyes.
“I know you’re watching us and keeping us safe. I now look for a sign when I think about you.” Ethan wiped his own eyes. “I love you, Granddad.”
He focused on his grandmother. “Grandma, I know you two are happy together now, and you both deserved it.”
The last stone was the hardest for him. “Hi, Mom. I’m a father now, and I completely understand the love you felt. I’d die for my son, just like you did.”
Elizabeth squeezed his hand lovingly.
He continued. “We’re having another baby, and it might be Callen’s, but he’ll still be my son, no matter what. We picked a really great woman, Mom. She’s amazing.”
Ethan walked to the stone and dropped a kiss onto the cold granite. “I love you, Mom.”
When he returned to Elizabeth’s side, she offered him a reassuring smile.
“Can I have a few minutes alone?” asked Callen, fighting the emotion. “I want to just have a few minutes to talk to them all.”
“If you need us we’re here, Cal,” said his brother.
The man nodded, releasing Elizabeth’s hand.
When they’d walked away, he knelt in front of his grandfather’s stone. “If you can hear me, Granddad, I need a favor. Elizabeth’s baby, I need it to be mine. All I want in life now is to be a father. I love CJ, but I want a child of my own to have my blood and to call me Daddy. I want to be as great a father as you were. If you can help me, please, I need it.”
He listened for any sign, and heard nothing.
Kissing the stone, he stood and visited his grandmother’s burial spot too. “Grandma, I love you. I hope you and Timothy are having a great time in the happy hunting grounds.”
Callen stopped at Ethan’s mother’s grave. “Catherine, I remember you from being a boy. You let me come to your house a few times towards the end of your life, even though I was the product of your husband’s affair. You never treated me like I was the mistake. I remember you made cookies the one day, and you sent me home with a whole container. I lived off those cookies when my mother forgot to feed me. Thank you for your kindness. Ethan is just like you and you raised a really good man.”
He wiped the tears, and moved to stand in front of his mother. This was the second time he’d seen the stone- once at Timothy’s funeral and now. Then there was icy ambivalence and now there was nothing but cold anger. “Charlene, you were a horrible mother, and you damaged my life. You threw me away and didn’t care about anyone but yourself. I swear if I become a father, I won’t ever follow in your path. I won’t ever be you.”
Callen took a deep breath as the anger overwhelmed him. “I forgive you, not because I love you or care, but because I refuse to feed the anger. You’ve destroyed enough of my life, and now it’s time for me to let it go and find peace. I’m in love with a great woman, and I have a career I love. I made something out of the boy you broke. I don’t miss you, but I do feel pity. You threw everything away for living hard, and I won’t be my mother’s child. I hope you have peace wherever you are, Charlene.”
Wiping the tears, not of sadness but anger, Callen stepped back. “I’m going to be okay,” he said to no one in particular. Then he felt the breeze and the beads began dancing as the wind chimes sang. There was his sign.
“I love you, Granddad,” he said finally, turning and heading back to his family. Once inside the SUV beside his brother, he let out the breath he’d been holding.
“You okay, Cal?�
� Elizabeth asked, touching his shoulder.
“Yeah, I am. Let’s go home. We have a football game to play.
Suddenly, getting everything off his chest made him feel more relaxed and calm.
He most definitely would be okay.
* * *
What the hell was she going to wear to Elizabeth’s house for Christmas dinner? The football part was easy; she’d donned a long sleeve shirt and was wearing one of her Army shirts over it. Camouflage pants and sneakers rounded out her choice, but dinner was a different thing.
Was it formal?
Informal?
Was she just over thinking all this?
Tori let out a sigh. “Julian! I’m in my closet, and I need your help. I feel all panicky,” she said honestly.
Julian appeared in the doorway and immediately was at her side. “What’s wrong, honey?” he asked, concerned for her. Rarely did she ask for help. It both warmed him and terrified him at the same time.
“What are you wearing for dinner?” she inquired.
Julian started laughing. “When you called me in here I thought something was wrong. This is about your clothes?” he questioned, trying to not laugh more, but it was hard. “I at least assumed there was a big spider or something creepy crawly.”
Tori gave him a look. “I’ve squished scorpions with my boot in the sand. Spiders aren’t scary. Now, the Blackhawk’s house for Christmas dinner is terrifying!”
Julian grinned and dropped a kiss on her forehead.
“Just tell me what you’re wearing, and I can get my bearings and be okay.” Tori stared at him, hoping he’d get her through this.
“I brought a polo and jeans.”
Tori took a deep breath. “Okay then I can do this.”
Julian was touched that she was relying on him. Even though she didn’t say she loved him, the mere idea that she was leaning against him in her moments of panic meant a great deal to him. It was a start and something they could build on as a couple.
She stared into the closet, almost completely lost in thought.
“How about a pair of jeans and this blue sweater,” he offered, pulling it from her closet. It was a soft angora and matched her eyes.
“Okay,” she said, taking it from his hands. “Thank you, Julian,” she whispered, then gave him a kiss to show her appreciation.
Julian ran his hand down her back. “Not a problem, honey. I told you, I’m here for you.”
She nodded and laid her head on his shoulder.
Holding her for a few minutes, he would have really liked to pull her into the bed and make love to her, but they’d be late and that would make her a nervous wreck.
“We need to get going,” he said, kissing her on the lips, when she glanced over at her.
“Do you think we’re really going to play football in the mud?” she asked, slipping into her sneakers. Growing up her brother had played with her, and she liked the game.
“Apparently, this is a big Blackhawk tradition. They even bet on it.”
Tori started laughing. “They aren’t the normal FBI bosses. Every time I get adjusted, they do something so completely normal it catches me off guard.”
“I stopped trying to out think Elizabeth a while ago.”
Tori took his waiting hand. “Yeah, that’s probably a really good idea.”
* * *
She dressed for battle, knowing the men were up to something. Just before coming upstairs she heard them snickering in the kitchen about the ‘bet’. Elizabeth trusted the two of them with her life. She’d give them her back on any given day, but when it came to football in their back yard, Elizabeth knew better. They were two of a kind, and when it came to winning they wouldn’t mind stacking the deck- especially if the prize was sex. The two of them were more than willing to step outside the lines and cheat, if it got them both naked and a win in their column.
Elizabeth wished she’d heard exactly what they were up to, but she suspected one or both of them had attempted to buy off Julian. That meant she couldn’t trust him on her team. If she was going to lose, then it meant on her terms. When it came down to it, she was faster than Callen, and possibly Ethan on a good day.
They were going to stack the deck, and so was she.
Heading down to the kitchen, she was ready to kick both of their asses. First it was the condescending look they were sharing and next they expected her to fall for it. It was lesson time.
“So here’s the rules, boys,” she started, hopping up onto her counter. “I’m pregnant and I’m asking for a little concession to our normal rules.”
Oh yeah, that caught them both off guard. Sometimes it was just too easy.
“Sure angel, what?” asked Callen, concerned. “Are you okay?”
Elizabeth smiled her sweetest smile. “Yes love muffin,” she answered.
“Uh oh,” mumbled Blackhawk.
“Since I can’t take a hard hit, can we tweak our rules a little? Maybe make it tag on the girls and full contact for the men?” Elizabeth looked at them both.
“Certainly,” Ethan said surprised. He was shocked she was actually thinking about the pregnancy and baby. “I have no problem with that.”
Elizabeth smiled. “Thank you both.” She laid it on just thick enough to make sure the playing field was leveled. “I just don’t want to risk it. I’m still early into this pregnancy, and that makes me nervous.”
Both men thought they got away with it, and that made her smile. “Oh and Wyler too. Don’t go kicking the shit out of him.”
Callen grinned. “Okay, so no beating on dad and the girls, and contact on us. I don’t mind you roughing me up, beautiful.”
Hopping off the counter she slid up to his body and ran her fingers down his chest. Going up on her toes she brought her lips very close to his. “Remember you said that, Callen,” then she kissed him roughly, holding him to her lips with control of his hair. Callen liked rougher foreplay.
Breaking away she winked and turned towards Ethan, going into his arms. The kiss showed so much emotion of how she felt about the man holding her. He was her rock and stability. When their doorbell rang, she broke away.
Wyler hustled down the stairs. “I got it,” he said, “since you two are mauling the woman again.”
“It’s more like she’s man handling us,” answered Callen, getting suspicious after her comment.
Wyler laughed and opened the door. “Welcome Agent Christensen and Mr. Littlemoon. Merry Christmas.”
“Mr. Blackhawk, same to you,” stated Julian, shaking his hand. “I see you’re ready for football.”
Wyler looked down at his sweats. “I am. You haven’t lived until you’ve played a game with the Blackhawks. Come on in. Everyone’s in the kitchen.
Once in the kitchen, Tori took them all in. Elizabeth was wearing her gray FBI sweats, and a t-shirt with a long shirt underneath. Ethan and Callen were dressed similarly.
Elizabeth welcomed them both. “We had a few changes of rules this year,” she started. “I’m pregnant and its touch when it comes to me, Tori and Wyler. You boys get full on contact.”
Julian grinned. “I’m really okay with that,” he said, winking at Tori.
Elizabeth smiled. “Oh, and also one more thing boys, we’re switching up the teams. It’s now Ethan, Callen and Julian against Wyler, Tori and myself.”
Immediately, Callen and Ethan protested, trying to convince her that it was more fair with Julian on her team.
It was then she had confirmation that there indeed was a ringer planted on her team. “Well then maybe you shouldn’t have tried to get Julian to cheat for you.”
They both gave him a look. “Thanks,” muttered Callen.
Julian laughed. “She just set you both up, and you fell for it. I didn’t say a word to her.”
Ethan punched his brother. “She’s going to pound our asses into the ground,” he stated. When Julian kept laughing, he looked over at him. “Laugh it up, but you're on our team. That means you get to be o
n the mean side of her revenge streak. We’re both about to get bitch slapped around in the mud.”
It was hard to not laugh at the looks on their faces, but Elizabeth was supremely proud of herself. Once more she managed to outthink them both.
Tori punched him in the arm. “You were going to cheat?”
Julian had the decency to look sheepish. “The bet was worth it.”
“What was the wager?” Tori demanded.
“Sex.” All three men said at the same time.
Tori was appalled.
“We may still lose, Tori, but you know what? I’m going to enjoy every damn second of inflicting some pain on the men.” Elizabeth offered her new friend a fist bump and a wicked grin. “Want to hurt some cheatin’ men?”
“Count me in.”
Wyler just laughed at his boys. “You two won’t ever learn will you?” He grabbed the baby monitor, and they headed out the back door, through their gate and to the piece of land beside their house. CJ just went down for a nap, and that meant they had a good two hours to get dirty.
“Ready boys?” she said, pulling out a coin. They did the toss and Elizabeth’s team won. “We’ll start off with the ball,” she said, handing the football to Wyler and giving him a fist bump.
Elizabeth and Tori huddled. “Tori, you take the ball, I’ll take down the first man that comes near you. Callen isn't as fast as Ethan is and that’s our leverage. Just run and stay ahead of him.”
They broke the huddle and got into position. Wyler went back to throw and Tori caught the ball efficiently, and headed towards the goal. Julian lunged at her and Elizabeth slammed into him, riding him into the mud. When they stopped sliding, she stared down into his surprised face. “That’s for going along with those two,” she said, hopping off him.
Tori laughed from the spot where Ethan tagged her.
Callen went over to the man lying in the mud. “You okay?” he said laughing.
Fire Burns Hot ((An FBI/ Romance Thriller~ (Book 5))) Page 36
