“I still have a lot of studying to do,” she confided, though at this rate she doubted she’d get any work done while they were in the hotel, schoolbooks or no. It was just too hard to focus, with Matt so close by. She knew he didn’t mean to wreck her concentration, but he did nonetheless.
He tore his eyes from the NCAA action on the screen and studied her face. “You look tired,” he said gently, offering her a shelled peanut.
Ravenous for him was more like it. He looked very sexy stretched out that way. “These days, I want to sleep all the time,” she confessed around a yawn.
He patted the mattress beside him. “Want to hit the sack?”
Go to bed? Now? Gretchen shrugged. “It’s a little early yet.”
“Hungry?” He reached out to catch hold of her hand and tugged her down to sit beside him. “We could call room service.”
Gretchen shook her head as his strong fingers closed around hers. She was aware he could see that she didn’t know how to be tonight. Aloof? Friendly? Distant but cordial? There was no protocol for situations like theirs—not to her knowledge anyway. And she wasn’t sure she was all that good about feeling her way through things. She swallowed hard. “I’m still full from the wedding dinner. But if you’re hungry...”
“No.” He paused.
An awkward silence settled between them. Not wanting him to see the desire building inside her, she lowered her eyes to the strong column of his throat and the downy black chest hair in the open V of his shirt, before returning her gaze to his face.
He gave her a glance she couldn’t read, then reluctantly released her hand. “If there’s something you want to watch on TV—” he offered.
“Actually, a hot shower sounds good.” If she really took her time, she might be able to stretch the shower out until bedtime. She stood and spun away from him restlessly. “Would you mind if I monopolized the bathroom for a while?”
“Not at all.”
Aware he was still studying her thoughtfully, Gretchen picked up her suitcase. She had packed for a night at Matt’s home spent in separate bedrooms, not a night in a bridal suite. Hence she had flannel pjs, a terry-cloth robe and slippers, not a negligee. She wondered if he knew that, as she disrobed and stepped into the invigoratingly warm spray of the shower. Or if he was expecting her to try to seduce him and make this a real marriage.
She sighed and tried to relax. But the only thing she could think about was Christmas Eve in Colorado. All the ensuing complications aside, what she wouldn’t give for another night of ecstasy like that. But that was a completely unrealistic wish. Her body was going to be changing soon. In a few months she’d be so fat and unwieldy that Matt probably wouldn’t even desire her anymore. Then their baby would be born, and they’d go their separate ways, as previously agreed. And then who knew how long it would be before she...
Gretchen groaned and rested her face against the smooth tiled wall. This was nuts. She was here with him, alone with him, married to him, carrying his child and desiring him as she’d never desired anyone, and yet they were planning to abstain from making love. To keep things from getting complicated? They were already complicated, and that wasn’t going to change whether anything happened tonight or not.
Okay, she admitted wryly as she began to soap herself from head to toe, so they weren’t in love. So this relationship of theirs was not going to last. Did that mean she couldn’t enjoy the present—particularly when her future might not hold any lovemaking with anyone at all? Never mind someone who could make her as wild with longing, or make her feel anywhere near as feminine, womanly, sexually satisfied and sensually appreciated, as Matt.
Acting strictly on impulse, Gretchen rinsed off, shut off the shower and stepped out of the tub. Quickly she toweled herself dry and pulled on her thick terry-cloth robe before she could lose her nerve. Not bothering to take down her hair, she marched back out into the bedroom and over to the bed. Matt was still stretched out, his focus on something other than the televised game.
His eyes lit up appreciatively as she neared, but he made no move to take her in his arms.
She shoved her hands in her pockets and looked down at him. She knew she was playing with fire, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. “Were you serious earlier when we talked about having a real wedding night? That I can say yes or no?” She regarded him patiently. “The choice is entirely mine?”
Matt’s eyes shone with anticipation. His gaze traveled from her bare legs to the curve of her hips and the gentle swell of her breasts. His eyes on hers, he took her hand and brought it to his lips. “I mean it,” he promised solemnly. “The choice is entirely yours.”
“And you’d feel that way even if it were a temporary situation?”
Matt caressed the inside of her wrist with soothing, gentle strokes. A tantalizing smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “Define ‘temporary.’”
Gretchen drew an unsteady breath as she swayed toward him uncertainly. “Today. Tomorrow. Until the doctor says no more or you stop finding me desirable.”
“That I can’t imagine, because you are one woman who is and always will be desirable to me,” he said softly.
“What if...I said yes for tonight?” Gretchen didn’t know why, but she felt obliged to test the waters thoroughly before diving in. She sat down next to Matt, the edge of her robe overlapping his slacks. “Does it have to be yes tomorrow?” Gretchen asked.
Matt’s brows knitted. “It can be whatever you want in that regard, too,” he said cautiously. “Yes today, no tomorrow, yes the day after that....”
Gretchen knew what her body wanted. What her soul needed. And that was to feel loved and cherished...now...tonight. “What do you want?” she asked, her heart suddenly pounding.
Matt’s eyes darkened as he hooked a hand in the belt of her robe and pulled her down to him. “This,” he murmured, as he delivered a searing kiss. “And this,” he said, as he opened the front of her robe.
And as he made love to her, their wedding night was everything a wedding night should be—tender, sweet, wonderful. So much so that Gretchen could almost believe she loved him. So much so that she could almost believe he loved her.
Chapter Six
Rap-rap-rap. Rap-rap-rap-rap-rap
A feminine groan sounded in Matt’s ear as someone warm and cuddly nestled against his side.
Rap-rap-rap. Rap-rap-rap-rap-rap.
“Make them go away,” she murmured drowsily in his ear. “So...tired....”
So was he, Matt thought.
“Need...sleep...”
So did he, Matt thought, but whoever was knocking was sure not going to stop. What time was it anyway? He opened one eye and looked at the clock. Ten a.m.! He awoke the rest of the way with a start. He never slept this late.
“Dad?” Rap-rap-rap. “Are you in there? It’s Luke. I was supposed to pick you and Gretchen up this morning, remember?”
Matt sure did. In fact, it was all coming back to him with a rush. The tension-filled wedding, the surprise of his children’s gift to him and the surprise later of Gretchen coming to him, telling him she wanted to make love again. And make love they had—all through the night—in many sexy, wonderful ways.
“Dad?” Rap-rap-rap.
“I’ll, uh, be right there,” Matt called back to his son as Gretchen roused a sleepy head. “Luke’s here,” Matt said, hating to disturb her.
Gretchen’s brows knitted as she struggled to wake up. She grabbed the sheet with one hand, drawing it over her breasts, and pushed the hair from her eyes with the other. “He’s here? To pick us up? Already?”
“Afraid so,” Matt replied. Reluctantly extricating himself from Gretchen’s warm, drowsy form, he scrambled from the bed and reached for his pants. He pulled them on, slipped from the room and went to the door. Luke was standing there with his arms crossed defiantly in front of him when Matt opened it.
“What’s going on, Dad?” he demanded. “I’ve never known you to be late in your life.”
>
Matt raked a hand through his hair. “I overslept.”
“Uh-huh.” Luke looked him up and down. “Where’s Gretchen?”
“Right here, Luke.” Gretchen stepped out of the bedroom.
Matt didn’t know how she had managed it, but she’d pulled on a white hotel robe and belted it tightly around her waist. Brush in hand, she was restoring order to her glorious mane of glossy mahogany hair. Her cheeks were pink, her deep blue eyes lively.
“It’s my fault we overslept. Have you had breakfast?”
Luke shrugged. “Uh, well, actually—”
“Matt why don’t we order something up for Luke, for all of us?” Gretchen continued, effortlessly taking charge.
“Good idea,” Matt agreed.
“In the meantime, I think I’ll shower and get dressed. Luke, I’m sorry we kept you waiting.” With a smile, she slipped back inside the bedroom.
As the door shut behind her, Luke turned back to Matt. “I don’t believe it,” he said in awe. “The two of you...you really...you had a honeymoon, Dad!”
They sure had, Matt thought. And now he was wishing fervently it had lasted more than one night. “What did you think was going to happen?” he drawled.
“I don’t know exactly.” Luke shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “It’s just...I had the feeling...this sixth sense...that this marriage of yours was more like a business arrangement. Like maybe she was going to be your housekeeper or something. But now... I can’t believe it, but you look like a man in love, Dad,” Luke said in absolute astonishment.
* * *
“EVERYTHING OKAY?” Gretchen asked half an hour later as Matt slipped into the bedroom to join her. She had already showered and dressed in the jeans and sweater she’d planned to wear when they moved her belongings into his house, and was in the process of pulling her hair off her face.
“Yes.” Matt watched in fascination as she positioned and closed the barrette at her nape. Edging closer as she fastened two sterling-silver Texas-shaped earrings in her earlobes, he continued, “Room service is here. I didn’t know what you wanted, so I ordered a bit of everything, including plenty of milk, juice and coffee.”
“Thanks. But I meant with Luke.” Gretchen stood with a smile and zipped her suitcase closed. Straightening, she propped her hands on her hips. “How’s that going? He doesn’t suspect, does he?”
Not anymore, Matt thought. “On the contrary.” Trying not to let himself get sidetracked by how pretty Gretchen looked in the morning sunlight streaming into the elegant hotel suite, or the way the powder blue of her sweater brought out the soft misty blue of her eyes, Matt unbuttoned his shirt, grabbed his shaving kit and headed for the adjacent bathroom sink. “He thinks we’re in love.” And I have to admit it feels that way to me, too, he thought, surprised.
Gretchen did a double take. “You’re kidding, right?”
“Nope.” Matt stripped off his shirt and slacks. “Somehow seeing us together this morning has erased all his doubts on that score.”
Gretchen followed him, her mood decidedly upbeat. She leaned toward the mirror and applied lipstick. “Well, lucky we slept together last night then, I guess.”
“Can’t say that I mind.” Matt grinned as he shot shaving cream onto his palm and then spread it on his face.
She added a hint of blush to her cheeks, then paused. “What did you tell Luke when he said that?” she asked with curiosity, edging closer.
“I didn’t say anything,” Matt said quietly as he began to shave. He rinsed his blade, then turned to Gretchen, drinking in the morning fresh scent of her. “I don’t care if he is my son. I don’t think the intimate details of our marriage are any of his business.”
Gretchen nodded her agreement and Matt went back to shaving with short, precise strokes. “I can’t stop him from speculating, of course.”
“Of course not,” Gretchen murmured.
Finished, Matt dropped his razor. “He’s free to make whatever assumptions he chooses in that regard as long as he doesn’t do or say anything detrimental to either you or me on the subject.” He splashed water on his jaw, dried it with a towel. His arm hooked around her waist, he pulled her close. “Or in other words, don’t take any gaff from him, Gretchen, and if he tries to give you a hard time—if any of my kids do—you let me know,” Matt said, promising firmly, “and I’ll handle it.”
He’d meant to reassure her. His words had the opposite result. Her face falling, she turned away.
Alarmed by the sudden tenseness of her shoulders and swift change of mood, Matt caught her arm and stepped back to prevent her from leaving. “You’re not upset, are you?”
“Why should I be?” She lifted her chin. “I mean, it’s not as if...” Her voice dwindled and she shook her head, her eyes glimmering moistly. She backed away, looking even more uncomfortable.
“As if what?” Matt prodded softly.
Gretchen swallowed. “As if we were in love. We know where things stand between us, Matt,” she said in a low, depressed tone. “We know why you married me, even if no one else—save Marissa and Cal—does.”
Matt knew pregnant women were moody. Sensitive almost to a fault. “Does this bother you?” he asked gently.
“It makes me feel a little dishonest, yes.”
“It shouldn’t,” Matt countered softly, searching for a way—any way—to make her feel better about what was going on. Maybe they had entered their marriage for all the wrong reasons. But that didn’t mean the relationship had to stay one-dimensional or practical in the extreme. They’d already started expanding the relationship to more normal boundaries. But he could see that alarmed her, too, now that she’d had a chance to consider things. Maybe he should just take it slow. Not push. Let her get used to their being together, little by little. Then who knew what would happen? Nine months was a long time. Long enough to fall in love, not just temporarily, but in a forever-and-ever way.
He slid his hand down to hers. “There are many reasons for marrying, Gretchen,” he said as they linked fingers. “Love is only one of them.”
“I know.” Gretchen had recovered her composure enough to smile back at him, although in a distant way. “I’m grateful we get along as well as we do under the circumstances.”
Matt could hear the truth in her soft, conciliatory words. He still had the feeling he’d put a foot in it, somehow destroying all the joy they’d had the night before in a single instant. It didn’t matter that his intentions had been to the contrary, only that a little of the light had gone out of her eyes. “Gretchen...”
Delicately she extricated her hand from his. “I better go out and keep Luke company, Matt.”
Damn. “Gretchen...”
She forced a smile, even as she backed away. “Don’t be too long. We both have a lot to do today.”
* * *
“YOU’RE KEEPING your apartment?” Luke asked in surprise as Gretchen indicated the three meager boxes of belongings slated to be moved to Matt’s home in Westlake Hills.
“As a place to study during the days,” Gretchen explained cheerfully, bracing herself for the first of many questions from Matt’s only son. “This way I can come here between classes and at lunch.”
“There wouldn’t be time for her to drive all the way out to the house and back,” Matt said.
And it’s a safety net, Gretchen thought, in case things don’t go as smoothly as we hope.
“Then it’s okay with you?” Luke asked Matt, abruptly highly skeptical and suspicious again.
“Sure,” Matt said. “With the apartment being so close to campus, the rent so low, Gretchen would be foolish to get rid of it.”
“Not to mention it’s still under lease for another six months,” Gretchen said.
“Oh,” Luke said with a shrug, mollified by her answer. “Well, let’s get this stuff down to my Jeep. If we all carry one box, that should about do it.”
“We’ll do the carrying,” Matt instructed Luke. “And we’ll put the
boxes in Gretchen’s car. Then she can drive me back to my place.” He cut off Luke’s protest with a glance. “You need to get back to A & M, Luke. You’ve got class tomorrow, too. Meanwhile, Gretchen, you look around and see if there’s anything you’re forgetting.”
“That it?” Luke said several minutes later.
Gretchen nodded. She wanted to take her CDs, but until she knew what kind of music Matt liked, or even if they’d be able to live under the same roof peaceably for any length of time, it seemed wiser not to do so.
“Well, then I guess I’ll be going,” Luke said.
He shook Matt’s hand and looked at Gretchen awkwardly.
“Bye, Luke,” Gretchen said, not sure what if anything was expected of her now that she was Luke’s stepmother.
Luke kept his hands on his hips as he nodded at her from a distance. “Bye, Gretchen.” He was out the door like a shot.
Once again, Matt was all business. “Let’s get this show on the road,” he said.
They were silent as Gretchen drove across town, Matt speaking only to give her directions now and again. Gretchen was glad for the lack of small talk. She needed time to think, she decided as she switched to the far right lane on the Mopac Expressway and took the Bee Cave Road exit. Making love with Matt had been wonderful. She didn’t regret that. But as for the rest of their relationship, this morning she just felt confused. Unsure where they were headed, or even how close it was safe for her to get. Matt was her baby’s father. She wanted to be close to him; emotional intimacy established now would be a boon later on when they coparented their child. But she didn’t want a broken heart or a marriage that was true and real only to her. And the closer she allowed herself to get to Matt, the more she flirted with danger in that regard.
Matt interrupted her thoughts. “You’ll need to turn here on Lost Creek Drive,” he said.
Several more turns followed, as he directed her around the elegant subdivision in far west Austin. Finally they were there.
Daddy Christmas Page 9
