by Angela Foxxe
“I don’t understand.”
“Sabrina, you’re the only one who has survived reprogramming. And you’re the only one who knows where the camp is.”
“I don’t remember.”
“I know,” he said. “But somehow, we’re going to have to find a way to break down that wall and get your memories back. It’s the only way to save our children and their mothers, and to bring them home.”
CHAPTER 13
Sabrina watched out the window as they pulled into Paul’s driveway, parking in front of the house which would be more aptly called a mansion.
He turned off the engine and looked at her.
“You’ve been quiet for almost an hour. Are you alright? I mean, I know you’re not alright, but are you going to be?”
“Does Annie know that it’s me?” she asked, not bothering to answer his question.
“She does.”
“Why didn’t she say anything?”
“What was she going to say? ‘Hey cousin, nice to see you again’? Would you believe her?”
“I guess not. And she doesn’t know where they took me?”
“No. She thought you were institutionalized. She didn’t even recognize you when you started working for Tom Decker. She was young. You can’t expect-”
“I don’t expect anything from her. We were both just kids. She’s not responsible for what her father did.”
“And you’re not responsible for the things that your uncle programmed you to do.”
“He’s not my uncle. He may be by blood, but he’s not family. Family is love, and there’s no love when Tom Decker is involved.”
“Let’s go inside. I have an idea, and I am hoping that it will help you unlock your memories.”
“What is it?”
“It’s better to show you. Just trust me.”
“I’ll try,” she said. “It’s hard to trust anyone when you discover that your entire life has been a lie.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I know it isn’t. But I was waiting for the right time to step in and get you out of there, and I think I waited too long.”
“How long have you been waiting?”
“Since I found you after my first dream. Our pride was already watching you, waiting for the right time to step in.”
“What was stopping them?”
“At first, they couldn’t find you. When news of Aria’s death came, no one knew where you had been taken. By the time they found out that you were with him, Tom Decker had already announced that you were institutionalized. They couldn’t get the information they needed to find you, and as it turns out, you weren’t institutionalized, so that information would have been pointless anyway.”
She was following him through the house, up the stairs and down a long hallway. She hadn’t been anywhere besides the master bedroom and the dining room, and she hadn’t noticed that the hall went down so far and around the corner.
He opened the door at the end of the hall, standing there and watching her face as she walked in.
Her jaw dropped open when she walked into the large room. The walls were covered in a gray, carpet type substance, the floor carpet soft and thick. But it wasn’t the carpet she was looking at, or the soundproofing on the walls. In the middle of the room stood a baby grand piano and next to that, a cello sitting on a stand, and a violin.
Sabrina looked at Paul, her mouth dropped open.
“How long have you had this room?” she asked.
“Three years.”
“Why?”
“Because I had a dream, and in that dream, I saw you, onstage with your parents, and I knew that this was somehow the answer to a very important question. I didn’t know what the question was at the time, but I knew that creating this room for you was absolutely the answer.”
“I can’t believe you have a piano, cello, and violin just sitting in this room on display.”
“They’re not a piano, cello, and violin.”
She faltered.
“Do you mean?”
“They’re your parents’ instruments and the violin is yours. I had new strings put on, but they are the same brand that were already on there.”
He went around the back of the piano and returned with a pair of cordless headphones.
“Here,” he said, handing them to her. “If you turn them on, you can listen and play along.”
“What am I listening to?” she asked, putting the headphones on after sliding the power switch.
He went into a little sound booth that Sabrina hadn’t seen behind the piano, fiddling with the sound board for a moment. Music suddenly filled the headphones, and she closed her eyes against the tears that threatened. He returned, coming to stand in front of her. She couldn’t see him, but she felt him touch her hand. She took his hand, holding on tightly and squeezing her eyes against the pain that overwhelmed her.
“This is us,” she said, her voice shaking as she listened to the haunting music.
“It is,” he confirmed. “It’s the tour set you did the year you were twelve. I can cut out the violin track so you can play along.”
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She felt his thumb gently wipe a single tear from her cheek, and then she heard him going into the sound booth again.
She busied herself getting the violin ready, using a vibration detecting tuner to check each string and running rosin over her bow while he worked at the board until the violin track dropped off and only the deep, soulful sounds of the cello and the piano accompaniment remained. Somehow, only hearing her parents playing made everything harder.
She took a deep breath, holding up the violin and touching the bow to the strings. The microphone in front of her picked up her sound, adding it to the song in her headphones. She started slowly, struggling to fill in the blanks. Her eyes were focused on her fingers, taking her out of the moment and making it hard to concentrate.
“Don’t try so hard,” she heard Paul’s voice come in over the headset. “Just let it happen.”
The lights in the room lowered, and she was suddenly transported to a different time. Her fingers flew over the fingerboard, her bow moving of its own volition as the studio dropped away and was replaced by a stage in her mind’s eye.
The song swirled around her, tearing at her heart and feeding her soul all at once. She played through the end of the song, and the next and the next, until her fingers ached and her eyes ran out of tears.
She didn’t have a flash of memory, or a sudden epiphany. But she felt at home in that moment, more right in her own skin than she ever had in recent memory. She swayed with her eyes closed, the awkwardness of first picking up the instrument gone as if she had never stopped.
Her notes flowed effortlessly into each track. She couldn’t name the songs, but she knew them by heart. With her eyes closed, violin in hand, rocking with the beat, she could almost feel her parents there, even though she couldn’t see their faces. She wanted to open her eyes, but she knew that the instant she did, the spell would be broken. For now, she could feel her parents with her, in that room, and that was what she would cling to.
By the time the CD ended she was exhausted, emotionally and physically. She slid down the leg of the piano, eyes still closed, and sat cross legged on the floor. She wrapped her arms around her instrument, hugging it close and sobbing fresh, hot tears onto her bare arm in the dark room.
She half expected Paul to come around and take her in his arms, but she was relieved when he didn’t. She didn’t feel alone in that moment. For the first time in a long time, she felt whole and complete.
Sabrina remained there for the longest time, just letting the feelings wash over her in waves as they came. She didn’t try to make herself remember, didn’t look for answers that weren’t there. She just breathed.
It felt like at least an hour had gone by when she finally opened her eyes and sat up. Placing the violin on its floor stand by the cello, she reac
hed out and touched the face of the cello. She ran her fingers over the polished wood, the cool feel of it a balm on her sore fingers. Looking at the strings, she could tell that Paul hadn’t had the cello restrung, and for that, she was grateful. She could even see the shiny spots on the fingerboard where her father’s fingers had pressed over and over, wearing down the wood, over time.
She stood, looking around the room and hanging the headphones back on the charger stand on a table behind the piano.
The sound booth was empty and she was pretty sure it had been the entire time. She was thankful that Paul had the presence of mind to give her those moments, to do with what she would and what she could. Her lost memory weighed on her so heavily that it was almost unbearable. The time she had spent in the studio had lifted that weight. Though she didn’t remember anything new, she was certain that the memories would come soon.
They had to.
She wiped the rosin off her strings, putting everything away neatly and walking out of the room. Closing the door behind her, she felt a little thrill she hadn’t expected. She had been on the fence about living in The Zone, but if she was honest with herself, there was nowhere else that she could live. She was on Decker’s list, which meant she would constantly be looking over her shoulder and worrying about being killed.
And then, there was Paul. The mere thought of leaving him behind sent her into a panic. She was really surprised that he’d sneaked out of the music room without her noticing, but she had been a mess. Between the headphones and the fact that the music and playing had taken Sabrina back to a place she didn’t know she had missed so deeply, she was not the least bit surprised that he was able to leave unnoticed.
She walked down the hall, heading for the master bedroom and a hot bath that she desperately needed. Her body was sore, her heart even more so. She needed a bath full of bubbles and a good night’s sleep. Hopefully then, she would start to recover something. If not, they would have to try something different. If Paul was right about what Decker was planning, they didn’t have a whole lot of time to get what they needed to done before Decker’s men descended upon the borders and attempted to attack. The pride was ready, but Decker always had a plan B, and that terrified Sabrina.
There was a note on the freshly made bed, the neat handwriting flawless.
Sabrina,
I’ve gone to check on the ranch and make the rounds. I left you a surprise in the hot tub. I’ll be late. Don’t wait up.
He signed it simply with his name, no declaration of love with words she wasn’t ready to hear, and nothing else. Just his request that she take care of herself and not worry about him.
“Done and done,” she said out loud, taking her dress off and dropping it into the hamper in the bathroom.
There was a platter on ledge of the hot tub, a tray of chocolate covered strawberries and a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon. She poured the deep red wine into the glass while the tub filled, fragrant bubbles covering the top of the water.
She set the bottle on the counter out of reach and set the glass on the silver tray. Stepping into the hot water, she let out a huge shuddering sigh. It had been a long, stressful day, and she was ready for it to end. This was a fitting end to a day full of ups and downs, and she smiled at the memories the strawberries brought back in spite of herself. She would never forget the night she spent with Paul in the hotel, even if it had only happened because she had been undercover. They’d slept together since then, but their first time was magical, and she would cherish those memories for a long time.
By the time she finished the wine and the strawberries, the water was starting to cool and all the bubbles were gone. She stood, glad that the single glass of wine had relaxed her but hadn’t made her unsteady on her feet. She was looking forward to slipping into bed and enjoying the blissful sleep a good cry, a warm bath, and a glass of wine could give. The chocolate covered strawberries had been the icing on the cake.
She opened the walk-in closet door in the bathroom, surprised to see her purchases from the morning already hung neatly in the area closest to the sliding door. She walked all the way in, noting the dresser that stood next to her hanging clothes with clear plastic shoe boxes stacked on top. The shoes were hers, six pairs at Paul’s insistence, even though she was comfortable with her combat boots and just a pair of running shoes.
Thanks to Paul, she now had a pair of paddock boots, a pair of running shoes, one pair of heels that she just couldn’t pass up and an assortment of flats that were strikingly feminine. She had purchased mostly jeans and blouses, though Paul had convinced her to buy a few dresses. He wouldn’t let it go, so she had finally given in and purchased a dress that had caught her eye, and some more that were feminine and flirty and made her feel beautiful.
The rest of her purchases had centered around necessities, though Paul had added a few of his own picks at the register. The shopping bags were gone and it looked like the tags had been removed. She made a mental note to find out who Hattie was and thank the woman for treating her so kindly. Her clean clothes and now her new clothes had appeared as if by magic, and Sabrina knew that was no small feat in a house this size. She was sure that Hattie had a lot on her plate, and she wanted to make sure that the woman knew that she was appreciated.
Sabrina opened the top drawer, pulling out a new pair of satin panties. In the bottom drawer, she found the pajamas she had chosen, yellow satin pants and a matching shirt that felt weightless. She sighed when the cool fabric caressed her skin.
She made her way to the bed, slipping in between the sheets and moving around until she found the sweet spot. Her eyes were already heavy, the wine doing its job and making her more than a little drowsy. She turned on her side, back to the wall and facing the door and she always did, pulling the comforter tighter around her shoulders and wishing that Paul was here, holding her in his arms.
She had pushed him away in the music room and in the truck, her rigid body language making her feelings more than clear. But now that she had cried every last teardrop from her body, and the hot water had washed away the sick feeling from finding out that her enemy was also family, she longed to feel the heat of his body next to hers. She knew that she would wake up next to him in the morning, though, so it was a good compromise.
She looked around for a clock, but found none and decided it didn’t matter. She was going to bed early again, but this time, she was nowhere near as exhausted as after their flight through the wilderness. It felt like a lifetime ago, even though it was only just over a day ago. So much had changed in such a short time. She had changed in such a short time.
Struggling to keep her eyes open, she fought sleep until the bitter end, going over the day and smiling at the memories she had made with Paul. He was a good, caring, sweet man. He was a much better leader than Decker had ever been, and it showed. She wasn’t sure what his role was exactly, but everyone looked up to Paul and it was obvious that everyone they encountered respected him greatly. He had a friendly, easy manner that people were drawn to, and Sabrina didn’t doubt that everyone they met today adored Paul.
She was drifting into darkness when her thoughts turned to Annie. She couldn’t believe that she had been so close to her own flesh and blood without having any idea that Annie was family. She had to remember to ask Paul to take her to see Annie again soon so the women could get to know each other better. She knew that Annie didn’t know where the families were being held, but maybe she could share some things that would jog Sabrina’s memory.
It was her final thought before she fell asleep, her face going slack and her eyes fluttering shut. This time, when she tried to open them, they stayed closed and she lost herself in the blissful, heavy sleep she had known would come her way.
CHAPTER 14
Tiny hands out in front of her in the darkness, a barefoot and frightened Sabrina ran through the grass in the darkness. She could hear the men in the distance, calling out to each other through the opened windows of the facility the workers
called Hope House. The broad, open windows and spaces gave the illusion of freedom, but the bars on the window told a different story. It was through one of those bars that Sabrina had made her escape, squeezing her thin frame through them, scraping her ribs and stomach when she had given herself a good shove with her feet to get the rest of the way through.
She had hit the ground running, the thick grass muted the sounds of her feet as she took off toward the mountains. She had almost made it to the tree line when she heard a shout behind her.
“I think I see her!”
She pushed herself harder, bursting through the tree line and running as fast as she could in the dark, hands to block the branches, feeling her way around trees. The tree line opened up in a few hundred yards and gave way to a pea gravel road just wide enough for two cars to pass each other. She ran down the road, ignoring the pain of the pebbles that bit into the soles of her feet.
She could see the dock and the lake in the distance, a little dingy at the end of the dock, tied loosely, it’s tiny motor up out of the water and propped on the back of the boat.
She ran down the dock, the shouts in the distance giving her speed that she didn’t know she possessed. She didn’t slow down, leaping into the boat from the dock midstride and nearly capsizing the boat. She steadied herself, lowering the propeller into the water and pulling the rip cord on the small engine.
The engine sputtered, but didn’t catch. Sabrina yanked on the cord over and over, each time with the same result. Frustrated and frantic, she braced her feet on either side of the engine, grabbing the cord again and yanking with all her might. She could see the lights from their flashlights out of the corner of her eye, and she could hear their boots hit the dock, but she kept trying.
When the engine finally caught, she let out a whoop of delight, grabbing the tiller handle and turning it so the boat began to lurch away from the dock.
“Gotcha!” a man yelled, suddenly yanking her out of the boat kicking and screaming.
She twisted in his grasp, bare feet dangling in the cool air, the little boat continuing without her, disappearing into the lake and dashing her hopes of escape.
