“Thanks. He’s three. I got him from the pound. They didn’t think he was full blooded, but if he’s a mix it’s with something else big. You can see German shepherd all over him though.”
Aidan continued his rub-down of Brownie, who’d flopped onto the ground to show off his belly. Aidan looked up at me, shielding his eyes from the afternoon sun. “Were you going to take him for a walk or is he coming with us?”
I laughed. “No, Brownie isn’t allowed into stores. He eats everything that isn’t nailed down. I was just going to walk him for a while since he’s been home alone all day.”
Aidan stood up and brushed the dirt from his knees, drawing my attention to his massive thighs fighting to break free of his cargo shorts. He was wearing sneakers and a Buffalo Bills t-shirt.
For some reason he looked delicious.
“Let’s go. I’ll walk with you. Lock your door.”
I smiled at his request then walked down the stairs to the dog area behind my building. Brownie jumped up and down excitedly when he saw the gate. Once we were closed inside I unclipped his leash and let him run around the grassy area the complex kept for residents. It was one of the reasons I’d chosen Tree Branch in the first place. Dogs like Brownie needed a chance to run.
“You look nice,” Aidan said, his eyes never leaving Brownie. “I’ve never seen you out of uniform.”
Suddenly shy, I whispered thanks.
I tried to remind myself that Aidan was my friend. We’d been friends for years and there was no reason for me to be uncomfortable around him. Even if he were truly interested in dating me, it wasn’t like I needed to be worried about it. It would never last.
Brownie bounded over to us, happily chewing on a stick he found on the other side of the enclosure. Aidan reached down to pick it up and Brownie jumped away to wait for the throw. Aidan teased him a couple of times before launching the stick across the grass. Brownie bolted after it, grabbing it from the ground on his run past.
Brownie came back over to us and Aidan threw his stick again, then turned to me. “Am I making you uncomfortable? Being here? I feel like you don’t want me here.”
I wondered, not for the first time, how he always seemed to know what I was thinking or feeling. I knew I owed him the truth, but I didn’t know how to tell him the truth. Or even a version of it that would help him understand.
Then again I couldn’t come up with a version that helped me understand. Having him there, throwing a stick for my dog, felt too much like a couple thing. Too much like we were starting something. Something that I wasn’t sure I was ready for. Even if it was with Aidan who I trusted more than I’d trusted a man in ten years.
He didn’t know my past, the lies and trauma I’d been through. He had no way of knowing. But he was willing to fight through whatever it was that was holding me back. He’d been asking me out for months and I’d finally agreed. Even though it wasn’t a date, it was more than I’d had in longer than I wanted to think about.
“I guess I don’t know how to act around you. At work we have this easy friendship but it’s all different when we’re not at work. I’m not really sure what to say to you or how to act around you.”
Brownie whimpered at our feet when Aidan ignored him and turned to me. “Claire, look, I like you. I’ve never hidden that from you. Well, maybe for the first few years when we were getting to know each other, but not lately. I’m still the same guy you have lunch with and harass every day. If nothing ever happens with us I still want us to be friends.”
I took a deep breath, knowing he was right and I was being foolish. Nothing had changed. And it didn’t have to. He said he liked me, not that he wanted to date me. He was still the same friend I’d spent the day talking to, just wearing clothes that let me appreciate more of his incredible body.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. Alright, let’s get to Bite Me!”
“I’d love to,” Aidan mumbled, just loud enough for me to hear. My mouth fell open and he just shrugged then threw the stick one more time for Brownie.
With Brownie locked back in the apartment, Aidan and I walked over to Bite Me! I could tell before we even got close that the place was packed. People were sitting at bistro tables out front and there was a line out the door.
We pushed inside and I spotted Mandy, Xander, Sam, and Addi at a table in the back. They had one extra chair but judging by the size of the crowd it was taking everything they had to hold on to it. I pointed them out to Aidan and he followed me through the crowd, his hand resting on the small of my back as we went.
I won’t lie, his warm hand on me sent tingles up and down my spine.
Sam was the first to see us and her eyes lit up when she noticed Aidan following me. She nudged Addi who nearly choked on her cupcake. Mandy and Xander were too concerned with Addi coughing to realize we were approaching the table.
“Are you okay?” I asked Addi when we got to the table.
She nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks from the lack of oxygen. Sam gave her one more good slap then turned her brown eyes and stunning smile on Aidan. “I’m Sam. Are you a friend of Claire's?”
“For now, yes. I’m Aidan,” he said as he reached for her hand. “Sam? You’re the photographer, right?”
Sam grinned up at him, batting her lashes as she flirted. “I am. I’m afraid I don’t know anything about you though Aidan. How do you know Claire?”
Before he could answer Xander yanked Mandy from her chair into his lap. He nudged Mandy’s chair toward Aidan. He glanced at me then took the seat between Sam and Xander. I dropped into the chair on the other side of Xander, next to Addi.
“Claire and I work together for TSA. You must be Addi,” he said, directing his gaze to her. “And I have no doubt you two are Xander and Mandy.”
Xander extended his hand around Mandy’s back and shook Aidan’s. Mandy and Addi smiled at him. Sam leaned closer and said, “So Aidan, tell us about yourself. What do you do in your spare time?”
“Not too much. I’m saving to buy a house so I actually work a lot. I usually pick up one or two extra shifts each week so I work about six days a week.”
“I didn’t know that,” I blurted out before I could stop myself.
“Where are you looking to buy? I live in a great neighborhood. You should come by sometime and check it out,” Sam said, leaning into him.
I clenched my fists under the table and tried not to get upset. I had no claim over Aidan and Sam could flirt all she wanted. I’d been saying no to dates with Aidan for a long time and Sam fit the bill for his dream woman just as easily as I did. We were the same size but she had bigger breasts and that long, flowing hair that seemed to be made for wet dreams. Her deep brown eyes drew people in and made you want to divulge all your secrets.
Of course that was part of what made her such a fabulous photographer. People wanted to be around Sam. People wanted to smile for her and trusted her enough to let her catch those hidden moments that no one else saw.
I’d always been envious of how easily she talked to people, making small talk seem easy. Where I’d always hidden in the shadows, Sam wasn’t afraid to step into the light when necessary.
Aidan turned toward Sam and said, “That sounds great. I really haven’t decided where I want to buy. I love Winterville so I know I’ll stay in town, but I just don’t know where. I’d love to have a dog so I’m hoping for a place with a yard plus two or three bedrooms. I enjoy cooking so I want a great kitchen.”
“Have you considered a fixer-upper? I got my house for a steal and redid the whole thing myself,” Xander asked. I suddenly loved Mandy’s boyfriend for diverting the attention from Sam.
“I’ve considered it. I like to work with my hands, but I’m afraid I’ll end up getting in over my head and never finish.”
Xander laughed. “I know exactly what you mean. I felt that way, too. It took me about twice as long to finish my house as I thought it would. The key though is to find something you can live in while you fix it up.
”
Aidan nodded, turning toward Xander to continue their conversation. “Yeah, I want to move as soon as I can. If I get something with more than one bathroom I know it won’t be too bad to fix up the house, as long as it’s structurally sound. You sound like you know a thing or two about houses.”
Xander grinned. “Yeah, I work at Colton Construction as a project manager. I’m an electrical engineer but I have some decent mechanical skills too.”
“Don’t let him fool you. He’s amazing. His house is stunning. You should come over and check it out. He has before pictures to really give you an idea of what was done. It’s amazing,” Mandy bragged about Xander.
I risked a glance at Sam and saw her taking the whole situation in. Thankfully she wasn’t mad, just observing. I also didn’t think she knew I had any interest in Aidan.
Wait. Shit, I didn’t want to like him.
Sam was my friend. If she wanted him, I needed to step back and let her have him. After all, for the last ten years I’d told myself love wasn’t going to be part of my future. Sam should have a shot.
“I just might do that. Thanks. It’s overwhelming to think about buying a house and all this stuff. I’m 31 but I still feel like I’m not old enough for responsibility. At the same time I’m sick of renting.”
“My neighborhood has some older homes, but most are in pretty good shape. I’ll give you my number and you can come by and see my place. We can wander the neighborhood too so you can see what it would be like to be my neighbor,” Sam jumped back into the conversation.
“Thanks Sam. That sounds great. I’m really glad Claire let me tag along today. She talks about you guys all the time, but I had no idea you would all be so welcoming.”
Xander laughed and rubbed Mandy’s back. “Just don’t piss one of these ladies off. You’ll pay for it big time if you hurt one of them. I learned my lesson in a hurry.”
“Yeah,” Sam jumped in. “I had to pick Mandy up from a party a few weeks ago when she thought Xander was being an ass. He couldn’t find her for over 24 hours. We protect our own.”
“Loyalty is a very important quality in a person. I wouldn’t consider being friends with or dating someone who wasn’t loyal. It says a lot about all of you that you’re such good friends.”
“Claire and Mandy have been friends forever, but Addi and I met them in college. The four of us met our freshman year and have been best friends ever since. We’d do anything for each other.”
I cringed when Sam rested her hand on Aidan’s arm. He looked down at it then back up at her with a smile. I wanted to be happy for them. To let it all go and just accept that one of my best friends liked another friend of mine. They were perfect for each other, I supposed.
I wanted to let it happen, but I couldn’t fight the nausea rolling through me. The jealousy that came out of nowhere and would have knocked me on my ass if I weren’t already sitting down.
I should have said yes. Even one of those times he asked me on a date I should have agreed. Just one time and I would be the woman he was flirting with. Instead he was flirting with one of my best friends. Someone I would never fight for a guy.
Which was why I had to walk away because I couldn’t just sit there and watch.
Three
I jumped up from my seat and bolted over to the counter. Charlie was talking to a woman a little smaller than me wearing a pair of black shorts and a red swirled top. She had shoulder length blonde hair and blue eyes the color of the sky on a sunny day. She emitted an air of confidence.
This was a woman I could learn something from.
“Hi Claire,” Charlie greeted me warmly. “How are you?”
“Hey Charlie. The party is great. It looks like you’re a big hit,” I answered, avoiding her question about how I was doing. I liked Charlie, but we’d only known each other a few weeks. She was asking to be conversational, not because she wanted to know my whole fucked up story.
“Yeah, I’m pretty happy with how everything has gone. Claire, this is my good friend, Alexandria Mack.”
I turned to the blonde and smiled. She was warm and friendly and someone I knew I would get along with well. “It’s nice to meet you Alexandria.”
She rolled her eyes and grinned at Charlie. “My friend here likes to be a smart ass. I go by Lexi, at least outside of work I do. It’s nice to meet you too Claire.”
“Can I get you a cupcake?” Charlie asked.
The only thing that had kept me from getting a cupcake when I walked in the door was the fact that there was a line. Charlie’s cupcakes were dense and moist and melted in your mouth. They seriously needed to bring her cupcakes to peace talks. I guarantee they would make everyone smile.
“Definitely. What do you have left?”
Charlie baked all her cupcakes during the day while the store was open, keeping the smell of freshly baked goodness in the store. Each morning before she opened she was there early frosting them all for the day and sometimes baking more. She was so busy during the day that she rarely had time to restock her cases so I knew her most popular flavors - red velvet, vanilla bean, chocolate mousse, and Oreo - would be sold out.
“Actually, I saved you a Vanilla Bean since I know they’re your favorite. I’ve also been working on a S’mores cupcake and a cinnamon roll cupcake.”
I groaned. “After the day I’m having, I’ll try them both. You’re a life saver!”
Charlie smiled and walked away to gather my cupcakes. I faced Lexi, but before I could say anything she asked, “Do you know that guy over there? Gorgeous, dark hair, muscles to spare?”
I glanced toward my friends and saw Sam laughing at something Aidan said. “Yeah, Aidan and I work together. Why?”
“He’s been staring over here since you walked up. I was starting to wonder if I had toilet paper coming out of my shorts or something, but I realized he was watching you. Is he your boyfriend?”
For some strange reason, I felt like spilling my guts. Seeing Aidan and Sam flirting tore something inside me. It’d been a long day, starting with that horrible bitch Zoey flirting with him then watching Sam flirting with Aidan only hours after I realized I might have feelings for him. Could I get any more screwed up?
I shook my head as I tore my eyes from Aidan and Sam. “He’s not my boyfriend. We’re friends and he’s asked me out a few times but I always thought he was joking. I mean, he’s hot and I’m not. It’d never work.”
“Why not?”
“He’s like a god and I’m so far from it I couldn’t even lick his boots. He’s perfect and I’m anything but. Plus, the woman he’s currently flirting with is one of my best friends.”
Lexi looked back over at the table with my closest friends. I watched her instead of looking at the table. I wasn’t sure I could take watching them anymore. No matter how much I wanted to support Sam, it would be hard to watch her and Aidan fall in love.
“If she’s your best friend, why would she flirt with a guy you like? She doesn’t sound like a very good friend.”
I smiled at her honesty. I could use someone like Lexi in my life. Someone who would tell me the truth whether it was easy or not. Lexi was a badass.
“She doesn’t know I like him. I never told any of them about Aidan because I never thought he was actually interested. Plus, my background is pretty fucked up and I don’t exactly trust love.”
Lexi scoffed. She looked at me like I was crazy and at that moment I felt like I was. There I was spilling my guts to a virtual stranger. I didn’t know anything about the woman except her name and I was telling her all this stuff I hadn’t even told Mandy. I was confessing my feelings about Aidan and all but trashing Sam.
And I had Lexi thinking Sam was the horrible friend.
“Listen, no one trusts love. My parents split up when I was a kid and love was non-existent in my life. I was a bargaining chip for each of my parents, never really feeling like they loved me, unless one wanted to use me to hurt the other one. As an adult I just accept that lov
e doesn’t exist and move on.”
I gawked at her, wondering where she’d been all my life. “Are you my long lost sister or something? I swear I feel the same way.”
“The same way about what?” Charlie asked as she set my cupcakes in front of me. I sniffed each of them, savoring the potent aroma of the sugar she used in the frosting. My mouth watered as I decided which cupcake I was going to have first.
“About love,” Lexi told her. “Claire and I both believe love doesn’t exist. The problem for her is that she has a very cute man checking her out from across the room. And he’s her coworker and friend, but her best friend is flirting with him because she doesn’t know Claire here likes the man.”
I blew out a breath, half laughing at Lexi’s succinct description of my life. If it were anyone else I would be amused, but because it was me I wanted to cry. How did I get myself into all this?
Instead of commenting on Lexi’s too accurate story, I took a huge bite of the S’mores cupcake. The first thing I tasted was the graham cracker that lined the bottom of the cupcake. Chocolate cake surrounded a sweetly softened marshmallow. On top was marshmallow flavored icing with graham cracker crumbs sprinkled over the whole thing.
I was in love.
Summer time in Winterville usually meant bonfires after dark, roasting marshmallows, and eating S’mores. One bite of Charlie’s cupcake and I knew I’d get my S’mores from Bite Me! over the summer instead of the fire.
“You are a master. I think I’m just going to move in here. It’s less confusing when life is full of cupcakes instead of men.”
Charlie laughed, her tinkling laugh breaking through the misery I felt at that moment. I looked up at the crinkles around her eyes and was jealous of all she had in her life that brought her joy. I wished I had that kind of joy in my life. It hit me all over again that I was missing something in my life. More than a man, more than a job. A purpose. A mission. Something that would make me feel alive. Something that would bring me joy.
Lush & Lovely (Big & Beautiful Book 2) Page 2
