by T. S. Ryder
His mate.
He had resisted thinking of her in those terms until he had nearly lost her. If he had been two seconds later when the wolves attacked… It should never have gotten to that point. He should have kept the pack with him at all times. Brian had challenged him in the forest, and he had turned his back on the challenge, not wanting a fight. He had thought that they would both regret it in the morning.
It was a mistake that had nearly cost him everything. When the wolves scented Claire they had all run after her, Brian at their head.
If Roland hadn't turned his back, if he had taken on the challenge and put Brian back into his place at once, then they would never have gone after her. They would have scented the sweet smell of his pup inside her and cowered before her, the Alpha's mate. They wouldn’t have attacked, trying to kill.
Roland kicked the door shut behind them and carried Claire to the couch. She hadn't said a word since he had pulled her out of the car, though he could smell no injuries on her. Shock, then. Anxiety coursed through him as he settled her onto the couch.
"Are you hurt?" he asked, kneeling in front of her.
Adam could deal with the pack for now. Right now Roland was too tempted to beat them all senseless. But they could not be held accountable for their actions under the full moon's sway. They couldn't keep their minds when their wolves emerged.
Claire stared at him. "You're a werewolf."
Roland winced at her flat tone, but nodded. "I am."
"A werewolf," she repeated.
"Werewolf," he agreed. "I'm going to go dress and then we can talk, okay?"
Claire snorted, her eyes turning hard. "I don't think so. You're going to answer my questions right now or I'm leaving."
"In your car?" Roland raised an eyebrow at her. "Claire, you're in shock—"
"I get shot at on a regular basis. Some werewolves," she bit out the word, face twisting, "aren't going to faze me. So is that what happened to Melissa? Did she find out about your secret?"
Roland growled at the unspoken accusation, but clamped down on his rising anger as her eyes widened. He swallowed thickly. "Melissa was part of the pack. She was a werewolf, too."
"And you were sleeping with her."
"Yes."
Claire's eyes narrowed. "So she was like your mate?"
Roland almost laughed. It was a question that all new werewolves asked, whether having sex with somebody meant they were mated to them. He shook his head. "Mates are drawn to each other on a genetic level. Just because we had sex doesn't mean we were mates or even loved each other. It was…"
He sighed. Claire waited, her gaze not moving, but he was reluctant to tell her. Eventually he began talking, telling her about how he was a born werewolf, as was Adam, but the others had all been human. He told her about how that made their wolves too strong during the full moon to keep their wits about them, and why they needed him, their Alpha, to keep them from doing things they would regret in the morning. He could almost see her eyes turn green with envy when he explained that he and Melissa were trying to have children together for that very reason.
"You two were trying to have kids?"
"We didn't love each other," he hurriedly explained, as her hands clenched. Her jealousy surprised and thrilled him. "We knew what needed to be done and agreed to do it. That's all there was to it."
"There were drugs in her system that would cause abortion, though." Claire's brows knit in confusion.
A shock went through Roland. Why would she be taking abortion drugs? Her pain at every miscarriage had been so strong. She'd never have ended a pregnancy on purpose. He wet his lips. Did she think he'd be angry with her for not wanting to go through more miscarriages?
"We hadn't had sex in months. She always lost the babies during the full moon. If she was pregnant, it wasn't mine."
"She didn't have any signs of being pregnant recently."
Roland pulled back, forehead creased. "Why would she be taking the drugs, then?"
"Maybe she didn't know she was taking them. The other members of your pack, did any of them have designs on Melissa?"
He couldn't help but admire how quickly she slipped back into the role of detective, despite what she had seen. Hesitantly, he put his hand on hers, hoping she wouldn't pull away. He breathed a sigh of relief when she spread her fingers to twine with his. His wolf sighed in contentment, but Roland knew better than to get his hopes too high. She was human. Even if she was his mate, that didn't mean that she would see him as her mate, or that she would ever agree to be with him again.
"During the full moon, all the males were drawn to her," he said quickly, trying to pull his mind away from the fact that he might lose Claire. "But as soon as she made it clear she wasn't interested, all attentions ended. It wasn't my pack. None of them would have hurt Melissa. They knew how important she was."
Claire nodded slowly. "Does anybody else—"
"Claire, I know it's your job to solve that murder, but I have to tell you something." His heart hammered. She needed to know that she was carrying his pup. If he didn't tell her now, he might not have the courage to ever say it.
"We have to examine the possibility that Melissa was targeted because of your… um…"
"Lupine nature?" Roland couldn't help but smile. "Please, there is something more important."
Claire yanked her hand away from him, eyes narrowing. "More important than solving the murder of a woman?"
"I didn't mean it like that. I meant that it's more personally important. For you."
"Are you seriously trying to deflect me from doing my job? You do want—"
"You're pregnant."
All the color drained from Claire's face, leaving her looking almost like a corpse. Her eyes widened and, even with his deafened senses, Roland could hear her heart rate pick up. She swallowed several times. Roland hesitated. What did he say to her now?
"It's mine," he added uselessly.
"How do you even know that?"
"I could smell it. When the moon was up."
"You could smell it."
Claire's eyes widened and she clutched the arm of the couch. It struck Roland suddenly that he was still crouching naked before her, but he pushed the thought aside. He wanted desperately to comfort his mate, but what could he say? Telling her that she was his mate would only serve to terrify her further.
"Will it be a we- like you?"
Roland sighed and nodded. "I told you I was a born werewolf. Well, that's how it works with us. It seems that being a werewolf is a dominant gene. You only need one werewolf parent to become a werewolf yourself. And getting bitten injects the gene or mutates the DNA or something. I've got people researching it, but without actually being able to tell them… Anyway, yes. The baby will be a werewolf."
Claire swallowed hard.
"I'm sorry we don't have more information about this, but Adam and I are the only two to have been born since my father, and it's not like there's a lot of research about werewolf pregnancies.” He tried to smile, then shifted to sit on the couch beside her. "Claire, I…" What was he meant to say? I'm sorry, but I'm glad you're pregnant because we are meant to be together. Yeah, that would go over well. "There's something else you should know."
She nodded, the shell-shocked look on her face reminding him of everyone in his pack when they were first transformed. "I'm going to turn into a werewolf, too."
"What? No."
"I'm not?"
Roland shook his head.
"But you… bit me. While we…"
He laughed. Claire's expression lost that shell-shocked quality and she narrowed her eyes at him. He shook his head again, quickly sobering.
"It doesn't work that way. It would have to be the full moon. But speaking of the full moon, the baby is a werewolf. That means it transforms during the full moon. It's why Melissa could never carry to term. Why there are so few werewolves born. Chances are that you'll miscarry next full moon."
The words pained him, but he
had to say them. He held his breath, waiting for Claire to respond. She turned her face away from him. His heart ached–it had hurt every time Melissa lost the babies. How much worse would it be if it was his mate who lost his child?
"You mean if I even decide to carry it to term, chances are I won't be able to."
If she even decided to carry. Roland closed his eyes. He shouldn't have just assumed she'd want the baby as much as he did. His throat felt thick. He wanted to beg her to try. But he could not tell her what to do with her own body, as much as he wanted this baby. He took in a deep breath. "What are you going to do?"
Claire was silent for a moment, then she pushed him away and stood. "I'm going to work and I'm going to find who killed Melissa Clarkson. Everything else… I'll have to let you know."
Chapter Six
Grace frowned when Claire told her about Roland's revelation that Melissa was actively trying to get pregnant with his child. "So you think that maybe he was the one to give her the abortion drugs to make sure she wouldn't go after him for child support?"
"No. They both wanted a child and already had their custody agreements drawn up." Claire held up the file that Roland's lawyers had sent over. "They were going about it very… cleanly."
Grace hummed. "But they were still having sex rather than artificial insemination."
"I talked to Roland about that. He said that they had tried AI and surrogacy, but neither would take," Claire answered.
She tensed briefly as her stomach churned. She hadn't been dealing with a lot of morning sickness, but just the knowledge that she was pregnant–that Roland thought she was pregnant–and that Roland was a werewolf was making her queasy.
Roland was a werewolf. That really ought to be freaking her out more than it was. The fact that it wasn't freaking her out was worrying her more than the fact that she had slept with a freaking werewolf. Claire shook her head.
Am I crazy?
It had been two days since she last saw him. Claire had thrown herself into the investigation, although there still weren't any reasonable suspects. The main stumbling block was the motive. There was no reason anybody would want to kill Melissa Clarkson. At least, not for the usual motives… There was still the distinct possibility that there was someone out there who knew she was a werewolf. But the knife was plain old steel. If it was werewolf-motivated, wouldn't they have used a silver knife?
What a mess!
Grace frowned. "You're just taking his word for it?"
"No. The medical records are being sent to our ME to confirm. But Roland said that Melissa suffered several miscarriages." If she was pregnant, chances were she'd miscarry during the next full moon. It would explain the cramps she’d had during the last one. The fetus was transforming into a wolf inside her uterus. She was pregnant with a werewolf baby. What was she going to do?
But I might not be pregnant.
"Maybe they weren't miscarriages," Grace said.
Claire shook her head and turned to her. "What?"
"We found abortion drugs in her system. What if somebody else thought she was pregnant and was slipping her the drugs? Maybe she found out and they killed her for it." Grace sighed. "But who would want to prevent Melissa from having Roland's baby? Could we be looking at a jealous ex-lover?"
Or maybe somebody who was trying to make sure that Roland didn't have an heir, to weaken his place as Alpha of the pack. Claire's brow furrowed. Could it have been a member of his pack wanting to stage a coupe? Or somebody on the outside, wanting to force the werewolves to reveal their identity to the world at large?
An alarm on her phone went off and Claire cursed quietly, fishing it out of her pocket.
"I have to go," she said to Grace, hating the way her hands shook. "Doctor's appointment. I want you to dig into past relationships. Both Melissa and Roland's. See if there was anybody too obsessed with them. Got it?"
Grace nodded and Claire headed out. Her nerves kicked into overdrive, making her nausea much worse. She had never been that into the whole baby thing. Yeah, she wanted to have kids someday, but that was a plan for the distant future. She had planned to find a husband who wouldn't mind being a stay-at-home dad, so that she wouldn't have to give up her career. She was okay with it not happening for another ten years! She was still young, she had plenty of time.
Unless she had a werewolf inside her right at that moment. Then she didn't have time to get used to the idea or decide what to do.
What will I do?
***
Dr. Bulla had only been Claire's doctor for the few months since her previous doctor had retired. They still didn't have very easy communication. Bulla was just as young as Claire and was overly professional in an effort to make up for it. Claire didn't really care. At this point, she just wanted someone who was going to be calm and impartial to deliver the news to her.
Her heart was going a little too fast, and she breathed deeply and evenly. Claire lay on the narrow, uncomfortable examination bed, wearing nothing but the stupid blue robe thing that didn't close all the way in the back. She waited. With any luck, Dr. Bulla would come back and tell her that her cramps and nausea were just because of her weight, and tell her to lose thirty pounds.
Of course Claire knew that wouldn't be the case. Roland had been too certain in his statement that she was pregnant.
He's a werewolf, she thought.
In this cool, bright room she had nowhere to run from it. Roland Davis was a werewolf. When the full moon rose, he transformed into a monstrous, hairy creature with the physique of a full-time bodybuilder and the head of a wolf. And he had a tail. She had seen that distinctly when his back had been towards her while she was hanging upside down in her car.
Her car. What was she going to do about that?
Claire shook her head. The car could wait. She had been pushing the whole werewolf thing to the back of her mind, focusing on the case. But the fact was she had slept with a werewolf and she might be having a werewolf baby–or should that be puppy? She should be totally freaking out. So why wasn't she?
Am I in shock? Or is it because there was some part of my mind that already knew and had decided it's not that big of a deal?
The door opened and Bulla came in, wheeling a large piece of equipment. "Detective Doyle, the results came back positive. You are pregnant."
Claire closed her eyes. She was surprised when relief washed over her. Maybe it was because now she knew for certain, and she could stop wallowing in uncertainty. Or maybe it was something else… Her heart calmed. Was she happy about this news?
"What's that?" She eyed the device.
"This is a fetal heart monitor. You're six weeks pregnant, so we should be able to hear a heartbeat."
“Oh,” said Claire softly, still staring at the device.
Bulla winced. “That is, assuming you are planning on continuing the pregnancy. If not, I can give you a referral to—”
Claire shook her head, cutting the doctor off. "Can you just give me a minute? It’s a lot to take in."
Bulla nodded and stepped out of the room again. Claire pressed her hands to her eyes. She had to approach this logically. She couldn't afford to become emotional. How would a baby affect her life, her job? And there was Roland to consider. He had been trying to have a child, and it had always ended in miscarriage–which was likely how this pregnancy would end as well.
And there was the possibility that Melissa had been killed because of her relationship with Roland. If that was the case, would there be a target painted on Claire's back as well? Well, that was a risk that could be minimized.
Pregnancies were dangerous. Given that this wasn't a normal pregnancy, it carried more risk. If she was going to terminate, she had to do it right away. But was that what she wanted? No, she didn’t think it was. There was no reason she couldn’t have a baby, either. She had a steady job and good salary. She could take care of a child. Especially since the father was a billionaire. If she kept the baby, things would work out.
&nbs
p; With a sigh, she pulled out her phone and dialed Roland. He answered quickly, as though he had been waiting for her to call.
"If I decide I don't want to risk this pregnancy, what will you do?" she asked, without even a hello.
There was a moment of silence on the other side, and Roland sighed. "I will understand. It's a lot for you to come to terms with."
"But will you find another woman to try to have a baby with? You need your Alpha heir."
"I… I don't know." Roland's voice lowered. "I'm not sure how much more I can take. But if you don't want to have my children, yes. I'll look somewhere else. You don't have to feel pressured."
Jealousy swirled in Claire's heart. It surprised her how much she hated the idea of Roland sleeping with other women. It wasn't like she had any hold on him!
"I have proven myself capable of getting women pregnant, Claire. It's not..." Another sigh. "I want you to have my child. If you don't want to be responsible for a baby right now, we can work something out. I'll take full custody, you don't have to be part of our lives." Every word sounded like it was costing Roland something.
Claire lay down on the bed again, staring up at the ceiling. She could hear how much Roland wanted this baby–wanted the baby, and wanted her. "What if I want to keep it? Custody and all?"
"We can figure that out."
Claire knew what she was going to do. "I didn't want to have a baby this soon. And I wanted to be in a stable relationship first. But even though I'm scared shitless, I'm going to do it. I'm going to carry the baby to term." Unless the full moon killed it. Claire let out a shuddering breath. "Can I come over tonight?"
"Of course."
"I'll see you at 6:00, then." Claire hung up, pressing her hands to her soft stomach. Whether she was ready or not, this was happening.
Chapter Seven
Roland paced on the guest house patio, waiting for Claire to arrive. It was still fifteen minutes before she was supposed to get there, but he was feeling oddly nervous. Knowing that Claire was going to attempt to carry until term was a relief. More than a relief. He had never felt happier than he felt knowing that his child was growing inside her. But she didn't have the same feelings for him as he had for her. He knew she was meant to be his mate. To her, he was just some person who got her pregnant after the woman he had been sleeping with was murdered.
