Lochlan started to laugh loudly. “Oh my God, I forgot.” Vanessa just looked at her in confusion. “My song now has an amazing bridge.”
“What?”
“The recorder is still on.”
“What?” Vanessa asked in horror.
“I was running the recorder when you sat down.”
“Do you mean—” Lochlan stood with a devilish grin and stepped outside the door. Vanessa could see her through the window. “No. Lochlan, you better not mean that it just recorded—”
Her words died as she heard the moaning that came through the speaker. “Loc! Stop it!” Vanessa blushed as she heard herself groan out Lochlan’s name in a husky voice. “I swear, Lochlan!”
Lochlan reentered the room smiling. “Yep, my favorite take ever.”
“Delete that, Loc.”
“Nope.”
“Yes,” Vanessa pled.
“I don’t know how.”
“You’re lying.”
“Do you know that to be a fact?”
“Yes.”
“Well, okay then, maybe it is, but no.” She went to Vanessa and kissed her. “When I’m alone and you are back in North Carolina, I may need to hear that voice.” She placed a kiss on Vanessa’s neck. “God, and it’s such a good voice.” Lochlan’s moan vibrated against her neck.
“What if someone else hears that?”
“They won’t. It’s my personal system. Rarely do we have writing or recording sessions here. I normally go downtown for that.”
She pulled back from Lochlan. “You’re seriously going to keep that?”
“I already deleted it.”
“You did not!” Vanessa protested.
“Okay, maybe, not.”
“You are a pervert.”
Lochlan gasped. “Me?” She placed a hand over her heart. “Country music’s sweetheart, Lochlan Paige?” She knelt in front of the bench between Vanessa’s legs. Lochlan grabbed Vanessa’s hip and pulled her to the very edge of the bench. Just before her head dropped to Vanessa’s center, she said, “No one would ever believe you.”
Vanessa grabbed a handful of hair as her head went back in pleasure. “You turned that off, right?”
Vanessa barely heard the muffled “Maybe” that came from Lochlan.
✥ ✥ ✥
“That may have been the best spaghetti that I have ever eaten.” Vanessa and Lochlan made their way out of the restaurant.
“Everyone here knows that if you want Italian, this is where to go.”
Vanessa sensed a pride that Lochlan had for this town. “You really love this place, don’t you?”
Lochlan beamed. “I really do. It’s not as busy as LA or New York, somewhat quieter than Atlanta. It has this almost Chicago type feel to it.”
“I could see that.” The more they walked down the street, the closer Lochlan seemed to get to her. Their shoulders were almost touching. “Tell me about her.”
“Who?” Lochlan seemed genuinely confused.
“Lochlan Paige. Tell me about her,” Vanessa said as if she were asking about an unknown person.
“Well, if you listen to the industry she is a blond-haired, blue-eyed workaholic. She was found on a talent show stage at the age of eighteen and signed a record deal a year later. The following year she had won a Grammy and three Country Music Association awards. She has been a workhorse for those execs ever since.”
“And don’t forget the legs.”
“Oh, yeah, the legs.” She stopped and looked at Vanessa in surprise. “Do you know that an insurance company wanted to insure them?”
“Your legs?” Vanessa chuckled.
“Yes, my legs.” Lochlan started their walking pace again. “It was the first year that I was named one of the fifty most beautiful people.”
“So, the year before you were named sexiest woman alive?” Vanessa continued to tease her.
“I mean, who votes for those things? There is probably some girl in a rural town somewhere that would put everyone on that list to shame.”
“What’s it like stepping out on that stage?”
“It’s a drug. There is no way to explain that feeling. Small venues are nice and personal, but when you step out onto a stage and one hundred thousand people start screaming—it’s a high.” Lochlan’s stared off as if reliving the moment right now. “And when they sing a song back to you—there is nothing in this world like that.”
“Your entire face lights up when you talk about performing.”
“I have worked so hard to get here. I gave up everything I knew. My friends, my family. I have put my life on hold so that Lochlan Paige gets to fly as high as this business will take her.”
“You should be proud of what you have achieved.”
“I am. Nothing has been easy. For women, it’s different. Three years ago, I sat at an awards show and watched a man receive the highest honor that night when it should have been given to at least three women first. As a woman, you work twice as hard for what men are just handed. Women fawn over them and they rise to the top a lot quicker. Women have to spend countless hours in gyms, eat a third of what a normal body would take in daily, and look perfect at all times.”
“I can’t imagine having to live that way.”
“Yeah, I saw what you just ate.”
“Hey.” Vanessa bumped Lochlan’s shoulder with her own. “I don’t have to make lists.”
“You would.”
Vanessa chuckled. “Of course I would.”
“See—” Lochlan stopped walking again. “You are that rural girl who would put us all to shame.”
“You’re funny.”
“I’m serious.” Lochlan stepped toward her. “Those eyes. That dark hair.” Lochlan’s gaze fell to her lips. “Those lips.”
“Oh. My. God! It’s Lochlan Paige!” Lochlan and Vanessa turned to see three young guys rushing toward them.
Vanessa was close enough to Lochlan to feel her body tense and felt the cool night air as Lochlan pulled away from her quickly. Lochlan’s entire demeanor went rigid. “Hi,” Lochlan said to the fans as they approached her.
“Oh my God, we can’t believe that you are out here.”
“My friend and I just had dinner,” Lochlan replied.
“Can we get a picture with you?”
“Um—yeah.” She glanced at Vanessa and smiled.
One of the guys, probably mid-twenties, handed a camera to Vanessa, almost shoving it at her. “Oh, okay,” Vanessa said as they all squeezed in close to Lochlan.
Once the picture was taken, one of the three said, “We are huge fans.”
“That’s sweet. Thank you,” Lochlan offered back.
“Are you headed somewhere? One of the bars?”
“No,” Lochlan answered quickly. “We are parked close and were just walking a bit. I was showing my friend some of Main Street.”
They all looked over at Vanessa before one of the guys started to talk again. “Well, we are headed to hear some music. You and your friend should join us.”
“Thanks for the offer, but we are about head back.”
“Come on, two pretty girls like you can’t call it a night this early.”
“Us pretty girls have to get our beauty rest,” Vanessa said before she could stop herself. She noticed that Lochlan almost laughed.
“Again, thanks for the invite, but we are heading back. You boys have fun tonight. Nashville bars can get wild. Pace yourselves.”
“You sure we can’t convince you to come with us?”
“I’m sure.” Lochlan smiled the smile that Vanessa knew she reserved for fans and photoshoots. “We’re heading back.”
As she nodded toward the car, Vanessa took the cue. “Okay, guys, Ms. Paige has had a busy day. We were just walking off some fantastic food, but she needs to be going. We appreciate your stopping to talk, but Ms. Paige needs to head back now.”
“Oh, sorry,” one of them said. “We didn’t mean to keep her or interrupt your business.” He smil
ed widely. “We were just hoping two pretty ladies would join us for some drinks.” Lochlan and Vanessa didn’t say anything, which he obviously took as them considering the offer. “You sure we can’t convince you? Drinks are on us.”
“Like I said, Ms. Paige has had a busy day. She isn’t one for drinking anyway, so we really hope you all have a good time, but we will have to decline.”
“All right,” one of them said.
Vanessa moved toward Lochlan and took her by the elbow. “Ms. Paige, the car is this way.” She turned to glance at the three men as she led Lochlan away. “Good night.”
As they walked, Vanessa had forgotten that her hand was still on Lochlan’s elbow until Lochlan moved her arm and out of her grasp. “Sorry, I forget I was still holding you.”
“It’s okay.”
“What’s wrong?”
Lochlan stopped. “What’s wrong is that I almost kissed you.” Lochlan looked around. “We are in the middle of downtown, and I almost kissed you.”
“Loc, they’re a couple half-drunk guys that didn’t notice.”
“I almost kissed you.” Lochlan rubbed her face with her hands. “All that stuff. The drug. The me working my ass off to get where I am. All of that—Lochlan Paige wouldn’t survive the fallout if I had kissed you.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Do you know who Jamie managed before me?”
“No. How would I know that?”
“Zach Tilian.”
“I don’t think I know him.”
Lochlan chuckled. “Of course you don’t. Zach was gay and wasn’t as careful as me. Jamie thought, ‘Hey, the world is changing. He’ll be fine.’ He was caught in a nightclub with a guy. He lost everything. He’s now bagging groceries at a Trader Joe’s on the West Coast. Playing dive bars and birthday parties.”
“Okay,” Vanessa said flatly.
“Zach never had a chance.”
“It’s okay, Loc—”
“I want this with you. I want to be able to kiss you. Right here on this fucking street, but I can’t.” Vanessa saw the tears in Lochlan’s eyes. “I have worked my ass off. I missed my parents. The first two months that I was here I cried myself to sleep at night, I missed them so badly. I was in Tulsa when my nephew was born and didn’t get to see him until he was three months old. My sister attends college, which Lochlan Paige pays for. I have a road crew and managers and assistants that depend on me to be Lochlan Paige.”
“Lochlan, none of that is going to change.” Vanessa took a deep breath. “You will always have these reasons to not kiss me in front of everyone on this street.”
“Just give me a minute to figure this out.”
Vanessa took a small step toward her. “We don’t have to figure this out tonight.”
“I want to kiss you so bad.” A tear ran down Lochlan’s face. “But I can’t.”
“Then we will wait until you can.”
Chapter Eleven
As the plane touched down in Charlotte, Vanessa restarted her phone. She had three texts from Lochlan about missing her already. She sent a text back that emphasized how much she missed her, too. They had spent most of the week inside the confines of Lochlan’s home. The warm Southern days left little to do outdoors, but the nights were cooler and seemed to offer more options for activities. Lochlan had been extra careful since the night they were out for dinner. She had made sure to keep her distance from Vanessa when out. Vanessa could feel the tension in Lochlan when anyone would approach them.
Vanessa tried to blame the sparse amount of time that they spent outside on the weather, but she did wonder if Lochlan was in fear of rumors starting. Vanessa was always mindful of their surroundings. She didn’t touch Lochlan in public, and they both tried to keep their glances at a minimum and walked a little farther apart. She hated to even admit it to herself, but she could see where Mac had felt forced back into the closet. It was a lot to go from being an out and proud lesbian to feeling guilty while hiding who you were. That was something Vanessa had never had to do. Her parents found out when she was young, but Chris had known first. She had told him when she was eleven. It was while Michael was sick and he had a nurse that Vanessa thought was beautiful. That was when she had known, when she was eleven, and now—well, it was hard to imagine going back into the closet, even for someone as wonderful as Lochlan.
But she had a wonderful time with Lochlan, no matter the circumstance. They had talked a lot about the situation they were in, and their relationships with their friends and families. As Vanessa drove away from the airport, she had one thing on her mind, and it was going to take her back to Raleigh and not home to Charlotte.
✥ ✥ ✥
Lochlan knocked on the door of the oversized LA home. It was just a moment’s wait before she was enveloped in a hug. “How are you?”
“Hey, Mac.”
“Well, come in. God forbid someone sees you out there.” Lochlan knew it was a joke, but still managed to hit close to home. “When good-looking women come to my house, they are my new girlfriend before morning.”
“Yeah, sharing that headline with you is so not what I need right now.” Lochlan passed Mac in the doorway.
“I promise not to be offended by that statement.”
“I need some advice.”
“Okay, you mentioned that on the phone.” Mac seemed to be concerned. “Are you okay?”
“Just need some advice from someone that has knowledge of me.”
“Anything. What can I help you with? Finally kicking Jamie to the curb?”
Lochlan couldn’t help the slight laugh that escaped her. “No, Jamie is keeping her job. This is personal.”
Mac stared at Lochlan until Lochlan looked away. “Noooo.” Mac grinned.
“What?”
Mac let out something between a chuckle and a whisper. “You met someone.” Lochlan shyly looked away. “Oh, and you like her.” She returned her gaze to Mac. “Oh, you really like her.” Mac giggled. “Oh my God, I bet Jamie is shitting her pants right now as we speak.”
“This isn’t funny, Mac.”
“Hell no, it isn’t. Well, not this part, but the Jamie shitting herself is a little funny.” Mac guided her to the couch. “Tell me all about…” She gestured for Loc to finish her sentence.
“Vanessa.”
“Ah, Vanessa. And this…Vanessa, is she in the business?”
“No.” Lochlan smiled.
“There’s that smile again. You have it bad for this girl.” Mac placed a hand on Lochlan’s knee. “I don’t know this Vanessa, but I like her already.”
“She’s a med student in Raleigh, North Carolina.”
“Okay.” She slightly squeezed Lochlan’s knee in reassurance. “What is it that you need?”
“I need someone to tell when it’s time.”
“You wanna come out for this girl?” Lochlan just looked at Mac without a reply. Maybe she was still looking for that answer herself. “Wow, this is more serious than I thought. This is more than serious. You’re falling for her, aren’t you?”
“That would be crazy, Mac. What do I have to offer her?”
“Um, yourself.” Mac looked shocked that she had to even answer the question. “You have you, my friend. You are funny and talented, and you care about people, Loc. You have a heart that only knows good. And you are beautiful. I know beauty, I see it every day, and you are it. You have a lot to offer someone, and none of that includes who Lochlan Paige is. You are taken with this one, and so your real question here is, do you think it’s worth risking your career?”
“If that’s what I was asking you, what would you say?”
“Do you love her?” Lochlan didn’t answer. “Loc, are you in love with this woman?”
“I think I am.”
“Well, okay then, that changes everything. If you love her, none of the rest of this matters. So what, your career may suffer for a moment. You’re the most captivating voice country music has ever seen. Look at Taylor, she made
this huge move to pop and blew up even more than she was. You have the presence, the name, and the voice to do any genre of music or anything in entertainment that you want. You could do music, or television, hell, even films. Have you seen yourself in that short film that you did for your ‘Loving You’ video? My God, who knew that you could act that well?” Lochlan smiled at the compliment on the video that had won her several awards. “Don’t you dare let those people tell you who you can love. It’s not fair to either of you.”
“I don’t know if I’m as strong as you, Mac.”
“You are.”
“This is what I have spent my entire life perfecting. Lochlan Paige isn’t just a country singer, she is everything that I have ever worked for. Look what happened to Zach.”
“Zach and Tim got married last year.”
“He has the love but lost everything to get it.”
“When you truly realize that you love Vanessa, you will see that none of that matters.”
“It’s always going to matter to me. I only ever wanted to be one thing. A country music singer. What if it happens and I resent her for losing everything?”
“If you love her, you won’t.” Mac patted her knee. “I know you love what you do, and you love the people that you support with your fame but, Loc, that one true love is worth it. You know that it is. I know you do.”
Lochlan paused for a moment before speaking. “I’m sorry if I hurt you.”
MacKenzie laughed. “No, you don’t. Don’t you ever apologize to me for that. I understand that it wasn’t the right thing for either of us. Now, look at us. You found someone, and I am beyond in love with an amazing woman. I’m happy, and above anything, I want that for you, too. Don’t make the same mistakes twice, Loc.”
“I don’t want to, Mac, but I don’t know if I can stop it.”
“You can stop it.” Lochlan looked away. “If you don’t stop this, no one can.”
✥ ✥ ✥
Vanessa took a deep breath as she knocked on the door, and a moment later, Ty opened it. “Hey.” He smiled and hugged her.
“Thanks for letting me come by.”
Love's Falling Star Page 11
