Making It

by Christine d'Abo

  Thankfully, the little man liked the water, which helped calm him down. By the time Eli was scrubbing him down, Matthew was giggling.

  “You’re a terror.” Eli grinned and stuck out his tongue.

  Matthew giggled again and stuck his own out.

  The pain in Eli’s back from leaning over the tub melted away as an unexpected warmth spread through him. This was the thing Devan had so desperately wanted, this genuine connection with another human being that wasn’t beholden to anything. No wonder he’d fought so hard to have Matthew.

  Eli blinked against the rush of tears. “Soap in my eye.”

  Matthew stuck his tongue out again.

  Once the wine had been served, Devan let himself fall into a pleasant back and forth with Pierce. He was charming and easygoing to the point that they were both laughing like fools before their main course had arrived. Devan was relaxed and having a wonderful time. This was probably the best date he’d been on since before Eli had walked out on him.

  “Whoa.” Pierce put his fork down. “You okay?”

  “Yes.” Devan wiped his mouth on his napkin, hoping it would hide his embarrassment. “Why?”

  “Have you ever been told that you don’t have a poker face?” Pierce leaned back in his chair. “Seriously. Your entire face changed there for a second. What were you thinking?”

  This wasn’t exactly the best time to mention Eli, but Devan was a firm believer in getting all the crap on the table as soon as possible. “I was thinking about my ex, Eli.”

  “Sorry. Did things end badly for you?”

  “He walked out on me after my friend miscarried our baby. He’s currently babysitting my son for me.”

  Pierce blinked. “That’s messed up.”

  Devan laughed. “Believe me, I’m well aware.”

  “So, you’re on good terms. That’s something at least.”

  “Do you mind if we don’t talk about him? I don’t want to put a damper on our evening.” The truth of the matter was, he was having a hard enough time getting Eli out of his head as it was. He didn’t need his current date to bring up emotions Devan certainly hadn’t processed.

  “Sure. How about we talk about what movie we should go to on our next date.” Pierce leaned forward. “That is, if you want to go on another date.”

  Devan couldn’t deny that he’d been having a good time. “Yeah, that might be nice.”

  Eli’s body was used to working out, building his strength. He could go for hours in the gym, push himself to his limits in a fight. So why the hell was he so tired from playing with a toddler? “Okay, little man, what do you want to do now?”

  Matthew was crawling around the living room, dragging Mr. Fuzzy as he went, babbling. What Eli needed was a bit of a break. He could do something to keep Matthew still for a while, then he could rest. There was a small bookcase in the corner of the apartment that held an assortment of children’s books. Reading was good. He’d do a few stories, and then it would be time for Matthew to go to sleep.

  “How about a book? Do you like books?” Eli leaned over and grabbed the first thing he saw. “Dr. Seuss. Kids like this shit, right?”

  Matthew caught sight of what was in Eli’s hand and squealed.

  “Ah fuck.”

  Devan and Pierce talked for another half hour and paid for their meal. Pierce moved a bit closer to him as they went down the glass elevator that gave them an amazing view of Toronto. Devan turned to glance up at Pierce at the same time as Pierce looked down at him.

  The brush of their lips could barely qualify as a kiss, but there was no mistaking the contact.

  Devan blushed. “Sorry.”

  “I’m not.” Pierce smiled. When the elevator doors opened and they stepped out onto the plaza, he turned to face Devan. “I did have a good time tonight. I’ll give you a call in a day or two. We can see about that movie?”

  “That sounds good.”

  Devan gave him a little wave before heading over to where the cabs waited. With each step he took, he couldn’t help but turn over the brush of their lips. It should have been exciting, arousing. He’d done the same with Eli at the gym in the yoga studio before things had gotten hot and heavy. But the gentle kiss with Pierce hadn’t stirred anything in him. Maybe it was simply too soon. Meg was right that his relationship with Eli hadn’t begun overnight. He couldn’t assume it would happen with anyone else that quickly either.

  Lust though. He’d felt an undeniable attraction for Eli the moment their eyes had met.

  No, he owed it to himself to see where this thing with Pierce could go. He hailed a taxi and headed home.

  Devan moved down the hallway from the elevator toward his apartment with a sense of excitement. He’d had a decent date, and hadn’t gotten a call or text from Eli. Hopefully that meant he’d had no trouble getting Matthew in bed. It always amazed him how much he missed their bedtime routine on the odd night when he wasn’t home to do it.

  He fished his keys out of his pocket and slid open the apartment dead bolt. He’d told Eli that he’d be home around nine, so he would no doubt be surprised to see him a half hour earlier. The apartment was quiet except for the sounds of one of Matthew’s Baby Mozart DVDs. Not sure what he was walking into, Devan crept as quietly as he could into the living room. The laundry basket of unfolded baby clothes and towels had been put away. The bevy of toys normally strewn around the floor had all been picked up and put in the toy box. As he stepped fully into the room, he was greeted with a sight he’d never imagined he would see.

  Eli was fast asleep on the couch with Matthew cuddled to his chest.

  In that instant, Devan’s heart exploded with emotions he didn’t dare label.

  This was what he’d always wanted. Exactly this. His husband and his son being together in the home that he and Eli had tried to make work since they first got married.

  Eli must have sensed his presence, because in a moment he was moving, yawning and slowly shifting to look up at him. “Hey.”

  “Did he wear you out?”

  Eli blinked several times before carefully adjusting Matthew. “I don’t know how you do this.”

  Devan grinned as he scooped Matthew up. “I’ll put him to bed.”

  Holding his son to his nose, he breathed in the normal scent of baby powder and fresh diaper. This time the smell of Eli’s soap mingled with it, which sent a shiver through him. Matthew never woke as he placed in him his crib. With any luck, he’d sleep through the night and Devan would get a decent night’s sleep.

  When he got back out into the living room, he was surprised to see Eli still sitting on the couch. Not that he was in any hurry to rush him out the door, but he figured after an hour and a half of watching an eleven-month-old, he’d be ready to leave.

  “How was he?” Devan fell into the chair opposite Eli, taking advantage of the opportunity to really look at him.

  “When he realized that I’d read books to him, he got excited. He cried whenever I tried to stop. He didn’t rest until twenty minutes ago. That movie thing helped distract him so I could take a break. I guess I fell asleep too.”

  “Yes, I should have warned you about the book thing. What one did he fixate on tonight?”

  “The Cat in the Hat.” Eli’s scowl told him all he needed to know about what he thought of Dr. Seuss.

  “Well there are worse things that could have happened.”

  Eli leaned forward, his hands on his knees. “How was the date?” There wasn’t any underlying edge to his question, more general curiosity.

  “It was okay.”

  Eli cocked an eyebrow. “Only okay?”

  Because he wasn’t you. “It was great. Pierce was nice enough, but he’s only recently out, and I’m not sure he knows what he’s looking for yet. We’re probably going on another date though.”

  Eli nodded. “I’m glad.” He didn’t sound the least bit pleased.

  “If nothing else, I can finally say that I had a chance to eat at the CN Tower.”

/>   “That sounds like fun.” Eli got up, and Devan assumed that that was it, he’d be out the door. Instead, he walked over to where Devan sat and held out his hand. “Come here?”

  It was strange how natural it felt to slide his hand into Eli’s. To let himself be tugged to his feet and have Eli’s hand fall to his waist. When they started swaying together, Devan laughed. “Are we dancing to Baby Mozart?”

  “Your date ended early. You look like you weren’t ready to come home.”

  Words fell away, and Devan enjoyed the contact between them. Whenever they touched, Devan’s body zinged with arousal. The blood pounded harder through his body, and his cock inconveniently took notice. God, why the hell hadn’t he responded this way to Pierce? He was attractive, smart, and funny; Devan had enjoyed their night and really did want to go out with him again. But despite their fledgling attraction, there hadn’t been the same rush of instant connection he’d felt with Eli.

  Instead of fighting against his turbulent emotions, he stepped closer and laid his head on Eli’s shoulder. “This is nice.”

  There’d never been anything soft about Eli—at least, it had seemed that way until Devan had gotten to know him. Whenever they’d been in bed together, Devan had marveled at how strong he was. Time hadn’t changed that aspect of him, but that gentleness was still there, the thing that had drawn Devan to him in the first place. It was as unsettling as it was reassuring.

  “Anything new happen on the Caulfield front today?”

  Eli grunted. “Stephan called me a few hours ago and read me the riot act. He also said that Caulfield has been warned by the league, so I don’t think we’ll have any more unsanctioned interactions before the fight. His scheme worked though. Stephan said tickets for the match are sold out.”

  A sold-out fight no doubt meant better pay-per-view ratings. The league would be happy, and Eli would no doubt move up another notch in their eyes. “Congratulations. Are you ready for the match? How’s the training been?”

  “Can we not talk about the fight? I’m enjoying my night off.”

  Eli wasn’t normally one to deflect when it came to talking about his job, so Devan didn’t want to push. “Night off? So babysitting was that easy, eh?”

  “Hell no. Like I said, I don’t know how you do it all the time without anyone to help you.”

  “Well, I’d always hoped there would be someone else around.” When Eli didn’t say anything else, Devan pulled back. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that as a dig against you.”

  Eli looked at him, but Devan couldn’t read what he was thinking.

  Yeah, he’d had enough confusion in one night. “Look, maybe you should go. I really appreciate you watching Matthew for me. Thank you for giving me a night off.”

  They stood there looking at one another, gazes locked. Devan’s stomach churned, and he couldn’t help but wipe his palms against the sides of his thighs. Eli didn’t say a word, he simply closed the gap again. He reached up and cupped Devan’s face. Unlike at Ringside, Devan didn’t turn his face away, didn’t try to avoid the inevitable kiss.

  With his eyes closed, Devan parted his lips as Eli lowered his head. The first brush of their mouths together sent a chill through Devan. Memories he’d tried to bury for years now flooded his mind. His cock grew stiff as their bodies pressed against each other. Eli moaned so faintly, Devan wasn’t sure he’d actually made the noise. Yes, this was what he’d wanted: the flare of want and need that he couldn’t adequately describe to anyone. The passion that haunted his dreams.

  The kiss deepened, as Devan ran his hands along Eli’s arms, up his back. Muscles seemingly made of steel flexed beneath his touch. Eli walked them backward until the edge of the couch banged against their legs.

  Devan moved with Eli as they sat down. Their kiss had grown more passionate, harder, more desperate. He didn’t want to think about what they were doing, if it was a good idea or not. For the first time in forever, he didn’t worry about Matthew and if he was going to be okay. The only thing that mattered was him and Eli, here together again.

  The material of his dress shirt stretched as he leaned back and Eli’s large body covered him. The angle and pressure made his cock strain in his pants. God, he wanted to be naked, to feel Eli on him, in him. He pulled at Eli’s T-shirt, trying to wrestle it over his head while refusing to break their kiss. Once Eli knew what he wanted, he moved back, eyes dark and lips wet, and yanked his shirt off. “You. Unbutton your shirt.”

  Devan sighed and did as he was told. When he wasn’t done as fast as Eli would have liked, he reached down and yanked the shirt apart, sending the remaining buttons flying every which way.

  “Jesus.” He slid the shirt from his arms. “I’ll never find all those again. Matthew will eat them.”

  “I’ll vacuum them up later.” Eli went to work on the fly of Devan’s pants. His large fingers easily found Devan’s straining cock and gave it a hard squeeze. “There you are.”

  Devan’s body seized up, refused to move or risk breaking this unbelievable spell that they’d fallen under. The feeling of Eli on him, touching him, was more than he could handle.

  “You’re hard as a rock. How long has it been?”

  Devan swallowed. “I jerk off whenever I can.”

  “I mean with a man. How long?”

  God, he didn’t want to admit this. He turned his head, but Eli reached up with his free hand and grabbed his chin, forcing Devan to look him in the eye. “How long?”

  “You. You were the last man I fucked.”

  Without letting go, Eli leaned closer. “Say that again.”

  Devan moaned. “You were the last man I fucked.”

  “Good.” Eli freed him, shifted down Devan’s body, and pulled his cock from his pants. “I’m going to make you scream.”

  The last time Devan had felt a hot mouth on his cock was over three years ago. Eli had been pumped up from a training session and needed to burn off some energy. He’d fallen to his knees in the kitchen, took Devan’s cock out and sucked him until he came. It had been fast and immensely satisfying. That was the night before Meg had miscarried for the second time.

  There wasn’t the same urgency tonight, but the frantic energy was simmering below the surface. Eli licked up the length of his shaft, taking a moment to tease the tip of his cock with his tongue. Devan clutched at the cushions, praying that nothing would happen to stop this. Eli fisted his cock and began to stroke it as he worked the tip with his mouth. He’d always known exactly how to get Devan off, where to touch him and how hard to press. Given how long it had been since he’d last done this, Devan was terrified he’d come too quickly and it would be over.

  “You’re shaking.” Eli ran his free hand across Devan’s stomach, teasing the rim of his belly button. “Close?”

  “Yes.” Devan squeezed his eyes shut. “Please.”

  “That’s something I forgot. You love to beg me in bed.” He slowed his strokes until they were so painfully slow, Devan wanted to cry. “Say it again.”

  “Please.” His voice was barely a whisper. “Please, Eli.”

  “That’s my boy. What I like to hear.” He lowered his head to Devan’s cock once more and began to suck in earnest.

  Muscles he’d lost control of shook harder than he thought possible. Heat from his balls spread through his lower body until it reached his lungs, making it difficult to breathe. There were no thoughts, no emotions, nothing but the surge of pleasure as his orgasm exploded. He started to cry out, but Eli reached up and covered his mouth with one hand. Devan bit down on the fleshy heel, knowing it was the only way to keep from screaming.

  As the waves of his orgasm subsided and he regained the ability to think once more, he placed a kiss to the part of Eli’s hand he’d no doubt hurt. “Sorry.”

  “Didn’t want you to wake the baby.” Come had slipped from Eli’s mouth, a light sheen glistening on his lips and chin. “Forgot how good you taste.”

  Devan thumped his head back on the cushion. “
Killing me.” He didn’t want this to be over. Neither the past nor the future mattered now, only this moment. “You next.”

  Eli didn’t move immediately, which was completely unlike him when it came to sex. “I don’t think I should.”

  “Why? Are you all right?” Just because Devan hadn’t been with anyone else over the years, he hadn’t assumed Eli was living the life of a monk. Still, if Eli had some sort of disease, then this was going to change a few things.

  “I’m fine. I . . . don’t deserve to be with you.”

  No, no, no, Devan did not want reality to kick in. Not yet. “Do you have a condom?”

  “In my wallet.”

  “Get it.”

  “No.”

  Devan huffed. “Fine, then.” Devan pushed at Eli until he was sitting on the couch. Ignoring the way he stared down at him, Devan opened up Eli’s pants. “There’s nothing wrong with me wanting to do this.”

  He wasn’t exactly sure who he was reassuring.

  The smell of Eli’s arousal hit Devan hard as he freed the cock. It made his mouth water and his heart pound. The tip of Eli’s cock was purple and leaking, which Devan knew meant he wouldn’t last long. He forced his other hand into Eli’s jogging pants and easily cupped Eli’s balls as he took his first taste.

  Eli groaned, his hand sliding into Devan’s hair before fisting it. “Shit.”

  It only took a few moments for him to fall into the rhythm he knew always worked. Down, up with a teasing flick of his tongue across the sensitive cockhead. Over and over he moved as he became reacquainted with the delicious sounds Eli made.

  “So hot when you suck me like that. I’d forgotten.” Eli rubbed a thumb along Devan’s temple and brushed his hair from his face.

  Devan hummed, increasing the suction, and tugged lightly on Eli’s balls. Ah, there it was, the little catch of breath that signaled Eli was close to coming. Keeping the pace exactly as it was, Devan did his best to memorize every second of this. He didn’t know if it would ever happen again.

  Eli tensed as the first splash of come covered Devan’s tongue. It was bitter and wonderful, almost exactly as he remembered it being. Eli’s body shook, his hard muscles quivering as he bit back his cries of pleasure. Devan waited as long as he could before pulling away. He leaned back against the couch and simply looked at Eli.