I push past them both and finally let myself breathe when I’m alone inside. I send Luke a quick text message letting him know I’ll be right down, not overlooking the fact that he didn’t text me to see what the holdup was. I bet he’s still stewing inside his own head over who knows what because he didn’t seem to want to open up about it. Now I’ve got a headache.
I pack a bag with the essentials and fly out the door. I find Luke in a much better mood. He even cracks a smile when I flop down inside. It’s not my most graceful entrance, but I’m ready to get the hell away from this place.
“Serena just left, she gave me a little wave, but you don’t look as happy. You alright?” It’s cute he notices my mood is off, but I don’t really want to get into it, especially because my mood change involves him.
“Yep, all good, let’s get out of here,” I say, trying to deflect the attention away from me. Two can play at the game of not giving all the details.
It feels like the ride to Luke’s takes forever, but it couldn’t have been more than a matter of minutes, as if traffic cleared the way for him tonight, which I’m grateful for. When we pull into Luke’s spot, his eyes dart to two cars parked next to his that normally are not there. He stares at the cars and his shoulders tense.
“Are you okay? Do you know them?” I nod in the direction of the two luxury vehicles, just like his. One a black Mercedes, the other a white BMW—they could all be matching in their slick sexiness.
“My brother and sister are here, apparently,” he says with clipped words.
“Oh, did you want to take me back to my apartment? I don’t want to be in your way,” I say, noticing how awkward the air between us got since seeing his family’s cars. Why doesn’t he want me to be around his family? I know he said he wanted better for me when Lisa caught us in a compromising position, but this is nothing like that. We have our clothes on for starters. Was that a lie when he said it?
“No, of course I don’t want to take you back to your apartment,” he says turning towards me, relaxing his shoulders and taking my face between his hands. He plants a kiss on my lips. “I’m glad you’re here to meet them.”
His words say one thing, but my gut is telling me he’s full of shit. However, I’m not about to question him. He said he wants me to meet them both, so I let myself out of the car and follow behind him as we walk to the elevator.
“Is there anything you want me to know about your siblings before we meet?”
He shoots me an irritated glare I’ve never seen him direct towards me before. “No. You want a warning or something?”
Okay that didn’t come out the way I meant.
“Don’t couples normally give each other a heads-up before they meet the family? What to expect or something? I’ve never done this before. I’m sorry.”
We are both tense, but before he can answer or acknowledge that I didn’t mean to sound like a bitch, the elevator door opens and we hear laughter from the front room. I relax at the sound of Lisa—she was kind to me—but Luke doesn’t look like he’s any more comfortable.
“Hey guys!” Lisa shoots up from the couch to embrace us both in hugs. “It’s so nice to see you again.”
“It’s nice to see you too!” I hug her back and I really mean it. It is nice to see a smiling face. My mind flashes back to her in the hospital and then flashes forward to what I see today—two completely different women..
“Hi,” an attractive man about my age sticks out his hand towards me, “I’m Eric.”
I extend my hand to take his strong grip. “Ariana, It’s nice to meet you.”
Staring between the three siblings I can’t get over how much they look like one another. You’d never miss the fact that they are related. It makes me sad to know I don’t have any family; just me, myself and I.
“Bro, you’re terrible with your introductions,” Eric says as he playfully punches Luke in the arm. Luke has been in a trance since we saw their cars.
“Sorry. This is Ariana,” he says pointing to me.
“Dude, are you serious? I’ve already introduced myself. Are you okay?” Eric teases. It’s kind of cute to see someone not affected by Luke’s strong stance; Eric is not the least bit intimidated.
“Okay, this is super awkward,” Lisa says, jumping to try to save this encounter, “want to help me get some drinks, Ariana?”
She doesn’t wait for my answer but walks towards the kitchen. I follow right behind her like a lost puppy dog with her tail between her legs. What is Luke’s problem? He’s not even trying to make me feel at ease with his family. Isn’t that what boyfriends are supposed to do? And he yet again just introduced me by name to his brother—not giving me any kind of title. Why does that keep pissing me off?
I don’t think I can handle all of this tonight, not after the day I had at the hospital with the little boy. I’m suddenly very tired and want to just tuck my head under the covers.
“Hey, snap out of it,” Lisa says, snapping her fingers in the air before returning to the iced tea pitcher she’s stirring. “What’s with you two tonight? You both seem off.”
“I have no idea,” I answer. I’m not sure if I can open up to Lisa but I really want someone to talk. “He started acting weird earlier when he picked me up from the hospital and his mood has not improved.”
“Maybe he had a rough day at work or something? Let’s take the iced tea in the room and see if we can salvage this situation,” Lisa says, cracking a smile at me. I like her—she’s trying to help me. And it’s greatly appreciated right about now.
“Boys, drink up.” Lisa puts down the tray with a pitcher and glasses.
Luke looks like a completely different person from just two minutes ago when I went into the kitchen. He’s sitting on the couch opposite Eric and he’s laughing at some crazy sounding story his brother is telling him. He appears relaxed and at ease. Luke makes eye contact with me, smiles, and then pats the spot next to him on the couch. Who is this Luke imposter?
I’m not about to question the change in front of his siblings. I take a seat right next to Luke and he puts his arm around me, pulling me in closer. Lisa sits down on the couch with Eric and we listen to him telling the rest of his story. Eric is really funny and animated, getting up and acting out his wild tale—it’s hard to take your eyes away from him.
The rest of the night goes like this: Eric entertains us with stories about law school and the latest girls he’s taking on dates. Just like his brother, he doesn’t seem to have ever been tied down to one girl—maybe that will change? They don’t talk about any family related things, instead staying in the present with recent stories. I don’t push for any information about the parents that I know they no longer have. Staring from one beautiful face to the next, I can’t help but to have so many questions swirling around in my head.
What happened to their parents?
What happened to them in foster care?
Who took care of these three children?
“You better get that girl of yours to bed—she looks like she’s about to fall asleep right there. Which if I wasn’t such a nice person, I’d be insulted she ignored my best story,” Eric laughs.
I quickly come back to reality, realizing I was off in my own little world trying to figure them out. I guess I’ll have to wait until Luke feels comfortable enough with me to let me into his world. He’s not ready now? That hurts my heart a little bit. I wanted Luke to know all about the baggage I bring; however, he doesn’t feel the same about his own demons.
Lisa and Eric hug us both goodbye and then it’s eerily quiet in the penthouse without them. Luke takes my hand and we walk towards his bedroom together. I throw on the satin pajamas I brought as he strips down to his boxer briefs and we crawl under the covers. Both lying on our backs facing the white ceiling, neither of us has said a word since his siblings left. I really don’t want to be the one to break the silence, I want him to say something … anything, damn it. Clear up the confusion of this evening for me.
Helpless.
Chapter eighteen
Waking up the next morning to an empty bed seems to be a pattern here. A pattern I’m quickly learning I’d like to change. I jump out of bed on a mission to find the guy who seems to be avoiding me. Searching all the rooms, I come up empty. What the hell is going on? It’s not until I enter the kitchen that I see a green post-it note stuck to the fancy coffee maker—
A,
I had to rush to the office for a work-related emergency. I’ll call you tonight.
L
Okay, back it up … no terms of endearment?
No apology?
No, nothing?
Ugh. Throwing the note into the trash feels just like the moment with his business card. I head back to the bedroom to pack up my stuff. I hit the Driver app on my phone and wait until I get a notification that someone is here to pick up me. I make it out of the elevator and through the front lobby before Ryan meets me just outside the front doors.
“Ariana, good morning miss! I’m here to take you back to your apartment,” he says with his usual upbeat attitude. I surely don’t want to drag him into whatever this is between Luke and me, but I really don’t want anything from Luke right now, including a ride from his driver.
“Thank you so much Ryan, but I already have a ride,” I say spotting the girl whose photo showed up on my app idling at the curb. I dash inside her car before Ryan can protest. I’m sure he’ll let Luke know I blew him off by getting into a random car, but I could give two flying fucks what Luke thinks right now. Get me the hell away from here, pronto.
“Rough night?” Adele, the driver, asks as she looks through the rearview mirror at me in the back of her Ford Edge. Normally, I’d be insulted at a comment like this but she hit the nail on the head.
“You couldn’t be more right.” I give her my address and we take off. She doesn’t ask me any more questions and I appreciate the silence.
I’m grateful Serena isn’t home when I enter the apartment. I don’t feel like answering any of her questions, which she’d have plenty of especially after our hallway exchange. I can’t believe that was just last night—it feels like so much has happened in between the time I was last here. So much uncertainty.
But I can’t let this day go to waste, and I certainly don’t want to dwell over a guy. I am not a dweller. The last time I felt pity for myself and dwelled was when I was raped, when my choices were stripped from me just like my clothes. Fuck no that will not be the case over some man.
Come on Ariana, you don’t need a man to make you happy.
Damn straight … or so I tell myself.
With this man, it just feels so different, or maybe felt is a better word? Am I romanticizing what I have with Luke when it’s not even really like that between us? Did I make up all these feelings I thought we had for each other? When did I become this girl? Ugh, it makes me feel sick. I can’t do this: sit and stew over questions I’ll never get the answers to.
I practically bolt to the shower and jump in before the water even has a chance to warm up. I’m washing this experience away, and I’m going to go do something fun with my day. As I’m blow-drying my hair straight, I hear the doorbell ring. I clearly am not expecting anyone—maybe it’s a delivery?
With my hair still half wet I walk to the front door and look through the peephole. Who I see shocks me.
Lisa.
What the hell is she doing there?
“I know you are on the other side of this door wondering what the hell I’m doing here. Let me in,” she says, laughing and eyeing the peephole back at me. Do I want to let her in? “You have no choice.”
What the hell. I know I was not saying all of that out loud. I swing the door open. “Are you a mind reader or something?”
“Nope, I’m just pretty good at reading people,” she says, pushing past me into the apartment.
“Come in, make yourself at home,” I say, indicating she’s already doing that. “Do you want a cup of coffee or something? Water?”
“I’ll take a water, thank you.”
I head to the kitchen with her hot on my trail.
“Do you want to tell me what you are doing here?”
We both take seats at the kitchen table with our waters before she speaks. “I came to see how you’re doing. Last night Eric and I caught Luke off guard by showing up unannounced. We’re sorry about that. I know my brother, when something goes unplanned, he can be a bit … off. He likes to be in control of every situation. Last night he was not.” She laughs as if what she’s telling me is completely normal. “Are you okay?”
I take a swig of my water trying to stall before I answer her. This is so weird.
“Stop stalling,” Lisa teases me.
“Okay, you’re going to have to stop with the mind reading voodoo. You’re creeping me out,” I say. I take another sip of water to calm my nerves. “To be honest, I don’t even know what to tell you. I was trying to put this all behind me before you showed up.”
“Behind you? Why?” Her face goes from lighthearted to concerned in an instant.
“Behind me because I don’t think I’m cut out to deal with … someone having to be in control or else they ‘go off’ … as you say. That makes me feel uneasy and uncertain.”
She folds her hands on top of the table, very motherly, before saying, “I understand what you’re saying. I really do. Maybe I misspoke. I don’t want to see you give up on him before he lets you in; I just have this feeling that he will. I’ve never seen him look at another person like he looks at you. Maybe one other person, but it’s not the same.”
She must read the look of confusion mixed with jealously across my face. I thought he didn’t have any other girlfriends before me?
“Calm down with that look,” she says. “I meant he used to look at our mother with such admiration and love. I see that when he looks at you.”
That’s not what I was expecting to hear her say. I don’t know the kind of relationship he had with either of his parents, but I feel a little better knowing it was a loving relationship with his mom.
“I’m sorry to hear about your parents.”
“He told you about our parents?” Her jaw drops. She stares at me with a look of utter shock. Was I not supposed to say that?
“Uhh … he just told me that they were dead and that you went to foster homes, no real details.” I fumble over my words, not sure if I’m supposed to know this important detail in their lives.
Her jaw goes back to its rightful place but she keeps staring now, tilting her head to the side as if she’s really taking me in. “See, I knew you were something special to him. We don’t really talk about what happened to our parents; he let you into his world. It may seem small because he gave you very little information, but that means a lot coming from him. Any information at all about our parents is a big deal. He doesn’t like to talk about them, ever.” Lisa looks down at her hands, cupping her water.
It throws me for a loop that this woman who was so confident one minute ago is now avoiding eye contact with me completely. What happened to their parents?
“Do you not like talking about them either?” I ask my question carefully, trying not to pry too deeply into her life, but I mean hello, she came over unannounced. Wait, how does she even know where I live?
“Finally, you’re wondering how I found out where you live? I asked Ryan.”
“Dude, if you pull this mind reading shit with me one more time I’m going to punch you.”
She tosses her head back in a fit of laugher. “I’m sorry! Anyway I should
be going now considering I showed up when you were probably about to do something. Thank you for the water.”
I see Lisa to the door, and as she’s walking out she turns back towards me near the elevator and says, “Don’t shut him out. He’s stubborn and he might take more time than most men, but he’s battling something fierce and I know you can help him. I just feel it.”
And just like that she’s in and out of my apartment causing a whirlwind in my mind in a matter of minutes.
It doesn’t escape me she’s the second person to utter words very similar to me. First the fairy tarot card reader and now Lisa … the mind reader. What’s with these supernatural freaks? They can leave me the hell alone!
This day—as weird as it is—is not going to go to waste. I refuse to sit on my ass on my day off waiting for a man, any man, to “call me tonight” as his lame ass post-it note said. Bundled up in my winter jacket, I head over to the Art Institute of Chicago. I’m greeted by two giant lion statutes out front donning holiday wreaths around their green necks—a Chicago tradition.
Christmas is right around the corner. In the past I knew the date was near and would try to put the holiday out of my head—it only brings up pain from the past—but right now I don’t feel anything about it.
I look towards those silly lions and smile. This time it’s different. I finally let someone else in and now the weight of what happened to me isn’t so heavy to carry around. Before telling Luke, it was like a noose around my neck; now maybe it can be a holiday wreath too.
Before getting hypothermia standing outside on a cold night, I head inside to browse around aimlessly. I walk from room to room, collection to collection, just taking it all in. I want something to jump out at me, as a sign or something, but how childish does that seem? A sign, Ariana? You are not supernatural; I should have brought Lisa.
Nothing ‘speaks to me’ and I find myself standing next to people staring at the same paintings or statues, hearing them “oh” and “ah,” but I’m left wondering—what the hell do they see in this crap?
The Power of Salvation Page 14
