“Thanks, Andy. I sort of felt like I was stealing it out from under you, but I’m glad to hear you aren’t upset about it.”
“Not at all,” he said fiercely. “I’m thrilled with my job. Accounting works for me.”
“Books work for me,” I countered with a smile.
“Then we’re both getting what we want. Perfect ending.”
I smiled and left his office, ready to start my day. READ was so close to being mine. It was three days to wait to talk to the bank and I knew I’d go crazy waiting, but I had a good feeling about the whole thing. Like it was going to work out.
I got lost in the rest of the day. Customers came and went, selecting their next favorite book and carrying it out of the store like it held the secrets to a perfect life. In some cases, I knew the books did. I always viewed books as a gateway to the promised land. A way to see how the other half lives, whether it was the half with more or less than us, or the half that lived on the edge or within a box of safety, or the half that wasn’t real but became real for us. A book allowed us see what was possible, even if it was within the confines of our imagination.
And when we felt at our worst was when we needed to remember that the most. Which was exactly what I tried to do as the day pressed on. Andy was going to be a huge asset to me and everyone was doing what they could to make one of my dreams come true. If I couldn’t get READ it would change things, but I was confident it would work out. Even if I couldn’t get a loan right away, I hoped Pam and George would let me have a year to save more and try again.
It was a tough time to be in the physical book business, although there were still plenty of people who loved to hold a book in their hand. I loved my ereader, but I knew I’d never give up physical books. Being able to smell that fresh cut paper, to hear that crack as the spine bent for the first time, to feel the texture of the cover beneath my fingers… I’d never want to lose that.
By the time my work day was done I was more than ready for my girls’ night out. Tuesday had become my favorite day of the week, especially after a day like I’d had. It was highly emotional to have something I’d wanted for so long within my reach, but not know if I could close my fingers around it and hold on.
I had two months to wait until READ was mine, assuming I got a loan. No matter what happened, in two months my life would change in ways I couldn’t even begin to imagine. And I wasn’t prepared to let it happen without having a say.
Just like I wasn’t prepared to walk outside and see Connor Lee leaning against my car.
Six
“What are you doing here?” I blurted before I could think. It certainly wasn’t the friendliest greeting, but I wasn’t feeling overly friendly. He’d danced with me three days ago, bolted after he almost kissed me, then showed up at my job after the craziest day I’d had in seven years. Friendly wasn’t even within range for me.
“I wanted to apologize for the other night. For leaving like I did.”
I shrugged and crossed my arms over my chest. My black wool and fleece coat was warm, but the wind whipped straight through my jeans. I’d forgotten a hat so my hair was a mess of dark blonde whips, stinging me with every strike.
Connor looked effortless in his faded jeans and grey wool jacket. Grey gloves covered his hands and dangled a too familiar box.
“Is that from Bite Me!?” I asked when I saw the pink box with the unmistakeable cupcake instructing, or maybe taunting, the customer to do exactly what the name said. I’d never asked Charlie where she came up with the name, but as I stood before Connor, not feeling too warm and fuzzy about his unannounced arrival, I understood the sentiment behind the name.
Connor nodded. “You mentioned she was a friend of yours. I figured if I was going to make it up to you for ditching you at the wedding, I’d better bring something that’d make you want to listen.”
I eyed him curiously, wondering why he cared and wondering what he had in that box. I could tell by the size of it that it held four cupcakes. Charlie made about ten different flavors on any given day so the chances of Connor selecting my favorite was somewhere between slim and none. I pulled my lip between my teeth to stop me from asking what kind he had. My teeth were starting to chatter from the cold, but I wasn’t going to give up that easily.
“I also have coffee in my car. If you want some coffee, and these cupcakes, we can sit in there and talk.”
Talk? With Connor Lee? The rumors in high school were that Connor Lee went for a drive plenty of times, but he was more of a fan of the backseat than sitting up front and talking.
Of course that’d never happen with me. Not only could I not easily fit in a backseat, but Connor Lee wouldn’t want to bury himself between my legs in one.
Or anywhere else.
“What do you want to talk about?” I asked warily.
“Whatever you want. You look like something’s bothering you. We could talk about that.”
I narrowed my eyes at him, but he just grinned. Maybe it was a lucky guess or maybe he was psychic, but maybe it would be good to talk to someone who wasn’t emotionally involved in my situation.
“Fine,” I huffed, not willing to give him even a little bit.
He grinned at me, his teeth almost as white as the snow that covered the ground. His hand rested against my lower back, the heat penetrating my coat and burning his imprint straight to my skin. I hadn’t let myself think about him much since Saturday night, well, except all day Sunday, all Sunday night, and Monday morning while I listened to him on the radio. But since I found out about Pam and George retiring, my focus has been there. Instead of on the man who was leading me toward a brand new black Dodge Charger. Growing up with two younger sisters there weren’t a lot of conversations about cars around our house, but I knew a Dodge Charger. My dad had one when I was little and the new ones were his dream car.
Plus, they were sort of hot.
It figured Connor Lee would drive one.
He led me around to the passenger side and I realized the car was running, which meant it would be warm, unlike Betty. His car was definitely the better pick. I eased onto the soft leather seat, surrounded by the warmth of the car, and Connor set the box of cupcakes on my lap. He closed the door with a smile and jogged around to his side as I opened the box.
“What the hell?” I asked aloud when I saw the four mocha cupcakes.
“Those are your favorite, right?” Connor asked when he got in and saw me staring into the box. “The coffee next to you is yours, too. Two creams, five sugars.”
“How did you do this?” I asked, suddenly a little leery of being in the car with him. Was he a stalker? And why the hell would he stalk me?
“Your friend, Charlie? She told me those cupcakes were your favorite and how you liked your coffee. I figured it was the least I owed you.”
“Why?” I asked as I lifted a cupcake from the box and passed it to Connor. He accepted it with a grin and waited for me to get one for myself.
“First, why I left. Saturday night was my rotation at the radio station. I do a morning show, but to make a full schedule, I pick up some weekend hours too. I wanted to be at the wedding, but knew I couldn’t stay for the whole thing. Brady understood, but I never got a chance to tell you. When your friend pulled you away I realized what time it was and had to go.”
I took a bite of my cupcake and heaven crashed over my tongue. Charlie was an artist with frosting. And cake. Her mocha cupcakes were mocha flavored cake and mocha flavored icing with chocolate shavings on the top. Piped inside was a whipped cream flavored icing that mellowed out the intense coffee flavor, but still let it shine.
Everything was better with cupcakes. Always. Even what sounded like a fairly lame excuse from Connor was acceptable with a mocha cupcake to ease the lie.
“How do you know Brady?”
“He was on my show a few months back. It helped him get some good press for his business and worked for me. He runs a good gym. We were talking about being healthy without being s
issy about it. You know, like none of that gluten free or yoga crap. Brady’s gym works for pretty much anyone, but you can go and lift or run and not feel like you’re compromising who you are.”
“Are you a member?”
Connor nodded. “I am now. After the show. He was pretty convincing about his no judgement policy and I figured it sounded like a good place.”
Connor took a bite of the cupcake and closed his eyes. A groan tore from his throat and my panties got a little damp. Connor Lee, in a car, groaning in ecstasy… Never thought I’d be there to witness it.
Of course it was a whole different sort of ecstasy than I was thinking about, but still.
“Damn, that’s good,” he mumbled around the frosting coating his tongue. He licked his lips and I felt like a teenager all over again, lusting after the guy who didn’t know I existed. “No wonder you’re friends with Charlie. I think she just became my favorite person.”
I knew feeling jealous didn’t do me any good, but I couldn’t help it. Charlie was amazing. She could bake like no one else I’d ever met. Sam joked many times that if she was a lesbian she would have gone after Charlie in a heartbeat. For Connor to like Charlie wasn’t a surprise.
I’d just always assumed Connor didn’t like plump girls, or women. Not that I knew anything about his taste in women, or anything else about the man sitting next to me. Everything I knew about him was eleven years old, from a time when I didn’t really know him. Sitting in his car and sharing cupcakes still didn’t mean I knew him. Maybe he’d evolved and was attracted to overweight women. Maybe Charlie was his dream woman.
Or maybe I was just being ridiculous.
After all, it wasn’t like Charlie ousted me as as his favorite person. I never made the list to start with.
“So,” he interrupted my thoughts, “tell me what’s bothering you.”
“Nothing,” I said quickly, shoving a bite of cupcake in my mouth to prevent me from saying more. The clock on his dashboard shined 4:21, meaning I had an hour and thirty nine minutes before I was supposed to be at Bite Me! I wasn’t going to spend that time telling Connor Lee about all my worries. Nope, I was going to finish my cupcakes and coffee then go home for dinner and meet my friends. They would listen to me. And I wouldn’t feel so stupid about it.
Connor’s hand cupped my jaw and gently turned my head toward him. His blue eyes pierced me, not speaking, just watching me. I chewed slowly, drawing out every last second. Whether I was trying to make our eye contact last or my cupcake, I wasn’t sure, but I was taking my sweet ass time.
I swallowed heavily, feeling the sugary treat slide past the lump in my throat and settle in my stomach like lead. I didn’t want to be in the car with him. It felt like he could see too much, like he knew too much. I was the one who’d basically been a stalker in high school, not him, but sitting in his car and staring into his eyes that were too caring for the person I knew him to be, not the one I always hoped he’d be, I felt like he knew me better than I’d ever imagined.
Flashes of Connor in high school flipped past my mind. Running down the football field cradling the ball before leaping into the end zone. A quick flick of his wrists to score a goal on the ice and a wild swing of his stick to score on the lacrosse field.
And then there were all the off field memories I had of him. Leaning over Emily as he kissed her senseless against the lockers. Him walking the halls, high-fiving his friends. Connor crossing his front lawn to go inside, brushing his too long hair out of his sad eyes.
Yeah, maybe I was a bit of a stalker in high school. It’s not like he ever saw me. Connor’s dad did something that required a lot of travel. He never went to any of Connor’s games. His mom wasn’t ever around either, although I didn’t know why. Growing up with two sisters and parents who seemed to be around more than not, I couldn’t imagine a life without siblings or attentive parents.
Connor had friends though. Most weekends after games someone would throw a party, and I heard Connor was always the center of it. A girl on one arm, a beer in the other. The rumor was always that Connor’s parents didn’t care what he did so he’d stay out all night, drinking, partying, and sleeping with whoever was willing that night.
Needless to say, his high school years were very different than mine. I spent most of my time with my family, choosing to stay home with my sisters most nights or dragging them to watch Connor play when they were willing. As much as I loved my family, I secretly longed for the feeling of popularity, and for the attention of a guy like Connor.
But sitting in his car, I wasn’t so sure I wanted it anymore. At least not the adult me. I didn’t really know him. What if I didn’t like him?
Oh, it didn’t matter. I’d always be curious about Connor Lee.
“Did you know you knit your eyebrows together when you’re thinking really hard? And you chew on your lip.”
His fingers rubbed between my eyes and they slipped closed. I felt the tension of my day fading and rested my head against the soft black leather seat. My breathing slowed and I relaxed for the first time in days.
“My bosses are retiring,” I admitted. “I want to buy the store.”
“And your bosses aren’t going to sell to you?”
I sighed, wondering why he cared and why I felt the need to talk to him. Sitting in his car, the smell of the leather mixed with the spiciness of Connor threaded through me, and it brought me a sense of comfort, a feeling of peace. Carrie was the only one who knew the truth, not even my sisters had been told my dream of owning READ, but for some reason I wanted to share it with Connor.
“No, they want to sell it to me. I just don’t know if I have enough money. Plus, it’s a lot of responsibility. With them there I always had a safety net.”
“You’ll do great,” Connor said without hesitation.
I laughed mirthlessly. “I’m not so sure about that. I’ve never run a business. I was talking with the owner’s son this morning about all the things I need to learn before I take over and my head started swimming. Of course that means I need to get the loan first. If I can’t get a loan none of the other stuff matters.”
“”You’ll get it. If you’re even going for it then you’ve got money saved up and I’m sure the bank will be thrilled to work with you. To know they’ll be making a deal with someone who will pay the bills.”
I sighed heavily, hoping he was right. His fingers continued rubbing between my eyes, something that was more soothing than I ever thought possible. Instead of being self conscious sitting next to Connor Lee, I felt myself slipping further and further away from my worries. I was relaxed, content even. I still felt lost as far as my career went, but I was okay with it.
Connor’s finger moved over my forehead and his hand tunneled through my hair. He massaged my head softly, working down over my scalp to the tight muscles in my neck. A moan slipped from my lips, unconsciously, and I felt my cheeks heat with embarrassment. Connor froze for a second, barely long enough for me to notice, then his hand moved again, cupping my cheek.
I wondered for a brief second what he was doing, then I felt his breath on my face, followed by his lips on mine.
Connor Lee was kissing me!
My teenaged self was doing a happy dance inside, while the rest of me was getting lost in the soft press of his delicious lips against mine. A hint of coffee and chocolate from the mocha clung to his lips. His hand slid around to my neck, and he leaned over me further, his tongue tracing the seam of my lips.
My lips parted for his tongue without hesitation. As his tongue swept through my mouth I tasted the coffee on his breath and the mocha on his tongue. I wanted more and eagerly met his kiss with my own excitement. His other hand went to my waist and held me against the soft leather of the seat.
Wait.
Leather seat. Mocha cupcakes. Coffee. Connor Lee. Me? Something wasn’t right.
My hands moved to his shoulders and pushed.
Hard.
Seven
I gawked at Conno
r, his eyes half-lidded, his lips still slightly parted, and his hands hovering above me. He looked like a man deep in lust. He looked like he wanted me.
But I didn’t know him. The Connor Lee of my childhood was not the same man I saw before me. This man was older, wiser, and more experienced. Plus, I had no way of knowing anything about him other than what he’d told me.
It was sweet of him to show up with cupcakes and coffee, but he acted like he was much more familiar with me than he really was. Like I was someone he knew well, when the truth was we didn’t know each other at all. The first time we’d spoken was only three days ago. And every time I was around him he treated me like he knew me.
But he didn’t.
Before he could say anything, or my teenaged self could stop me, I bolted. My purse was already in my lap, but I left behind the coffee and the cupcakes, needing to flee before I did something I couldn’t take back. Something like sleep with Connor Lee in the back of his car.
Not that I would have actually done that, but my teenage self was quietly suggesting it when his lips were pressed against mine. The idea of anything else of his pressed against mine was more tempting than I wanted to admit.
The cold rush of air when I ran to my car was enough to remind me that Connor Lee was not interested in me, no matter how much evidence pointed to the contrary. Connor Lee was out of my league in every way possible. Looks, check. Career, check. Ability to attract the opposite sex, check.
He had to be screwing with me for some reason, and I wasn’t going to let him screw me to prove a point. I fell into my car and tugged my seat belt around me as I turned the key in the ignition. He wasn’t going to chase me, but I wasn’t going to sit around and wait for it either. Connor Lee was going to be dust in my rearview mirror, literally and figuratively.
Plump & Pretty Page 5
