by Elle Kennedy
Unfortunately, she wasn’t Jessica, was she? Nope, she was Holly. And in Holly’s life, there were always consequences.
Case in point—the man staring at her from across the sand.
“Holly, this is awesome,” Zoe gushed, jerking her out of her thoughts. “He’s so freaking hot, I’m getting aroused just looking at him. I can’t believe the two of you hooked up! Give me details, girl!”
Holly had no intention of revealing anything, and fortunately she didn’t have to, because Vanessa, the owner of the catering company, was signaling the two waitresses to get back to work.
Of course, getting back to work meant having to deliver the tray of beers to the hottie table, where she’d have to look into the eyes of the man she’d fucked in a closet and explain why she’d run out on him.
Which only confirmed what she’d already accepted years ago—when it came to her life, she could never catch a break.
Chapter Two
“Is it just me or can you totally see through that waitress’s shirt?” Ryan asked, his gaze glued to the brunette who approached their table with very reluctant steps.
Carson couldn’t tear his gaze from her either. He still couldn’t believe she was actually here. Obviously she worked for the catering company, but a part of him couldn’t help wondering if fate was responsible. Hadn’t he just decided that it was time to seek out something more meaningful when it came to women?
Well, who better to explore it with than the woman he’d had the best sex of his life with?
“Oh, I can definitely see through her shirt,” Matt agreed with a little grin. “And I most certainly like what I’m seeing.”
“Hey…” Ryan squinted. “Shit, that’s the girl from the club.” He immediately stared at Carson. “Didn’t you—” He stopped abruptly as Jessica finally reached the table.
Although she was as pretty as he remembered, she looked nothing like the sexy seductress who’d rubbed herself against him on that dance floor. This Jessica seemed shyer, more wholesome, and Carson’s curiosity instantly piqued.
“Hi,” she finally said, awkwardly standing in front of them with a tray full of beers in her hands. “Are you boys having a nice time?”
“We are now,” Ryan muttered, his eyes never leaving her chest.
Carson felt a spark of irritation. Yeah, you could see the outline of her nipples perfectly through that thin white blouse, but he didn’t like that Ryan was ogling her. Jessica deserved more respect than that.
He locked his gaze with hers and smiled faintly. “Good to see you again, Jessica.”
She swallowed, her cheeks reddening. “Um, yeah, you too…um…”
“Carson,” he filled in, bristling. She didn’t even remember his goddamn name?
“I remember,” she said, obviously reading his mind. Her hands trembled as she started lifting bottles off her tray and setting them down on the table.
Carson ignored the beer she placed in front of him, his eyes never leaving hers. Her nervousness practically radiated from her pores, and he could tell she was both embarrassed and uncomfortable. He wanted to say something, ask her why she’d hurried off that night, ask her if they could talk when the reception ended, but all of his friends were watching him curiously and he couldn’t seem to form any words.
A short silence fell, until Jessica finally cleared her throat and said, “Um, okay, so I’ll be back in a while to check on you guys.” And then she whisked off like a scared bunny.
Another silence.
“Well. That was awkward,” Will finally said, his voice dry. He reached for his beer and took a long sip. “What exactly happened at the club that night, man?”
“Nothing,” Carson muttered.
He hadn’t told any of the guys about the closet fuck. The encounter had totally messed him up, made him reevaluate his lifestyle, and he hadn’t wanted to talk about it with anyone, especially guys like Ryan and Matt, who were still so hooked on the notion of casual sex.
“Nothing?” Ryan echoed. “Then you won’t mind if I ask her out, right? Because, jeez, she is hot.”
Carson clenched his fists. “Don’t even think about it.”
Ryan nodded. “That’s what I thought.” He grinned. “Nothing, my ass.”
He was watching her again. Holly could feel his eyes on her as she handed a glass of red wine to the mother of the bride. She had to force herself not to turn her head. Lord, that gaze was burning her up. Her skin felt so hot she was tempted to sprint toward the waves and dive in, but she doubted the cold water would lower her body temperature. He’d been sending those sizzling glances her way for three hours and she was past the point of cooling down. She was so turned on she could barely breathe.
She knew he wanted to talk to her. She could see it every time she delivered another tray of beers to his table. But each time she walked over there he just stared at her with those killer blue eyes, a million questions on his face. Well, she didn’t want to answer any questions. Wasn’t the point of one-night-stands that you weren’t supposed to make excuses? She’d been upset that night, she’d wanted to forget about Steve, so she’d propositioned a stranger and had sex with him in a closet. Then she’d crashed down to earth after a spectacular orgasm, realized what she’d done, become mortified and ran away. Why couldn’t they just leave it at that?
And why wouldn’t her clit stop throbbing, damn it? It was getting hard to walk with that ache between her legs.
Fortunately, the party was dwindling. Most of the guests had wished the bride and groom well and headed out. Even the happy couple had left. The only people who remained were a few couples laughing over wine, and the four SEALS.
Zoe walked over to her. “Vanessa said to start packing up.”
“Thank God. My feet are killing me.”
They headed over to the buffet area. Holly spent the next twenty minutes wrapping up the leftovers, gathering empty bottles, and making countless trips to and from the catering van. When she finally finished, she was relieved to find that everyone was gone. The tables on the beach had been folded up, the guests had taken off, and only catering staff remained.
Her sexy SEAL was nowhere to be seen, which obviously meant he didn’t care enough to question Jessica and had decided to call it a night.
That should have been a relief, and yet a part of her was a little disappointed. Carson was probably the best-looking man she’d ever met in her life. Definitely the best lay of her life—not that she had a lot to compare him to. She’d only slept with two other men—Steve, and a boy she’d dated in her senior year of high school.
She shouldn’t care that Carson had left. They were nothing more than a couple of strangers who’d happened to have sex one night. She didn’t know him. He didn’t know her.
But…
Darn it, she’d liked the way she’d felt that night with him. She’d liked being Jessica, not thinking about how much she disliked her life, not worrying about having to take care of anyone but herself. She’d been in control, lived for the moment, seized the pleasure. And tonight, with Carson sitting at that table watching her all night, she’d felt that way again. She’d forgotten about being late for work, about her stupid broken bra, about everything but the fact that a really sexy man was undressing her with his eyes.
Oh well. She was foolish to think he could actually have been interested in her. She was too short, her boobs too small, her personality too sarcastic. Normally it didn’t bother her. Because along with all those other irritating toos, she was also too busy cleaning up her siblings’ messes and helping them with their even messier love lives to care about her own.
“I’m heading out,” Zoe called. “You coming?”
Holly walked over to her friend. “I think I’ll stick around here for a bit longer. I have a feeling if I go home I’ll find a dozen SOS messages on my machine from the delinquents.”
Zoe sighed. “You’ve got to stop letting your family dominate your life, Hol. You’re twenty-four. You should be havin
g fun, enjoying your hotness and screwing tons of guys.”
At the moment, everything Zoe said sounded like pure and total heaven. Too bad it wasn’t going to happen. With her job, her family and the culinary course she was taking, it was tough enough finding time to eat, let alone screw.
“You going to be okay out here alone?” Zoe asked, gesturing to the deserted stretch of beach.
“I’ve got my cell and my pepper spray. I’ll be fine.”
Zoe leaned forward and gave her a quick hug. “I’ll see you Sunday at the Grier wedding.”
Holly watched her friend disappear up the steps leading to the lot, then turned around and walked toward the shoreline. She kicked off her sandals, dug her toes into the sand and breathed in the warm night air. God, she loved the ocean. Nothing relaxed her more than the sight of the waves lapping against the shore, and the sound of gulls squawking as they soared over the calm turquoise water.
But tonight, not even her favorite view could make her feel better. She should’ve pulled Carson aside and talked to him. She’d served his table all evening. She’d seen him staring at her. Seen the undisguised interest and curiosity in his eyes. The lust. And instead of doing something about it, she’d kept walking up to him like a robot, handing him a beer and hurrying away. No wonder she had no luck with men. These days a woman needed to be proactive, not scurry away like a skittish animal whenever a hot guy looked at her.
The sound of footsteps put an end to her self-pity party. She figured it was someone from the catering company who’d forgotten something, but when she turned around, her gaze collided with a pair of sexy blue eyes. Carson was back.
He strode up to her, his muscles rippling beneath the dress whites he wore. What was it about a man in uniform that never failed to make a woman’s heart pound?
“You’re still here,” he said then winced as if he hated that he’d just stated the obvious. “I was waiting for you in the parking lot. I got worried when you didn’t show.”
Holly’s pulse sped up. “You were waiting for me?”
He nodded then raked a hand through his dirty-blond hair. “We never got a chance to, um, catch up. And I was going to offer you a ride home.”
“I have a car.” I have a car? That’s all she could come up with? How about, I’m sorry I left you in a supply closet after you gave me the best orgasm of my life?
“Okay. Then let’s just do the catching up then.” He offered a small smile. “So how’ve you been, Jessica?”
Jessica. Now there was a nice splash of reality if she’d ever heard one.
“That’s…um…kind of not my name,” she confessed.
“It’s not your name,” he repeated flatly.
“No.”
“You lied?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” he finally demanded.
“I…” She released a long breath. “I wasn’t in the best state of mind that night. See, I’d just gotten dumped by my boyfriend, and then my sister dragged me to a club, and I was upset and tired of my life, tired of me.” She finished with a rueful shrug. “I guess I just wanted to be someone else for the night.”
“Do you do that often, pretend to be someone else?” There was a touch of sarcasm to his husky voice. “How many other guys have you seduced and then deserted?”
She sighed. “You were the first.”
“I see.”
It was obvious from the skeptical look in his blue eyes that he totally didn’t see, but she didn’t feel like explaining herself further. Yes, she’d lied. Yes, she’d seduced him. But he sure hadn’t been complaining when she’d thrown herself at him, had he? Oh no. He’d been right there with her, groping her ass and dragging her into the supply closet for a sexual tryst. He hadn’t even known her, for Pete’s sake. Any guy who had sex with a random stranger wasn’t one to judge.
Carson must have reached the same conclusion as her, because the sarcastic glint left his eyes and suddenly he cast her a sexy little grin. “It was a pretty fun time, wasn’t it?”
Fun? Talk about the understatement of the year. Before she could stop it, memories of that night rushed back to her. How warm and firm Carson’s lips had felt pressed against her own, the hardness of his chest under her fingers, his thick cock sliding deep inside her, making her cry out with pleasure. She’d never come so hard in her life, and just thinking about the orgasm caused her thighs to tremble.
God, she wanted to feel that way again. Wild and free and desirable.
“It was amazing,” she corrected.
He smiled again, his eyes filling with desire and darkening to a sensual tint. “Definitely.”
“Want to do it again?”
Oh boy—where had that come from? She immediately slammed her mouth closed, her cheeks heating with embarrassment.
Carson slanted his head, looking both intrigued and baffled, but he didn’t respond, just stared at her for a moment as if trying to figure out if she was serious. She took his silence as an opportunity to stare at him, and she liked everything she saw. He was so unbelievably attractive in that Navy uniform. The white shirt molded to his broad, rippled chest, and the pants clung to his trim hips and long muscular legs, hugging his crotch in a way that revealed he was very much aroused.
She couldn’t help it—she fixated on that long, thick ridge. She remembered how perfectly he’d fit inside her, how well they’d moved together, and the craziest urge overtook her. She wanted to touch him and stroke him and—
Her hand clearly had a mind of its own.
“Whoa,” Carson murmured, his gaze instantly dropping south.
Holly ran her fingers over his tantalizing erection, lightly applying pressure with her palm and rubbing.
“You do realize that—” he sucked in a breath, “—you’re, uh, you know, you’re doing that.”
She blinked, suddenly snapping out of whatever sexual trance she’d gone into and realizing what she was doing. She quickly withdrew her hand, her face scorching. “Oh gosh, I’m sorry. I just…” There were no words. No matter what she said, this man was going to think she was a sex-crazed psycho.
He released a choked laugh. “Is this a habit, touching men you hardly know?”
She turned away, so mortified she could barely breathe. What was the matter with her? She didn’t normally behave this way with guys. Truth be told, she didn’t have much experience with initiating sexual encounters. She didn’t have much experience, period. Her life was too chaotic, and since she was always in control when it came to work and family, she’d always been happy letting the men in her life take control in the bedroom.
“I’m sorry,” she said again, keeping her gaze on the waves lapping against the shore.
She heard his pants rustle as he moved closer, and then his fingers were touching her chin, turning it so she had no choice but to look at him. He studied her carefully, assessed her, as if he were trying to peer right into her soul. “Who are you?” he finally asked, his voice laced with intrigue. “What’s your real name?”
She swallowed. “Holly. Holly Lawson.”
Carson’s mouth quirked. “Holly. Suits you better than Jessica.” He stroked her jaw, his fingers so warm and gentle she almost purred in pleasure. “Why did you sleep with me the night at the club?”
“I already told you, I was upset. I wanted to forget.”
“Forget what?”
“My ex.” She let out a shaky breath. “Myself.”
“Why on earth would you want to forget yourself?”
“Because…because…sometimes I get tired of myself,” she blurted out. “I’ve been such a good girl all my life, Carson. I’m the perfect, obedient daughter, the perfect sister. I take care of everyone in my family—my brothers and sister, my dad, who can’t even go grocery shopping on his own. My mom…she used to do everything, but…” She blinked back the tears stinging her eyelids. “She died two years ago.”
“I’m sorry,” Carson said softly, running his fingers along her cheek.
“Me too. I miss her. And after she died, I got cast into the Mom role. I’m the youngest, for God’s sake, and yet somehow I have to take care of everyone else. So that’s what I wanted to forget, okay? I just wanted one night where I didn’t have to think about my family, or work, or being responsible and good. I wanted to be selfish and wild and bad.”
Holly shook her head in irritation. “I still want that. And you being here makes me want it even more. The night with you was the best time I’ve had in so long.”
She couldn’t believe she was spilling her guts to him, but it felt good letting it all out. For two years she’d focused on making sure everyone in her family was happy, and she was tired of it. Why couldn’t she think about her own happiness for once? What she wanted?
And perplexing as it was, what she wanted at the moment was Carson. She didn’t know anything about him, only that he was in the Navy, that he was drop-dead gorgeous, and that he had the power to set her body on fire. Did she really need to know anything more?
A strange sense of liberation flooded her body as her brain informed her that no, she didn’t. She was twenty-four years old, damn it. She was allowed to have a casual fling that didn’t lead to a relationship. Because at the moment, she didn’t want a relationship. Her last one had scarred her pretty badly, and besides, she was busy with work, busy with culinary school, busy playing mother hen to her family.
But that didn’t mean she had to be too busy for sex.
“I think…” She moistened her dry lips and met his gaze. “I think maybe we should have a fling.”
He raised his eyebrows. “A fling?”
Uncertainty tugged at her belly. “An affair then? I’m not sure what people call it, you know, not dating, but, um, spending a couple of weeks having sex with someone…”
“So you want to have sex with me, but not date me?”
She nodded.
A pained expression creased his handsome face. “Well, then, that might be a problem.”
