by Jan Drexler
A deep thrum sounded somewhere inside Gideon. He recognized that sound . . . that feeling. In the past, he had always supposed that it was God’s way of telling him to listen, to minister to the person he was talking to. But not now. It couldn’t be. But he still leaned back in his chair, attentive, waiting to listen to what Ruby had to say.
“How is it your fault?” he said, encouraging her.
She watched him, her bottom lip between her teeth. She was hesitant to share with him, like many people were, but Gideon still waited, knowing that if God prompted someone to share what was on their heart, he had a reason.
“It happened so long ago.” The skin between Ruby’s freckles turned pink. “I was sixteen and Elizabeth was only fourteen, but we thought we were grown women. At least, I did, and I know that influenced Elizabeth.”
She paused, crossing her arms as she stared at the table, her eyes unfocused as she went back through the years in her memory. Gideon still waited.
“I had met Ned Hamlin at school, even though he stopped coming when he was still a little boy. I had heard that his mother had died when he was young, and his father had no use for schooling. Ned being Ned—” She stopped and glanced at him. “I forgot, you never met him.”
Gideon shook his head.
“Ned and his father lived in the woods south of Daed’s farm. They lived by hunting and trapping, and who knows what else.” She sighed and rubbed her arms. “I thought Ned had the perfect life. No rules. No Ordnung. He could do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. We . . . grew close that summer. I ran into him when I was berry picking by myself one day, and he helped me. It was fun, so we made arrangements to meet the next day.”
Ruby twisted her fingers together.
“We spent a lot of time together, meeting at least once a day. One night I met him after everyone else in the family was asleep, and we went up to Weaver’s Knob to watch the moon set. By the end of the week, I thought I was in love.” She looked at him, trying to laugh at herself. “I suppose you think I was rather stupid and silly.”
“Not at all. I was sixteen once.”
“Miriam and Rachel, my older sisters, were both married, so there were only Elizabeth and I at home, along with Jonas. At night, I would tell Elizabeth all about my romantic encounters with Ned.” She brushed a tear from one cheek. “Then we would giggle about it.” She wiped away another tear. “Then Ned introduced Elizabeth to his new friend, Reuben, who had recently come to the area from Germany. He had bought the farm north of Samuel’s, so we had seen him around.”
Ruby pressed one fist to her mouth, and Gideon waited until she regained her composure.
“Then what happened?” he asked.
“You have to understand, we thought we were so daring and mature, keeping company with men who weren’t Amish.”
She shot a glance at him, then looked away. What had she seen on his face? Not condemnation. Not with the burden of sin he carried.
“The next week, on Wednesday, I went to meet Ned in the woods, near the salt lick where the berries grow best. He said he wanted to show me where to find the best berries, in the middle of the brambles. He had made a path to the center. He said it was his own, private place.” She shuddered as she sighed a deep breath. “That’s when I found out I had only been playing a game, but Ned was serious. He tried to—” She broke off, glancing into the front room where the children were playing. “I fought him and got away, but I didn’t tell anyone. No one.”
She turned toward him, her eyes brimming with tears.
“I should have told Elizabeth. Maybe she wouldn’t have done what she did if she had only known what kind of men Ned and Reuben were. We thought they were like the boys we knew from church, but they weren’t. They lived by a different set of rules . . . or no rules at all.” She wiped her eyes with the hem of her apron. “That weekend, she was gone. Reuben took her to Millersburg, and when they came back a few days later, they were married.” Ruby’s voice dropped to a whisper. “She was only fourteen, and I had ruined her life.”
Gideon leaned forward. “You can’t blame yourself for someone else’s actions.” Anger rose in him against these men he had never met, against Ned and Reuben. “This man used Elizabeth, and he is the one to blame.”
“But she encouraged him.” Ruby sniffed. “She wanted to be with him and wanted to marry him.”
“She was only fourteen. She was a child, and children aren’t old enough to make decisions like this by themselves.” Gideon took Ruby’s hand. “It is over now, and Elizabeth is free to go on with her life, and you are free to stop blaming yourself for what happened to her.” He leaned closer. “I know how close you and Elizabeth are, closer than many sisters. She doesn’t blame you, either.”
Ruby shook her head. “No, she doesn’t.”
“Then let the blame fall on the men who took advantage of two young girls.” He swallowed as a sudden thought tightened his throat. “Reuben was killed, but what happened to Ned? Does he still live in the woods with his father?”
“He died last year. He was in the Confederate army with Reuben, but we had word that he died of an illness.” She looked at him. “I have never told anyone about Ned, about what he tried to do. I’ve never told anyone how Elizabeth met Reuben, either. I’ve kept those things hidden inside and they have eaten away at me.” A slight smile crossed her lips. “You are a good listener, Gideon. There is something about you that makes me feel safe to tell you these things.”
Gideon smiled, but his stomach turned, longing for the relief Ruby had found in sharing her secret with him. But he would never have that relief. His secret would stay buried.
Levi opened the door of the general store and post office in Farmerstown, smiling at the familiar tinkle of the bell. After a year of making this weekly trip to the post office, the little building was as welcoming as his own home.
His smile faded. Sometimes the store was even more welcoming. Ever since Levi had overheard his parents’ discussion last month, he knew he would never be able to please Father, no matter what he did. So he avoided his parents as much as he could.
“Good morning, Levi,” Mr. Lawrence said, coming from behind the counter to shake his hand. “I was just telling Mrs. Lawrence that it didn’t seem like Tuesday until we saw you walk in that door. How is your young soldier? Still well, we hope?”
“In his last letters, he said he was working at a field hospital near the Gettysburg battlefield.”
“Tsk, tsk, tsk.” Mrs. Lawrence shook her head as she sorted through the stack of letters on the post office portion of the counter. “We read about that battle in the newspaper. Such a terrible thing, with so much loss of life. But our boys won and sent the rebels home.”
Levi didn’t answer. Jonas’s letter had described the aftermath of the battle, and from his words, there was nothing to celebrate.
“Here we go.” Mrs. Lawrence handed him two letters. “And there is a package for you, Levi. It feels like it might be another book.”
Taking the package, Levi grinned. “For sure, it is. I ordered my own copy of Martyr’s Mirror. It is a history of the faithful followers of Christ who have been martyred through the centuries.”
Mrs. Lawrence shuddered. “That sounds like gruesome reading.”
“In many ways, it is.” Levi fingered the knot of the string tied around the package. “But the stories are quite encouraging. Through them we can see the strength of the faith of those who have gone before us.”
“I believe you, but I still don’t think it is the kind of book I would want to read.” She came out from behind the post office counter, closing the little gate behind her. “Is Katie doing well? She is such a sweet girl, and I miss seeing her. She used to come with you every week.”
“Katie is fine. Her mother was ill last winter and still hasn’t fully recovered. Katie needs to stay home and care for her.” Levi didn’t add that since he had tried to convince Katie to marry him, neither of them felt comfortable spending time tog
ether without friends or family around.
“Well, give her our best. And tell her we hope to see her Jonas back home soon.”
Mr. Lawrence had been sweeping the floor while Mrs. Lawrence talked with Levi, but now he leaned on his broom. “You folks in Weaver’s Creek have heard about Morgan’s Raiders, haven’t you?”
Levi shook his head. “Nothing at all. Who are they?”
“A group of Confederate renegades. They were making their way through Ohio, bent on destruction, I’m sure, until the Union army caught up with them.”
“Was there a battle? Here in Ohio?”
“Down near Pomeroy. Morgan tried to cross the river and escape back to Kentucky with his men, but between the river being flooded and the Union gunboat waiting for them, they didn’t have a chance. The newspaper reported more than a thousand of Morgan’s men were captured or killed, but Morgan escaped and headed north and east with the Union army behind him.”
“So he is still somewhere out there?” Levi’s fingers grew cold. “Could he be heading this way?”
“Got word just this morning that Morgan was captured along with his remaining followers over at Salineville two days ago. He’s a prisoner now, and he won’t be a danger to anyone, at least until this war is over.”
“That is good news.” Levi whooshed out a breath of relief. “I can’t imagine soldiers this far from the battles.”
Mr. Lawrence nodded. “We have been safe from the fighting up here, and it looks like we will remain that way, thanks to our boys in blue.”
Levi waved to the couple as he left the store. He looked at the letters, one for Katie and one for Abraham and Lydia, then tucked them under his leg as he sat on the wagon seat. Champ started for home. Levi kept his pace at a slow walk while he tore the paper off his new book. He ran his hand over the leather binding and held it to his nose. Fine leather and fresh ink. He couldn’t think of a more satisfying fragrance. He opened the cover and flipped through the pages, anticipating hours spent reading his own copy of this book that many Amish families kept in their homes.
When he reached Katie’s house, the little cabin that had belonged to her brother Karl and his family until last winter, he didn’t even need to get down from the wagon seat. Katie had seen him coming and was waiting on the front porch.
“There was a letter for you,” Levi said, handing it to her. “And one for Abraham and Lydia.”
“None for you?” Katie smiled, but her gaze was on her letter, not him.
“Not this week. But a book I’ve been waiting for was there.”
“Denki, Levi. I hope it isn’t a burden for you to travel all the way to Farmerstown every week.”
“I do it for you and for Jonas.” And he did it to see the smile on Katie’s face. Someday he hoped and prayed that God would bring a girl like her into his life.
His next stop was at the Weavers’, then he started for home. As he passed the lane leading to Gideon’s cabin, he decided to see if Gideon was home. He was in no hurry to get back to the chores Father had waiting for him.
He found his friend in the barn, clearing out the haymow. Gideon stopped his work and climbed down the ladder.
“Getting ready for the next cutting of hay?” Levi gestured toward the barn loft.
“Abraham said we would be able to start mowing again next week, and his barn is nearly full. So most of this crop will be stored here. I needed to make sure the loft was empty and ready for it.”
Levi felt a pull of jealousy but pushed it away. The Good Lord saw fit to give Gideon a pleasant place to raise his family, and it wasn’t Levi’s place to envy him.
“The election for the new minister is on Sunday,” he said as Gideon led the way to the pump in the barnyard. “You haven’t changed your mind about letting us nominate you, have you? You know that if your name is called, you have to participate in the drawing of lots.”
Gideon splashed the cold water over his face and hair. “I haven’t changed my mind. Abraham convinced me that it was the right thing to do. Besides, the final decision is up to the Lord, and I’m content with that.”
“That’s good.” Levi ran a thumb up and down his suspender. “Do you need any help cleaning out the haymow?”
“I’m finished. I was just heading down to Abraham’s to see if the scythes need sharpening.”
Levi sighed. Sharpening scythes was a one-man job. “I suppose I had better head for home, then.”
“You don’t sound like you want to.”
“I don’t. Not really.” Levi smiled, trying to make light of his reluctance. “I know Father has a list of chores for me to do, and I’m just putting them off. I went to Farmerstown to pick up the mail, and my copy of Martyr’s Mirror arrived.”
“You didn’t need to buy one,” Gideon said. “You could have borrowed mine, or your daed’s.”
“I know, but I wanted my own copy. One that will be part of my own home.” If he ever married. “I heard some news while I was there. Mr. Lawrence said there had been a group of Confederate raiders in Ohio.”
Gideon’s face grew pale and he leaned against a nearby maple tree. “I heard something about that when I was in Millersburg last week.” Nearly two weeks ago now. “Where are they? Did he say?”
“He said there was a battle somewhere near the Ohio River, but the leader escaped. He was captured a couple days ago east of here. He had made it nearly all the way to Pennsylvania.”
Gideon rubbed his hand on his trouser leg. His face had dried from the splashing he had given it, but now it shone with perspiration.
“Are you all right?” Levi asked. He had never seen Gideon act this way, like he was frightened of something.
“They captured all of them? Are they sure?”
“I only know what Mr. Lawrence told me. Most of the men were captured or killed in the battle, and then the leader was captured. It sounds to me like the whole thing is over.”
His friend shook his head. “We can’t be sure. We need to keep a lookout for strangers. They are dangerous men.”
Levi would have laughed if Gideon’s face hadn’t been so serious. “I don’t think we have anything to worry about, from what Mr. Lawrence told me.”
“You never know. Be careful going home.”
Levi watched him go into the house without saying anything more. He looked around the quiet farm. The view through the trees gave him a glimpse of the cornfields of Abraham’s farm, and to the west, all he could see was trees. Everything was calm and peaceful, without a hint that anything was out of place or threatening. He went back to the wagon. Father was waiting for him to finish cleaning out the barn.
13
By Wednesday morning, Ruby was convinced that something was wrong with Gideon.
He hadn’t eaten supper with the children the night before but paced along the length of the porch until after she had put them to bed. Then he had walked with her along the lane to the road, watching her until she reached Elizabeth’s house.
All that time, the only thing he said was to watch for strangers and to tell him if she saw any.
When she arrived in the morning, he was sitting in a kitchen chair he had brought out to the porch, his eyes lined and weary in the dim light. It was nearly dawn, but a layer of gray clouds covered the sky.
“Did you sit out here all night?” she asked.
Gideon nodded.
“Why?”
He glanced at her, his hat shadowing his face. “Watching for varmints.”
She nearly laughed, but his serious expression stopped her. “You don’t have any chickens yet, and Bett and the horses aren’t in danger from foxes or raccoons.”
He didn’t answer but stared into the trees surrounding the barnyard.
Ruby went past him into the kitchen and laid the basket of eggs from Elizabeth’s chickens on the table next to the pail of fresh milk from Bett. Gideon had already done his morning chores. She listened at the bottom of the stairway, but didn’t hear the children stirring, so she starte
d making breakfast.
By the time the children had finished their meal, Gideon had still not come inside the house. Ruby poured a cup of coffee and took it out to the porch.
As she handed him the cup, he glanced at her. “Did you see anyone about last night or this morning?”
She shook her head. “No one. What are you worried about?”
“Do you remember the day we went to Millersburg? When we heard about Morgan’s Raiders coming through Ohio?”
“For sure, I do. But that was two weeks ago, and nothing has happened.” She looked at Gideon’s red-rimmed eyes. “Has it?”
“There was a battle south of here last week, along the Ohio River.”
“That is more than a hundred miles from here. You can’t think we’re in danger.”
“Some of the raiders escaped from the battle, including their leader, John Morgan. According to the news Levi brought yesterday, Morgan was captured east of here.”
“If the leader has been captured, then we don’t have anything to worry about.”
He rubbed his fingers across his forehead. “I saw something . . . someone on Monday, during the storm. And then I heard something last night. It’s possible that some of the raiders escaped capture. Then there is also that fellow you and Elizabeth saw. What was a man from Mississippi doing in Ohio?”
“That minister was delivering a letter, and then he went on his way. Besides, what would any of them be doing here?” Ruby looked around the barnyard. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
“If they are hiding out, they would avoid the main roads to keep from being seen. They would sneak around the farms in the area and steal anything they needed before they moved on. But if they are trying to carry out their leader’s mission, they would work to create havoc, destroying and burning anything they could.”
“Why? I don’t understand why someone would do that, especially to people who would never harm them.”
Gideon stared into the woods, the leaves dripping from the light rain that had started falling. “I don’t understand either, but it is the way of war. The purpose is to strike fear into the heart of your enemy, and what could make the North be more afraid than an act of senseless violence in the middle of Ohio?”
